A Forbidden Fantasy - Dramione
by BekkaChaos
Summary: Draco and Hermione are two sides of a coin that have been separated by bad luck and troubled times. After returning to their final year of Hogwarts, post The Great War, can they find one another? Or will Draco's tortured soul and his subconscious determination to prevent himself from finding happiness be too much for their love to bear?
1. Chapter 1

She stole glances at him from across the room, she had done so since they hit the age of about fifteen. He was so confident and demanding with the other students, strong and cocky, with that touch of arrogance that was just electrifying. So now she sits in her mid-year exams, in all of which she will earn top marks, and he sits three rows ahead and two seats to the right. His blonde hair slicked back so smoothly and it catches the candle light so willingly, the muscles in his neck tensed as his mind ticked away. She sighs and returns to her parchment as she finishes her exam and then waited for the hourglass to empty. This was her last exam before the Christmas break, she wasn't leaving for home this year; her parents were away in Switzerland so she was to stay at the school. Aurors had managed to restore their memories after the battle at the school. She had been invited to Ron's house with Harry and the rest of the family, but she wanted to stay at the school to study further for her NEWTS next year, after all she wanted to do the best she could. She and Ron had not lasted long, they just seemed to fizzle out, as did Harry and Ginny. She wasn't really sure why but after all of the events of last year things just weren't the same. Though they all decided to return to the school, Harry and a number of other students who fought have already gained entry to the auror program with the ministry. She was still planning what to do when she finished her final year. The hourglass reached the last few inches and drained quickly.

"Stop writing please," McGonagall said from the corner of the hall.

As the students began to file out of the room she watched as a blur of blonde hair and black robes leave his seat and move out of sight. She sighed again; he was never going to look at her the way she looked at him. The only way he would ever acknowledge her was in her fantasies.

"Hermione!" She turned to see Harry calling out for her.

He asked her to see them off at the train and she agreed. "Have a good Christmas."

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us? There'll be plenty of food I'm sure, knowing mum." Ron asked.

"I really should get a leg up on my study, just go, and have fun. It's only a few weeks anyway."

"Alright." Ron mumbled, she thought he might still be a little awkward around her.

"I wish you would come, Ginny keeps looking at me with sad eyes and it's bloody depressing." Harry whispered to her before they headed onto the train.

Hermione watched the train pull out of the station and looked down at her feet. Part of her wishes that she had taken them up on the offer, but until Ron meets her eyes again she'll keep her distance. She walked back up to the castle and headed to the library, the books have always been loyal companions. She stroked the spines of the books on the giant shelves that have been collecting dust for months, it's a wonder they were able to restore it to its former glory after the battle. And to think, these glorious old titles haven't been given a double look since the restoration. Hermione was about to pull one off the shelves when she saw him go past, his blonde hair a blur as he walked quickly towards the restricted section. Hermione watched him enter and disappear from view behind the shelves and thought to herself, _I could be rebellious, maybe a walk in the restricted section would … aid my study_. She rolled her eyes at the failed attempt at sounding mischievous. She checked to see if the librarian was watching and walked into the restricted section. It had been many a while since she had been in the restricted section. She walked past some rather odd titles and chains connecting books to the shelves. She heard scuffling coming from a few rows down and walked slowly towards it, not that she expected what she saw. There was Draco, his tie undone and his white button up shirt untucked and showing part of his taught white chest, and there, pressed up against him was Pansy Parkinson. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her tongue, she was sure, was forcing its way down his throat. Hermione suddenly felt like an idiot, a feeling that was not familiar to her. She started to back away and her foot caught on some chains and they made a loud clanging which caused Pansy and Draco to leap back from one another. When the shock left Pansy's face Hermione could see the loathing in her eyes.

"You! Filthy mudblood! Expelliarmus!" Her wand was out faster than Hermione could react, the spell knocked her into the wall.

She was slightly stunned but not enough so to resist wiping that smug smile off Pansy's face. "You can call me a mudblood but at least I'm not a filthy snake getting grimy amongst the bookcases, Rictusempra!"

Pansy went spiralling through the air and into a set of bookcases. Hermione took one look at Draco, his haughty expression enough to make her apparate out of the library and into the hallway before the common room. She gave the fat lady the password and almost ran to the girl's dormitory. How could she be so stupid! What did she expect was going to happen by following him into the restricted section? She turned to her parchment and began to write her extended essay for ancient runes.

The next morning she sat in the great hall eating her breakfast and reading a library book, the long tables nearly empty with only a few students from each house staying at the castle for the holidays. She dared not sneak a glance over to the Slytherin table, where Draco and Pansy were sitting; she didn't want any more humiliation than she had already gained. After eating she headed out to the grounds for a walk when someone called out to her.

"Granger!" That silky, self-assured voice could only come from one person.

She turned around to see Malfoy strutting over to her, thankfully he was alone. "What is it you want Malfoy?"

"I uh, just wanted to ask if you, liked what you saw the other day. Didn't know you were into that sort of thing." His smirk was about as wide as his face and he looked as though he was holding back a laugh.

"I can assure you Malfoy that I wouldn't dream of running into you in that situation nor do I enjoy the idea that you would ever come to know what it is that I like." She wondered if sometimes she went too far in seeming disinterested.

"Oh I'm pretty sure you were somewhat intrigued." His grin grew larger.

"I don't think intrigued is the word for it, I think nauseated is a better way to describe it. I can't see why anyone would want to put anything near Pansy Parkinson, I'm sure she has more infections than a Cornish Pixie."

"So Pansy is the problem, well, at least you're intrigued by me." He raised his eyebrows and walked away with a sneer.

Hermione was feeling a slight rush after having spoken with Draco, truthfully she knew why he was attracted to Pansy, she was typically attractive, not to mention she was a tramp. She couldn't help thinking of what it would have been like had she and Draco not been enemies from the very beginning, if they had been able to immerse themselves into getting to know one another. They probably still would have gone their separate ways. He was so… assured and conceited, and she was happy to stay away from the spotlight and have people come to know her as the 'smart girl'.

She spent the rest of her day reading by the lake and practising charms, by the evening she was spent. She skipped dinner in the hall and was heading back to the common room when she ran into Romilda Vain.

"Oh, Hermione! It's lovely to see you!" She exclaimed with a warm smile.

"Romilda, it's been such a long time."

"Well yes, I tried to take up further studies with the dragons in Romania, but after a few close calls I fear it wasn't for me."

"Oh so what are you doing with yourself now?"

"I'm studying the mer-people of the black lake; Hagrid has given me some rather interesting texts to use and creatures to observe."

"You'll have to excuse him there, he doesn't realise that people don't completely share his enthusiasm for strange and albeit dangerous creatures, I trust you remember the blast ended skrewt classes from a few years ago." Hermione smiled, things may have changed but Hagrid will always be the same.

"I suppose you're right as always. Oh! I was meaning to congratulate you on becoming head girl."

"Thanks, it's not much of an achievement considering the few students who did return."

"Well you must try out the prefect's bathroom on the fifth floor, if you haven't already, it's amazing." Romilda grinned.

"No I haven't been up there, no need really."

"You look exhausted! Go up there and run a bath, it will completely revitalise you. Anyway, I must go, I have work to do!"

With that, she scurried off down the corridor and out of sight. Hermione headed into the common room and collapsed onto an armchair by the fire, looking back, sitting out in the cold weather probably didn't do her any good. She thought to herself about what Romilda said about the prefect's bathroom. _It does sound like a nice place to relax_; perhaps it would keep her mind off a certain Slytherin who seems to be featuring quite prominently in her thoughts.

By eight, most of the students had retired to their chambers or remained in the hall to socialize with their friends. Hermione decided to try out the fifth floor prefect's bathroom. She headed through the corridors in her jeans and hooded jumper, carrying her bathrobe and towel she entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Slowly she undressed and slipped her bathrobe over her cool skin before flicking her wand to run the water. An array of taps began to turn with a number of different coloured liquids pouring out from each one. They combined in a clear churning pool filled with bubbles that began to float around the room. She walked over to the steps of the giant bathtub and let her robe slide off her shoulders and fall to the floor, leaving her standing naked in the bathroom. She put one foot into the bath and sighed with pleasure, she could already feel herself becoming more relaxed. She lowered herself slowly into the water, engulfing her senses. The water was so warm it was like lying in the sun without any clothes and soaking in the heat. It smelt like lavender and rose, a scent that Hermione found positively intoxicating. The bubbles floating around her were reflecting the light from the candles in an infinite display of colours. Everything about this bathroom was designed to captivate the senses ad put one completely at ease, and by god was she at ease! She put her head back onto the padded rim of the tub and closed her eyes, allowing herself to float; her body completely covered with bubbles. She didn't know how long she must have been lying there, completely tranquil, when she heard a small click. She opened her eyes and sat up to look around. She could have sworn that she heard the door.

"Is there anyone there? Someone's in here!" She had turned over the sign on the outside of the door to say 'occupied' yet she still felt as though someone had entered the room. Her eyes darted to where she had left her bathrobe and to her surprise, it was gone.

"Looking for something Granger?" Her head whipped around to see Malfoy standing on the other side of the bath holding her robe.

"What are you doing here?!" She managed to breathe the words out as she stared at him across from her in his white school shirt and jeans.

"I, uh, thought you might like some company." He said with a smug grin.

"Well I don't so leave!" She was so dumbfounded that she could hardly recognise her rasping voice.

"I didn't realise this place was so posh, I might've come in earlier." He looked around as he started to remove his shoes and socks.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Going for a dip. Is that a problem Granger?" There was that same smug smile as he pulled off his belt and tossed it on the floor.

"Yes it's a problem! You're not even supposed to be here!" She hissed.

He smirked and unbuttoned his shirt, "are you going to curse me? Will you be calling out for McGonagall?"

She thought about it, but her heart was beating far too fast and adrenaline was slowly taking over her body. What was she going to say? She had no idea where this was going to go but there was no way that she was going to stop it, instead she just looked at him, gabbling to herself. She looked around for her wand, it was probably too far away to reach without exposing herself to Draco. She heard a splash and whipped her head around to see Draco sitting on the other side of the bath with his arms behind his head, looking as smug as ever.

"What do you want Malfoy?" She asked as calmly as possible.

"I think it's pretty obvious."

"Do you think?" Her whole body was just throbbing as she watched him sitting there with the top of his bare chest poking out of the water.

"Yeah, I uh, felt like a bath, don't you know that I come here often?"

"You're not allowed in here, it's the prefect's bathroom."

"You're not a prefect."

"I'm head girl, and were you hoping to find a prefect in here? I'm quite certain they've all left for the holidays."

"Why would I be looking for a prefect?" He scoffed.

"Oh right, you're probably waiting for Pansy." At this he sneered and started to laugh.

"I knew you were jealous Granger, you can't stand the thought of me with anyone can you?"

"You don't know what you're talking about Malfoy."

He flicked an eyebrow up and his mouth pulled into a half smile. "Is that so?"

"Obviously."

With another smirk he stood up out of his seat and took a slow step towards her. She didn't know what to say, what to do; she just sat there watching the water trickling off his bare sculpted chest.

That smug smile never left his face as he slowly waded through the water towards her, the throbbing in her body growing with every step he took. His eyes never left her eyes but hers darted to the water line where she could see the dark shadow of his boxer shorts under the bubbles. She became increasingly aware of the fact that she was completely naked with nothing but water and bubbles to hide her body. She looked back up at him; his gaze still held on furiously to hers, he was a metre away now. She pushed her back into the side of the bath and he stopped walking when his body was close enough for her to smell his musky cologne over the aromas in the room. It was a sweet scent, but at the same time it made him seem dangerous, powerful. It was exhilarating.

"I bet you're thinking about me with someone now, ey Granger?" He smirked and his eyes slowly dragged themselves from her gaze to the water line.

She didn't know what to say, she was definitely thinking about him. He was right in front of her wearing nearly nothing and looking at her so intently that she found it hard to do nothing at all. If she were to do something, what would it be? He took another small step until they were almost touching, his eyes trailed her jaw line and her bare neck, over her collarbone and again down as if his gaze was sinking below the surface and exposing her there and then. She felt her foot slip and bump his, he didn't drop his gaze, instead he sneered and lifted his hands to rest them either side of her on the side of the bath. His foot gently brushed the bottom of her leg and he drew his face in close and grazed her ear with his teeth, his body retaining its distance from hers. Hermione closed her eyes and felt his tongue glance the side of her neck, followed by his lips as they traced the same line that his eyes had only moments earlier. When he reached her collarbone he gently pressed a finger to the bottom of her neck and slid it straight down her body until it reached her navel where he rested his palm on her stomach and dragged it to her side, he did the same with his other hand until they were holding her sides while his tongue continued to lace her neck with such pleasurable patterns. She lifted her arms and pressed them to his sides, the taught muscles of his stomach feeling even more magnificent than they looked. She waited for the moment when he pulled her into him and put his lips on hers, alternatively he nipped at her neck and broke contact, sniggering to himself before wading to the other side of the bath and climbing the steps, his boxer shorts clinging ever so marvellously to his body. Without turning around he pulled on his pants and put his shirt over his chest and called out to her.

"I told you that you liked what you saw." And with that he was gone, out of sight and out of the room.

She almost couldn't believe it, he was there one minute and now he was gone, as if he had apparated on the spot. She could still feel his hands where they had brushed her skin in the water, her neck felt as though it was numb where his mouth had been gently embracing her in a way that was completely out of character for him. There was a tenderness that she would never have foreseen and the way he seemed so sure of himself made her think that he had done this many times before. She sat in the bath for what seemed like hours and only one thing was certain to her; there was no way that she would be relaxing tonight.

Draco pulled his arms through his shirt and buttoned it up as he walked towards his common room. She was right in front of him, she was within his grasp. He knew that in that moment he could have had her in any way that he wanted, but when she put her hands on his sides he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. She wasn't like the other girls that Draco would pursue, she was, sweet. It almost sickened him how he was thinking about her. She had always sparked his curiosity, there has always been that aspect to her that bewildered him, and when he saw her walk into the bathroom alone he thought he could take his chance to get her out of his system the best way he knew how. Everything had been going great, he could see that she wanted him to be there, and he definitely wanted to be in that bath with her. He didn't feel this guilt when he was touching her body, kissing her neck, but when her small, shaking hands tenderly made contact with his chest he felt something else. He knew what it was, he knew what that touch conveyed, but he had never felt anyone express it toward him before. Tenderness, compassion, and for letting her think that he could be capable of something so alien to him he felt guilty. So he walked down the corridor, guilt and regret viciously swimming together in his gut, and his mind running in circles.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione woke up the next morning still feeling drunk from the deeds of the night before. It was as if his hands never left her body, it was a feeling she wished would never go away. She checked her watch and saw that breakfast was due to be starting soon. She pulled on her jeans and a t-shirt and brushed her hair. She selected her most sensational perfume, Vex Baysoon, a floral and fruity scent that she adored; though this time she didn't use it for her own enjoyment. She headed down to the great hall, it seemed so empty without the majority of its students. As she flounced to the Gryffindor table she felt as though she could have been a student at Beaxbatons, she felt so full of grace. She told herself that she wouldn't but she couldn't help looking over to the Slytherin table. As soon as her eyes hit the table she felt herself grow heavy. Draco was sitting at the end of the bench with an over exuberant Pansy Parkinson hanging herself from him, and he didn't seem to mind, in fact he seemed to enjoy it. She was standing behind him with her arms draped over his shoulders and stroking his chest, her lips whispering into his ears, his mouth curling into a satisfied grin every time she did so. Hermione suddenly felt embarrassed, she threw her head down and walked to her table, her appetite no longer in function. How stupid could she be? To think that Draco could be interested in her and only her when he had someone like Pansy readily available at his beck and call. Last night must have been a mere ploy to get out of her what he wanted, she thought. But why then did he leave? Her head was spinning and she wished that he had never said two words to her.

She heard the mail run starting and looked up to see Errol flying towards her, he misjudged his landing of course and skidded off the table a metre from her plate. He soon hopped back up and turned to allow her to untie the letters from his leg. One was from Harry, the other from Ginny. She opened Ginny's letter first.

Hermione,

I hope all is well at Hogwarts, I had hoped you were coming back this Christmas, my mother was quite disappointed. I expect she'll knit you something and have it sent over. I still wish you and Ron could have worked things out, I'm pretty sure he feels that way too, mainly because he doesn't want it to be awkward I think, you know what he's like. It's hard having Harry here …

She began to talk in depth about why it was hard for her to sit across from Harry at the dinner table and how Molly was trying to force words out of their mouths. Hermione expected nothing less from her, though she expected that it would be a way for her to avoid talking about Fred. Hermione found that her throat became dry and that she had to take deep breaths when she thought of him. The wounds were still very fresh. The battle changed a lot of people and some of them were still coping with the scars as if they were fresh incisions, unable to be sutured, with individual grains of salt being scattered into them.

Hermione sighed, she did feel guilty about the way things ended with Ron, it had been weeks of silence, days without contact. After a while she realised that she didn't love him in the way that she thought she had. He was her best friend, for seven years. You would think that a friendship like that would make for a perfect relationship, maybe they just waited too long. She did love him, but as her friend, nothing more. Now it was just awkward between them.

She opened Harry's letter and began to read.

Dear Hermione,

I know Ginny is writing to you, I just want to say that I am not purposely trying to avoid her; it's just easier to apparate into the kitchen rather than risk running into her on the stairs. I hope your study is going well. I'd be going absolutely mad. Have you even decided what you want to do when we graduate? I'll send you something for Christmas when the date gets closer, try not to spend it alone. I think Luna is staying over Christmas, her father couldn't stand for her to see the house as it was left and wanted her safe at Hogwarts. You know, now that it actually _is_ safe. Ron told me to say that he says hello. Can you two please just stop being awkward? It puts a lot of pressure on me! I know, it's not about me. Anyway, I'll write again for Christmas, I was just making sure you're not too lonely.

Always, Harry.

Hermione sighed again. She thought to herself that she would escape to Hogsmeade for the day to relax, seeing as she did no such thing last night and Draco was so wrapped up in Pansy.

She walked through the snow-lined streets of Hogsmeade she could smell the food cooking in the kitchens of the pubs and she heard the carollers singing on the next street over. She walked into the Three Broomsticks and ordered a butter beer before sitting in the old corner booth that she would always sit in with Harry and Ron. She took one of the back issues of Witch Weekly from the stack on the bench and began to flick through it.

"I didn't peg you as a gossip magazine kind of girl, I guess you're tired of being a know-it-all." She didn't need to look up to know whose silky arrogant voice it was beside her.

"What do you want Malfoy?" she said coldly without looking away from her magazine.

"I thought you might like some more of my company. You seemed so enthralled by me the last time we met." She sniggered to himself and she put the magazine down.

"Malfoy, what is it that you want?" She looked up at him with a blank stare.

"You! Mudblood!" Hermione snapped her head around to see Pansy striding towards them.

She grabbed Draco's arm and she was quite obviously digging her nails into his skin.

"What do you think you're doing?" She hissed.

"I believe I was minding my own business before I was so rudely interrupted."

"How dare you talk back to me! You just think that you have something that Draco wants, you'll never be worth anything mudblood!" Clearly she was being defensive because she was jealous, and right now Hermione just didn't care. "You're not in the same league as Draco and I, you don't have what it takes to stand with us, or near us for that matter." She sneered, her eyes burning with hate.

"I have no intention of standing with or near people who mean little to nothing to me, I won't be losing any sleep over not knowing you, either of you." Hermione turned to look at Draco as she finished her sentence.

She picked up her bag and pushed past Pansy to get to the door of the bar before heading to Honeydukes to find something that might warm her up.

As he watched her walk out of the bar he felt a pang in his chest, she had looked at him with such nothingness in her eyes, could she really feel nothing at all for him? More importantly what was this repugnant emotion that he was experiencing with her dismissal?

"She's pathetic." Pansy took hold of his shirt and pulled him in for a hard kiss on the mouth.

It was exactly the kind of kiss he liked, it made him feel nothing, and it brought him back to the reality that his life was destined to be without warmth. The only warmth he had ever felt was Hermione's hands on his sides in that bath. He never expected it nor did he ask for it. It wasn't until he felt that warmth did he realise that his life was so barren of it. When she had looked up at him as she left he didn't understand how it could make him feel so alone, he had thought that was already what he was feeling. Apparently he was wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione spent her afternoon reading in the library, her trip to Hogsmeade being completely ruined by Pansy and her foul disposition towards anything that even looked at Draco sideways. Hermione swore that she saw something in his eyes when she left, but he made no effort to follow her or silence Pansy. She sighed and marked the page of her book and put it into her bag.

It was only when she had finished reading and started to head back to the common room did she realise that she was freezing. Her mind instantly relayed back to the prefect's bathroom. No, she thought, I won't go back there. She was too annoyed to be confronted with those memories again. But why should she restrict herself because of Draco? She quickly headed to the bathroom where she turned the sign to read 'occupied' and scurried off to get her towel and robe.

Draco had escaped from the clutches of Pansy once they returned to the castle. Her hands were constantly tugging at him and forcing him onto her, something that made him cringe. He could never feel anything with her; she was the same as the others. She was always trying to control him and force him into her way of thinking. Everyone used him as their pawn in a giant chess game, a pathetic piece that just enabled their game to move forward. He was sacrificed for the slightest of things and he was never to make his own choices. He sighed and leant against the stone castle wall, deep in thought. As he looked down the long corridor he saw Hermione walk past the opening of the hall. His blood began to pump faster and he walked to where she had been just in time to see her flick the sign over on the door of the prefect's bathroom and hurry down the hall.

_She must be coming back_, Draco thought. He opened the door to the bathroom and headed inside to wait for her return. He waved his wand to run the taps and his himself just out of plain sight behind a statue in the corner of the room.

The longer he waited the more he felt like this was a bad idea. She had been so cold with him earlier. Then again, he had been cold for seven years. Seven years that she knew of at least. He had reason to be, he was bitter; he still is. This was a terrible idea, he thought. What was he supposed to do now? When she walked through those doors what would he do? He closed his eyes and clenched his fists in frustration. He stepped out from behind the statue but when he heard the doors click he leapt back into his hiding place.

She walked into the room carrying her bathrobe and towel and stopped to eye the full bath. She looked perplexed but seemed to shrug it off. She unzipped her jacket and let it fall to the floor. She pulled her jumper over her head revealing a tight white singlet. She kicked off her shoes and threw her socks onto the floor.

Knowing he couldn't hide any longer, Draco took an unwilling step forward.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Granger! At least take me out for a butterbeer first!" he laughed as she jumped and turned around to face him.

"Must you keep doing that?! What do you want now?" She looked at him with what seemed to be impatience but Draco could swear that he saw a glimmer of excitement in her eyes.

"I just thought I would take another bath."

"Didn't you see the sign?" She folded her arms over her chest.

"I took a look but there was no one in here. So, uh, here I am." Draco smiled smugly and watched her expression change.

"All because you wanted a bath?"

"What can I say? It's pretty snazzy in here." He stepped forward and stopped when he was standing by the edge of the bath, one metre in front of Hermione.

"So why were you skulking in a corner, fully clothes, rather than in the water…more appropriately dressed for that type of activity?" This time it was Hermione's time to grin as she poked a hole in his story.

Draco tried to think of something fast, something witty, but all he could muster was anger, something that he was good at. "You think you're so smart don't you Granger? I suppose you are for a mudblood." There was that pang again, he hadn't meant to say it. It just slipped out.

He watched the charming smile disappear from her face, only to be replaced by another set of cold eyes, like the look she had given him in the Three Broomsticks.

"I'm-" he was about to apologise when she shoved him hard in the chest.

Completely unprepared for it, he took a step back and lost his balance on the edge of the bath. He fell back and Hermione reached out and grabbed his arm.

"…sorry!" He finished his sentence as he descended into the water. Hermione was still holding his arm but was unable to pull him back up; she couldn't help but come crashing in with him.

They both surfaced, taking deep breaths and floundering until they stood firmly in the chest high water. They both straightened themselves out and recovered from the shock of the unforeseen tumble.

"Sorry! I don't know what came over me!" Hermione said looking slightly sheepish. Her eyes seemed to watch the bubbles moving about the top of the water, never looking up at him.

"Probably my fault, I, uh, shouldn't have called you a… well I shouldn't have said what I did." He watched her face with curiosity, wondering where her mind was taking her. They stood in silence for a few moments, Draco was feeling more guilt with every second she stayed silent.

"I don't see why you shouldn't have. I am what you said, and you haven't hesitated in saying it to my face in the past." She looked up at him now, her eyes boring into his with undeniable accusations.

He could see the hurt she felt and he forced himself to hold her gaze, each moment causing him more anguish. Why should he be allowed to forget the hurt he caused? He would stand there and suffer for as long as he needed to. He knew that he deserved nothing more from her but hatred, and it made him ache to know it.

"You can't control who and what you were born." He said in response, "I won't call you one again."

Hermione's eyes softened and she tilted her eyes to the side so perceptively. He had never seen someone look at him like that; he didn't know what to think.

"Well, now what? Both of us have clearly drenched our clothing and you can't apparate into common rooms. Will it be dripping your way through the castle or the alternative?" She smiled gently.

For a moment he merely looked at her. She didn't yell, she didn't throw snide comments at him, and apart from the shove she didn't inflict any physical abuse. Instead she treated him in a way that was foreign to him, she moved on from their dispute and was back to being, kind?

"The alternative would be …?" He asked.

"Well to put it politely; it would be you carrying your clothes through the castle." She had a gleam of cheek in her tone and Draco allowed himself to smile.

She looked down at his wet clothes and then back up at his face. Her expression had changed but Draco couldn't quite determine what she was thinking. She took a slow step towards him and reached out her hand to clasp his jacket zipper. She tugged lightly and pulled it to the bottom. Once it was undone she looked up at his face and pulled it over his shoulders and tossed it to the tiles outside the bath. Draco didn't move, nor did he know how to move as she unbuttoned his shirt and did the same with it as she had done with his jacket. He stood shirtless in front of her without any idea how to react and no clue as to what she was doing next. Again she looked up and into his eyes as she placed the palms of her hands on his chest. He flinched slightly at her touch but she didn't remove them. Tenderly she slid them up and onto his shoulders, down his arms and then back to his chest. From there she ran her hands over his stomach and across onto his sides just as he had done to her the night before.

"Oh! I'm sorry; you're still in your shoes and belt." She looked up at him sympathetically but he was far beyond caring about his soaking clothing.

He slowly reached out to put his hands on her sides; it wasn't until she took a step forward into him that he actually made contact with her skin. She pulled her hands away and lifted her shirt, again tossing it to the tiled floor. She put her hands back onto his sides and there they stood; Draco shirtless and Hermione in her bra. She took another slow step towards him and wrapped her arms around his body. He let himself embrace her; she was so small and fragile in his arms and yet he felt as though he was the one who would break at any moment. She looked up at him with kind eyes and he looked down into hers too afraid to let go but too scared of what he was feeling to stay. He tightened his grip before releasing her and pulling himself away.

He waded to the side of the bath and climbed out.

"Where are you going?" Hermione called out as he was gathering his clothes.

"To my common room." He didn't look at her.

"I thought you were happy right here."

"I have to meet … Pansy." He strode out of the room as fast as he could and he knew that what he had said would hurt her but it had to be done.

He couldn't let her think that he was capable of something he wasn't. He couldn't let her expect anything from him when he knew that she was worthy of far better than him. His heart sank and he walked towards the dungeons and as desperate as he was to turn back, he continued to take one step forward after the other.

Hermione pulled off her wet clothes and dried herself off. She was back in the dormitory after a confusing night with Draco. She could tell that he wanted to be there with her, but the way he left made her think. He had said _you can't choose who and what you were born_, he wasn't talking about her. She hadn't put too much thought into what he had been dealing with in the last few years. The things he was told to do, the people who were living at his house, the contact with Voldemort and the complete and utter exile he must have felt from the entirety of Hogwarts, excluding Slytherin of course.

"Poor Draco…" she whispered to herself.

No wonder he looked so pained and fragile. Back in the bathroom she had been almost afraid to touch him for fear he would fall to pieces. She wanted to make him forget, she couldn't imagine the torment he must be feeling. _I have to do something_, she thought to herself. She wasn't going to let him suffer, at least not alone.

Draco trudged back to the common room, beginning to freeze in his wet clothing, yet still he walked slowly to feel the ice freezing his blood and to numb him completely. He finally made it back to the dungeons and when he made his way into the common room he collapsed in front of the fire; his teeth chattering and his lips near blue. He relished the pain; he would rather feel like this than feel the way he did when he was with her. He was not weak; he could handle pain and suffering. By god if anyone has suffered it was him; and Potter, but he would never admit it out loud. He shuddered at even the thought in his mind. Potter may have saved his life but that did not make them friends, just lesser enemies.

"Why the hell are you all wet?" He groaned at the sound of Pansy's nagging voice.

"It's winter." He said flatly.

"That doesn't make you soaking wet." She flicked her wand and Draco felt his clothes slowly drying out.

He sighed; he was just beginning to forget everything but the pain. Pansy slunk towards him in a way that he expected was supposed to be alluring. She sat beside him and pulled his lips into hers before running her hand down his chest.

"What do you say we go into your dormitory for the rest of the night?" her dark brown eyes looking up at him lustily.

He counted the number of times that he had ventured into various places with Pansy, willingly of course. That was something that he could use to forget. It may sound as though he was cruel but she wouldn't have been with him if it wasn't of some personal benefit to her. This time was different. He had felt something that he didn't think was a part of him; so how could he forget how that felt? One touch from Hermione had filled him with warmth, while Pansy's hands slithering about his body made him feel nothing. He didn't understand it.

Draco stood up and walked towards his dormitory, he was the only seventh year Slytherin still at the castle for Christmas so he had the dorm all to himself. He stopped at the entrance to the staircase that led to his room.

"Are you coming or what?" He said coldly.

Pansy leapt from the couch and walked past him and up towards the dorm.

Draco begrudgingly followed.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione woke up on the morning of the twenty-third with thoughts whirling through her mind. There were so many things that she wanted to ask Draco, so many things she wanted to do for him. She felt as though she made progress last night, despite his rapid departure. She felt as though she had to write back to Harry and Ginny before she did anything, they had taken the time to write to her.

She told Ginny not to worry too much about her and Harry, and that she should probably stop looking at him with sad eyes because it wasn't helping anyone. She wrote a much longer letter to Harry. She may have rambled on a bit about the awkwardness with Ron, probably too much. She didn't dare say anything about the person with whom she had been spending the most time. He would not appreciate that.

With only a few days until Christmas she thought she would be able to use that to get through to Draco. She headed down to the great hall to eat. The Christmas trees were gleaming with baubles and enchantments, Hermione thought that she may have even seen a pixie hiding within its branches. There were candles floating in the ceiling which was a snowy morning sky. It would really look beautiful at night. She sat down at the table and began to eat her breakfast. We could go for a Christmas dinner in Hogsmeade, she thought, he would never go for that. She had to think of something completely different, he wasn't like anyone else she knew. He had bigger scars than most, even after the battle; especially after the battle. She knew that Lucius had been taken to Azkaban, and Draco had come under scrutiny from the ministry. Nothing was made of it of course, he was a minor and he had no positive reinforcement. How was he supposed to refuse?

She wrote something down on a small piece of paper and enchanted it to find Draco, and only Draco.

Meet me in the Hog's Head at noon.

H.

She watched it flutter out of the hall and continued to eat her breakfast.

Draco awoke in his bed to find Pansy lying next to him. He sighed and his stormy grey eyes grew damp as he thought about the night before. Pansy was not comfort, she was a distraction. But even that kind of distraction was hardly enough to sate Draco anymore. He had been to the other side and now, looking back, he couldn't imagine this side being anywhere near as satisfying. He blinked quickly to remove any evidence of what was inside him and dressed in his jeans, a shirt, jumper and jacket. He planned on getting away from the castle, if only for the day.

When he reached the back of the portrait to exit, which had been replaced by a picture of Snape, along with his portrait in the headmaster's office, he opened it and was assaulted with a flying piece of paper. It flew about his head ever so stupidly and did so until Draco snatched it up with his hand. He opened it and read the message. A smile threatened to spread across his lips but it was soon replaced by a feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him feel like he was being dragged to the ground and would be unable to rise. He thought of Pansy up in his dormitory and Hermione waiting for him in the Hog's Head at midday. The idea made him sick to his stomach. He knew which one he would rather forget.

He looked at his watch; ten thirty. Though he desperately wanted to, he wasn't sure whether meeting Hermione in such a public place would be a good idea. He wandered aimlessly around the dungeons for what seemed like such a long time before he made his decision.

Hermione sat in the back corner booth of the Hog's Head waiting for Draco to arrive. She knew that there was a chance that he wouldn't show up, but she would not leave until she was certain. She looked up at the clock on the wall of the bar; a quarter to one.

_This is so stupid!_ She thought; feeling slightly embarrassed at sitting all alone with her butter beer for almost an hour. She did not leave.

It was an hour later when she put her book into her bag, finished the last of her butter beer and headed for the door. As she opened it she saw Draco standing outside, looking as though he was having trouble making up his mind.

"What are you doing out here?" she said loudly.

He looked up, startled, and struggled to make an intelligible sentence.

"I've been waiting for nearly two hours, how long have you been out here?"

"Only about half an hour." He said quietly.

"Come on then, come on!" Hermione ushered him away from the bar and he followed her looking confused.

"Where are we going?"

She didn't answer, she just scurried through the snow with Draco following her every step. They finally arrived and Draco stopped in his tracks when he saw where they were headed.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

He was standing with a cold glare about three metres away from the fence-line. "The Shrieking Shack?"

"Yes, you clearly don't want to be seen with me so are you coming or what?" Hermione smiled back at him and headed towards the decrepit old building.

She got about half way down the path when she heard his footsteps in the snow. She reached the shack and turned around to see him trudging through the snow with his arms folded.

"You better have a good reason for this Granger." He said as he passed her and walked into the old wooden building.

They walked up the stairs and into the room next to the only one that Hermione had been in before. How many of the people that had been in that room were now dead? Snape, Sirius, Lupin; she felt her chest tighten when she thought of those lost.

She sat down on the old creaky bed and smiled at Draco. He looked at her questioningly. "What is it?" She asked.

"Why would anyone come here? Look at it; it's disgusting." He looked condescendingly at the room.

"Not through choice, I've only ever been here the one time." She looked around; her mind wandering back to her third year.

"Right, you and Saint Potter chasing after Weasley." He said with a hint of malice in his voice.

"Saint Potter?"

"Yeah, Saint Potter, and you, you're practically the golden goose of Gryffindor."

"I am not the golden goose of Gryffindor! What does that even mean?"

"You're the favourite, perfect little Granger. And Potter always had to save the day. Was Weasley always the damsel in distress?" He was pacing now; Hermione watched as the spiteful words fell from his mouth almost involuntarily she thought.

"I am not perfect! And it's not Harry's fault that he was a target."

"Poor Potter, always having to be the hero; I bet it got so hard for him." She could see the anger on his face spreading like a disease until he was consumed with it.

"It was hard for him! He didn't want all of the attention. It wasn't the attention he was after! He was trying to do the right thing."

"He always had to save the day."

"I can't help what we did for the school and the magical world!"

"Neither can I!" He yelled.

His face was red and he was standing in the doorway looking back at Hermione who was now standing in the middle of the room. Her heart went out to him. _There it is_, she thought, _that's a part of what's hurting him_. His face dropped and he leaned against the wall to take a deep, shaking breath.

"Draco, I-" She started.

"Don't!" His quick heavy breathing easily heard over the silence of the room, "don't call me that!"

"It's your name."

"And I don't want to hear you say it! I don't want to hear anyone say it!" Hermione heard a sob escape him and she walked over to him slowly.

She placed a gentle hand on his arm and pulled his body around so that he was facing her. She looked up at his face and he wouldn't meet her eyes. She could see that his eyes were glassy and the pain she saw in them must have been soul-splitting. She raised her hands to his face and put one either side of it. Draco's stormy eyes looked up and into hers as if screaming for help, and she drew his face towards hers and kissed his lips gently. Her thumbs softly stroked the skin on his cheeks and his shaking hands found their way to her sides. She parted her lips and held him tighter and their kiss deepened. Draco wrapped his arms around her body and she pressed herself against him.

It was one of those kisses that just made your legs feel like jelly. It was one that felt like you were experiencing everything at once. All of a sudden they were moving, neither one sure who was doing what or how but it didn't matter, they were far too involved in one another to think of anything else. Draco felt in a way that he never had; her loving caress foreign to him but he felt as though he could never let her go and at the same time he was so afraid that the moment would be fleeting. Hermione had never felt so secure in someone's arms, despite the fact that he had been the vulnerable one and she had been the safety net. There was no way she wanted to let go.

Somehow they found themselves on their knees; her hands were laced in his hair and he had his arms wrapped around her body so tightly that she couldn't move; and she didn't want to. She kissed him slowly, savouring his every taste, every curve of his mouth and every sweet touch of his tongue. He kissed her uncertainly; all he could feel was ecstasy. This was better than anything he had ever experienced. She placed tender kisses on his lips and rested her forehead against his as they held each other on their knees.

She looked up into his eyes and she could see fear written deep within them. She kissed his forehead and felt his arms tighten around her.

"I… I can't stay." He said, resting his cheek on hers.

"I know." She whispered.

She knew that there was something stopping him from feeling something, and for now she could accept that. Reluctantly she detangled her fingers from his hair and left a kiss on his cheek. She waited for him to let her go and he left the room as quickly as he could. She heard the stairs creaking as he walked away from the shack, she listened until she couldn't hear him anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

Hermione sat on a bench in the corridors of the north wing. She sobbed slightly and thought about her idiocy. He had been showing feeling with her and then just running to Pansy? Had he been lying to her the whole time? He would sate a part of himself with her and run back to Pansy to finish everything off.

_How could I be so stupid?_ She thought.

"Hermione? Are you alright?" She looked up to see Luna looking down at her contemplatively.

"Oh, hello Luna, I'm fine." She sniffed.

"I beg your pardon but you don't look quite fine to me." She walked over to the bench and took a seat next to Hermione.

"It's nothing, Luna." She sighed.

"It wouldn't perhaps have something to do with Draco Malfoy would it?"

Hermione's head snapped to the side as she looked up at Luna with bewilderment. "Wha-Why would you suggest that?"

"I've seen you talking to him around the castle, and the way you look at him, not to mention the way you reacted just now."

Luna looked at Hermione with her sweet face smiling gently, as if she understands something so much deeper than can be explained. Hermione suddenly felt no restrictions in speaking to her.

"Yes it is." She went on to detail her encounters with Draco and Luna sat there thoughtfully listening to her. "And so I shoved past them and here I am."

"It seems to me that you've invested a lot more emotion into him than you ever thought you would."

Hermione thought about denying it but at this point she couldn't help but reveal that it was the truth. "I know I shouldn't and that he's a bad guy but there's just something there. I thought he felt it too but apparently not."

"I don't think Draco is a bad guy, just a little misunderstood."

"How do you mean?"

"I used to see him around school a few years ago looking nervous. I saw him sitting in a corner of the halls one night with his hands over his face, he was crying."

"Why?"

"Can you not imagine?"

Hermione thought about it, he had been under a lot of pressure in the past years; his father pressuring him into becoming a part of a world that he had no interest in. Not to mention that Voldemort took a particular interest in him. It was hard enough for her dealing with the things that she did, but she never thought about how hard it was for him to be amongst it all.

"I went back to my room and found my leather woven bracelet, my father bought it for me for luck, and I put it next to him. He flinched away and we looked at one another for a few seconds. I told him that it was for luck and that it would keep him safe. He got up and left, but when I looked down the bracelet was gone. There's a lot more to him than you would think. He doesn't mean to hurt you; he just doesn't know how to make you feel good because no one ever showed him that courtesy." Luna smiled sincerely and Hermione wondered how she could be only the mere age that she was.

"I can't believe I never thought of it like that; I'm so stupid!"

"I don't think you're stupid; your mind is just running around with so many things that it's hard to cram anything else inside."

"Thanks Luna."

"That's alright, have a good Christmas Hermione." She hopped up and wandered airily down the corridor in her red, white and gold Christmas clothing.

She watched as Luna headed to the astronomy tower and thought to herself that she couldn't let Draco's mistakes, _or perhaps purposeful sabotages_, get in the way of what she wanted. And right now all she wanted was to prove to Draco that he's better than he thinks; making a fool of Pansy will only be a plus.

Draco walked back into the castle after almost two hours in the cold snow. He had removed his jacket while he tried his luck in a boxing match with a tree; needless to say he came out worse for wear. He had sat in the snow with his hand red and bloody; the sleet melting into his clothes and infusing his body with ice. It's not like he didn't already feel like it. When he finally looked down at his watch he realised he had little over an hour to make it to the train. He stood up and gathered his jacket, his lips blue and his teeth chattering. His luggage had been taken to the station already. The only thing left was for him to catch the train and leave with Pansy.

He walked slowly towards the station, his body heat slowly leaving him as his wet clothing caught the cold wind. It was a half hours walk before he made the distance.

He saw Pansy waiting by one of the doors and she smiled when she saw him walking towards her. It wasn't hard to notice the difference between her smile and the one Hermione had given him this morning. He nudged his pocked and felt the small package she had given him.

"There you are. Why the hell are you all wet?" She gave him a disapproving look.

"I slipped in the snow." He said through clenched teeth.

This was partly due to anger but mostly due to the frozen nature of his body.

"Whatever, just come on." She grabbed his arm to tug him but somehow he couldn't force himself to move. "What is it?"

"I just have to check my luggage."

"Meet me on the train then." She let go of his arm and walked onto the train without as much as a backwards glance.

He looked at his watch; five minutes until the train leaves, then no trains incoming or outgoing for three days. He moved quickly to the luggage compartment and opened the door. He pulled out his wand, eleven and a half inch black hawthorn. He had taken it back from Potter at the end of the battle, more so it had been returned to him. It was in his kitchen when he and his parents had gone back home.

"Accio!" He shouted and his luggage came flying towards him, causing a number of crates and trunks to come crashing to the ground.

He grabbed it with his wounded hands and pulled it out of the train. He winced as he dragged it to a nearby carriage and threw it on. Once it returned to the castle the house elves would return it to his dorm. The whistle blew on the train and he saw the attendants begin to close the doors. He felt no guilt in turning away from the train as it drew away from the station.

Hermione ran down to the station, maybe the train was still there. She ran up the steps and didn't see the train. She smelt the smoke from its engines and sighed. She was too late. He was gone, probably with Pansy, back to London and to Hermione that was about as far away as they could be from one another.

She headed back to the castle and sat in the hall reading a book. There were very few people in the hall now, most of them reading or working on essays. She twisted a lock of hair around her finger as her eyes sped across the pages. She heard something crash at the entrance to the hall and she looked up to see Draco cussing and clutching his hands before looking around the room. His eyes locked on her and he made quick strides towards her.

"I wasn't… I never tried to… she's just…" He stammered.

Hermione saw his lips trembling and his body shivering and she could just feel the cold from his form reaching out to her and trying to pull her in. "You must be freezing!"

He looked at her with disbelief and stammered again. "I… but I was… yes."

She reached out for his hands and gasped when she saw how beaten up they were. "What have you done to your hands?!" He still looked at her without understanding and she smiled. "Come with me."

"Where?"

"Come up to my dormitory."

"I don't think that will help."

She smiled, slightly amused, "I am not Pansy Parkinson," she saw his cheeks flush faintly. "Do you trust me?"

Draco looked at her as if he did not understand. He didn't trust anyone; he hasn't trusted anyone in a long time. It's been a long time since anyone has given him reason to. Yet here she was, this sweet beautiful thing sitting in front of him asking for the one thing he couldn't give, and he so desperately wanted to give it to her. He would give her everything. This being the case he nodded slowly and met her shining eyes.

She led him up to the Gryffindor common room and told him to put his hood on before they reached the fat lady's portrait. He did so and she gave the password. He noticed the fat lady give him a suspecting look before they jumped through the entrance. When they got inside a few students looked up and one called out.

"What are you doing here?! This isn't your common room!"

"Drop it McDermott!" Hermione called back and took Draco by the fingertips and they ran up to her dormitory.

By now she was the only Gryffindor girl in her year to be still at the castle so she also had the dorm to herself. She laughed as they quickly made their way through the door and locked it behind themselves. The melodious sound of her laughter made Draco's icy body warm up, metaphorically, he was still freezing.

She spun around and put her arms around him before reaching up on her toes and gently pressing her lips against his for a fleeting moment before she pulled away and began pulling vials from her bag.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm preparing a remedy for those cuts and bruises on your hands. What on earth have you done to them?"

He looked at her with suspicion. He had betrayed her trust, done the unthinkable, and she was, _helping_ him? His instincts told him that she was setting him up for some sort of failure, or humiliation, or revenge; but for some reason he didn't believe that she was capable.

She had out her smallest cauldron and was pouring small amounts of liquid into it. She stirred it a few times and leant over it to breathe it in.

"Okay, this is quite a rough concoction but it should do the trick. Take off your jackets, its warm in here and they need to dry." She looked up at him but he remained still.

She stood up and walked over to him before gripping his coat and gently pulling it off, she did the same with his sodden jumper, carefully pulling it over his head and trying to avoid his painful hands. He was left in a thin long sleeved shirt which was also slightly damp.

"You can take that off if you like."

"No, it's fine." He said, his hand brushing over the underside of his arm.

She looked at him questioningly before heading back to the potion. He didn't want her to see it. He didn't want her to have any reminder of who he was; who he is. Even with help to remove it, his Dark Mark was still visible on his pale skin; a slithering branded reminder of the life he tried so longingly to forget.

"Draco?" his head whipped around to see her looking at him expectantly.

"I told you not to call me that."

"It is your name and so I will address you by that name. What else would you have me call you?"

He thought about it, what would he have her call him? He didn't know. He was just going to have to get used to her saying the name he hated. Not because it was a horrible name, but because the context of that name was never good in his experience.

"It doesn't matter."

"Good, now put your hands in here." She handed him the cauldron and he looked back up at her. "Do it! You don't want your hands to be bloodied and full of splinters do you?"

He took it from her hands reluctantly and dipped his hands into the liquid, "Argh!" he yelped as the liquid stung his wounds and he pulled his hands from the cauldron.

"That won't help and I know it stings but it will fix you up. Do them one at a time and I'll hold your good hand while you do the other." She offered.

"Why?"

"As a comfort?" She said as if it were obvious.

He did as she said and grimaced while he submerged him hand into the potion. Smoke arose from the cauldron and he could see the cuts beginning to heal.

"How is it that you just so happened to have these ingredients on- Argh! On hand?" He asked.

"Well I've had them for a while actually, ever since last year when we were travelling. They're good for fixing up wounds or even removing small splinters and stingers. It can remove venom from scratches too; nothing major like Basilisk venom or those of a large arachnid but smaller less potent venoms are easily treatable." He looked at her with a sense of admiration.

She must have dedicated a hefty amount of time into studying for antidotes and healing aides, how else could she possibly know so much about such a simple yet rarely thought of brew?

She pulled his hand out to look at it. "How does that feel?"

"Good," he mumbled and put his other hand into the cauldron.

They sat in silence as his other hand began to heal, his already cured hand locked with Hermione's. He snuck glances at her when he thought she wasn't looking, he even risked a smile. She was… caring for him. She was tending to his wound with thought and a gentle hand. Why would she do that? Another sense of dread filled him as he thought about her motives, _determined to stay away from him, _she had said. Why was she doing this?

He pulled his hands away and the cauldron fell to the floor, its contents spilling over the floorboards. Hermione jumped and he turned away from her and stood against a far wall.

"What's wrong?" she asked, worry lines tainting her pretty face.

"What are you playing at?" he spat.

She looked taken aback, "excuse me?"

"You heard me. I saw the way you looked at me today, the way you hissed your words at me in the great hall. And why wouldn't you? I did you wrong. Why are you helping me when I don't deserve this! You're the reason my hands looked the way they did! Why are you even talking to me now? If I were you I would be cursing you when your back was turned, not tending to your self-inflicted injuries! What are you playing at?"

She looked down and then back up at him, her eyes cloudy with tears. He felt a stab in his gut and wished he hadn't made her cry.

"Fine. Do you want me to do that to you? Would you rather me act out of spite? I could do it you know, you did hurt me. Not that I have any reason to be hurt, I'm the side dish, Pansy is the main course."

"Don't talk about it like that!" He yelled.

"Why not? Does it offend you that I thought of it in that way?"

"Of course it does!"

"Well I am sorry that I made you out to be a pig!" With her last word the tears broke free and rolled down her cheeks.

"That isn't the problem!"

"Well what is it?!"

"You're not a side dish!"

She looked taken aback, uncertain. She looked as though she didn't understand.

"You… what?" she spluttered.

"Don't talk about yourself like that. Pansy is nothing, just a way for me to turn away from everything, including you. Why did you have to do it?"

"What have I done?"

"Why did you have to touch me the way you did? Why couldn't you be the same as the others? You had to touch me with your small, sensitive hands. Why couldn't you just leave yourself at a distance where I didn't have to think about you?"

"I want you to think about me." She said in a voice so angelic it threatened to tear him apart.

"I can't!" He choked out the words and felt tears stinging behind his eyes. "Don't you understand that someone like me can't think about someone like you? Not like this!"

"Says who?" She took a few steps towards him and looked into his eyes.

"Says this!" He pulled up his sleeve to reveal his faded Dark Mark.

He waited for her to recoil in disgust, or yell at him, but she took another step towards him and took his hand. She leant over and kissed him in the spot where his mark was etched in his skin. He tried to pull his arm out of her reach but she used his strength to launch herself into his arms. Her face was inches from his; she looked deeply into his eyes.

"I'm no fool, and I'm not blind. That thing doesn't define you and it certainly doesn't deter me. If you want to use it as an excuse then go ahead but you don't fool me. I won't hurt you, Draco." He couldn't force himself to break her gaze; instead he allowed the tears to fall from his eyes.

She caught them with her fingers and wiped them off his face. His body crumpled at her sweet touch. He hated what he had done to her. He saw the hurt in her eyes when she spoke about Pansy and wished he could forget it. He knew that the image of her pain would be something he could never forget, and he wouldn't let himself forget it.

He sat on his knees and sobbed into her chest as her arms engulfed him. Her hands gently stroked his hair and held him tight to her body. When was the last time he had allowed anyone to see him like this? He certainly never let anyone get this close to him when he did show this kind of emotion, but the thought of her letting him go now was far too painful and he freed his arms so that they were able to wrap around her.

She hushed him like one would a child when they were upset. She kissed the top of his head and whispered to him.

"Don't hold back, let it out… I'm not going anywhere Draco… I won't let you go Draco… _Draco_…" His name echoed in his ears, and for the first time in a long time he found himself holding on to the hope that she would say it again.

Hermione sat cradling Draco in her arms for what seemed like hours. This was just as much a comfort to her as it was to him. _He does feel something, I'm not just second best to him_, she thought. He had stopped sobbing but still she whispered to him. She felt as though it was soothing for him.

"Come with me, I'm not going anywhere." She slowly stood up and took him by the hand.

She led him to her bed and he sat down. She kicked off her shoes and he did the same.

"Those jeans are still wet; take them off before they soak through the sheets."

He did as she said and she turned around to pull off her layers of clothing. She could almost feel his eyes burning her skin and she stood in her singlet and jeans. She took a shaky breath as she began to unbutton her jeans. Her hands trembled and she pulled them over her hips and down her smooth legs until she stepped out of them, trying not to fall and look as clumsy as she usually does. Finally she was standing with her back to him in her white singlet and black panties, almost too nervous to turn around.

When she plucked up the courage to turn, she saw that he was sitting there in red boxer shorts and his long white shirt. His eyes grazed over her body and she felt her cheeks flush; no one had ever looked at her in that way before.

She sat next to him and reached over to his shirt and gave it a small upwards tug. He lifted his arms and let her strip it from his body. She tossed it to the floor. As she allowed herself to take extended looks at his body she felt hers throbbing with the thrill of it all.

Leaning over she planted her lips on his and he put a hand to her face with a gentleness she knew he was adept in showing. Their lips moved in synchronism and their tongues danced together. She pulled his body into hers and laid her hands flat against the toned muscle in his back. They lay back in her bed and wrapped their legs together as they continued to kiss each other with unmatched emotion.

Hermione pulled back from their kiss and looked into his eyes, which had become the most delightful of blues, still holding him close.

"I don't think you'll be getting rid of me too easily." She whispered.

His eyes softened. "I don't plan on it."

She pulled his head down so that it was resting on her chest and took one of his hands in hers as they began to drift to sleep in one another's arms. The last thing Hermione remembered seeing before she fell asleep was the well-worn leather bracelet hanging on Draco's wrist.


	6. Chapter 6

Hermione woke on Christmas day, blinking from the rays of sunlight peeking through the cracks in the curtains. She felt Draco's body pressed against hers with his arms draped over her and she smiled. She carefully rolled over so that she was facing him and looked up at his face. He looked so peaceful, his face so serene that she couldn't help but smile. She leant over and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He began to stir and his brow furrowed before his eyes crinkled and he opened them. He looked groggy and Hermione put her hand on his side. For a moment he looked slightly confused but when he came to he pulled her into him and kissed her deeply.

Hermione let out a small groan and lifted her hands so that they were entwined in his messy blonde hair. He shifted his body so that he was lying on his side and holding her into his rock hard body. She felt a shiver run through her body as she felt him beside her. She realised how inexperienced she was compared to him. How many girls has he done this with before?

She tries to concentrate on her thoughts but she succumbs to her impulses and allows herself to melt into him. His kisses become softer until he is looking down at her, the tip of his nose gently grazing hers.

"Sorry, I… I thought it might have all been a dream." Hermione watched a smile flicker onto his lips and she couldn't help but return it.

"Merry Christmas Draco." She pulled him in for a long purposeful kiss and he didn't argue.

"Merry Christmas," he managed to choke out when their embrace broke.

She became suddenly aware that she was hardly clothed and she felt her cheeks flush. She tried to subtly tuck the sheets between the two of them and he smirked.

"Embarrassed are you?" He said with a hint of his usual arrogance.

"What? Why would you say that?" She protested.

He smirked again and reached down to pull the sheets away and she knew that her face was giving her away. She looked away from his eyes and felt his body shake as he chuckled.

"Fine, I won't look, but just so you know, it'll be tempting as hell." He rolled over and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

Hermione couldn't help watching him, his body was so exposed. Her eyes traced the lines of the muscles in his back and couldn't help noticing the way the paleness of his skin made the red on his boxers stand out.

She heard him laugh and looked up to see the side of his face as he looked over his shoulder. "By all means, you can look as long as you want." More arrogant chuckling and again she felt the heat in her cheeks.

"I… I mean I wasn't…"

"Yes you were, don't worry, I find it quite flattering really. Is there, anything else you want to see?" He smiled cheekily and stood up in front of her.

He put his hands out to his sides and kept up his smile and she laughed without looking up.

"Alright! I was looking! You don't need to do that!" She looked up at him and tried to avoid his body, focussing only on his face.

Draco must have noticed this and so he continued to stand there staring at her, the self-importance written all over his face. They stood staring at one another before Hermione's eyes darted to his broad shoulders and he laughed.

"You can't help yourself can you?"

"I am in control of myself!"

He leant in and took her head in his hands, pulling her face towards his for a deep hungry kiss and she realised just how powerless she was.

As Draco held her in his hands and felt her kiss heating up under his lips he thought that there was no way anyone could be so perfect by accident. How much of this had been inspired by someone else? How long ago had she and Weasley parted ways? Was she just taking him under her wing because she felt sorry for him? Or was it because she needed companionship after breaking up with Weasley?

He pulled away and walked towards his clothes.

"Are you going to open it?" He turned around to see her looking up at him unexpectedly.

She was so beautiful sitting in the sheets, he remembered how soft her bare legs felt against his and even though he had woken up with her arms around him he still didn't believe it could be true.

"Draco?" He had been staring at her silently for too long.

"What?"

"Are you going to open the gift I got you?" she looked up expectantly and he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the small paper parcel.

He pulled the string and ripped the paper exposing a gold pocket watch on a chain. He flicked it open and the inscription began to scribe itself:

Pure of Blood, Pure of Heart

He felt the smile burn the corners of his lips and he knew that she could never know how much it meant to him. He wasn't even sure that he could comprehend it.

"Do you like it?" She bit her bottom lip anxiously.

"I don't really know what it means, but it's nice." He shrugged nonchalantly.

"I cast the inscription spell myself." She gave a small smile and looked down, "you should know what it means, or at least figure it out."

He knew that he should tell her what it means to him, but somehow the words just wouldn't form on his lips. "I couldn't figure out what it means." He grumbled.

"You should."

"Well I can't."

"Why are you so stubborn?"

"Why are _you_ so stubborn?"

"I know you know what I meant, why are you so scared of admitting that?"

"Why do you always have to fight me?"

"Well isn't that just the pot calling the cauldron black." She looked up with an eyebrow raised and a smug look on her face, it almost made him smile, instead it made him angry.

"Do you think you know everything? You don't know anything about me so why are you pretending you do?" He pulled on his shirt and began to do up his buttons.

"Do you think you went by unnoticed for the past two years? I noticed, I could see that you were hurting, it's not your fault!"

"How many times do I have to say just leave it!" He swung his arm to try and silence her but he knew it wouldn't work.

"I know what it feels like to do things you regret, do you think I don't feel guilty about some of the things I did last year?"

"You?! At least people respect you; you were on the side fighting for survival, not fighting to win! Do you think I will get anywhere in this world when everyone knows my face, knows what I've done?"

"There are things I am not proud of, Draco, but that does not mean they define me!"

"I'll say it again, at least _you_ will be looked upon with some shred of respect and dignity, and what will I get? I had _no choice_ but to do what was asked of me! If I didn't, I would have been killed. Maybe I should have died, used some courage and died for what I thought was right like all those others who died because they didn't care about their own life, just the collective life of their faction! I didn't die for either one so I am a coward!" He balled up his fists and his face was contorted with rage.

"You were coerced by not only Voldemort but by your parents as well! I cannot imagine what kind of pain that inflicted." She reached out a hand to touch his arm and he pulled it away violently.

"Don't talk about my parents. And don't say his name." He said, his voice shaking with fury. "You don't know anything! So stop trying to fix me and stop trying to act like you know me… Nobody does." He turned away from her and almost whispered the last words, he wasn't even sure that she heard them.

"I know that if you thought there was any way out of it, you would have acted, but you were trapped, I know!" She was standing behind him now, she didn't try to touch him and he thought it might have been because she was afraid of his reaction.

"There were ways out."

"Without dying Draco, it's not selfish to want to save your own life if you can, it's human nature. Do you think any of the others would have done half as much as they did if they did not value their own lives? Or the lives of the ones they loved?" She was almost pleading with him now.

"Potter didn't seem to value his own life very much; he walked straight into that forest to die. And he came back for me in the Room of Requirement. He could've left me to die; he should've."

"Well, Harry is just-"

"See the way you talk about him, the way everyone talks about him; with admiration! Saint Potter." He almost spat the words.

"You really have to stop calling him that. It's not his fault that Voldemort chose him as the child from the prophecy."

"The Chosen One. _Saint Potter_."

"It is not his fault that Voldemort set his sights on Harry just as it is not your fault that he set his sights on you, just different circumstances. Harry had years to prepare and Dumbledore on his side. Who was on your side? No one!"

"Thanks for pointing that out Granger, exactly what I wanted to hear." At least she was starting to put him in his place, all this niceness was confusing.

"You know what I mean. No one was positively reinforcing you, I mean you had Snape, and Snape was a good man, one of the best, but with you he had to be loyal to Voldemort. That was a part of the plan to save Harry." She must have seen him wince at the Dark Lord's name. "Can you still not stand to hear his name? He's dead, _Voldemort_ is dead!"

"Shut up!" He heard her sigh and turned around to face her. "I know he is, that doesn't change how I react to his name!"

"I'm sorry, it must be hard for you, to face everything that happened. Having to deal with everything that you did, and that he did to-"

"Don't pity me!"

"I don't pity you!" He thought he had seen it in her eyes but she looked up with fierce eyes, like she was still fighting.

"You do! Or else why would you be talking to me? Why would you have been here with me all this time?" She had to pity him, it was the only explanation.

"I don't pity you, you had Snape, working for Dumbledore by working for Volde- _The Dark Lord_, to keep Harry safe-"

"Now you're just being condescending." She folded her arms and sighed.

"Which would you prefer: pity, or condescension?" She said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Condescension."

"I thought so." She paused. "I mean it's not like Dumbledore walked up to you and told you that anything you do is okay. I always did feel annoyed that they used you in their game just like Voldemort. Maybe they were trying to keep you safe but they seemed just as happy to let you suffer. It was all a part of the plan."

"Part of the plan? Of course it was part of the plan; I was supposed to kill Dumbledore for _Him_! And he may as well have died at my hands."

"You didn't kill Dumbledore! Snape did!"

"If it weren't for me he might not have!"

"That's not true, believe me! The plan was always for Snape to kill Dumbledore! It was _Dumbledore's_ plan!" He couldn't believe that, even if it was true.

He was in too deep now that he didn't know how to get out. How much more was going to slip out of his mouth?

"It wasn't your fault Draco, I know you didn't like Dumbledore, I know you thought he was a joke but more than anything I _know_ you wouldn't do something like that unless you were forced. You don't think I know anything about you but I've been in your classes since we were eleven, I know enough." He looked up and she put her hand out to him.

He looked down at it and sighed, letting his pent up rage leave him and he felt exhausted. He stepped forward and fell to his knees. Hermione put a hand on either side of his face and his hands clasped her shoulders.

"Why do you keep doing this Draco? Why do you keep tearing yourself down?" He wouldn't look at her. Every time he did this, she was there, why wouldn't she just leave? He tried to but how could he leave now? There was no chance for him to find something like this with anyone else. She was the only one. "Do you want me to leave, is that it?" He looked up with tears in his eyes.

"What?" He choked.

"If you want me to walk away from you, or if you thought this would be a one week holiday… _thing_, then I'm going to disappoint you. I'm not walking away now Draco." She pulled his face into hers and their lips collided with a salty kiss.

It was a hard kiss, the kind that Draco had thought would make him feel nothing, but she made him feel everything. He felt his anger, his pain, his fondness for her… his lust, it all hit him at once and he didn't know how to feel.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her and opened his mouth to deepen their kiss. He heard her release a groan from the back of her throat and he growled. Without breaking their kiss, he got to his feet and pushed her back onto the bed. He felt her push her body against his from under him and slide her hands up and into his hair. She felt so warm underneath him and he wanted so much to touch more of her, feel more of her, and have her wrapped around him never to let him go. He just couldn't let it be now, not like this; she deserved better.

He pulled away and looked down at her; her hair was splayed behind her and she smiled up at him so sweetly. He was panting slightly and he gave her a quizzical look.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?" She looked confused.

"I was… I was so _angry_… and… and now…"

She leant up and left a kiss on his mouth that was so soft he thought he might have imagined it. "You get worked up too easily."

She tapped him on the arm and he moved aside. She pulled on her jeans and a sweater. He started to pull on the rest of his clothes as she headed for the door. "I'll just see if everyone has left the common room." She left and he waited. He took the golden pocket watch from the floor and put it in the pocket of his coat. "Quickly, we can get out before anyone even notices you." He pulled on his shoes and they ran through the common room.

When they reached the corridor outside the common room she stopped him. "I understand if you don't want to sit with me in the hall for breakfast." Her face said otherwise.

"No, I can… I'll sit with you." _There was almost no one here anyway_, he thought.

He saw a small smile flicker onto her face and they walked to the great hall. When they entered there were only ten students. They seemed to look at one another curiously but went back to eating and reading letters from their families. They sat down together at the end of the Gryffindor table and a few platefuls of a breakfast feast appeared in front of them.

As they were filling their plates, two owls flew into the hall and headed towards them.

Hermione untied her letters from the owl's leg, it was Errol again. He looked exhausted from carrying them all. There was one from her parents; they must have made some type of contact with the Weasley family. It was probably Harry. He was the only one who knew any real information about how muggles function. There was one from Harry, Ginny, Molly, Neville, even Ron had written to her. She started to open the one from her parent when she heard it.

"You filthy **_wretch_**!" Pansy's voice rang out all through the hall and Hermione turned, expecting to see her standing over them.

Instead, she looked down to see a red seething envelope hovering in front of Draco, who was now an even paler shade of white.

"How dare you even _think_ of leaving me alone on that train?! You _scum_! No wonder no one else even bothers to talk to you anymore! No one else cares! You pathetic piece of **_filth_**! You had better be waiting for me on the platform when my train pulls back in! You are nothing without me! You're _useless_! You can't even do what you're _told_! I'll see you when I get back. You had _better_ be there." Her voice echoed in the hall, her piercing screeches caused everyone to turn and look at Draco.

He was looking at the spot where the howler had been before it disintegrated, horror written all over his face. His hands were shaking and they were slowly balling up into fists. Hermione didn't know what to do for him; she was just as stunned as everyone else in the room. He stood up slowly and walked out of the hall. Hermione stood up to follow him and as she leant down to collect her letters, she realised that the howler was the only one Draco had received.


	7. Chapter 7

Draco stormed out of the hall, humiliated and enraged. He hated Pansy. He didn't want Hermione to think about that howler. He balled up his fist and ground his teeth together so hard that it hurt. He was seething, absolutely furious.

Why did he think that this was beyond even Pansy? He would never do something like that to anyone. Ever. Not even her.

Curse her, maybe. But he would never humiliate her like that if she hurt the way he did. Not that she knows how he is feeling of course, no one does. Hermione is the only one who has even tried to scratch the surface.

He pounded his fist against the wall and used it to steady himself as so many things ran through his mind. He felt dizzy, sick. Why should this abuse be any different than that which he had received for the rest of his life?

Maybe he had reached his threshold, maybe it was just the contrast between his elation from the night before.

He yelled out and began throwing his fists painfully at the wall.

"Draco stop!" Hermione pleaded with him.

He turned to see her standing behind him with a desperate look on her face.

"Why?!" he screamed at her, his pale face contorted with pain.

She flinched at his anger and it just made him feel worse, but this was something he had lost control of.

"How will it help?"

"It helps me just fine! Don't tell me what I can and can't do!" The vein in his forehead was pulsing furiously.

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do Draco! I just don't want you hurting yourself because of _her_!"

He pulled out his wand and pointed it at her. She looked up at him, fear glistening in her glassy eyes, but she didn't move.

"Go on! Get out of here! You're afraid of me, I can see it!" He choked out the words as he let his agony overwhelm him.

"I'm not afraid of you, I'm afraid for you."

"What does that even mean? You're afraid _for_ me? You're _lying_! I scare you!" His wand wavered as his whole body quivered.

"I know that if you hurt me you're going to do a lot more damage to yourself." She looked up with kind eyes and he longed to just melt into them and have her keep him safe.

"It'll hurt you more if you're dead!" he yelled.

It was almost one swift movement; she pulled her wand out of her pocket and gave a silent flick, disarming him. One more flick and he found himself unable to say a word.

He tried to yell out but it was no use, he had no voice.

"It's for your own good, when you yell you just make it worse for yourself and it gives you a reason to feel bad later. You just end up regretting it, so keep your mouth shut." She said sternly and he did as she said.

She reached out for his hand but he pulled away violently, his eyes narrow and his nostrils flaring. "Fine, I don't have to touch you, but you don't have to let her get to you. She's hardly worth anything. I don't know why you bothered with her in the first place."

He tried to speak but again nothing came out. She was right though, the less he was able to say the more he calmed down.

"There weren't many people in there, and most of them know how much of a snake Pansy is. Nothing that she said in that howler was right; she just made herself look ridiculous. Come with me." She held out her hand again and Draco sighed.

He threw his hand into hers roughly and she pulled him along.

What was she still doing here? She had to be crazy to stick around or maybe… what if he really did mean something to her?

She led him to the library where they took a seat in the back corner on an old couch. She made him scoot over next to her. She looked into his eyes and reached up to stroke his hair. He flinched away but she just tried again, so he let her.

Her fingers ran through his blonde hair and he closed his eyes. They were so gentle; it made him feel like that letter was just a distant memory. He opened his mouth to speak but he was still bound to silence.

She took out her wand and gave it a swish. He felt a release as his voice found him again. "Why are you so nice to me?" he whispered.

Her hands were now on either side of his head, her fingers lovingly caressing his hair. It was soothing, and her eyes were searching his with such a deep fascination; he had never felt cherished like this before. She dipped her head and gave him a soft peck on the lips before resting her cheek against his.

"Is it really that hard for you to figure out?" she murmured in his ear, sending a shiver through his body.

"Why me?" he couldn't understand it, no one had shown anything like this to him before.

"I don't believe everything you do is because you really mean it, there's more to you. When I first saw you I knew it, but it wasn't until I got older that I really wanted to get to know you. And now, I don't want to turn away."

"I don't want you to."

"So don't push me away, come here." She motioned for him to rest his head on her lap as she sat back.

He stretched out on the couch with his head resting on her legs as she ran her fingers through his hair and stroked his arms.

"What are we supposed to do when school starts up again? What would Potter say?"

"They don't have to know if that helps, I know Pansy would probably try to hex me out of this world." He sat up and looked at her face, filled with worry lines.

"She won't touch you, I won't let her." She looked over at him sweetly and leaned in for another kiss.

This one was longer and more purposeful. It felt like a binding kiss, it told him that she meant what she was saying and that she really didn't want to lose him.

"So we need to be more discreet, but where are we going to be able to see each other? It's not like people don't know who we are." She asked.

"When the holidays are over we'll need somewhere for just us. I know just the place." Draco almost managed a smile.


	8. Chapter 8

Hermione felt that her bed was empty without someone else sleeping in it, specifically without Draco sleeping in it. She was colder, she missed the way his arms felt around her body and how the rise and fall of his chest made her feel protected. She never experienced anything like this before so she never knew what it was like to miss it.

They had agreed to meet tomorrow, trying out a discreet meeting place. They both knew perfectly well where to go, even though they haven't said it. Hermione wondered how it would affect him to be back there; at least it would be different this time. She would be there for him.

Still, she couldn't help but run through what Harry and Ron will say when, or if, they find out. She has never had to keep something like this from them before. She had new found feelings for this man who has always been the enemy, so why could she change her mind about him so quickly? Or at least what seemed like a short period of time.

In reality her affections for Draco had been growing for a long time. Hermione thought back to that day in their third year when she sent her fist flying into his nose. He really was arrogant. As she looked back she realised that in the early years of his time at Hogwarts he really was as arrogant as he sounded, but as the years went by it became more of a mask to cover the gaping hole that was growing inside of him. He used his arrogance to hide his insecurities and protect himself from anymore hurt.

But what was it about her? Why was he letting his guard down for her like he never had with anyone else? Even Pansy, _especially_ Pansy. She must have been a part of his cover, so long as she was as nasty to him as she was, he didn't have the chance to feel any good, and therefore lost all hope in a better life. Hermione couldn't imagine feeling so alone and powerless that she would have to remove all the happiness from her life just to be able to live it.

She thought back to the day when she performed the memory-removal spell on her parents, obliviate. She had felt like it was the only choice she had to keep them safe, but she still had Harry, and Ron. She couldn't imagine living with no joy, or even without any hope of ever finding it.

Her mind was running around in circles with all of this information, and the excitement and anticipation of seeing Draco tomorrow. It took her a long time to finally get to sleep.

She woke early the next morning and practically threw on her clothes and ran down to the great hall for breakfast, just hoping to meet his eyes across the room. She ate her breakfast slowly, constantly looking up and over at the Slytherin table. She sat in the hall for over an hour, waiting for him to show up. They agreed that she would meet him at the room of requirement at noon. It was currently nine in the morning.

She took a walk around the castle; time was ticking by far too slowly. She headed to the library and took out an old book to read. She looked up at the clock after a while of reading to see that only an hour had passed.

She sighed and slumped back in her chair, _will midday never come?_

It seemed like forever to Hermione but she held herself back until half past eleven when she decided it was okay to head up to the seventh floor.

She was suddenly nervous, was this going to end up the same as their last meetings? All they did was fight, hopefully this would be better.

She walked past the entrance three times, needing to find the room with Draco in it and as she walked back towards it she found the door materialised in the wall. She opened it slowly to see Draco standing with his back to the door, muttering a spell, or a charm. He didn't see her so she just smiled as she watched him. She didn't notice anything around him; he was wearing his blue jeans and his white school shirt semi-tucked in and rolled up at the sleeves. He looked so gorgeous.

"What are you doing?" She smiled as he turned around quickly.

"Oh, I was just… come here." He held out his other hand and turned up his mouth in half a smile and looked over at her expectantly.

She stepped forward and took his hand. He led her to the centre of the small room and put his wand in his back pocket to take her other hand.

"Look up." He said.

She tore her eyes away from his and looked up to the ceiling. "It's enchanted!"

The ceiling was the midnight blue of the night sky with shiny specks of light for the stars. They whirled around the ceiling and sparkled like glitter.

"I spent the night looking up a spell, just…be warned, it might start raining. I'm not even sure how, but it starts like this and then a storm comes."

"If it rains it rains." She let go of his hands and wrapped her arms around his neck.

As her lips found his he tentatively placed his hands on her back. She pulled her lips away from his and whispered to him.

"It's perfect." He dipped his head and pressed his lips into hers.

"You'll change your mind when it starts raining on the food." He sighed slightly and she put her hands on the side of his face.

"Food doesn't matter, besides, I think you'd look really nice in the rain." She blushed a little as she spoke, it sounded a little stupid but the worst bit was that she meant it.

He managed to put on a real smile and moved aside to show Hermione the rug on the ground with a flask of pumpkin juice, muffins and some other bits and pieces. They sat together on the ground and he poured her a glass of juice and she looked up to the starry ceiling.

"You really spent the night looking up a spell to enchant the ceiling?" she asked.

"I didn't want you to be let down. And I didn't get you anything for Christmas." He reached into the pocket of his school shirt and flashed the golden watch that she had given him just a day earlier.

"I was pacing the library for hours just waiting to meet you here. I know, it's stupid." She looked away from him and her hair fell over her face.

He reached out and brushed it back behind her ear. "It's not stupid, it's a disappointment isn't it? I knew I should have bought you something, I'm so stupid!" he screwed up his eyes and turned away from her.

"Draco! Don't do this again. The first thing I noticed when I walked through that door was you…because that was the reason I was so impatient. You couldn't have disappointed me Draco, and the sky is just amazing. No one has done something like that for me before." She scooted over so that they were touching and leant over to give him a kiss.

His hand rested on her thigh and he opened his mouth to slide his tongue along the inside of her lip. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and they danced together. Hermione gave a small sigh as he pulled her leg over his. She pushed her body even further into his and their lips pressed harder together, becoming even more demanding. Hermione put a shaking hand on his chest and started to slide it down his body. As she reached his navel she heard the thunder. Their lips separated and they looked up at the ceiling which was now playing host to growing grey clouds.

"It doesn't really rain does it?" She asked.

Another crack of thunder echoed in the room and suddenly the rain started to fall.

"I don't know how…" Draco said over the sound of the rain.

She laughed and gave him a firm kiss. His lips twitched into a smile before he wrapped his arms around her and rolled her to the floor before giving her another long hot kiss in the cold pouring rain. The only thing that could come between their lips was the rain and the sound of Hermione's exhilarated laughter.


	9. Chapter 9

Draco sat in the common room that night; his lips tingling from where she had last touched him. His eyes were unfocussed and he couldn't think of anything but her. They had stayed in the room for hours, Hermione managed to fix the ceiling of course. He had felt a stab of anger at the fact that she had shown him up, but the way she had leant over and kissed his cheek halfway through her spell had dispersed his anger and filled him with something else. He wasn't entirely sure what it was, or even how to describe it, he just knew that he didn't want to lose it.

The common room was quiet, so quiet in fact that he could hear the flickering fire ahead of him and the ticking of the wall clock behind him. It was a week until the first train pulls back into the station, three weeks until the last. His stomach started churning with the idea that Pansy could be back in seven days. His face twitched as the anger stirred inside him. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He saw Pansy's sneering face and he bit down on his lip as he thought of something else.

The first thing he saw was Hermione's eyes staring back at him, so happy and full of life and… love? Why would he even think of that word? It was something he had put behind him a long time ago. So what was it that he was feeling? She made him feel, light, calm, she gave him excitement and he had never cared about someone as much as he felt he cared for her. It was a scary thought for him, for the first time in his life that he can remember, he had something worth having, and more importantly, something to lose.

He opened his eyes and sighed. How was this ever going to work? He thought back to earlier, as they were heading back to their common rooms…

"When am I seeing you again?" He asked, holding her hand tightly.

"Tomorrow, should we say noon again?"

"I thought you were too impatient to wait until noon today?" He smirked.

She nudged him with her shoulder and put her arms around him. In that moment he had wanted to lift her off her feet and spin her around. Of course he hadn't, it would have been stupid and it was an irrational desire. His other desires on the other hand… No! It was true that he wanted her in that way, of course it was, how could he not? But the thing that made him hold himself back was that he had no idea how to show her that she was more to him than just something physical.

She probably knew it already but the only… encounters that he had were fuelled by anger and the yearning to forget everything else in his life. Not that she would like to think about the other girls that he had been with. Truthfully he had only ever completely been with Pansy, he shuddered at the thought. He had fooled around with a few others, mainly before the whole business with… _him_. He shuddered again.

He honestly thought that he might actually do it first with someone who meant something to him, but it didn't turn out that way. It was the night after he had found out about what you-know-who wanted him to do in sixth year, he had been wandering around the castle and Pansy had found him. He had fooled around with her once before, she had coaxed him into a broom closet at the beginning of fifth year and knelt down to unzip his pants, why would he argue? She was never really a nice person but she didn't have to be nice to do that. She was always vicious and maleficent, but she only really brought it out when she knew that she could take advantage of him. He was weak, mentally and after a while he would do anything to keep her off his back. He won't pretend that there was _nothing_ in it for him because obviously there was. It doesn't really matter how you feel about the person it feels the same right?

They saw each other every day that week; Draco was obviously tense on the day of the first train. After the howler had arrived he began to dread the day that Pansy got off that train. On that day Hermione had asked him to meet her out by the lake. He thought that it was strange because it was so cold, but she took his hand and it just warmed up his whole body. Pansy didn't return that day.

Trains began to arrive every second day and Draco got even more agitated. Hermione always seemed to find a way to make him feel better. It was a week after the first train had arrived and he was waiting to meet her in the room of requirement. It was her turn to set up and he was wondering what she had planned this time.

Over the past few weeks he had become intoxicated by her. He found himself unable to think of anything else even when he wasn't with her. Everything had been heating up in their last few visits to the room but Draco still didn't want to rush anything. He couldn't bear to disappoint her because he was so terribly afraid of losing her.

Yesterday he had walked her back to the staircase that led to the Gryffindor common room and as she said goodbye to him her hand had slipped through the buttons of his shirt and pulled him into her. She hadn't touched his skin like that since Christmas night. He shivered as he remembered that touch.

When she pulled him in their kiss deepened and he pressed her against the wall. He had never wanted anything as much as he had wanted her in that moment. The only problem was that when he wanted someone he felt the anger grow inside of him. This was the result of mixing the two emotions for the last two years.

Looking back on last night, he didn't so much press her against the wall as he did throw her. He put one hand roughly in her hair and the other he wrapped around her, pulling her up and into him until she was standing on the ends of her toes. He could feel everything getting away from him as she let out a groan into his mouth.

It was that point where he let her go and turned away from her. 'See you tomorrow' was all he had mumbled to her before he hurried back to the dungeons.

Now all he felt was anger at himself because he embarrassed himself by leaving like that. What if she was angry at him? What if she isn't there when he shows up today? Now he was just making himself sweat.

She wouldn't do that to him, she knew how fractured he was. He just still couldn't believe it.

He headed out of the dungeons early and made his way to the room of requirement, all the way on the seventh floor. He knew that he was early but his paranoia had won out. He became impatient when he had to wait for the staircases to change, but he was soon on his way again. He walked past the room three times before the door appeared.

He could feel the sweat threatening to bead on his forehead as he opened the door. He saw the back of her head and gave an instant sigh of relief. She spun around quickly and Draco saw her cheeks flush.

"Sorry, I'm early." He couldn't help but walk towards her and slide his arms around her waist.

"Oh, uh, that's fine, I just… well I didn't mean for it to look this way." She avoided his eyes and he looked over her shoulders.

Behind her was a large bed with candles floating around the room, as well as sprigs of lavender in small vases. Draco loved Hermione's perfume which was made of lavender, so when he took a deep breath of air he let out an audible sigh.

"Oh, well, I don't know what you mean."

"Obviously you know what it looks like. I just mean that I _really_ wasn't thinking about…_that_." She smiled awkwardly.

Draco looked away and pursed his lips, not really knowing what to say to that.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean that I didn't want to, only that it wasn't my intention."

He curled up his mouth in a small smile and looked down at her. "So, you do want to?"

Her cheeks were turning impossibly scarlet as she bumbled for words. "Well, I mean I… do you?"

He leant in and kissed her, opening his mouth to slide his tongue between her lips. He pulled back and looked into her eyes.

"I just, I haven't…" She looked away, she looked nervous.

"You mean you and Weasley never…" she shook her head, "not even…kind of?" she shook her head again.

He was suddenly filled with a sense of pride, his arrogance bubbled to the top and it showed on his face. She lightly slapped his chest and he flinched, the overconfident expression still plastered on his face.

"Hey! Just because you have me to yourself doesn't mean that you can gloat, its offensive, and a little flattering." They shared a small smile before she spoke again. "I know that you've had others." He looked away from her. "I don't mind."

He looked back to see her staring up into his eyes. He unexpectedly felt nervous, he swallowed almost anxiously. Her hands slid into his shirt again and he felt goose bumps spread all over his body. He took a step back and started to unbutton his shirt and slipped it off his shoulders. He slowly reached out to her but she took a shaky step back.

"Sorry, I'm just a little nervous." She said.

"You know, I've already basically seen you without your clothes." He smiled a little.

"What?! No you haven't."

"Do you remember a few weeks ago, in the prefect's bathroom?" He face softened into a cheeky, pondering smile.

"So why do I feel so different now?" she almost whispered.

"What?"

"Well, in that moment I would've gladly… succumbed to you, without the slightest of nerves, but now that I'm here thinking about it I'm nervous."

His mind wandered to a place where he had let himself do everything he had felt like in that moment. "Completely hey?"

He watched her cheeks flush again and he brushed his fingertips over the side of her face. She closed her eyes and her lips parted slightly, almost waiting for him to press his against them.

Instead he slipped her jacket off, exposing her arms to the air. He stepped in close to her and took her hand to rest it on his chest. When he let it go she slid it down his torso and tucked one finger into the band of his jeans and he bit his lip. He felt everything well up inside him and he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into him, kissing her roughly on the mouth. His hand reached around to the back of her neck and as he pulled away he tilted her head to the side to whisper in her ear.

"Don't think about how nervous you are, just think about what I'm doing right now." He almost growled the last few words.

His lips pressed against her neck and he held back the temptation to take her skin between his teeth. He kissed down her neck and over the taught muscles by her shoulders, grazing her with his teeth almost involuntarily. She let out a small moan and he held her tighter against him, a pressure beginning to press against Hermione's hip.

She pushed her hips out and into him and he sighed shakily.

In his mind he envisioned himself throwing her back onto the bed and tearing at her clothes but something held him back. This was for her, not him. That was something he would never consider for Pansy.

He pulled away to look into her eyes and was surprised at the amount of hunger he saw in them. He reached down to pull her shirt over her head and she obliged.

She could feel the most intimate parts of her body throbbing, she found it hard to believe that he couldn't hear how hard they were screaming for him to touch her. He was holding back, she must seem like such an innocent to him. Of course she was, but that didn't mean that she knew nothing about what to do, or what she wanted to do.

As he pulled her shirt up and off he looked into her eyes again. She was past nervous now, now she wanted him, and that was _all_ she wanted. He leant in to kiss her again and unhooked her finger from his pants line and slid her hand down to cup him from outside his jeans. She felt his body tense and pressed down with the palm of her hand. She could feel the heat just radiating from that part of him and she continued to rub his jeans.

His hand reached down and grabbed her wrist, pulling her arm away. She was about to protest when his hands slid down her back and took hold of her ass to pull her into him as he gently thrust against her.

He began pushing her back until the backs of her legs were pinned to the side of the bed. She put her hands on his chest and pushed him back. He looked confused but bit his lip when he saw that her hands were reaching for the buckle of his jeans. Her hands weren't shaking anymore and his buttons released easily, his zipper followed. He finished the job for her by slipping them over his hips and down his legs, kicking them away.

She looked at his body as he stood in front of her, his taught and toned body no longer hidden and an oversized bulge in his blue boxer-briefs.

It didnt take much longer for things to move a lot further and she soon found herself pinned to the bed, her body aching for him. He didn't disappoint and she almost didn't know how to react to his touch, other than to cry out with pleasure.

It didn't take him long to push her over the edge and she found herself drowning in ecstasy.

Every inch of her body was tingling and she felt better than she even thought possible. Draco climbed up and laid himself next to her, resting his hand on her stomach. She reached down to touch him but he took her hand and placed it on his cheek.

"Just hold me." He whispered.

She kissed his forehead and they tangled their legs together on the bed. She stroked his side as he closed his eyes and nuzzled into her shoulder.

She was wrong, this moment felt more perfect than anything.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning they had agreed to meet out by the fence near the shrieking shack. Hermione was there first, exactly ten minutes before eleven. She may have been early but she was so keen to see him. She loved how special he made her feel. She loved the way he smiled when she put her hand in his. She never did see him smile before everything happened. He always had that same pained expression of a man trapped. His sharp features somehow becoming softer and his pale face gaining colour with every day. Her cheeks flushed and she smiled to herself thinking that she could be the reason.

She heard footsteps crunching in the snow and turned to see him walking towards her, his hands in his pockets and a small smile on his face that said 'I miss you'. He took two quick steps and wrapped his arms around her, spinning her in his arms. When their worlds stopped spinning he pressed his lips against hers and she felt the world slip away.

She was so very happy.

"I missed you." He whispered, his breath caressing her cheeks.

"I know, but people are coming back to school now." She sighed.

He brushed her cheek with his thumb and looked into her eyes. "We always have the Room of Requirement, we could use it as a place to be together, and we might not get to see each other any other time." She could tell that it made him sad to think that they might hardly see one another when classes resume.

"Well, I can't fall behind." She saw the pain in his eyes and sped up her train of thought, "but maybe if we use the room three nights a week I could get my studies done and still be with you."

"Of course, whenever you like, how will I know when we're going to meet?"

"I'll send a note; I'll enchant it so that no one but you can open it."

"In that case will you write things that you wouldn't want to say to anyone else?" He raised an eyebrow and kissed her cheek.

"No, I will tell you what time to meet me and nothing else, in case someone does get into it."

"So nothing along the lines of you're such a handsome and charming young man?" he gave a little smirk, she was learning to love that smirk.

She gave a small laugh. "No."

"Keep laughing, I love it when you laugh." She couldn't help but giggle and blush when he said things like that to her.

"I uh, I think I should tell you that Harry and Ronald get back tomorrow…" She felt his arms tighten around her.

"Oh…"

"I won't be able to see you."

"I see." His jaw clenched and she felt her heartbeat get faster.

"I'm sorry! They are my friends, I've missed them." He let go of her and put his hands back in his pockets. "Draco I-"

"No, I get it. You _need_ to see Potter and _Weasley_." The way he spat Ron's name made her think for a moment.

Maybe this was all just a form of jealousy.

"Just to catch up, it's been over two weeks."

"I suppose you just can't wait to see them."

She ignored his temper and tried to move past the rut in the conversation. "I have missed them, but I thought we could-"

"It's fine, Pansy should be arriving any day now so maybe I'll just go and welcome her back." He gave her another smirk, but this one was different.

This one was cold and cruel; this one was meant to hurt her.

"Draco… they're my friends, you know that I don't feel the way about them that I feel about you."

He was breathing heavily now, clearly anxious and what was probably more self-doubt than anything else. A history of self-pity and hatred will do that to someone.

Draco couldn't understand, he didn't want to feel this way or snap at her like this, but he felt like something was constricting his throat, like someone was whispering into his ear that she didn't want to be with him and that she just needed to get rid of him, quickly.

"Embarrassed of me are you?" He said spitefully.

He barely even realised that he was speaking, it was an instant reaction for him to defend himself now.

"Of course not! You know how they would react and I don't want to cause a big fuss! And weren't you the one who couldn't have any of the Slytherins know about us?" She was getting riled now.

"Us? This isn't anything, this is nothing." He said it so flatly and devoid of emotion that she was taken aback.

"Draco…"

He turned away from her and started stomping back through the snow to the castle, already knowing that he had made a big mistake.


	11. Chapter 11

Hermione just stood there in the snow, watching him walk away. She saw him run a hand through his hair and ball up his fists. He really was tormented. She felt a tear trickle down her cheeks, rosy from the chill. Even if he was twisted and tortured inside how could he say something so horrible? He should at least try to change; he does want to change, doesn't he? Everything was running through her mind and she didn't know what to think, she just stared at him hoping he would turn around and apologise. She stared until his figure disappeared behind the curtain of snow.

"Damn you Draco…" She let out a sob and trudged back to the castle, her damp feet growing colder with each step.

She couldn't take it personally, he has been moulded into this person his whole life, the last few years in particular. Still, it doesn't mean that it hurts any less. She wiped her eyes and when she reached the common room she curled up in front of the fire and sobbed.

He had called her a mudblood, pathetic, he had spent nights with Pansy and let her talk down to her, and yet she couldn't get him out of her mind. She wanted to comfort him even though he was the one doing the stomping.

She couldn't let what he said get to her. She took out a piece of parchment and scribbled her note before placing the enchantments on it and sending it flying out through the portrait of the fat lady.

Draco was pacing the dormitory now, too many emotions in his body to count. He was angry at her; angry because she wanted to see them. He hated them, maybe it was because they had an actual bond with one another while Crabbe hadn't even bothered to speak to him since the end of last year, when he left Hogwarts to do… he didn't even know. And Goyle… obviously Draco was upset about his death, but more about the fact that he had known him for seven years than the fact that he was his friend.

Draco didn't have friends like Harry, Ron and Hermione. There was never intimacy, or much loyalty, when it came down to it they were 'save your own skin before the other' kind of "friends". Deep down he did long for someone to be himself with, someone to just… _be_ with and not have motives.

He hated picturing the three of them in the common room, sitting by the red and gold fire just laughing and joking with one another. He hated it. He hated even more imagining Hermione feel the way he did with her when she was with someone else. He wasn't special, he wasn't anything new, and he was just another one to add to her collection.

He wasn't special to her, she felt like that all the time.

He headed down to the fire and began pacing in front of it. He must have been pacing for at least five minutes when a little flying piece of parchment began throwing itself at his face and no matter how much he batted it away it wouldn't stop until he grabbed it in his hand.

He unfurled the yellowing paper and read the short note; _7:30_. That was it, just a time. He knew what it meant and he held it tightly for a few seconds before throwing it into the fire and watching it burn from the outside in.

Hermione sat in the room of requirement on a velvety red couch. The was a fireplace on one side of the room and a large bed with warm blankets and glasses of pumpkin juice that she had pilfered from the great hall sitting on a bedside table. The walls were decorated with bouquets of roses.

She looked down at her pocket watch. It was nearly twenty past eight. Surely he was just held up; he didn't mean what he said.

_Of course not, he just needs time_, she told herself. Minutes passed and she tested out her patronus, and then her transfiguration, and then her charms. Minutes turned into another hour. It wasn't long before she found it hard to conjure her patronus.

He wasn't going to show up.

As she left the room she tried to pick herself up. It would never have worked anyway, they were just too different.

But they had something, didn't they? She thought about seeing her friends tomorrow but somehow nothing would cheer her up at this point. She felt something with him, different, special… and it turns out it was just a little nothing. He said it didn't he? It was nothing.

She couldn't help but let the tears flow as she tried to fall asleep.

It was so much more than nothing to her.

"Hermione!" Harry called out to her when he saw her standing on the platform.

"Harry!" She ran over to him and gave wrapped her arms around him.

It almost made her want to cry, but she told herself that she wouldn't cry over Draco today. He made himself very clear. They were nothing. They were nothing.

She had been repeating that to herself over and over in her head trying to make herself realise that what she thought was something so special was really just her imagination running wild. Maybe it was more than that, but she couldn't fight him anymore.

She couldn't keep letting him hurt her the way he did. He needed someone to get him through everything, but for now it couldn't be her.

She let him go and grinned, a tear rolling from her eye.

"Are you alright Hermione?" He brushed away the tear with his glove and cocked his head questioningly.

"Sorry! I've just been on my own for so long, I missed you."

"We missed you to Hermione."

She gave him another hug and he rested his head on hers.

"You better not get too close to him, George was testing out some new candies on him back at the burrow." Ginny walked around to give Hermione a quick hug before linking arms with Harry.

"He's working on new things?"

"Oh yes, the last was a tribute to Fred, Fred's Firework Farts. It made for an interesting Christmas Eve." She smiled lightly.

At least George was finally moving on and doing what Fred would have wanted; making some kind of horrid candy to cause a riot.

"He definitely needs to work on those some more." Ron startled Hermione as he walked up beside her.

"Hi Ronald." She said, it was still slightly awkward.

Even more so if he'd known about Draco.

_Draco._

He gave her a small smile.

"Oh for goodness sake, are the two of you going to do this forever?" Said Ginny.

Hermione laughed and shook her head, trying to avoid the subject. Her smile faded fast though and Ginny raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

They headed back to the common room and Hermione stole a glance towards the staircase that lead down to the dungeons.

"…So that's how we ended up smashing every single dish in the kitchen." Harry finished his story as they walked through the Fat-Lady's portrait into the common room.

"I think George should just stick to puking pastilles." Hermione laughed.

"I can't believe classes start again in less than a week." Ron sighed as he slumped into his favourite armchair. "It's like we never left."

"I can't believe we only have less than a year until we actually have to work for a living." Harry sat next to Ginny on the old couch and sighed.

"I can't believe that we're standing here." Hermione stared into the flames of the fire and the others looked up at her.

After a while of reflection they started talking more about their breaks. Clearly they all had fun down at the burrow but what would Hermione say? 'I was fraternising with the enemy'? No.

"I can't believe you just stayed here studying the whole time." Harry laughed.

"You really are mad Hermione." Ron was slowly starting to act like himself around her. It usually took an hour or so, and then it went back to awkward when they saw each other again.

"No, I can't believe it either." Ginny raised an eyebrow, this time making sure that Hermione saw it.

"I just want to make sure I get the best marks that I possibly can." She shrugged and tried her hardest to get the memories of Draco's lips out of her mind.

The boys eventually headed up to their dormitories for a while before dinner and Ginny waited until she heard their door shut before she began questioning Hermione.

"So what really happened on the break?"

"What? Nothing. I honestly have no idea what you're talking about." Hermione shrugged and began staring out the window.

"You have been so distracted ever since we got back and you don't even have a drop of ink on your hands. Not even a smudge. It's a guy isn't it?"

Hermione squirmed in her seat and bit down on her lip.

"It is!" Ginny squealed.

"Ginny! Shush." Hermione's cheeks were flushed and she just wanted to forget.

"Oh come on, I won't tell anyone! Who is he?"

"Ginny! He's nothing- _It's_ nothing, okay?"

"You don't have to worry about Ron, he was _pretty_ friendly with someone over the break, you two can stop being awkward and move on already!"

Well Ron managed to find someone who wasn't completely damaged…

"Ginny, stop, you don't understand. Yes there was… _a guy_, but it ended badly. It's no good. It's all done now and I'm just trying to forget."

Ginny sighed. "Sorry Hermione, I wish it had been better. Do I know the guy?"

She thought for a moment. "Yeah, you do."

Draco stood with his arms folded on the platform as he waited for the train to pull into the station. He would have to see Pansy at some point. That time was now.

He couldn't even think about… her. He didn't want to remember how happy he was for what seemed like five minutes. He wouldn't let himself have that luxury.

The train pulled in with a great screech and he stood like a statue just staring through the mist, waiting for Pansy to show up.


	12. Chapter 12

He caught sight of her greasy dark hair and pug face as she walked arrogantly off the train. She squinted slightly, not a very attractive look, he thought. She looked straight at him and he gave a small gesture that could have been seen as a wave. It was more of an acknowledgement that he was there. Her lips curled into a smiled and he was about to make a smart remark when she had her wand pointed at him.

"Apugno!" She said in a sugary sweet voice.

Without warning he was being assaulted by three tiny but vicious birds. He covered his face and cowered but he could still feel them nipping at his skin and blood trickle down his cheeks from where they caught him. He yelled out in pain and felt himself being beaten to the very last of his will, there wasn't much more he could stand. Would it ever end? A better question is how much more can he take. His cries soon turned to whimpers as he cowered by a wall and waited for the assault to finish.

Soon enough he heard the birds flutter away. He looked up to see Pansy and the first thing he saw was her fist.

She was small, but she sure was violent. His whole face ached in pain and he was in no mood to fight. He was defeated.

"You know what that was for. Next time you better meet me on the train." She grabbed his sleeve and pulled him up.

"Next time I won't meet you at the platform." He hissed.

She snorted. "At least you learnt your lesson."

"Did you have a good Christmas?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"I gained four pounds and had to spend it without my father or uncles. It was a hoot." She shoved a bag at him and he snatched it from her. "You're lucky your father's a coward or else he'd be stuck in the same place."

Draco looked down at his scuffling feet and ignored her. _He wasn't a coward_, he wanted to say. He was so torn between defending him, which he had no desire to do, and defending his choice, which was something Draco would never have done alone.

Eventually they made their way to the castle and he carried her things down to the dungeons. He dropped them at the foot of the stairs before her dormitory.

"Aren't you going to bring them up?" He made a grunting sound and carried them up to dump them by the foot of her bed before pushing past her and back down to the stone fireplace.

It was so different in this common room to the Gryffindor's. He had never realised before just how cold and bland the Slytherin rooms were until he… until her…

He realised that he was clenching his fists and squeezing his eyes shut so tightly that he hoped it would keep out all of his memories.

He had to keep reminding himself of the reason that he was alone. It was because she had people, she was someone and he wasn't worthy of someone like her. The things he did… he deserved someone like Pansy. Someone who punished him when he defied them or hurt them rather than trying to console him. Why did she do that? The amount of times that he was rude or arrogant, or cruel… She held him like it was she who had inflicted the wounds.

That wasn't what Draco thought about when she crossed his mind. He wished things were different. There was no room for him with her. He missed the way she brushed his hair out of his face and the way she looked up at him from under her eyelashes, like he made her unsure, like he made her feel the same way that he did.

He looked out of the window to see that it was growing dark outside. He headed out of the dungeons before Pansy could come looking for him and walked up to the fifth floor. As he opened the door to the prefect's bathroom he half expected her to be in there.

Even if she had been he would have let her be. He needed her to forget him. He wasn't good enough for her. He knew it and those friends of hers surely did too.

As he stripped down and flicked his wand for the taps he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. Dried specks of blood and small grazes were scattered over his face and his eye was looking purple and swelling up on the left side. He took a good hard look with a grey expression on his sombre face. _I deserve this_.

He slipped into the bath and splashed his face. The hot soapy water stung his fresh cuts but he continued until his face was just numb. His whole body was numb.

There was a late dinner in the castle that night, to accommodate the arrivals on the last train in. Hermione was brushing through her hair before heading down to meet the others. She didn't tell Ginny who she had been spending her time with.

She knew that Ginny would just tell Harry and then there would be a real problem. The only person who really knew was Luna. She wasn't even sure how Luna always seemed to know the truth behind things, but she did.

Hermione walked down to the common room, her mind on anything but that boy who she would probably never understand.

"Sorry if I took a long time." She said as she descended the stairs.

"Oh it's fine, Ron's still up putting his face on." Ginny said almost impatiently.

"What?"

"She's just being rude. She means that he's taking his precious time." Harry said.

"Calm down, I'm right here." Ron ran downstairs and they made their way to the Great Hall.

"I tell you, if there's one thing I've missed it's been-"

"The food? We know Ron." Ginny cut him off as he reached for at least three drumsticks.

"Since when was she allowed to sit with us?" He said with a mouthful of chicken.

"I might just go and say hello to Luna, I haven't seen her since we got back." Ginny gave Harry a fleeting kiss from across the table and made her way to the Ravenclaws.

Hermione looked at Harry to her right, staring at her like she was all he could think about. She was happy for him, he deserved it after everything.

Harry threw something over at Ron. "You know the food will still be here in an hour." He teased.

"I figure I should make the most of the feasts while I'm still here." He grinned, chicken and all.

They ate silently for a few minutes before Harry spoke up.

"Hey guys, take a look at Malfoy." Hermione's head shot up too quickly and looked over to where Harry was pointing.

Ron turned as well so that the three of them were now staring. Hermione let out a small gasp. His face… Pansy flitted about happily by his side as they headed to their seats. _She must have done that to him_, Hermione thought.

"Blimey, he obviously rubbed someone the wrong way." Ron mumbled.

"That doesn't narrow it down much." Harry said quietly.

Draco sent a glare their way and they turned around and back to their food. Hermione met his eyes and even from across the room she could see the sadness in them. He looked away and she felt the tears sting the back of her eyes.

She managed to hold them back and knew that must be a good thing. She was getting stronger. Moving on from the past.

He couldn't be in her future.


	13. Chapter 13

Hermione didn't see Draco again until classes started. Even then it was only from across the room. She tried not to look over at him but it was almost impossible not to. She wanted to know why he hadn't been in the Great Hall for meals, why she hadn't bumped into him around the castle; everything.

She may have been weak in the way of thinking about him but she was much stronger when it came to talking to him. She didn't feel an urge to ask him about all of those things, or even how he was going. The longer she resisted talking to him, the easier it became to endure it.

It was just a moment of weakness. He was an attractive guy and he intrigued her. She wanted to understand, to help him get rid of some of that baggage. After the first night back in class she had so many things running through her mind that she needed to get them out. She needed closure.

She took out a spare piece of parchment and a quill and began staring at the page. It wasn't long before her thoughts started to spill out.

_What do I really know about him? I know that he's been through a lot, probably more than I have. I know he has a tenuous relationship with his father, with both of his parents really. He's damaged, he's in pain, but he can't shake off that cruel act, no matter how much I try to help him. I know he can't help it and that wounds like that don't heal overnight. Some of us are only just pulling ourselves together. He may have made me feel good but he also brought me to a place that I thought I had moved past. It was a moment of weakness and I need to focus on my studies. There is no place for him anymore. I thought there was but I can't make myself feel this way. I-_

Her quill skidded across the page as Ginny sat down by her side.

"What are you working on?" She asked with a smile.

"Oh nothing, just an essay for my ancient runes class." She lied.

"Sorry if I'm bothering you, I can go if you like." Hermione sensed there was something that she wanted to talk about.

"No, you can stay. What's going on?"

"I just thought that maybe you didn't want to talk to me about some things because of the whole you and Ron thing. Just because he's my brother doesn't mean that I'm going to talk to him, about anything. He's gross and really quite annoying." Hermione let out a small chuckle.

"That's not it at all. I just have a few things on my mind that I'm trying to sort out. If I had something worth talking about I would tell you. Honestly I would." She smiled and Ginny seemed satisfied.

The problem was that _she_ wasn't. They had a fight and suddenly that was it. There was only one person she could talk to.

"Sorry Ginny, I just remembered a book I was going to look for in the library." Ginny looked a little disappointed. "Tomorrow night would you mind telling me about Christmas at your house? Properly, I feel like I missed out a little. You and Harry seem to be back to before."

"I'd be glad to." She was happier to see Hermione leave after that.

Hermione raced from the common room and towards the east wing hallway. She looked up and down the corridors before heading down to the grounds. She wandered part way around the castle until she saw that familiar blonde hair, sitting down by the lake.

"Luna!" She called[RM1] .

Luna turned and gave Hermione a delicate smile as she put down her book.

"Hermione, how lovely it is to see you this afternoon." There has always been something different about Luna.

She wouldn't dare call her 'Loony-Lovegood' as she once had, Luna was anything but loony. She seemed to have more answers than almost anyone else Hermione knew. Maybe it was because she only ever wanted to do what was right, not what was supposed to be done.

She really respected Luna for that.

"H-how are you?" She sat down next to her, the seat really quite cold in the frosty late-afternoon air.

"Quite alright, Neville will be here shortly, we're taking a walk by the lake. He loves telling me all about the different plants and such. It's rather adorable really."

Hermione smiled. They were an odd pairing but in the same way they were perfect for each other.

"Things are going well between you then?"

"Oh yes, Neville's a sweet heart. He gets so nervous sometimes. I have to give him a big old kiss on the nose before he blushes and snaps out of it." Her cheeks flushed lightly.

"Do you ever, I mean, I don't mean to pry…"

"Please, I really don't mind. I have no secrets from you Hermione."

That just made her feel a little guilty. "Do you fight at all?"

"Sometimes, but just about silly little things. Like when I notice he's upset and he refuses to tell me what's wrong. Probably because it was something to do with me but he's too much of a sweet heart to tell me."

"He's been through a lot though."

"Yes."

"Does he… react to that?"

"Hermione?"

"Um, yes?"

"We can talk about Draco if you like." Hermione froze, more so than she already was.

"Wh-what?"

"I won't pretend that I can't see what's going on. I knew back before Christmas when I told you about that old bracelet."

"He still wears that you know."

Luna gave a sly smile. "I know. I know a lot of things about Draco that you wouldn't expect."

Hermione looked over at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

Luna's mouth curled gently into a smile. "It was back in fifth year when we first really had the chance to talk."

**_Luna_**

It was in the middle of my fifth year when I really noticed Draco's troubles. The way he had to stop in hallways to steady his breath and his longing looks towards those obliviously ignorant people made it very clear. Of course I didn't start as knowing why. No one knew why. Not really.

The first night I saw him really showing any of his real pain was one stormy night in the summer. Most of the castle was asleep but I was out looking for my shoes. Some of the seventh years had enchanted them to roam around the halls. I heard a crying sort of sound and I thought I had better see what it was.

He was just sitting there, sobbing. That was when I went back to get that bracelet. He was still there when I got back. I put it right beside him and he looked up at me. He was terrified, his eyes were almost pleading and for a moment we just stared at one another. We weren't enemy and we certainly weren't friend, but we were two people colliding at high speed.

He got away as fast as he could, but he took my bracelet. I felt a lot better knowing that he didn't reject an act of kindness. It was two days later when I got a real shock. I was sitting by the lake, it was rather warm, I only had a light sweater. I looked up from my book and I saw him walking over.

His shirt was scraggly and he wasn't wearing his tie and he kept looking back and forth to see if anyone was watching him. I pretended that I was still reading when he cleared his throat.

"About the other day… I… I mean…"

I looked up but I didn't say anything to him, not yet. I wanted to see if he could do it.

"I was just having a… bad day and uh… I just wanted to…" He looked so awkward.

He held up his arm and the bracelet fell out of his sleeve. He pointed to it and gave me a shrug.

"It's okay Draco. I know what you're trying to say. You don't have to." I said softly.

He avoided my eyes and shuffled his feet a little. "Why did you?"

"You looked like you could have a used some comfort."

"I don't need comfort." He said gruffly.

"I know you must be dealing with things that no one can understand."

He didn't respond, he just gave me a quick look and turned back to his feet. "I'm just like anyone else."

"So am I. But when I little I watched my mother get killed by one of her own spells. It was quite traumatic. Lots of people don't really understand. It's not like I go around telling people."

"You just told me."

"I know, I feel like you deserved to hear it. I saw you in a moment of weakness so it's only fair."

He looked up at me and I don't think he fully understood what I was doing for him. He looked up and saw some Slytherins looking over suspiciously.

"You can just walk away if you like. They wouldn't like it if you were here talking to me." He gave a tiny shrug and turned on his heel to leave.

I didn't think much of it after that. Not until he came to see me again.

I was taking a walk in the forest and I heard someone walking behind me. I didn't turn around; if they were dangerous they would have attacked me by then.

"Do you always walk through the forbidden forest alone? Doesn't seem like the brightest of ideas." It was clearly Draco.

I turned to see him walking along and trying to look casual with his hands in his pockets.

"Probably not but people don't seem to take much notice of me." I said as I looked at the light coming through the trees.

"So you walk around the castle at night, you wander through the forest alone and you sit by the lake all day reading. Why don't you just hang around with your friends…like a normal person?" Something about that last part made me think that he wasn't really talking about me.

"I like it out here. I happen to like being by myself." I turned to give him a smile. "The trees are friend enough for me." I took a seat on a fallen log and he stood a few metres back.

"Do you have any real ones?" He gave me a smirk and nodded a little.

"Not really, do you?" He narrowed his eyes and the smirk fell from his face.

"Of course I do. Don't you see all the people I spend my time with?"

"Yes, but they aren't really your friends. If they were wouldn't you be with them rather than here with me? You're lonely." His lip twitched and he didn't say all too much.

I gave him a smile and he walked a little closer and leant against a tree. "Why did you do it?"

"I've already told you. It looked like you could use someone real." I stood up and watched as his brow furrowed.

I walked closer to him but when I got about a foot away he glared up at me and I stopped. "I won't come any closer. As I see it you probably want to be here but you don't want me to me. You don't like me."

"You don't like me."

"Why wouldn't I like you?"

"Why would you?"

"Now you're not really asking any questions, just turning my questions back on me."

"Fine, well for starters I'm not on your side." I could see his chest starting to rise and fall more rapidly and I knew he was getting angry. "You spend the time you're not alone with Potter, and the rest of them." There was something about the way he said that last part that made me wonder.

"I don't think any of that matters out here." I looked around at the trees. They stood so high above our heads. "And I think our sides are closer than you'd care to admit."

The look in his glassy eyes said that I was probably right. He broke our contact and walked back the way we had come.

We had a few more brief encounters over the next few weeks. One in particular stood out.

I saw him sitting in an empty corner of the library. He was white as a ghost and one of his hands was tangled in his hair. He just stared blankly ahead. I walked over to him and sat beside him. He barely acknowledged my presence.

"Things will look up." I said.

All I did was sit with him. I think we were there for an hour. It must have been something to do with his task. He barely even moved.

I saw one tear fall from his eye, but that was all.

"We should get going, dinner will be served shortly." I looked up at him and he looked at me with perhaps the saddest eyes I'd ever seen.

I worry that something broke him back then. There must have been a moment where he just gave up on an alternative and it became impossible to block anything out.

"You can change your future you know, any time you like." I leaned over to kiss him on the forehead.

He felt so cold. I was right about him being lonely. As I pulled away from him he tilted his head up and caught my lips with his. I didn't pull away from him; I think he needed to know that someone was here with him.

For once someone was on his side.

When he broke our embrace I smiled. "Next time you do that it should be with the person you really want to do it with. That person is not me. It's not Pansy Parkinson either." He looked so confused.

"I know more about people than they think. Being alone has its upside. I've seen you looking at her when you don't think she's looking." If I were to accurately describe his expression it would probably be horror. "Oh don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I just think that you shouldn't count anything out." I pecked his lips with mine. "I should probably thank you too; no one's ever thought to do that before, even if they could see someone else in my eyes."

I started walking out of the library to give him something to think about. I had hoped I could give him at least a little bit of hope.


	14. Chapter 14

Hermione was stunned by Luna's story. Not to mention a little jealous. Draco had been Luna's first kiss, it was so surreal.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't mention any of that to Neville; I don't think he would like it." She said sweetly.

"I don't think anyone would like it. The same way they would if they knew about… if they knew about him and me." She sighed.

"People need to move past everything. It was a war, and it happened, but it's over now. Former supporters of You-Know-Who live next door to people who fought for our side. I think you'll find that a lot of people did what they did out of fear."

Hermione knew she was right. The regret that Draco must be feeling was so clear in his eyes. He must feel so alone, especially now.

"I don't know what to do, he was just so angry, and now he won't even look at me."

"You need to give him another chance. I know how hard it must be and if he lets you down again you'll have to let it go. No one would expect you to wait for his wounds to heal. I don't think they ever will." Luna was right but Hermione wasn't sure.

It was hard enough to watch him as it was. How would she ever move past this if she kept feeling like she should let him into her life?

"I need to make sure there's nothing left, don't I?" Luna nodded. "Thank you, I just feel lost at the moment.

"Oh, hey Hermione." The two of them turned around to look up at Neville. "I'm not interrupting am I?"

"No, of course not, I'm the one intruding. I was just leaving. Thanks again Luna." She stood up and gave them both a smile before heading back to the castle. She had a lot to think about.

The days had gone by so slowly but Draco had not been moving forward. If anything he was falling back to where he was before.

He tried not to think about her. He made a conscious effort not to look at her or even sit near her in the classes they shared. He tried not to let the disgust show on his face when he saw her with _them_, and he didn't want to think about how if it came down to it, she would _choose_ them over him. He knew that was how it would go.

He couldn't bear to think about her anymore.

He had been so cruel to her, cruel enough that she wouldn't come back to him.

Pansy on the other hand was never going to let him forget about leaving her alone on the train. As if the birds weren't enough, she constantly spat her words at him and cut him down to make sure he knew that he was in the wrong. He should have just gone with her. None of this would have happened and he wouldn't have those memories in his head that hurt him so much.

As they headed down for breakfast in the morning he took a quick glance over at the Gryffindors. Potter was next to the female Weasley, and _she_ was next to the other one. He felt the anger rising in his body. Well, what he thought was anger. Envy had a way of presenting as other emotions.

"Draco! Come _on_!" Pansy hissed as she patted the seat next to her.

He glared at the back of her head as he sat down.

He wasn't hungry. How could he eat? His face had grown slightly gaunter and his skin was somehow paler.

He grabbed a piece of toast and took a bite of it as it was, not even a smear of butter. It was horrible, dry and bland. Exactly the way he felt.

The owls screeched as the mail run began. He took no notice. Just as he had taken another bite of his toast a small envelope dropped in front of him. He eyed it suspiciously.

"Don't tell me _you've_ got mail?" Pansy looked just about as surprised as he was and seemed eager to see what it was.

She always did like her nose in everything.

He slowly opened the envelope and took out a small piece of parchment. Almost as soon as he read the words they were gone.

_Lumos Viola_.

"Who's it from?" Pansy asked, almost in a demanding way.

"I don't know." He lied.

"Show me!" She snatched the paper from him and frantically searched it.

"It was blank when I got it so don't expect it to change." He said through gritted teeth.

"When I found out who sent this I'll hex them until their face is backwards." She snarled and Draco rolled his eyes.

"Well clearly you won't, it's a blank sheet of parchment." He snatched it back and crumpled it in his hand.

He let her think that he just threw it to the ground but he slipped it into his pocket. His eyes looked up slowly to see her trying to look anywhere but over at him. Her eyes darted up in his direction but he was the one to turn away.

He didn't get a moment alone until after all his classes. He went straight up to his dormitory and sat on his bed. He could see the name of the spell clearly in his mind and he took out his wand. The parchment was crumpled but still in one piece so he flattened it and touched the tip of his want to it.

"_Lumos Viola_." He whispered.

The words spread out over the page, writing themselves.

_I know this isn't what you want Draco, so please, don't ignore this._

_7:30._

He knew what it meant, of course he knew. The words faded into the page again and he crumpled up the note and threw it to the floor. He had to think, but wasn't the answer obvious?

Hermione knew what this meant. She knew that if he didn't show up there was no hope. He was too far gone and she couldn't save him. Who said he even wanted to be saved? She felt like she knew the answer to that one.

She reached the room of requirement at twenty-past seven and sat down by the warm fireplace. She still had ten minutes, at least.

She stared ahead at the door for a long time. She didn't look away; she didn't even check the time. It was an hour later when the tears spilled from her eyes.

This was it then. She saw him get the note, he obviously knew it was from her and he still chose to ignore it. She lay herself down on the couch and let out a sob.

Tomorrow she would not let herself feel like this. Tomorrow she would put it behind her and focus on her studies and her friends. Tonight she would cry out all the hurt she felt inside and try to forget the way she felt in his arms.

Two weeks had passed since Hermione sent her message to Draco. As she became stronger in his absence, Draco became weaker, easier for Pansy to manipulate. He still stole glances over at the Gryffindor table but she had stopped looking back at him. He watched as she laughed with her friends and began to smile as she sat in class with a book.

She was forgetting about him. He really was just another bump in the road.

The more deeply sad he felt at losing her, the more he couldn't stand to be around Pansy. One night in particular he just couldn't deal with her anymore.

She walked into the common room where Draco was sitting alone and sat on his lap.

"Everyone else is gone; I say you and I have a little fun." She grinned smugly and started to kiss his jaw.

"I can't." He pulled away from her and she grabbed his chin in her hand.

"What do you mean, '_you can't'_?" She demanded.

"I mean that even I wanted to, which I don't, _you_ aren't going to get any reaction from me." He growled.

"And why not?"

"Because I've had enough of this, enough of you, so _get off me_!" He shoved her and she jumped back, but not before slapping him around the face.

"You better have a better attitude in the morning you useless _wretch_!" She stormed off to her dormitory and left Draco seething on the couch.

He didn't sleep much that night, barely even a wink. He climbed out of bed early and decided to take a walk around the castle. After an hour of solid pacing through the stone walls he moved on to the grounds, his breath visible in the chilly morning air.

"You stop right there Draco Malfoy!" He was half-way around the lake when the timid but forceful voice from behind him came out of nowhere.

He knew who it was; it was a very distinctive voice.

He turned slowly to see Luna Lovegood staring at him with a mildly angry look on her face. She was never _really_ angry.

"What?" He said solemnly.

"I can't believe you would walk away the way you did."

"I'm just taking a walk."

"You know perfectly well what I mean! You made the wrong choice Draco."

"I have no idea what you mean."

"Oh I see. You're still pretending you don't love her." She said.

He looked away. "I have no idea what you're-"

"Don't lie to me Draco! I know the way you feel about her! I could say it out loud before you could admit it to yourself." He closed his eyes tightly and tried not to think about all the times he said something to Luna about her.

About how she didn't even know how perfect she really was, about how clever she was, about how entrancingly beautiful she is and how he couldn't help but look at her when she came into a room.

"I thought… I thought I could just get her out of my system… I thought that maybe if I did all the things I wanted with her I could just forget about her…" He said through his laboured breaths.

"I'm willing to bet that you didn't realise all of the things that you actually wanted."

"She wouldn't choose me. She would choose them over me… someone like her could never be with someone like me…"

"You're perfect for each other…" She said softly and he grimaced.

"She could never… love me. How could anyone love a monster?"

Luna's heart went out to him, never once had he been more open than when he was talking about her.

"You were cruel to her, you pushed her away and kept coming back until one day you didn't. She comforted you, even when you were giving her scars. And she talked to me about you…" Draco looked over at her from the corner of his eye. "I think you make her feel exactly the same way that you do. She did send you those messages after all."

He thought about it for a moment.

"I know how much it hurts but she really does care about you, why else would she try so hard to avoid you when you don't want to be around her?"

He should have seen it sooner, she didn't seek him out because she pitied him or because she wanted to fix him; she sought him because she needed him too.

"I don't think you're too late, you'll just have to work a bit harder, that's all."

How could she ever forgive him for being so cold? _What have I done_?


	15. Chapter 15

"She'll never talk to me; I ignored her all this time." Draco sat on an old log in the forest with his head in his hands. "What have I done?"

"Stop worrying about what you've done and start thinking about what you're going to do." Luna sat by his side and looked over at him.

"She doesn't even look at me anymore." He felt his anger rising inside him.

He hated himself for the things that he has done.

"You're so self-destructive Draco." She said softly. "You need to have more faith in yourself."

"How can I? I'm nothing." He gritted his teeth.

"Hermione doesn't think so. She tried so hard to get you back because you were something to her. I don't think you're nothing either. You're just guilty."

"Of course I am!" He hissed. "You've seen it, there is no way to get rid of it, you all made sure of that… You all say you want to move on but you make _sure _that you know who you can't trust." He felt so angry.

His Dark Mark was still burned into his arm from when his father gave it to him all those years ago. They had a process to remove it but no one ever really got rid of the mark. Draco knew why. It was so they could always remember who was on the wrong side, they always had someone to blame. He never even wanted it.

He never wanted his job or the mark, but who was to know that? Who would even ask?

"I know you never wanted any of this, Hermione knows too."

"What am I going to do?"

"I don't know." She shrugged.

He looked over at her and raised his eyebrows. "I thought you were going to help."

"I think you've had enough of people telling you what to." They looked at each other for a moment before he turned away. "Just tell me what you need me to do."

"What?"

"I'll help you Draco. Let me know if you need something, but right now I have to go and meet Neville." She heard him scoff and mumble something like 'Longbottom' under his breath. "Don't be an arse Draco; you're more like him than you know." She left him with a smile and skipped away.

She bewildered him sometimes, the way she could just make the best of every situation. Draco always seemed to make the worst of them. He must have been sitting there for hours before he thought of something he could possibly do to win her back.

Hermione had thrust herself right back into her studies since she decided to move on. She was heading to the library after her classes to catch up on some study for her ancient runes class; she really had let herself slip.

She walked with Harry as he was heading down to meet Ginny before they left for the common room.

"The two of you seem to be back to the way you were." She said as she hitched up her bag of books to return.

"I guess we just realised that we shouldn't take for granted everything that's happened." He smiled as he thought about it all.

"Well don't tell me too much, I promised Ginny she could tell me the full story." Harry laughed and Hermione could see that he was thinking about her.

He was always thinking about her now. It's not like he had to worry about anything other than passing his final year exams.

"So I suppose you and Ron are well and truly done then?"

"I don't think we were right for each other. Besides, was anyone ever going to tell me about this girl from Christmas?" Harry looked a little guilty.

"I… didn't know that you knew about that."

"Honestly Harry I don't mind, he's my friend, and we're slowly getting back to normal." _Normal_, now that seemed like a strange concept.

"I'll see you later, in the common room." He pointed in the direction he was headed and she turned the corner with a parting smile.

As she returned her old books and went to find some more useful ones she eyed a quiet corner where she could study in peace. Keeping herself busy was working well to distract her from other things and she had stopped feeling that pang in the pit of her stomach whenever she thought of him.

They made their choices and it was finally done. They could never have worked anyway. They were more than just star-crossed.

Her fingers gently traced the dusty spines and she had a sense of déjà vu from that day in the library when everything began. She poked her head around the corner and saw the phantoms of her memories pressed up against the bookcase. As she stepped around the next set of shelves she stopped when she saw him standing there looking up at the books just as she had been doing moments earlier.

She froze for a moment and as he turned to look up at her she spun back to the edge of the bookshelf and hid herself. She was sure that he had seen her.

She started walking quickly to the other side of the library, back to where her quiet study table was. Wait, she thought, I'd be alone back there.

She walked through the main centre of the library and sighed shakily as she slowed down and pretended to look at the herbology books. Surprisingly it did distract her from her thoughts as she started thinking that Neville has probably read all of these at least once or twice.

"Hermione?" She was well and truly frozen now.

Her eyes darted side to side and saw a few faces look up curiously. There was no way she could mistake that voice. That cool voice laden with despair in a way that only she could really understand. Maybe Luna could, but she preferred not to think about it.

"Hermione?" He repeated.

She turned slowly and looked up to meet his eyes. Those big blue eyes were glassy and he looked so fragile. Her heartbeat was racing but she didn't let emotion show on her face.

"You look…" He started quietly.

"What do you want Draco?" She asked flatly, she was trying not to react to him being here and so close.

He looked so guilty.

"I wanted to see how you were. I, uh… I got your messages and I should have-"

"I can't do this Draco, please, just go. Please." She could feel her eyes becoming damp and she didn't want him to see it.

"Hermione I-"

"Please." She felt a tear spill from her eyes and roll down her cheek.

She expected him to get angry and storm away, but he was defeated, broken. His eyes betrayed the hurt inside and his face dropped as he turned to walk away.

She exhaled sharply and panted a little as she let the emotion out. Why did she have to see him, why did he have to talk to her again?

She sat down in the middle of the library and saw him out of the corner of her eye, sitting alone in the silent corner that she would love to be sitting in, alone.

No matter how much she read, it just wouldn't stick. It was an hour before the little paper swan flew over to her and perched itself on her book. She took it between her fingers and she knew exactly where it came from.

As she opened the paper she gasped and felt the tears threaten to spill out from under her eyelashes and down over her cheeks.

In scrawled handwriting there was nothing more than two words written down.

The words were '_I'm Sorry'_.


	16. Chapter 16

They were just two little words. Not Hermione or even Luna knew just what it meant for Draco. He didn't just mean sorry for hurting her, he was sorry for everything.

No one could ever understand just how much he meant those two little words, and he wasn't sure who would even want to listen. Part of him felt like people would still be alive if he hadn't done the things he had done, if he had of been less of a coward.

Just saying, or even writing those words, was one of the hardest things he has ever done. He was admitting to himself that he had done some real wrongs in that last few years.

Maybe it would have been hard for him to say it back before everything, but that was because he was arrogant and it would hurt his pride. Maybe it was still partly about that, but mostly it was not wanting to have to face his feelings.

He watched as the swan flew towards her. He watched her gently pick it up and open it slowly. He watched as she tried to hide her feelings and pretended that she wasn't looking over at him. And then he watched her stand quickly and walk straight out of the library doors.

He really had hoped that she would talk to him again. At the least he thought she might look over.

As Hermione stormed away from her favourite place in the castle she bumped into Luna, literally.

"Oh! Sorry, I- I didn't see you." She tried to wipe her eyes subtly but it wasn't working.

"That quite alright, is everything okay Hermione?"

"Yes, no, everything is fine. I have to go." Hermione gave a small smile and walked straight past her.

He said sorry. Sure he said sorry about other things, but they were stupid things like snapping at her in the bathroom, or staring at her in the morning before she woke up.

_No_! She scolded herself. _You need to stop remembering it all_.

She headed back to the common room, and fast. She really hoped she could avoid Harry and Ginny, she really wasn't in the mood.

She didn't sleep well that night. She was up tossing and turning and she couldn't turn off her mind. Usually her mind worked overtime, but it was just ridiculous that night. In her drowsy state she ran her hands over one side of her bed, the cold empty side.

She could still remember him lying there, his blue eyes looking up at her and the smile that so rarely flickered onto his lips.

When she opened her eyes there was nothing, not even a trace that he had been there with her.

She sighed and got herself up to face the day.

She stood in front of the large gilded mirror and looked at herself. Her wavy hair was wild and bushy and she had small circles under her eyes. As she dragged the brush through her knotted mane she started wishing that she had never felt an interest in him. She wished that she never walked around that corner to see him with Pansy and that he never came to confront her about it.

It would make everything so much easier. She knew that with all her distractions her studies were suffering, despite her extra efforts. As much as she wished that all of these things never happened, she didn't want to lose her memories.

After making herself look at least presentable she wandered down the stairs, it was a Saturday but she couldn't face a whole day of trying to study and getting nowhere.

"Morning Hermione!" Ron called from the armchair in front of the fire.

Ginny and Harry were huddled up on one end of the couch and Ron was giving them a watchful eye from the chair. Hermione might almost have managed a laugh.

"Morning, what are you all up to today?" She asked as she sat in the opposite armchair.

"There are a couple of trains going to Hogsmeade, what do you guys think?" Harry suggested.

Ron shrugged a little before Ginny piped up. "Sounds like fun."

"So is it just the two of us?" Harry asked, a little too hopefully.

"No, I'm coming." Ron said flatly.

Hermione's lips twitched into a little smile. She had missed them all so much.

"Hermione?" They all looked over to her and she thought for a minute, it would be a welcome distraction.

"Uh, why not?" She smiled feebly.

"Oh, before I forget, Luna was looking for you." Ginny said.

"Did she say why?" Hermione asked.

"No… she just said that she would probably be down by the lake in the morning. She said you'd know where it was. She came to see you yesterday at dinner but you were asleep so I told her I'd let you know."

"Thanks Ginny, I might go and see her and meet you all in Hogsmeade."

"Okay, what's the time?" Harry asked.

"Almost eleven." Ron yawned.

"Was I really in bed for that long?" Hermione said quietly.

"I think we all were, the cold weather just makes you want to sleep." Harry looked in danger of yawning as well.

"We'll leave around midday; did you want to meet in the Three Broomsticks?" Ginny asked as Harry let out a silent yawn.

"Sure, I'll go and see Luna." She stood up quietly and gave a weak smile as she headed out of the common room.

"Is she alright?" Ron watched her leave with a puzzled look.

"I don't know, she seems a bit off doesn't she." Ginny wasn't sure what was wrong.

"Do you think something happened over Christmas?" Harry wondered.

She would usually tell him anything, they had always been so close.

"Maybe, I'll try and talk to her later, if she _wants_ to talk that is." Ginny sighed.

Draco had to find another way to get her to talk to him; he wasn't going to give up this time. It wasn't hopeless. He saw the look in her eyes when he spoke to her yesterday. She was hurt, and she didn't want to let herself get hurt again. He was trying his hardest to make sure he wouldn't hurt her again.

How much time did he have before it was too late for them? Was it already too late to convince her how sorry he was? He had never really said it out loud before and he intended to tell her exactly how he felt. All of it.

As he looked down at the pocket watch in his hand and felt around in his pocket for the little black box. Something told him that this was his last chance to be with her and he really didn't intend on messing it up.

Hermione walked down to the lake, looking for Luna. She had a feeling that she knew what she wanted to talk about but she came anyway. She was standing down by the water when she heard the voice speak from behind her.

"You came."

It wasn't the doe-eyes blonde that she had expected, it was the boy she was trying to forget.

"I'm here to see Luna." She said without turning to him.

"Please just let me talk." He walked around to face her, his eyes pleading. "I never wanted to hurt you. I just, I – I couldn't believe that anything I did could hurt you because it was impossible for me to believe that you cared. No one has ever cared like you." He mumbled the last part and she was inches from giving in, but she had come too far.

"Draco we can't turn this around now. We aren't – this isn't right."

"I got this for you." He ignored her and reached into his pocket.

He held out a little black box and she shook her head.

"I can't Draco, no."

"Please, just open it; I never gave you anything for Christmas." She couldn't hold herself back, she had to see what it was, what he had done.

She held her hand out tenderly and let him hand it to her, making sure their fingers didn't touch. As she slowly opened the little box she felt a fluttery feeling engulf her.

Inside was a red and black river stone on a thin golden chain. Engraved in gold on the pendant was the ancient rune for 'Sun'. It was beautiful, exactly the kind of thing that Hermione liked. He knew exactly the kind of thing she would want, but she couldn't accept it.

"I thought it might do something to make up for what I did to you, and if not then at least you have something when you went to all that trouble for my, for the watch." He gave a little shrug, so scared that she would cut him down as he had done to her.

"I can't take this." She shut the box and exhaled shakily. "I can't have this to remind me of you. I can't take this." She handed it back and he moved away from it.

"No, I want you to have it. Hermione…-"

"No! Don't! Don't do that, I can't do it anymore!" She stepped away as he went to touch her arm.

"Hermione, please."

"I said don't, I can't do this twice Draco so stop!" She threw the box back at him but he wouldn't catch it and they both watched in slow motion as it rolled down the small slope and towards the lake.

Hermione clasped her hands over her mouth and her eyes became glassy. "I'm sorry!" She mumbled through her fingers.

He looked at the spot where he had last seen it and looked back up at Hermione. "If you need proof of what I'll do for you then I'll give it to you." He stripped off his snow jacket and started pulling off his shoes.

"Draco! What are you doing?!"

"I'm showing you what I'll do to get you to give me a second chance." He raised his eyebrows quickly and turned to the lake.

As he jumped into the water Hermione ran to the edge to try and stop him. "Draco you can't! The ice has only just melted, you'll freeze!" She reached out to grab him but he slipped through her fingers. "Draco!"

Her chest was rising and falling quickly as she waited for him to resurface. He should have resurfaced by now.

He came up for air and she sighed. "Get out here!" She hissed.

"Not until… I… find it." He stuttered through the cold.

"Please Draco you'll freeze before you find it! The lake goes down for miles!" She held out her hand for him to take it.

She was realising just how much he meant, she was terrified that something was going to happen to him. He was giving her his best smirk, but she figured out that he was being… playful. "Draco this isn't funny!"

He gave her another smile and her lips loosened to return it when he was suddenly pulled under water.

"Draco!" She yelled.

She saw him splashing around then she saw a green tendril reach up and pull him further under. Why did he have to be an idiot? Why did she have to give back his present? Why didn't she wrap her arms around him and tell him that she wanted them to try again when he had asked? _Oh god, what have I done to him_?!

She was starting to panic and had no idea how to help him; all she knew was that she had to do something. All she could think of was to blast the creature with sunlight, there's a reason they lurk in the Black Lake.

She pulled out her wand and pointed it at the last place she saw him. "Lumos Solem!"

Sunlight steamed out of the tip of her wand and the thrashing in the water stopped. When the water was still she pulled her wand away and looked into the lake, there was no sign of him

With tears streaming down her face she sent ropes flying from her wand into the dark waters, searching for him. When the ropes latched on to something she pulled them back and Draco came out of the water with them. The ropes pulled him up the bank and onto the icy grass. As they slipped back into her wand she threw it to the ground and knelt over him.

"Draco! Draco can you hear me?! _Draco_!" She yelled, her eyes searching his face for any sign that he was still breathing.

She was more scared in this moment than she had been for a long time, he couldn't possibly be gone. She wouldn't let him.

"Draco you come back to me now!" As she screamed the words and the tears rolled down her cheeks she pressed her lips against his.

They were cold and damp but they still felt as familiar as they had only a few weeks ago. She wondered why she ever let him go.

She felt him stir under her and she pulled back as he coughed and opened his eyes with rapid breaths.

"_Draco_!" She smiled and put a hand on his cheek.

"I'm sorry." He choked out and put his hand over hers.

They stared into each other's eyes but Hermione froze when she heard a voice call out to her.

"Hermione! What are you doing?!" She couldn't move, she couldn't even breath, all she knew was that Harry and the others were standing a mere few feet from them, and she had no explanation to give them.


	17. Chapter 17

"Hermione?!" Harry called out to her again. She just looked up at them in a frozen state, unable to move.

"I…I…We… I mean…" She stuttered.

"He just jumped into the lake!" They all turned towards the bank to see Luna standing with a feeble smile on her face.

"Luna?" Hermione breathed.

"What?" Ron looked from Harry to Hermione and back to Luna.

"He dropped this –" she held up the little black box, "and he thought it went into the lake so he dived in, it was really unexpected." They all just looked at her, Hermione was breathless. "Hermione and I were just standing over there and saw it happen, something in the water must have latched onto him because he went under. Hermione saved him."

"And that?" Harry pointed to where Hermione was crouched over Malfoy's unconscious body.

"An old muggle technique, it's proven to be quite effective." Luna smiled over at Hermione, who seemed to be in a state of shock. "Didn't you say your parents taught it to you, Hermione?"

She snapped out of it fast enough to answer her. "Uh… yes, mouth to mouth, clearly… he… he wasn't breathing when I pulled him out." She looked over to Luna as if for confirmation.

"So that's two of us who've saved his skin then." Harry muttered.

"Well don't be looking at me to put my lips on Malfoy next time, I'd rather face the creature in the lake." Ron said, looking horrified.

"You obviously have somewhere to be, I'll get him to Madame Pomfrey." Luna walked over and crouched next to Draco.

"Are… are you sure?" Hermione asked, her hidden hand holding onto Draco's so very tightly.

"It's no trouble; I have nothing planned for the day. Go on." Luna looked down at Draco and then back up at Hermione.

She gave her a quick nod and Hermione released Draco's hand and stood up shakily. Her heart was pounding so quickly she thought it might burst through her chest. They had almost found out about Draco, and they didn't take to it lightly.

"Come on Hermione." Ginny reached out a hand and Hermione took it lightly.

The ride to Hogsmeade was a blur. She didn't think her heart would slow down and all she could think about was how Draco was doing, he didn't look so good when she left him. What if something bad happened to him?

They made their way through Hogsmeade until they walked through the saloon doors of the Three Broomsticks and took their seats in the booth that had always been their favourite.

For a while Hermione said nothing. The others ordered her a butterbeer but she was lost in thought.

"…"

She heard something and looked up from her trance.

"What?"

"I said are you alright?" Harry tilted his head sympathetically.

"Oh, yes, of course, just still in a bit of shock I think." She smiled and gave a little shrug.

"I'm not surprised; we should have taken _you_ to Madame Pomfrey." Ron said.

"Why is that?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Well, you had your lips on _Malfoy_, you could have caught all sorts of things from him."

"He does spend a lot of time with Pansy Parkinson." Ginny said.

"Now I definitely think we should take you to the hospital wing." Ron had a look of horror mixed with disgust on his face and Hermione stifled a giggle.

"I am perfectly alright, it just happened in a flash is all." She rested her chin on her hands.

"You know, I heard from Charlie that they're starting up the Quiddich World Cup again next year." Ron took a long sip from his butterbeer.

"Really? When did he tell you that Ronald?" Ginny asked.

"At Christmas." He shrugged.

"So why did he tell you and not the rest of us?" She looked over at him accusingly.

"Well because he told me not to tell anyone."

"Well he obviously chose the right man for the job." Harry grinned and Ron gave him a shove.

Hermione and Ginny just laughed.

That evening, when they had returned from Hogsmeade, Hermione left the common room to head for the very top of the castle; the hospital wing.

The sun was just about to leave the horizon as she walked through the big doors. There was a girl sleeping in the bed closest to the door, her face was red and blotchy. She saw a dark-haired boy sitting up and talking to a friend down the other end of the hospice, and in the middle of the left hand side row of beds she saw Draco lying asleep with Luna sitting by his side, the Quibbler in hand.

Hermione walked over to them and Luna looked up.

"Have you been here all this time?" Hermione sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at him, he looked so peaceful.

"Yes, I didn't think he should be alone when he woke up."

"You mean he hasn't woken up yet?" Hermione put her hand over Draco's.

"No, not yet, he had a lot of water in his lungs. Madame Pomfrey gave him a nasty tonic to cure it; she wasn't sure when he'd be awake." She put her Quibbler in her bag and smiled. "Now that you're here, though, I think I should be getting to the hall for dinner."

"Dinner isn't for another two hours." Hermione looked away from Draco for a moment to question Luna.

"I'm meeting Neville in the hall, and I think the two of you should be alone when he wakes up, it was quite a row down at the lake wasn't it?" Hermione felt her cheeks flush and she turned back to stare at Draco.

Luna began to walk away before she turned back. "I think this belongs to you." She handed over the black box that Draco had tried to give Hermione that morning.

"How did you get this?"

"It didn't go into the lake, I managed to save it before it hit the water. Lucky I just happened to be walking by, don't you think?" She smiled shrewdly and Hermione hoped that she knew just how true it was.

"You seem to be just walking by a lot of the time Luna." Hermione raised her eyebrows.

"I suppose I'm just lucky." She smiled and walked towards the door in a flowery kind of way.

Hermione shook her head with a smile. She moved up closer to him and caressed his cheek gently. He had a red welt that looked to be fading on one side; there was another on his neck. She knew there were probably more on his arms and legs.

As she pushed his hair away from his eyes she sighed. _How were they ever going to make this work_?

Even if they promised not to tear each other down how were they going to explain it to their friends? Would they even tell them?

Hermione tried to think it through but her mind was exhausted. She pulled the curtains around his bed to give them some privacy and came back to sit in the chair by his bedside. She took his hand in hers and rested her head on the mattress.

It was just over an hour later that she woke up, realising that she had fallen asleep. It was only because she felt him stirring that she was startled awake.

She watched his eyes flutter open and he tried to sit up but thought better of it. When he saw that she was there with him his hand tightened around hers and that rare but beautiful smile graced his lips.

His vision was blurry to start with. He blinked a few times to regain his bearings but sitting up was a mistake. He felt dizzy the moment he moved so he relaxed and lay back again. As his eyes cleared he saw a figure sitting by him, and only when he saw her rich brown eyes did he realise that she was holding his hand with a firm grip.

He gave hers a squeeze and she breathed a sigh of relief. _She came for him_.

"You're here." He said with a rough voice.

"I'm here." She whispered.

She was beaming down at him and she put a hand on his good cheek. He relished her touch. It was warm like sunlight and soft… like her lips. He reached up to touch her cheek and it was like she already knew what he wanted.

She leant down and pressed her lips against his gently, his heart started pounding. She pulled back, but only a little.

"I'm sorry I put you here, I was stupid. I was ignoring myself, and you." She whispered; her breath warm and sweet as it washed over his face.

"I don't care, you're here." He entwined his fingers in her hair; he never wanted her to leave him.

"I'm here. I don't want to give up this time."

"I can't lose you again. I promise I won't walk away." He closed his eyes tight.

He was going to stick to that promise. There was no way he could deal with the pain of losing her again, he just couldn't do it.

"Forgetting you was the hardest thing I have ever tried to do, and I have tried a lot of difficult things." She let out a nervous laugh and he pulled her lips down to meet his.

This time when she pulled away she took his hand and sat back with a warm smile on her face, her cheeks rosy.

"I really am… sorry, for everything I did to you." He looked away.

"Hey…" She said softly as she tilted his face towards her. "Don't apologise anymore, I know."

He smiled up at her and if it were possible she gave him an even bigger grin.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm a little dizzy." He sighed.

"I don't know how this is going to work." She looked down with a furrowed brow.

"You don't have to tell anyone, I… I understand that much."

There was silence between them for a moment before she sighed.

"So we keep us a secret. This time you need to show up when I send you a time." She raised an eyebrow and he tried to laugh.

The smile left her face when he started coughing and reached up to his throat. "I will." He croaked.

"Don't say anything, you'll just hurt yourself."

"I'm okay, really, I'm just glad you came back after… after everything. I just thought that you'd choose them over me, why wouldn't you?" He avoided her eyes.

She turned her eyes away too. "Honestly, I thought I would choose them too. I just couldn't ignore the way… the way I feel." She looked to the clock on the wall and back to him. "Dinner will be soon, I can come back after if you like."

"I'll let you know when I get out; you don't need to come back tonight."

"Are you sure?"

"As long as I get to see you tomorrow." She gave him a smile and left him with a kiss.

"Let me know the second you're better."

As she pulled back the curtain she came nose to nose with Madame Pomfrey.

"I need to administer another dose of his medicine." She said stiffly.

"I… I was just leaving." Hermione rounded the physician and gave Draco one last look before she left the hospital wing.

She couldn't get the smile off her face and her stomach was fluttering about like the first time, things were finally looking up.


	18. Chapter 18

After Madame Pomfrey had given him the latest dose of his horrid medicine, as well as a curious look, Draco was alone.

Usually being alone was his solace, but after this afternoon he felt like something was missing. He was determined not to mess it up this time.

She may have said that she thought she would choose them, but she came to see him, she kissed him.

For the first time in a long time he actually found him smiling at his memories. She wanted to be with him even if it meant keeping it a secret from _them_. He would have to keep his fair share of secrets too.

If almost anyone in his house found out, or anyone back home… He shuddered. Even though his parents hardly even acknowledged him anymore, he was practically a ghost at home; they would probably have a reaction if they found out about Hermione.

No one would ever expect it, so maybe that would make it easier to hide.

Back when he first came to Hogwarts if anyone had told him that one day he would be so smitten with Hermione Granger he probably would have hexed them. She had always intrigued him but he would never have admitted it. That night at the Yule Ball he had thought that she was the most beautiful girl there. Quite a few of the Slytherin girls, including Pansy, had been dressed far too lavishly for his taste. Little did people know that he wasn't completely obsessed with money and extravagant things.

Most of his life he had been given everything that he had desired and after a while nothing material could please him. What could you possibly give to the boy who seemed to have everything?

Maybe the one thing that he had never been given, perhaps because it couldn't be bought: love.

His parents cared for him, yes, but until the war had begun they never had time for him, and now…

Now they act like he isn't even there, like they can't face him after everything that happened. The only time he has ever felt like someone truly loves him for who he is has been in the last few weeks with her.

Not that either of them had actually said _that_. Who knows if Draco even has the courage, or the strength to tell her how he feels. His heart is so fragile that he could hardly take the rejection if she didn't feel the same.

It's the fear of not being loved in return that has stopped him from telling her. He couldn't bear it if she didn't love him back.

He knew that he loved her, he could feel it in every inch of his body, he just couldn't admit it to himself and so he couldn't say it to her.

If there's one thing Draco has learned from Pansy it's that giving someone your heart leaves you more exposed and more vulnerable than by any other means. Even though he knew that Hermione was very different from Pansy, he didn't know if he could trust anyone again, not after everything he's been through…

Draco became slightly drowsy as he lay in the bed; clearly there was sleeping draught in his medicine. He was definitely spending the night in the hospital wing.

Hermione made her way down to the Great Hall with a smile on her face after patching things up with Draco. She could feel the heat in her cheeks from where he had touched her. Her lips were tingling from where his lips had been not an hour earlier. She never would have thought that he would be someone that she could fall for.

Of course she wasn't blind to his good looks and arrogant charm; it drove her mad and made her curious all at the same time. None of the girls could deny that he was handsome. It was only when she started to think about how everything was affecting him that she really became interested.

For so long she hated the things that he did, the jobs he was given. Once the war was over and she saw his brooding gaze she started thinking about how he must be dealing with it all. After all he did come back.

Maybe he just couldn't stand to be at home.

She found the usual place on the table and took a seat by Ginny. "Are the boys not here yet?" She asked with a glance to the two empty spaces opposite them.

"No, they're busy with something, not that I know what. Where have you been? You just disappeared after we got back."

"Oh, I went to ask Luna if she was alright, I thought she might have been a bit shaken up as well." She shrugged, the smile still tracing her lips.

Ginny nodded, clearly unconvinced.

The two boys arrived just in time for the food to present itself on the tables. Ron didn't hesitate in piling his plate full of food, mainly chicken drumsticks and potatoes. This time Hermione didn't scold him and force vegetables on him, tonight she just laughed and began to fill her plate, her stomach growling.

The next day Hermione found the time to pass by in excruciatingly long hours. She wanted to see him. She couldn't explain why.

In a way, hiding a relationship, if you can call it that, was an exciting new challenge. She had never even thought about being with someone that her friends didn't approve of. They didn't know Draco like she did.

It was around midday when she was done trying to study that she remembered her gift. It was still in her coat pocket. As she pulled out the little black box and opened it she smiled. Draco didn't know how to express himself very well face to face, but he really could show how much of a heart he has in other ways.

The necklace was perfect for her. The earthy colours matched her hair and skin and as she held the pendant with a smile the rune glowed with a bright golden radiance. It was just beautiful.

She pulled the chain over her neck and tucked the pendant into her shirt where it sat by her heart.

By the middle of the afternoon she was becoming impatient that she hadn't heard from him. Not even a little note with a time on it. She rested her head on the desk and gave a puff to move her hair from her eyes.

"Okay, you really have to tell me what is going on with you." Hermione looked up to see Ginny standing over her.

She grunted and turned away.

Ginny sat down in a seat at the table and rested her chin on her hand. "Really Hermione, it couldn't possibly be that bad."

As Hermione looked up at her she gave a little laugh. "I promise I'll tell you Ginny, but not just yet."

Ginny gave her a sly smile. "You're finally seeing someone new aren't you?"

"What on earth gave you that idea?" Hermione knew she was less than convincing.

"Oh come on, I told you I don't care that you used to be with Ron. I never understood that anyway, he's usually a complete arse." Hermione smiled a little and Ginny dropped her hand with a thud. "Honestly, you can tell me. You still talked to me, even after Harry and I were over. He's like _your _brother. I'm your friend, you can tell me."

"I don't even know what it is yet. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't know what it was, I still don't. You know you're one of my closest friends, I'll tell you when…" Hermione looked up and past Ginny to see a small piece of parchment whizzing through the air towards her.

It stopped right between her and Ginny and floated down onto the table. For a second Hermione was worried that Ginny would snatch it before she had the chance but she merely raised an eyebrow.

"Is that from him?"

"… Yes."

"Well what does it say?"

Hermione grabbed it and unfolded it slowly.

_I know it's a late message; I just woke up from that damn tonic. 6:00pm._

"Well?" She asked.

Hermione handed over the note, knowing that Ginny would never know who it was from.

Ginny smiled. "You know, I can give you a cover story for tonight if you want."

"What do you mean?"

"I can tell them you're getting tutoring from McGonagall so that you… have an alibi."

Hermione laughed. "I'm not staying out all night, I told you, and we don't even know what it is yet. But an alibi would be nice."

"He's in a different house isn't he? That's why you won't tell me. Are you embarrassed? He's not a Hufflepuff is he?" She grinned.

"Definitely not."

"You know I could find out who he is. If you started this over Christmas then all I have to do is find out who stayed here over the break. It couldn't be that hard." Ginny shrugged.

"I know you won't."

"No, I'll wait until you tell me." Ginny gave her another grin before she stood up and wandered off.

It would probably be easier to tell Ginny than anyone else. That doesn't mean Hermione was going to rush into it.

Draco spent most of the day sleeping in the hospital wing, whatever it was that Madame Pomfrey had given him really knocked him out. Before he left the hospital he sent a note to Hermione.

He didn't want to go back to his dorm before seeing her, that would mean possibly running into Pansy and that would just ruin his good mood. It's so rare for him to be in a good mood.

He decided to go straight to the room of requirement; it wasn't too long before she would be there. He took one last look at the fading red welts on his stomach before he pulled his shirt back on and drew the curtains back.

As he stood before the bare wall on the seventh floor and imagined a place that the two of them could be together. He closed his eyes and thought about a place that they had shared together, a place where he had been happy.

When he opened his eyes the door had materialised in front of him. As he walked inside it was like he was stepping into her dormitory.

He thought back to Christmas night when he had fallen asleep with her in his arms, and woken up to those big brown eyes looking up at him. She was beautiful when she woke up next to him.

She was always beautiful.

He walked into the room to see that there was also a fireplace and a table with two chairs. He wished he had brought some food. That's one of the things that the room can't provide for you.

He sat down in one of the chairs and looked at his pocket watch. It was only five fifteen. He tapped his feet and thrummed his fingers on the table. She had been early before.

As he sat around in thought his eyes grew heavy and started to fall asleep with his head resting on his hands. He startled himself awake after a few minutes. He had been asleep all day and the last thing he wanted right now was to sleep.

He distracted himself by practicing spells. He went through all sorts of little charms and spells. He almost didn't hear the door click open.

He turned around as she was closing it, the red sparks repelling back into his wand.

"Are you doing magic? Show me." She said sweetly.

"Oh it's nothing… just some simple charms." He shrugged.

"Show me."

He looked away and flicked his wand over to the table. A vine began to twist its way up the leg and sprouted little white buds.

"I can't get them to flower, they just stay like that." He sighed as they began to fade away.

"You're taking charms aren't you?"

"Yes, but I really wish I hadn't."

"Why?"

"I did it to get away from the majority of people, but I'm last in the class."

"Well it is mostly Ravenclaws. I can help you if you like." She slipped her hand into his and he looked up at her. "I'm at the top of the class."

"It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out, _Granger_." He gave her a little smirk.

"Well then I'm not surprised that you already knew, _Malfoy_." He roared with laughter and leant in to steal a quick kiss.

"I suppose I could handle you teaching me a _few_ things." As much as she had made him more tolerant he could still be arrogant.

"Well I can help you out with your classes and you can…" She stopped short, unsure of where to go from there.

"I'm sure you'll think of something." He winked and she felt her cheeks flush.

She pulled out her wand and gave it a swish so that the silver light was emitted from the end. They watched as the little otter danced around the room, Draco had never seen such pure magic up close. He knew exactly what it was and there were times in the recent past that he had wished he knew how to perform it.

"You can conjure a Patronus?" He looked away from the otter and back at Hermione.

She lowered her wand and gave him a smile. "Yes, I can show you sometime. You just have to think of the happiest memory you have and speak the enchantment." He laughed a little.

Like that was going to happen.

"We should probably just stick to the curriculum."

She looked down, cheeks still rosy and full. "I brought some food; I figured that you probably haven't eaten."

His stomach churned hungrily, he hadn't eaten anything since the day before.

"I am absolutely starving." He grinned.


	19. Chapter 19

He took the basket that she was holding and set out the food for them. She had brought some turkey and roast potatoes that she had pilfered from the kitchen. As he separated their meals onto plates she cast a spell into the fireplace and soon the room was illuminated by the glow of the firelight.

They ate in silence, sneaking glances at one another across the table. Draco couldn't help but smile as she blushed over at him.

She was so unbelievably beautiful.

"Thanks for thinking of that, I sort of forgot about it. I guess I was distracted." Draco smiled as he pushed aside his empty plate.

"I can't possibly imagine why." She leant over and pressed her lips against his.

He felt that familiar feeling of electricity run through him and it left his heart pounding when she pulled away. He stood up and offered to take her hand. As she stood up and placed her hand in his he pulled her into him.

She pulled out her wand to give it a quick flick and the old and well-worn grammar phone against the far wall began to play.

Their bodies swayed side to side in a slow, sensual kind of way. As they breathed in and out their chests pressed tighter together. There was no air in the space between their hips and his hands were firmly on her waist while hers were wrapped around his neck. Her eyes sparkled in the dim light from the fire.

He dipped his head and she parted her lips for his to fit between them perfectly. There was that spark again. His hands tightened on her sides as her tongue slipped into his mouth and traced the lines of his tongue. He let out a heavy breath and opened his mouth wider to let her in.

Her hands ran down over his moulded chest and her fingers found their way to the small gap between his buttons and onto his bare skin. He shuddered at her touch and pushed her towards the four poster bed.

He let out a low growl and her hands ran back up to his neck as she pulled him in to deepen their kiss. She felt a warm pressure growing against her hip and she could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

She sat back on the mattress, never breaking their embrace, and Draco tore off his jacket as he lowered himself over her. She lay back and twisted her fingers in his hair as he placed a knee between her thighs to hold himself above her.

He pulled away and looked down at her with her brown eyes wide and shiny.

"I didn't realise how much I missed this." She said, slightly out of breath.

"I did." He kissed her with a hard passion and pressed his body down into her.

He trailed his lips from hers to her jaw and then made his way to her neck. He placed small kisses down to her collarbone and traced it with the end of his tongue. The way his lips felt against her skin made her push her hips upward into his as the shiver ran down her spine. With every movement she made he fought back harder to keep himself under control.

He had never wanted anything as much as he wanted her in that moment.

She forced him to sit up and pulled off her warmer layers, he watched intently as she unbuttoned her white shirt with shaking hands. As she was left in a white singlet she reached out and began to fiddle with his buttons but he grabbed the bottom of the shirt and ripped it over his head, tossing it aside.

She grabbed his head in her hands and pulled him in for a kiss that threatened to make him lose control. Instead he slipped his hand under her tank top to expose her skin and have his pressed against it.

The throbbing from inside his jeans was becoming unbearable and when he felt her hands reach for his belt he thought he might explode.

He pulled his lips away and rested his head on hers, panting severely. "Stop…" He breathed.

"Why? Don't you want me to?" She breathed.

"You have no idea… I just… not tonight…" He bit down on his lip to stop himself from taking it all back.

She didn't argue, she could feel his lust and knew that he would have to have had a good reason for stopping them. She gave him a light kiss and he groaned painfully.

"You're hard to figure out Draco."

"You're no open book either." He grunted as he rolled to the side and lay looking up at the ceiling.

She laughed lightly and rolled onto her side. "You have to tell me one thing though."

He turned to look at her, a cheeky glint in her eyes.

"And that is?"

"Have you always been this handsome?" She placed her hand lightly on his chest and began to trace circles with her palm.

He closed his eyes and savoured her sweet touch. "It grows more pronounced with age." He gave her a smirk and she nuzzled her way under his arm and rested her head on his chest.

Maybe he would have a memory to use for a Patronus after all.


	20. Chapter 20

"Do you have to leave?" Draco's fingers traced hers as she sat on the edge of the bed.

She smiled as she pulled her jacket back over her shoulders. "I have to get back to my dormitory. I have an early class tomorrow. We could meet by the lake at lunch and I could help you with a few spells… if you like." Her cheeks flushed that familiar rosy red and Draco felt that light feeling in his stomach.

"I would."

"Good I was thinking we could start with what we're learning now and go back to-"

Draco laughed and she looked slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, I- you're just sweet, that's all."

She leant over and gave him a soft kiss that he felt couldn't have lasted more than a moment.

"I'll see you for lunch, okay?" And with a gleeful smile she left the room.

He lay his head back and closed his eyes. He was smiling wider than he has in a long time. Could things finally be going his way? Did he, Draco Malfoy, finally get the girl? The perfect girl?

In his mind he traced the outline of her face, her rosy cheeks and full smiling lips. Her warm brown eyes just sparkled when she looked at him and he couldn't believe his luck. Things were finally going his way.

As Hermione crept through the common room and up to her dormitory she has a slight bounce in her step. He was turning out to be such a beautiful person, something she never would have expected. Her hand reached automatically for the pendant he gave her. Underneath his cold exterior and all the hatred he had projected was a kind and sweet man struggling to get through the world.

Maybe he could get along with Harry and Ron… Hermione scoffed to herself. He wasn't that different, neither were they for that matter. They were all so arrogant and proud when it came to something like that. Draco would never admit to them that he knew what he had done was wrong, and the other two would never let him forget it.

She sighed. This was how it had to be if she wanted to keep them all.

At least Luna wouldn't judge, but then again, she was the most understanding person that Hermione knew. When she headed up to her bed she collapsed in the cold sheets and almost wished that she hadn't left the room of requirement.

Draco headed back to the dungeons with his usual cocky smile on his face with his head held high. He gave the password to the painting and headed into the dimly lit common room. He slumped in the armchair he had claimed as his own and grinned.

"There you are, you're impossible to find lately." A chill washed over him and he sighed.

"Maybe that's a sign to stop looking." He grumbled.

"Ha-ha, stop whining." She lay back down on his lap and he turned away from her eager lips.

She grabbed his head forcefully, her nails digging into his neck. As she pulled him into her and slammed her lips against his he didn't twitch, he had no desire to involve himself with her anymore. He let her tear him down because that's what he thought he was worthy of. He had no self-worth before Hermione had made him feel something.

Pansy put him down and made him feel like nothing but he had thought that no one would ever make him feel important.

_We accept the love we think we deserve.*_

Pansy pulled back, annoyance plastered on her face. "Fine. Forget it. But you need to get with the program. You missed a lot over the break. I have to be the one to fill you in. You know we're counting on you not to screw it up this time."

"What are you talking about?" He shoved her gently and she stood up and walked around until she was staring down at him.

"The Revolution, I told you."

"No, you didn't."

"No? Well maybe I was going to on the train, but someone failed to show up." She spat. "It's not over. The Dark Lord may be dead but that doesn't mean that we need to obey these… Potter worshippers… we're coming back from this, and they're not going to see it coming."

Draco said nothing for a moment, the crushing feeling weighing down on his chest. He had hoped that this was over…

"Why are they planning something, who?"

"We aren't going to let them humiliate us and look down on us like we're weak! We're really going to show them. And it's those people who've been in hiding for months, supposedly dead. We don't need to play a part just yet, other things are being done for now. Do you want to know some plans?" She grinned wickedly and he grunted.

"Can you leave me in peace for a while? I need my sleep." He said curtly.

She narrowed her eyes but she walked away, he didn't care where she went. His whole body ached at the thought of what was to come.

Hermione had an early morning start, which she was early for as usual. She was smiling almost the whole way through the morning and she knew that Ginny was watching her like an owl but she didn't care. She was starting to be happy again, and a lot of that was because of Draco.

She didn't really know what to call him, they weren't technically together but she would like to think of it that way. She cared very deeply for him and she knew that he felt the same, even if he couldn't really say it. She hoped that he would be able to tell her how he feels at some point.

She headed down to the lake for lunch and began wandering around the banks. She loved this place, she couldn't imagine not being here after this year, Hogwarts felt like home. She loved the lake and the view of the countryside from the castle walls, she missed it all whenever she was back with her parents… her parents. She had only seen them for a short time after the Battle was over, she didn't know that she would see them again at the beginning of last year.

Many of the students felt the same way, though probably not under the same circumstances. In one way the battle did them all some good, it brought everyone closer. Well, it brought each side closer to itself and distanced one from the other even more vastly.

Despite that, Professor McGonagall had allowed room in the year for an extra break for students to spend with family. Just one week, almost two months after the Christmas break. She thought it was best for all students to not only know the values of their Hogwarts family but their biological families too.

A lot of the younger students just rolled their eyes, displeased at the idea of going home to their annoying siblings and fussy, overprotective parents. Hermione smiled to herself, knowing that one day they would really understand.

All students were required to leave unless there was a decent and proper excuse for them to remain at school. McGonagall didn't let the first and second years walk all over her, she was probably harder on them now than back when Hermione's group came through for the first time.

She couldn't wait to see her family, they would be back from their holiday and from the last letter she received they were just as excited to see her.

She felt a hand slip effortlessly into hers and it startled her for a moment, until she turned to see Draco giving her a small smile.

"Hi." He said.

"I didn't see you there." She reached up on her toes to kiss his cheek and she pretended that she didn't see him look around for wandering eyes.

"You seemed pretty lost in thought." He shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess I was."

They walked slowly around the lake, headed for the cover of the trees just before the forest. There was silence between them, which wasn't unusual, but Hermione couldn't help thinking about Draco's home and how things have been. She had only heard rumours about what had happened; all different and unfortunately none good.

"Draco…" She bit her lip a little as she spoke.

"Yeah?" He looked down suspiciously.

"I… uh… well I was just going to ask how you were doing."

"I'm fine."

"Well, yes, but I was just wondering how things were… at home?" She felt his fingers tighten and he began walking in an odd way.

"Fine." He said through gritted teeth.

"Draco…-"

"I said they were fine. What's it to you anyway?" She could hear the temper weaving its way into his voice and she pulled her hand out of his.

"I was just taking an interest in your life Draco. Am I not allowed to do that?"

"I didn't say that."

"Well what is it then? Why can't you talk to me?"

"I don't want to talk about it." He glared over at her and she sighed.

"What is this Draco? What are we? If we're anything at all I should be able to ask you something like that and not have you turn around and look at me like that." She knew that her expression was pained and he turned away from her for a moment. "If we avoid talking about everything you don't want to talk about we'll just be in silence for however long this lasts. If it even lasts at all."

"I want it to last. I- this is something. I just don't want to talk about that."

"Are you upset? Or ashamed? What is it? You know that I won't judge you Draco. I care about you."

"I care about you too." He mumbled.

"So please talk to me." He still wouldn't look back at her and she sighed. "Do you know what I did before this thing started?" His gaze twitched towards her a little. "I… I obliviated my parents." This time he looked up to see her on the brink of tears. "I didn't want them to be in danger in case… _he_ needed leverage on me. So, I cast the spell and removed me from their minds. I convinced them to live in Australia so they would be far enough away from all of this that they might be safe. I didn't think I'd ever see them again, especially not with their full memories of me. After the battle, Aurors were sent to find them and bring them back. Most of their memories were recovered, but sometimes they forget little things. They can't remember my favourite things, and they forgot when my birthday was, but they remember me. I didn't think they ever would again." Even just thinking about the idea that she may never have seen them again made her get upset.

Even though things had been restored and she was a part of their lives again, there was a time when she didn't think there could have been.

Draco stared down into the thin layer of snow still covering the ground and sighed. "My father didn't go to Azkaban." She looked over curiously but he still wouldn't look up. "Everyone seems to think he did, I know that's what people are saying, but he didn't. They gave him some pardon thing, I don't know why. He's forbidden from entering the Ministry unaccompanied and he's practically a social pariah. He just sits at home, reading through his old library mainly. All that my mother does is take care of him. It's like walking into a ghost house. They only see each other now. Between my father's disgrace and my mother's blame, there's nothing there anymore."

Hermione could see the dark cloud that was surrounding him and how bleak it must have been to live in that house. No wonder he came back here.

"Is that why you came back?" She said softly.

"At least here people talk about the reasons why they avoid me. At least I know what they think I've done, who they think I am. At least here I know that I've given them a reason to think of me as a monster."

He was broken. He was so very broken inside and she didn't know how to fix him. She could see the overwhelming pain that he was feeling and she finally understood why he didn't want to tell her about any of this. He was trying to keep it hidden so that he didn't have to face the reality of what his life was. He didn't have to question the kind of man he was.

"You're not a monster Draco." She cupped his cheek in her hand and gently turned his head to look into his eyes, they were the eyes of a man in agony.

The stormy grey seemed to swirl around like a violent tempest that threatened to bring destruction at any moment. There was such hopelessness in them that she knew that they had been brought together for a reason. She couldn't find a purpose for herself and he was lost, a shadow of someone he thought he had been, wandering aimlessly.

"You're anything but." She leant up and kissed him, two tears falling in chorus down his pale cheeks.


	21. Chapter 21

They finally managed to practise their spells together, like they had originally planned, Hermione didn't want to push him too much. It took a while before the smile came back to his lips and the dark cloud around him seemed to fade away. Hermione knew that it was still there, but for now, he seemed happy.

She brought up the subject of a patronus in passing but he waved it away, claiming that he wouldn't be able to do it. He didn't want to face the disappointment of not being able to, not with her watching him. He knew she would feel sorry for him, but he didn't want her to.

"I'll send you a note, to let you know when we can meet up again. I have a lot of study I need to get done." She smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

He breathed in deeply, her rose and lavender scent filling his body with warmth. As her grip loosened around him he knew he had to let her go too. With one last warm smile she turned and headed back to the castle. He watched her for a while before he started another walk around the lake.

What was he going to do when he would be forced to go home? He had a reason, but would anyone listen? Or care?

He knew that he would end up back there anyway. Maybe he could occupy his time trying to find a single book in their enormous library that he could give to Hermione. That would definitely take him a while.

Even just thinking about her when she wasn't there made him ache, he missed her sweet touch. She was so perfect; something was bound to go wrong again. It always does, just when he thinks that he'll be happy.

He won't let himself lose her again though, he could hardly stand it the first time. Now that he has felt her touch and experienced the pain of losing her, he will never do it again. No matter what it takes. He just hoped that he wouldn't be too much of a coward if he ever does have to fight for her.

He sighed and continued walking around the lake.

Hermione rushed back to the common room and stood in front of the fire, warming her numbing fingers.

"Where have you been all day?" She turned around to see Ginny looking over at her with folded arms.

"Actually, I've been practicing my charms down by the lake." It was the truth, granted slightly warped.

She returned to warming her hands by the fire.

"Don't lie, why won't you just tell me who he is?"

"I'm not lying and why can't you respect my privacy?" Hermione turned around to warm her back and face Ginny.

"We're friends Hermione, don't you trust me?"

"Why are you pressuring me?"

"Secrets don't do any good Hermione! They just make people drift apart, and we don't need any reasons to drift apart. We can't hide things from one another, that's the last thing we need." Hermione could see that she was worried, she knew that we were leaving Hogwarts this year and that she would be one of the only ones in our little group that would still be here, Luna being one of the only exceptions, and she was in another house.

"Nothing is going to tear us apart, Ginny. I promise. And I will tell you, you just have to let me figure out what's going on first." Hermione said softly.

Ginny sighed and sat down on the sofa. "Sorry, I guess I'm just a bit strung out. It's Georges birthday soon."

Hermione felt someone tugging on her heartstrings and went to sit by Ginny. She put a hand over hers and Ginny sighed again.

"First one since… you know."

"I know."

"Nothing will ever be the same, will it?" She asked with a sense of longing.

"No, I don't think it will be the same ever again." Draco passed through her mind.

This was the first time she had felt like maybe this wasn't the right thing, she felt almost guilty.

Draco didn't see Hermione the next day; he didn't even get a note to say that she was busy. He knew that she didn't need to send him constant messages, but he just loved the feeling he got when he saw the little piece of parchment floating towards him.

She did say that she had a lot of study to get done. He resigned himself to the idea that she was just lost in study. Still, he found himself sitting around thinking of her and getting distracted. He should probably have been getting his study done but he just couldn't concentrate.

His mind was all over the place. He thought about Hermione, about what Pansy had said, he thought about what it would be like to go home, what he would do when his time at Hogwarts came to an end. It all seemed to be getting closer and closer.

He didn't sleep properly that night; he was far too wrapped up in all of his ponderings to sleep.

The next day as he sat at the breakfast banquet he looked over to where she always sat at the Gryffindor table. She seemed to be picking at her food, probably thinking just as much as Draco was.

Hermione couldn't get that feeling out of the pit of her stomach, that she was doing something wrong. She knew her friends could never understand her wanting to be with someone like Draco. Especially not with him being the person they thought he was. She knew that they wouldn't be as patient as she is, or even take the time out to listen, and if they did, they'd still never fully trust him.

What would they think of her if they knew? The reality of her situation was hitting her hard. Suddenly she didn't feel so sure. What she needed was to figure things out in her head.

Was she willing to risk her friends for what she thought she could have with Draco? For what she thought he could make her feel? As she ate her breakfast that morning she thought she saw him staring a few times.

Well he would have to wait until she knew where her loyalties lay. It was an easy decision in theory, but in practice trying to choose between your head and your heart was anything but simple.

She didn't talk to him for another three days after that. Every day Draco woke up with the false hope that she would send him a note, and every night he went to bed with a pressure on his chest that he knew all too well. He felt so stupid for even having the hope that she would want to see him. That wasn't like him.

Hope wasn't something that he had a lot of to spare.

He felt to anger rising inside him, but he wasn't angry at her. He was angry at himself. He must have done something, or said something, to make her turn away. Or maybe she saw him like the rest of them, a ghost, a shadow.

He ran his hands through his hair with frustration so many times that week. Sometimes he didn't think he could cope with the things that happen inside him. Sometimes everything becomes too much.

He rummaged through his trunk that lay under his bed that afternoon, looking for one of his textbooks when he saw the dried green leaves sitting at the bottom. He stopped his search and picked them up. His eyes glazed over as he rolled them between his fingers. He shook his head to get the memories out and put the leaves in his shoulder bag with the rest of the things for his study.

As he left his dormitory he shoved his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders. He was very much the brooding wizard. He walked all around the castle, on his way to the library. He thought he would walk past the fifth floor prefect's bathroom, where they had touched for the first time.

He missed her smile, her fingers brushing his skin. Maybe that place could bring some of that back to him.

He stood in the doorway just thinking about her. How had he not noticed her like this before?

Almost as if someone had planned it, he saw her long wavy hair bob past him and he reached out to grab her hand. She hadn't seen him standing there and spun around, bewildered at his sudden grasp on her wrist.

"Draco! What are you doing?" She asked as he pulled her into the bathroom.

He wasn't even sure, he just couldn't let her walk by him. They stopped in front of the bath and the taps began to fill the giant tub. They both gave it a curious look before turning back to one another.

"What are you doing?" She repeated.

"I… well, you never sent me a message." He stuttered a little.

She looked away and he felt slightly ill, had his doubts been true? "I know, I've… been really loaded with study and-"

"You're lying." He said, almost as a question.

"No I'm not!"

"Then why won't you look at me?" He said coldly.

She looked up, her eyes full of guilt. "Draco… I-"

"So you've been avoiding me?"

"I know I shouldn't have been…" She put her bag down by her feet and he did the same. The pain in his eyes made it so hard for her to look up. "I'm sorry."

He had a sudden memory flash and gave her a shove. As she stepped back to steady herself her foot slipped to the edge of the bath and she screamed as she reached out to grab him, but he was way ahead of her. He grabbed her arms and let himself fall into the bubbly water.

They splashed down and she let go of his arms. She gasped as she looked down at herself.

"What on earth was that for?" She glared up at him.

"Do you remember when you did it to me? I called you a… I called you a mudblood and went to apologise as you shoved me in." She looked at him like he was crazy but she started laughing and he wasn't sure what to make of it, she still looked furious.

"You are absolutely mental Draco."

"How else am I meant to get your attention?" She began laughing even harder and gave him a punch on the arm.

He splashed her with the water and she flicked it back. So they played in the water, Draco smiling, his heart warming at her joyous laughter.

She was so beautiful, and she was here with _him_.


	22. Chapter 22

Their fun only lasted a little while, but they emerged from the water dripping wet with big smiles plastered on their faces. They both took off their soaking shoes and sat with their legs dangling over the edge.

"I was just bombarded with all of this pressure about how things have changed too much and I know that this will be the biggest change of all." She sighed. "I really care about you Draco, I just got scared that no one else would understand it." She looked down at her legs. "They'll never understand it I'm afraid."

Draco could see it now. He knew what it meant to be afraid of how people would react. He would never admit it but he was scared that his parents or Pansy or some of the others that frequented his house during the last three years would find out and come after him, or worse, _her_. He hadn't really thought about that last bit much, but now that he has it will be the thing he worries about most.

And then he understood what Hermione meant. She wasn't scared of their reactions, she was scared of losing them. She was scared of losing everything that she cared about.

So was he. Was it worth it to risk her life for the sake of maybe being happy for a while? He had to believe that it was. And she would never let him leave because he was worried about her safety.

So he understood, because he finally had something to lose. Finally he had something in his life that he would be lost without. He had something that he was so scared to let go in case he never got it back and the thought of her slipping through his fingers was terrifying, but he finally _got_ it.

He reached up and put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. He hated the fact that she had so many people that she was scared to lose that it made her question the way she felt about him. He was absolutely fuming inside.

But it wasn't spite, it was jealousy. How long had he ached for someone to share his life with in more than just the way he does with her? He could never truly be himself with his 'friends'. She didn't even realise just how lucky she was to have it all.

In his eyes, she had everything. Maybe that was why he had hated her so much before it all. She had friends who were loyal to a fault, she was capable of love and she could separate her family life from her problems here in the wizarding world.

She had everything and he had always felt like he had nothing. He was on a winding path down a road that he thought he knew, until he passed the point where he couldn't turn back. He hated it.

But because he cared about her, he swallowed his anger and jealousy and tried not to pick a fight with her, not now.

"I know." He said finally.

"I shouldn't have let that get in our way. I guess it was my turn to turn the cold shoulder." She looked up at him with a small smile.

He snorted. He had been a little hot and cold with her early on. "I wasn't that bad."

This time she laughed loudly and leant over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. "You were an absolute mind bender." She kissed him again before taking her legs out of the bath and walking over to where her bag had dropped.

She pulled out her wand as Draco walked towards her and she held it up to him.

"What are you doing?" He said.

"Don't you trust me?" She said with a cheeky gleam in her eye.

"I think." He gave a feeble smile and she flicked her wand.

He flinched a little but he felt his clothes begin to dry themselves.

"That's much better, isn't it?" She smiled.

"Pass me my bag and let me practise that one on you." She reached down to grab his satchel and lifted at the wrong end so that its contents came pouring out.

"Oh! Oh, I'm sorry!" He smiled as her cheeks flushed.

"It's fine, it's just a few books."

They began to scoop everything back in when Hermione saw something interesting on the cold tiles of the bathroom.

"Draco…" She said slowly.

"Yes?" He looked up from his bag to see her holding the dried leaves that he had put in his bag earlier.

He felt his stomach twist a little and he swallowed hard. She would definitely know what that was.

"Why do you have leaves of Aconite in your bag?" She held them up and looked over curiously.

"I… well I found them in one of the classrooms and thought I better take them to Slughorn." He said.

"You weren't going to put them into a potion were you?"

"I didn't know they were Aconite, I thought they were a simple herb. I've never seen Aconite looking like that." He said defensively.

"You know that leaves of Aconite are-"

"Poison, yes, any first year would know." He snapped.

"Sorry… I just thought it was curious is all."

"Well it's not. Can I have them back so that I can take them to Slughorn?" He held out his hand and she was reluctant to return them.

"You promise that you didn't know it was Aconite?" She asked.

"Please just give them back?" His eyes were pleading and she nodded a little before handing them over.

He shoved them into his bag and picked his wand up off the floor. He pointed it at her and gave it a flick. Soon enough, she was dry as well.

"So where does all this leave us?" He asked.

"I'm not going to let my fear get in the way of us anymore. I've faced worse." She smiled and walked forward to take his hand. "How about we meet after dinner? In the room of requirement as per usual." She gave his hand a little squeeze.

He nodded and leant down to press his lips against hers. As she parted her mouth slightly he put a hand on her side. If there was one thing he had missed for the past few days it was this. She pulled away and leaned into him for an embrace.

He raised a hand to cup the back of her head and kissed her hair. As he closed his eyes and breathed in her sweet lavender scent he felt his whole body relax a little more. She was here in his arms and no one was going to take her from him. No matter what happened.

He told himself that even if the rest of them found out he wouldn't let them close enough to hurt her. He would do anything to keep her safe; there was no doubt about that.

Hermione headed back to the common room to freshen up before dinner. So many unanswered questions about the Aconite leaves swirled around in her head and she knew that she should have believed him when he said that he had found them. She just couldn't believe that he wouldn't have recognised them. He has taken potions every year since the beginning.

When her mind began raising suspicions about any sinister intentions that he may have with them she felt a pang of guilt. _That is the old you talking_, she thought to herself, _that is what you would have thought three years ago when you didn't know who he really_ _was_. Even through her scolding there was always that nagging voice. Could he really have been planning something terrible?

She shook her head of all of those thoughts and walked through the portrait of the fat lady. She came almost nose to nose with Harry.

"Hey Hermione, I thought you'd be on your way down to dinner already." He said.

"I was just coming in to freshen up a bit. I've been in the library with all the dusty old book cases." She smiled.

"You know, you could take some time to yourself to just… I don't know, relax."

"We have our final exams this year Harry."

"Yeah and you always end up on top anyway." He smiled and she rolled her eyes with a laugh.

"Well that's because I always study and you don't. Don't even get me started on the way Ronald has me correct his essays. It would be faster to have me write it myself."

"That's true. Come on, you look fine. Let's go down to dinner."

She tried lazily to argue but began walking down to the great hall with him anyway.

"So you and Ginny seemed to pick things up again pretty quickly." She said with a slight glance to Harry on her right.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed pretty loudly before looking back at her.

"She's just so worried that everything will change."

"I know, she told me about that." Hermione nodded.

"Well, it has to doesn't it? Even if we never had to face Voldemort and all the rest of it we would still have to leave school at some point. Everything changes then anyway, not to mention we won't see each other every day and we'll have different jobs and new people in our lives… well, she got me thinking about it and I think I found myself missing the way it used to be. I love Ginny, I do. I just don't know if we're right for each other right now.

"She's still going to be in school next year and I'll be… well I don't know yet. I just couldn't say no when she was so upset. I guess I needed the comfort of what it used to be like too." He sighed again and Hermione looped her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I guess you're right. Things would have changed anyway."

"So why does it feel like things would have been the same if it weren't for everything?"

"It just fits in with the timing." She sighed. "Sometimes I wish we could just go back to before everything, but I suppose we have to live with it all now."

"Yeah, I guess we do. Hey, why don't you take a night off from study, or whatever it is you've been doing to come down to the lake for a bonfire with us?" Harry looked down at her and she smiled at the thought of spending a night with all of her friends- like old times.

"You aren't really listening to all of Ginny's ramblings are you?" She laughed. "I would love to."

She thought about Draco and knew that she would have to tell him to wait until tomorrow, even though she knew he would hate it. She walked with Harry down to the hall and as quickly as she could she scrawled a note to Draco and sent it whizzing away. She couldn't wait for tonight.

As Draco was heading towards the hall for dinner he had a little more spring in his step than the last few days. She always seemed to have an invigorating effect on him. As he turned a corner he only just saw the little piece of paper before it jabbed him in the nose.

He gave it an annoyed whack before he opened it and upon reading the first line his heart sank.

_Draco, I'm so sorry but I have to cancel for tonight. I really do want to see you so get some sleep and meet me by the room an hour before breakfast._

_H._

He was slightly confused but he tried not to let himself get angry with her. He wanted to see her even though she couldn't make it tonight, that had to be a good sign, didn't it?

The old group were getting together that night, the first time in a very long time. Hermione walked down towards the lake with Harry, Ginny and Ron. She couldn't wipe the grin off her face. She looked over at Harry who was holding Ginny's hand and smiling. Ron put his arm around her shoulders and they fell back from the other two a little.

"Hey Hermione, I just want to make sure that everything is okay with us." He looked down at her expectantly.

"Well of course it is." She gave him a warm smile.

"I just don't want things to be weird anymore, you know?" She put her arm around his waist.

"I don't want to lose you Ronald, and I suppose things have to move forward at some point, don't they?"

He made a little sound in his throat. "Yeah, they do. Look, I just want to tell you something before… well I thought I should tell you."

"Well go on then."

"I… well I thought that you should know that I'm kind of seeing someone." He took a big gulp and Hermione just looked up at him for a moment.

He looked very nervous but that was when she realised that she didn't feel jealous or annoyed. She actually felt glad that he had found someone too, so she gave him a big smile.

She reached around and hugged him, something that they had never really done before it all changed. He seemed a bit surprised but he hugged her back.

"I'm so happy for you." She said.

He seemed to let out a sigh and she laughed a little.

"Imagine that, you, nervous about telling me." She grinned.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay with it."

"I'm glad that this isn't weird anymore, I hated not being able to talk around you."

"Yeah, me too." He gave her a small squeeze before they made a few quick steps to catch up to Harry and Ginny.

Hermione could see the warm glow of the small fire through the trees and as they got closer she saw Dean and Seamus sitting by it holding drinks in their hands.

"Well look who finally decided to arrive. I've had to sit around listening to him for the last half hour." Seamus said.

"Steady on, you're not so interesting yourself." Dean grinned.

Ginny looked down to their cups and Seamus laughed. "Calm down, it's just butterbeer."

They passed around more cups and Hermione took a sip. The foamy sweet familiar taste made her think of better times.

It wasn't long before Neville and Luna arrived, hand in hand. Luna skipped over to sit next to Ginny with her sweet smile and rosy cheeks. Neville wandered over to Dean and gave him a nudge on the arm.

They all mulled around for a while, chatting as a group before smaller factions broke off. Harry, Dean, Ron and Neville were talking about the not-so-secret return of the Quiddich World Cup, Ginny and Luna were having a private chat over on a fallen log and Hermione was left to talk with Seamus.

"He really doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut does he?" He pointed over to Ron.

"No, not really, he's always been one to gossip." They smiled.

"Well let's just hope that one day he doesn't get himself in trouble."

They sat in silence for a moment after that before Hermione piped up.

"So Seamus, do have many plans for next year?"

He took a sip of his butterbeer and shrugged. "Well, I think I should steer clear of flammable things." They laughed together.

"Maybe you could, if they were meant to explode or catch fire." She smiled.

"I don't know, when I was a kid me dad brought some fireworks home, I don't even know how but next thing you know half the house was up in flames." They laughed again and each took sips of their drinks. "No really, I don't know. They want me to join the ministry as an Auror in training. I don't know if I really want to do that."

"Well, you have all year to think of something." Hermione gave him a light nudge on the arm.

"I take it you're still on the fence then?" He asked.

"I just have no idea where to go from here." She sighed.

"Well you have the choice of the lot so you don't need to worry." He laughed.

It had become quite dark by that time and the moonlight was glistening on the black water of the lake. Seamus had joined the Quiddich discussion – which seemed like it would never end – and Hermione walked over to join Ginny and Luna.

"It's a beautiful night, don't you think Hermione?" Luna gave her a sweet little smile as she sat down.

"It is, the moon's almost full."

"Enough with this polite chit-chat, I know that Luna knows who it is you're seeing." Ginny gave her an accusing look. "Why won't you tell me?"

"I only found out because I worked it out. She never told me, not really."

"Still, you can still tell me." Ginny sulked a little and Luna smiled over at Hermione again, the two of them sharing the burden of Hermione's secret.

"I can tell you that you don't have to worry, she's in good hands." Luna said.

"Yes well I still feel out of the loop."

"You Weasleys are always trying to hunt down the latest information, and you can never keep it to yourselves." Hermione grinned at Ginny's scowl.

"What is it you're saying about us?" Ron and the boys were turning around to face them.

"Only that you can't keep secrets." Dean laughed.

"We can too." Ron protested.

"Maybe when your life depends on it but otherwise you're hopeless." Harry said.

They all had a good laugh at the expense of Rona and Ginny before they turned it around to Seamus' pyrotechnics and then the time Neville thought he killed Harry at the triwizard tournament.

"Oh come on, how was I to know that I hadn't killed him? He looked like he was just sinking!" Neville said.

"You should've seen your face Longbottom; you were white as a sheet. I was hoping I wouldn't have to miss the tournament to take you to the hospital wing, I probably would have just left you there." Seamus howled.

"Well I wouldn't have any idea, I was stuck at the bottom of the bloody lake." Ron looked rather annoyed that he had to miss all the excitement to be someone's item.

"So was I you know." Hermione smiled over at him.

"Well we were all being subjected to Fred and George taking bets on who would and wouldn't make it out alive." Ginny said.

They all laughed at the memory before silence filled the clearing around the fire. No one really knew what else to say. They were all thinking the same thing.

"It's George's birthday next week." Ginny said slowly.

Hermione saw Ron sigh and Luna rested her head on Neville's shoulder. Dean and Seamus looked intently at the raging orange fire and Harry looked up at Hermione, the two giving each other knowing looks.

The silence was deafening, crushing. Hermione had an idea.

She stood up and started walking to the edge of the lake. As she took out her wand all eyes were on her and she closed hers with a deep breath. She thought back to all those Christmases and holidays at the Burrow. All the wonderful memories of Fred and George, of Molly and her friends flooded her. She smiled as they filled her with nostalgia and a sense of pure happiness that she missed dearly and she whispered the words.

"Expecto patronum."

The silver light came pouring out of her wand in the form of an otter and began dancing above the surface of the lake. Hermione opened her eyes and smiled at its pure beauty. It wasn't long before a small hare joined the otter in their play over the lake.

Hermione looked to the side to see Luna standing with her.

Seamus was next, his silky fox almost as agile as the moonlight. Then came Ginny's patronus, a graceful mare. Ron stepped up, and then Neville and Dean, producing a small dog, a lion fish and a badger.

When Harry produced his stag – the final patronus to complete the set – they all gathered in the centre of the lake with what seemed to be a final gaze back before running towards the forest trees.

Luna took Hermione's hand and on her other side Harry gave her hand a squeeze. Things wouldn't be the same, not ever, but this made Hermione believe that nothing could break them apart.

Draco went to bed that night, it took him hours to fall asleep. He was just waiting to see her in the morning, even if they had only a little while. He finally fell asleep at almost midnight.

This was right about the time when the gang were making their way back to the castle, trying to avoid Filch, who still liked to roam around looking for students out of their beds.

As they finally made their way through to the staircases, trying infinitely hard not to laugh they waved goodbye to Luna as she headed to the Ravenclaw common room. The others made their way to the portrait of the fat lady after Ron was stuck on a shifting staircase for a while, much to everyone's amusement.

Hermione said goodnight to the others and climbed into bed, her heart pounding, and this was not the end of it.

In the morning, she woke up with enough time to quickly dress and sneak out of the deserted common room to meet with Draco.

He was already there. He was never going to let her know just how long he'd been there.

He went to pull her in for a hug but she grabbed his arm and pulled him down the hall.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"There's plenty of time to explain." She pulled him into a corner and he looked quite confused.

"What's going on?"

"Did you go straight to your common room last night?" She asked.

"Yes, why?"

"Good, because I have something to show you."

Now he was completely confused, even more so when she pulled out a necklace with a tiny golden hourglass in its centre.

"What is that?"

"How long ago was dinner? It was at about seven wasn't it?" She said, ignoring his question. "Do you have the time now?"

"Uh… Twelve past six, why? Did you hear that?" He went to look out in the hall but she pulled him closer to her and put the chain around their necks.

"Remember that time will you?" She smiled and turned the little spindle exactly eleven times.

He felt strange for a few moments before she pulled the chain off his neck and took his hand.

"What just happened?" He said as they walked past the room of requirement and waited for the door to appear.

She looked up with a gleam in her eye and took the handle of the door. "Time travel." And with a single finger pressed to her lips she pulled him into the room at twelve past seven the night before.


	23. Chapter 23

"What are you talking about?" He asked, confusion written all over his face.

"We have plenty of time to spend with each other." She grinned.

"We have classes in an hour, or do you-" He stopped short as he looked down at his watch.

Thirteen minutes past _seven_? He had just checked his watch a moment earlier.

"This is a Time Turner. This is how I get to all of my classes, a lot of them run at the same time so McGonagall gave me this in third year."

"So does that mean we're changing the past?" He asked.

"Yes and no. We've already done this and so the future you knew a few minutes ago when you came here is already set, unless you do something different this time around." She spoke so nonchalantly and he was still trying to comprehend it all. "We're doing exactly what we were doing last night, that won't change."

"So you're saying that while we're in here, we're also finishing dinner in the Hall?" She nodded and he thought he had a firm grasp on it, well, a loose grasp.

"It took me a while to get used to it too."

"Well why haven't we been doing this all year? We could turn it back for much longer than-"

"I try not to use it unless it's for classes." She said firmly.

"Why? You could get so much done."

"Bad things happen to witches and wizards who play with time. If you just ran into yourself you'd think you were going mad because you wouldn't know you'd turned back yet. There are wizards who try to turn back three or four times and it just causes chaos. You have to be very careful. You definitely don't want something like this to get into the wrong hands." She was right.

"So I get to spend all night here with you?" He gave her a small smile.

Her cheeks flushed and she nodded a little. "And no one will ever know, as far as they know, you ate dinner and went straight back to your common room."

"This is remarkable. Can we see ourselves? It's just so unbelievable, that's all."

Hermione thought about it, knowing it was a bad idea. She looked into his eyes, so full of something she rarely saw in them; wonder. She was nodding almost before she knew it.

"Later, I promise. For now can we just enjoy ourselves?" He grinned and pulled her into him, dipping his head and softly kissing her lips.

As she reached up on her toes and laced her arms around his neck he held her tighter and pulled his lips away to kiss her forehead.

"I knew you were a rule-breaker at heart." He gave her a cocky grin and she pulled her face back to raise her eyebrows at him.

"How so?"

"You said you weren't supposed to use it other than for classes, yet here you are, breaking more than one school rule in the process." He growled a little and she laughed.

"Don't expect me to do it whenever you please, this is most definitely a one off." She turned up her nose a little and it was his turn to laugh.

"Maybe the Time Turner part but the rest of the rules you'll break over and over again." She shook her head at his arrogance and he placed another warm kiss on her lips.

She parted them to deepen their embrace and his hand reached around to rest on her lower back. He dragged his tongue along her top lip until it met with hers in a tangle. She felt his fingers tighten against her side and she pulled herself even tighter into him.

He let out a low groan and pulled them both backwards so that his back was pinned tightly to the wall. Hermione cupped his face in her hands as they let the passion take over. Draco spun them around quickly to press her against the wall. Their lips broke for a moment and Draco looked down into her rich brown eyes with a hunger building inside him that he wasn't sure he wanted to let out.

As his breathing became heavy she pulled him down to her and roughly pressed her lips against his. She had never been kissed in a way quite like Draco kissed her.

She could taste the lust, feel it emanating from every pore in his body, and yet somehow it was a fragile kiss. The way he held her so tightly made her feel as though he was afraid to let her go, in case all of it was a dream. He made her feel it all, the passion, the tenderness, the… she couldn't finish that thought. Had she really been about to think that?

As she pushed her body out and into him he pulled his face away, biting hard on his lower lip. His hands didn't relinquish their stronghold on her, they remained firmly on her back and waist.

"Stop…" He panted.

"Why Draco?" She asked softly and he closed his eyes.

He didn't want to have to explain it to her. She was different, she was special. He didn't want to be with her like this, at least not the first time. She deserved more. She deserved it all.

He wanted to give everything to her but he didn't know how. He had never been one for tenderness, or maybe he had, it had just been beaten out of him for years.

He forbade himself from indulging in his fantasies with her until he learned how to make it perfect. He owed her that. He owed everything to her.

So he couldn't just let it go this way, he was going to do anything to make her happy, even if it drove him mad.

_She is right here in your arms_… the voice in his head told him.

"Draco… you know I… I want this too…" Her voice softly cooed in his head and he bit down painfully hard on his lip.

"I know… just not tonight." He opened his eyes and released his throbbing lip, only for her to kiss it gently with a small smile.

She was almost too good to be real. There was no way he would treat her the way he treated the others. She was too pure.

He pulled himself away from her and walked over to the couch on one side of the room, collapsing in it with a thud.

Hermione took off her jacket, a little flustered, and rested it on the arm of the sofa before sitting next to him and snuggling into the space by his side. One of her arms slipped around his waist and she sighed. A little smile crept onto her lips as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her legs up over his lap.

As his hand gently caressed her arm she closed her eyes, just enjoying being held like that. She would never have guessed that there could be such a person inside Draco. He had always acted like someone else.

It was true that Draco had always pretended that he didn't want this kind of thing; mostly he was just scared that no one would want _him_ like this. So he pretended that he was someone different, he had everyone pretty well fooled too.

For a while it was almost like he had himself fooled, and he convinced himself that he would never have anything better but she had changed that.

All he wants is to give her what she deserves. He knows how lucky he is to have found her, because she let him discover things about himself that he had forgotten. She made him feel worth something like he always wanted to.

"Draco, can I ask you something?" She murmured into his chest.

"Of course." His arms tightened around her.

"What exactly is going on with us?" They didn't look at one another, Draco almost seemed to tense up a little.

"Well, I… I think… I mean…" He sighed. "I don't do this kind of thing well." He said finally.

"Have you ever done it before?"

"…No, I've never really wanted to, not like this." He had wanted to have this kind of relationship with someone before.

The last time was back in fifth year, after that he never thought he could make a bond with anyone again. If he had retained any hope from before it all went wrong, it would be that he could find someone like her.

"Well, that's something. I suppose I just wanted to know…" She trailed off, not wanting to ask the question in case the answer was something she didn't want to hear.

"Know what?" He asked.

"Just… I just wanted to know if we… if we're together…" Draco was silent for a while as he smiled a little.

"Are you asking?" He said, the smirk evident in his voice.

"Don't be difficult Draco." He laughed a little; the grin would be plastered on his face for weeks.

"Do you want to be together?" He asked.

"Of course I do, I can just never tell with you. I'm asking if you want us to be officially together or is this just some school fling?" She lifted her head up to look him in the eye.

"It's not just a fling. I… I've never felt like this before… I..." She was clinging to his words, waiting for him to say those little words that seemed to be on the tip of his tongue. "I want us to be together, properly."

She was trying not to show him how big her smile really was but she couldn't hide it. She reached up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He put his hand on the side of her face and looked down into her eyes. As she looked back at him she couldn't help but notice how blue his eyes were tonight.

"I still can't really believe all that stuff about the time travel. It's just… too weird." He smiled.

"Come on then, let me show you." She grinned back at him and he raised an eyebrow. "Let me show you just how wonderful tonight was." She jumped up and took his hand.

"We're going out there?"

"Of course, but we have to be careful, remember, this has already happened." She opened the door slowly and peeked down the corridor.

"Right." He said unsurely.

"Come on!" She pulled him out the door and they ran down the hall.

He heard her laugh and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. She was giggling with the excitement and dragged him into a dark corner to hide from some students passing by. She looked up at him with her bright eyes beaming as she pressed a finger against his lips.

As she carefully looked around the corner to see the two students wandering back to their dormitories he never took his eyes off her. She was mesmerising, like every movement she made was in slow motion.

"Quickly!" She dashed out again, still dragging him along until they were at the stairs.

There were no other students near the stairwell so they hurried down to the ground floor and out of the front doors – it wasn't quite past curfew yet.

They couldn't see anyone else out the front of the castle so they slowed down and walked hand in hand under the moonlight.

"It's a beautiful night isn't it?" Hermione closed her eyes and sighed contently.

"Yes, it is." He didn't look around, he just looked her up and down and gave her hand a small squeeze.

They wandered towards the lake and Hermione looked over to the small orange glow through the trees.

"Do you want to know what I was doing tonight?" She asked slowly.

He saw her avoiding his eyes and he thought he already knew why. He could feel the anger growing inside him and he let go of her hand to shove them in his pockets. He took a deep breath and tried to put it aside.

"You don't need to tell me." He said through gritted teeth.

He took another breath and looked over at her. The smile was gone; she looked almost scared. It was strange how one look could change him completely. The anger started to dissipate as he calmed down, knowing that she wouldn't have taken him back with her if she didn't want to see him.

"I'm sorry." She sighed. "I-"

"Don't be! Really, it's okay." He took a hand out of his pocket and pressed it to her cheek.

"Come on, let's go a little further." She smiled and they walked away from the bonfire towards the lake.

The moon was almost full and it made everything around them almost glow. Hermione snuck glances at Draco as they walked, his face bathed in the moonlight. He was truly stunning. His high cheekbones and blonde hair were desirable by anyone's standards and she almost felt a little proud to be holding his hand.

They walked down a small slope and sat down as they were out of sight from the castle. The lake looked just the same as it had the last time she stared out over it. Somewhere in the edge of the trees she was staring out at the same glorious sight.

Draco was looking out at the serene water with a pensive look on his face and Hermione scooted over to him and broke his gaze. As he looked down at her she gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.

He put an arm around her and deepened their embrace. A cool breeze washed over them, loosening Draco's thin blonde hair and flinging Hermione's thick locks behind her back. He cupped the back of her head in his hands and dipped his tongue behind her teeth. Hermione mirrored his movements and ran her fingers through his hair.

As the breeze rolled in again she pulled away and grinned giddily at him, almost drunk off of his touch. She gave him a playful shove and he nudged her back. She smiled again and pushed him back onto the grass. He began to laugh, his voice sounding so lyrical and he pulled her down to meet him.

He tried again to kiss her but she rolled him over and pinned him to the ground with a wild grin set in stone on her face. He reached up to caress her cheek with his fingers.

"You are so…" He just finished his sentence with a light peck on the lips.

She lay down beside him and looked up at the stars. They were so bright tonight; they were always bright at Hogwarts. It was a part of what made this place so magical.

They lay by the lake, exchanging a few thoughts between them. Draco wished that the time would go on forever, that they could lay there forever just speaking to one another and trading the occasional kiss.

As she told him about an experience in her charms class, a bright silver light caught his eye from the centre of the lake. He sat up and looked over to see an otter dancing over the water.

"What is that?" He interrupted and she sat up beside him to look over as the patronus' gathered in the darkness.

It was just as beautiful the second time seeing it and Hermione sighed. They watched the animals swirl around one another before disappearing into the trees.

"What was that?" Draco asked again, mesmerised by the beauty.

"We all cast a patronus onto the lake before we left." They stared after the silver light as the creatures disappeared between the trees. "They're quite breathtaking aren't they?"

Draco felt a pang in his chest as they left the water. He wished that he could create something so pure, so alive with the magic that had enticed him as a child. It was like staring at magic in its raw form, like stripping everything else down and seeing only what is good about the world.

He would give almost anything to experience that kind of magic. If he could just feel it fill him, just once.

"We could try it now? If you like." She said softly, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"I can't." He said with a scoff.

"Draco, just take out your wand." She said.

He raised an eyebrow at her and she gave an impatient huff. The corner of his lip twitched with a smile at her bossiness. He had never _enjoyed_ someone telling him what to do… until this moment.

He rolled his eyes before he closed them and she nudged him a little. "Fine." He pulled his wand out of his pocket and sighed with mock annoyance.

He felt her put her hands on his shoulders as she spoke. "What's your happiest memory?" She whispered.

"I… I can't think of one." His brow furrowed a little.

"Not even something from when you were a child?" She asked and he shook his head.

She felt a pang in her heart, was there really nothing joyous or wonderful in his memory?

"What about me?" She raised a hand to his cheek and he opened his eyes. "Keep them closed." She smiled.

"I was just getting another look." He said as he closed his eyes again.

She felt her cheeks flush and she was glad he couldn't see it.

"Remember the first time we kissed." He smiled a little. "Or those few weeks of the holidays when it was just us."

His mind travelled back to then and he felt a familiar warmth fill his chest.

"…Or the night before Christmas, and waking up that morning." He opened his eyes and looked down into hers.

He felt like he could do anything when he was with her, she made him feel worthy of something.

"So give it a try." She whispered, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

He couldn't, he would surely fail. He was afraid of failure and more than anything afraid of her seeing him fail. With one last look into her eyes he sighed and closed his eyes again, envisioning everything he could remember from that wonderful night.

He remembered the way her skin felt against his, how she put her hands on him in the morning and woke him so tenderly, nothing but warmth in her heart, and innocence. This had to be his best memory, it had to work.

He let his memory fill him up before he exhaled slowly, opened his eyes and said the words shakily.

"Expecto Patronum." The tip of his wand flashed silver for a moment and then died down.

Before he had the chance to become disappointed Hermione butted in. "You almost had it, try again!"

So he uttered the incantation once more. "Expecto _Patronum_!" A small jet of silver light dashed out of his wand and faded as it made its way across the lake.

Before she could give him any more praise he spoke the words again, determined. "Expecto Patronum!"

This time the light from his wand spread out like a fan and remained bright on the tip of his wand. He couldn't believe it. He looked over to Hermione who was just smiling at the silvery glow. It was like nothing he had ever seen before.

After a few moments of basking in its beauty he lowered his wand and the darkness returned.

"That was beautiful." She said, looping her arm through his. "Come on, we best be getting back."

As they walked towards the castle she held him close. His mind seemed to be off wandering. He couldn't stop thinking about how he had managed to create a patronus. He did it; he actually managed to do it. Granted it was hardly as magnificent as Hermione's, but perhaps with more time spent with her it could be.

When they got to the castle entrance Hermione checked her watch and pulled him around the wall so that they were shrouded in darkness.

"What are we-" She shushed him with a sharp sound and three fingers to his lips.

"I think we're coming this way." She whispered.

Draco looked out into the distance, squinting in the darkness. Sure enough, it wasn't long before the figures began to emerge. He heard their excited voices and hushed laughter before he could really make them out.

They watched them pass by, Draco felt a little stunned to see Hermione with them considering she was standing right next to him. He also felt that pang of jealously when he saw the smile on her face.

Hermione looked up to see him holding his jaw tightly as he watched them pass. She knew that he was jealous, but she couldn't decide whether it was because she was happy being with them or because he wished he could have exactly what she did.

When they couldn't hear the group trying not so subtly to stay quiet they headed into the castle and back to the fifth floor.

Draco was deep in thought again, but this time not over his patronus. She had shared something with him that very few people knew. This time-turner was one of her best kept secrets, she would never had shown him if she didn't trust him. So maybe he should share something with her, something he knew would be playing on her mind.

Most of him said that he shouldn't tell her, that she could never understand. The rest of him was dying to give more of himself to her. She had shown him kindness that he could never have imagined, especially from someone like her.

She had seen all the bad things in him, he had never shown her anything good in all those years of school but still she looked past it. It was like she knew that everything he had shown her was not indicative of what was inside him.

They walked past the wall and turned around to see the door appear. Once they were inside they stripped off the outer layers of clothing, it was so much warmer by the heat of the fire than it was out in the grounds.

Hermione sat back on the bed and Draco's mind took him back to Christmas night, falling asleep with his arms around her, her warmth surrounding him. He pulled off his shoes and over-shirt and sat next to her.

They lay beside one another and Hermione traced his jaw with her finger. He closed his eyes and sighed with content. He would have to tell her eventually, and now seemed like as good a time as any.

"Hermione…" He said softly.

"Yes?"

"I have to tell you something…" He could feel the nerves in his voice coming out but he couldn't stop now.

"About what Draco?" She scoot a little closer to him and ran her hand down his arm.

"About me."


	24. Chapter 24

**_Draco_**

_I remember everything._

_I remember it so clearly in my mind. I wish I could forget but I know it's impossible._

_Where do I start?_

_It should probably be when my father descended on me with a request – no, a demand. I could tell from the look on his face that he didn't really want to do what he had to, but he did it anyway._

_It was the school break between fifth and sixth year and I was lying back on the couch with a book from our library in my hand. I heard him come in and looked up. There he was with that sick look on his face; my mother followed him with a face like stone._

_"Draco…" He said as he put a hand on the side of the couch._

_I just looked up at him, I had no clue what was going to come of it all. He started explaining things to me, about how it was going to change, about how his return would make our world a better place for all of us. My mother hardly looked convinced of the things he was saying but she would never go against my father, their bond was too strong for that._

_When he told me about the role I would have to play I remember dropping the book and it fell to the floor._

_"No! I won't do it!" I spat the words out._

_I couldn't believe what I was hearing._

_"Draco this is our chance to-"_

_"I don't care!" I cut him off sharply. "I won't do it, I didn't sign up for anything, you did!" I slammed my fist down into the side of the couch, like it would have done any good._

_That's when he signed what was potentially my death sentence._

_"You don't have a choice Draco."_

_After that my holidays were over, any chance of having a semi-regular life was over. I began my initiation into the death-eater core._

_It started with the mark. When the first of it touched my skin I could feel the cold black ink seeping into my veins, infecting me with darkness. I could feel it moving, whenever he wanted me to feel it I could. I couldn't control it in the slightest._

_It was just the start._

_Soon enough I couldn't finish my studies because I had to work on the cabinets, they had to be ready. Snape helped me with that; he was one of the few who knew exactly what was going on._

_I guess you know the rest. You know what happened to Dumbledore and that he stayed at our manor through what should have been my seventh year. I didn't sleep for weeks knowing that he had the run of the place. Suddenly everything that used to be mine was under his control._

_I didn't have a say in it, I was expendable to him. If I put a foot out of line he could dispose of me like I was nothing. To him I was nothing._

_It felt like I wasn't anything to anyone. Nothing but a pawn in their sadistic game of wizard's chess where he was the black king, and Potter was the white._

_I was just another face in the sea of Death Eaters, except everyone at school knew what I had done and who I was allied with. The Slytherins respected me, most of them had parents involved in it all anyway. Everyone else would curse me as soon as look at me._

_Even coming back this year I got looks of derision, hatred, disgust, and all other emotions in between. It was debilitating to live like that._

_But that's too far forward, I've missed too much._

_I had just lost Goyle, he had been my friend for seven years. I suppose this was the first thing that made me want to stand up for something different. It was what made me think that I should be doing what I thought was right._

_The truth was that I loved it at Hogwarts. As much as Dumbledore favoured Potter and the rest of them and as angry and bitter as I acted I really did enjoy it there. That is until sixth year when it all changed. I couldn't just get through school and try to think about what I wanted to do when it was over. I had a job to do, and that job was to betray everyone within its walls. _

_After that, Hogwarts was never the same. How could it be?_

_There was a lull in the battle, I sort of wandered around the castle, avoiding glares and watching as people mourned their dead. It all came crushing down on me, I know that it all started when I let them in through the cabinets the year before. Maybe he would have found a way in without me, but I had a hand in it. There was blood on my hands. Hands, arms, I was practically drowning in it._

_Maybe that wasn't as true as I thought it was, but there was no denying that some of this was my fault._

_I wandered in the shadows looking at all of the damage I had done. When they finally emerged from the forest, and they thought Potter was dead, I tried to be strong. I tried to stand on the right side of the fight but my father was calling out to me. _

_They were all I knew, I had to go with them. Maybe it made me a coward to everyone else, maybe it made me pathetic, but I couldn't just stand there. I was too afraid that they would disown me and I would be stuck with nowhere to turn, or that he would kill me and then nothing would matter anymore._

_So I walked out of the crowd and over to where he stood. I almost couldn't stand to have him touch me. I could feel the mark on my arm humming as his hands gave my shoulders a meek squeeze. It made me feel ill in my stomach._

_When he released me I didn't turn back to look at the smouldering castle walls, I could feel the hot stares on the back of my neck. They hated me, they all hated me._

_My mother took my wrist with a death grip and pulled me through the crowd of death eaters. until we were walking away from it all._

_That is probably what I should start with, but she doesn't need to know all of that. It's just the part that I know she's going over in her mind. So I guess I'll start there._

"Well you know you can tell me anything Draco." She said as she smiled so warmly up at him.

His heart pounded and she stroked his cheek reassuringly, the nerves showing clearly on his face.

"Okay." She didn't say anything more; she thought it was probably best to just let him get out what he had to say.

If she was being honest she was worried about what it might be. He exhaled heavily before he began.

"After the battle, after we left everything, we apparated back home. It was only then that we found out what happened. Some of the others arrived shortly after. Most of them had some harsh words to spit at my father, some of them at me. We didn't fight, and they couldn't understand why.

"My mother screamed at the top of her lungs telling them to get out. Eventually they did but not before father yelled a lot of stuff about hopeless and how we were all going away for a long time.

"Anyway, they apparated out of there and my parents left me alone while they argued about… well everything. I sat in the library… for hours. I just kept thinking that even though it was over, it was never going to be over, not really.

"My parents sort of started to ignore me after that. My mother made small gestures, I guess she was trying to tell me that she was glad I didn't die or something. I don't know. Other than that, it was like I didn't exist.

"It was probably a week later that the inquests started. My father was carted away first, next they searched the house and then they thought about taking me in." His face contorted as he remembered it.

They took him down to the ministry, they had just appointed a new minister and he had ordered all Death Eaters whose whereabouts were known to be taken in and questioned. Draco bore the mark and so they thought it was necessary to bring him in. He remembered sitting in the cold chambers waiting for a high authority auror to meet him. The guard sat behind him, watching him closely. He could still feel his eyes on his back.

The auror had come in and sat opposite him. He didn't mess around.

_"You are known to have committed acts of dark magic in accompaniment with Voldemort. Do you deny these acts?" I swallowed hard and flinched at the mention of his name._

_"N…No… I uh… well my father-"_

_"I asked if you committed the act Mr Malfoy, nothing more." He said coldly as he scribbled something down on his pad._

_I stayed silent as the quill scratched at the paper eagerly._

_"When you completed acts for Voldemort were you or were you not under the impression of the imperious curse?" He looked up with the same cold face and I felt the sweat begin to form on my brow._

_I almost couldn't get some of the words out. I finally managed to choke something out. "…No, I wasn't. I was-"_

_"Mr Malfoy when I ask you a question I expect you to answer it plain and simple. If I ask you to explain then do so if I don't then keep your mouth quiet." He had a rough voice, one of those people that you didn't want to see angry._

_I had no idea what he was writing but I knew it was nothing good. The questioning went on for over an hour, by the end I was stressed out and sweating and I felt like I needed to take off my sweater because he was pounding me with so many questions that he could easily twist into something else._

_It was about then when another auror – a woman in a grey suit and slicked back hair – walked through the door._

_"Dolka!" She said sharply and nodded to the corner of the room._

_They had a short conversation that I could hear from my chair._

_"His parents are deeply rooted in their circles, you can't expect the boy to oppose that."_

_"He is seventeen years old, he should have to take responsibility for his part in the war." The one called Dolka was not very sympathetic towards me._

_"I have just come back from an interview with his father. From the way he spoke it sounded as though they were coerced in the last year or so to do his bidding. He was using their house as his headquarters."_

_"Yes and he didn't have to do what he was asked." Dolka growled._

_"Would you rather he died?"_

_"Many people died for what was right."_

_"I don't believe he had a choice, would you prefer us to take out the veritaserum?" She said._

_I didn't know that it was allowed, but that's what they did. It only took about fifteen minutes to decide that they could let me go. They made sure I knew that I would be kept under watchful eye though. _

_They didn't release my father for another week; he had to undergo a trial._

"They ended up giving me veritaserum, to spill the truth. They let me go home, obviously. My father had to go through a trial before he was allowed home. They decided that 'towards the end of the battle all acts were against his better judgement and not of his own volition'. Officially that was the judgement anyway.

"So he was put under house arrest for the first few months, his only outside visits were to be to the ministry. He just sort of shut it off after that." He had told her most of this before.

Mainly he was stalling so that he didn't have to tell her what he was hiding.

"It must have been awful for you." She said in a voice barely more than a whisper.

He didn't have to answer, of course it was.

"Anyway, I… I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't do anything other than stay locked up in my house. I still couldn't sleep in my own bed. I was up for hours, any sleep I did get was crummy at best. It still felt like he was there, like he never left. My mother tended to my father and the only thing I could hear throughout the house was the ticking of the old clock in the parlour.

"I must have read two dozen books in just over a week. After that I took to cleaning every inch of the place, trying to get rid of the stench that lingered there… it was like a thick layer of grime that just wouldn't come off, no matter how many times I scrubbed it…" His breathing became heavy and Hermione stroked his cheek a little more trying to calm him down.

It worked a little, and soon he was back to breathing calmly.

"I did all of it, every single room, except for the one that my father remained in. I couldn't face him. When I finished the inside I tried the outside, in the garden. My mother always had a full garden, for her potions. It was pretty barren when I got out there, a year of neglect didn't do it much good.

"I tried to fix most of the plants, but they were almost all dead." He breathed out heavily and turned his eyes away from hers. "I couldn't handle it anymore. I hadn't spoken a word in weeks, I hadn't heard from another person since the questioning at the ministry… I couldn't take it Hermione…" He closed his eyes tight and clenched his teeth.

_I wandered aimlessly through the garden, what else could I do? There was nothing for me anymore, nothing. I was nothing, a nobody, with no hope of a future. Everyone knew me as a traitor, on both sides. I was in exile._

_I looked down to the corner of the garden and saw it; a small blue-green flower was about the only thing still living in the Death Valley that was the yard. I recognised it right away: wolfs bane._

_The flower on the plant is harmless to humans, but the leaves are more commonly known as aconite – one of the more deadly poisons in the known world._

_I pulled them out by the root and threw the flower aside._

"There was one plant that was still growing… there were wolfs bane flowers in one of the garden beds…" Her brow furrowed slightly. "So I took the plant."

"Draco… was that…" She said slowly.

"They were the leaves you found in my bag. Mind you a little bit dried out. I figured that I could just slip them into my tea or something; I could fool myself into thinking that I wasn't taking them." Her face held a look of horror and shock, she couldn't believe what he was saying.

_I left them beside my bed that night, maybe it was to remind me to take them in the morning, maybe it was in case I couldn't sleep and the voices in my head became too much to bear. They were still there the next morning though. I took them with me everywhere after that. I had to keep them with me. That way if everything overwhelmed me I could just slip away. No one would even notice._

_The thought that no one would even know that I was gone for quite some time almost pushed me to do it. _

"I took them with me everywhere, I always had them with me no matter where I was in the house. It wouldn't be hard to disappear. Like I said, I was practically a ghost anyway." He had a faraway look in his eye and Hermione felt hers glassing over.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"When I went back to school I knew I had to take them with me."

_They had become almost a comfort blanket to me. It was like I knew that it could all disappear if I really wanted it to. If I needed it all to go, I could take them. I even had them on the tip of my tongue a few times._

"I almost did it more than once… I just ended up beating things with my fists. I wanted to do it. I really wanted to do it." He looked up at her as tears threatened to spill from his eyes.

Hermione already had tear stained cheeks from the overwhelming information.

_I wanted to do it more than I had ever wanted anything. But I couldn't._

"I just couldn't." He choked. "Not once I found you."

He had never been so vulnerable. His body shook with sobs. He had never told anyone about the leaves before. He had never told _anyone_ anything so close to his soul before. She held him and stroked his hair as he let out everything he had been holding in for months. She kissed his cheeks where the tears had been left and when he finally composed himself she held his head in her hands.

"You have to promise me you'll get rid of them." She said with a shaky voice.

He nodded to her and she pressed her lips into him for a hard salty kiss.

"You promise me."

"I promise." She kissed him again, and again, each with more need. No one had ever been so honest with her.

She could hardly believe that he confided in her with something like this. Maybe this meant that they could finally start something real, something with more elation than torture.

She held him into her for what felt like such a long time. She felt him begin to relax beside her and she realised that this wasn't enough.

"Draco?" She said.

"Mmm?" He murmured into her shoulder.

"I was thinking, maybe you could come with me to see my parents in the break… even if it was just for half the time." He pulled away to look up at her.

"You really think they would let someone like me into their house?" He said, his eyes heavy with despair.

"My parents are muggles, they'd be thrilled to meet someone from my school. They don't know anything about the war or who was on which side. I know they'd be ecstatic to have you." She smiled warmly and he thought about it.

He couldn't imagine what it would be like to live in a world where no one knows who he is and what he has done. His mouth twitched into a smile and Hermione kissed his forehead.

He knew there had to be a reason that he didn't take those leaves; she was it.


	25. Chapter 25

They lay together for a while, just quietly holding one another and savouring the moment. When Draco closed his eyes he just felt so completely happy and after spilling his inner demons to Hermione he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Somehow sharing his pain with her had relieved him of some of it.

He felt like maybe he could finally start something real. Maybe he could put the past behind him and move forward, with her.

His head rested on her chest and her fingers gently wove their way through his hair. He would never have let anyone do that before, he had always hated people touching his hair. This time he sighed with content as she ran her hand down the side of his face.

"Couldn't you just lie here forever?" She murmured.

He sighed again. "I know, I love… _this_. I love this seclusion." He waited anxiously to see what she would say in return.

He wasn't actually going to say _that_. He said exactly what he wanted to, but somehow when the words came out it scared him a little. It's not that he didn't want to say it; it's just that he had never said it before. Not to anyone.

Her response was delayed but she finally said something. "I know, so do I."

He looked up at her with a smile on his face and kissed her.

"You know we should probably get some sleep, we have to be out of here by ten past six. It's already past midnight." She said.

He pressed his lips into hers again, taking in the feeling. When he pulled away he sat up to take his belt off and he undid the button on his jeans. "Do you mind?" He looked back, for some reason he felt a little bashful.

Hermione smiled at the rosy glow in his cheeks. "Not one bit."

He turned his face away with a little laugh. He slipped his jeans over his hips and kicked them off and onto the floor. When he turned back to face her she had done the same and he let his eyes deviate from her face down over her smooth pale legs.

He looked back up to her red cheeks and smirked a little. "I uh, I think you're blushing Granger." He said arrogantly.

She raised an eyebrow at him with a smile. "Well unless I'm mistaken Malfoy, I believe you are too."

His smirk turned to a scowl as she gave a playful laugh. As she laughed she thought that she probably shouldn't have done so, that kind of thing usually makes him mad, but he shook his head and laughed along, followed by a soft kiss.

As his tongue slipped sweetly behind her teeth he climbed in beside her and pulled her into him. He pulled away to give her a lingering look and push her hair pack behind her ears.

She waited for him to say those little words but she knew that they weren't going to come out of his mouth. Instead his lips met hers again but only for a moment. She wriggled further into his arms and closed her eyes as they lay back.

This was the start of something new and better for Draco, he could already feel himself changing and he couldn't wait to spend another night with her wrapped up tightly in his arms.

"…Draco…" He heard his name in a hazy voice as he was waking up. "…Draco…" He heard it again and a smile spread on his face as his eyes fluttered open.

She hovered over him, blurry but smiling, with her hair still a mess from sleeping. She stroked his cheek with her hand and he smiled back.

"You're beautiful." He whispered.

She laughed sweetly and kissed his nose. "You're groggy and delusional."

"Never." He reached up to steal a kiss.

"Get up, it's already past six and we need to go." She grinned.

Reluctantly he got out of bed and pulled his jeans over his ankles. He yawned as he stood up to pull them on. He caught sight of Hermione redressing herself and became easily distracted.

She turned around as she buttoned up her jeans. "Would you hurry up? We have to go." She said with a big smile. She couldn't stop smiling when she was with him.

"I'm coming." He pulled on his shirt and as he started to button up his pants she grabbed his arm and dragged him to the door. "Why are we in such a hurry?"

"We're almost here." He raised his eyebrows and she checked her watch.

It was ten past six.

She pushed the door open slowly and peeked through the crack. "Come on." She pulled him out and they closed the door behind them.

He finished doing up his belt and she inched around the corner. "What are you looking at?"

"Shhh!"

_"Did you hear that?"_ Draco heard his own voice from around the corner and took a peek.

There they were, time turner around their necks, eleven hours in the past. And it was also happening right now. Draco knew he would get a headache if he tried to think about it too much.

It was only a moment before they were gone.

"What happened?"

"You know I have the strangest sensation of déjà vu from last night." Hermione reached up to kiss his cheek. "We should get back to our dorms and get ready for class. You look a tad scruffy."

"Who's scruffy?" He raised an eyebrow and smiled.

They said their goodbyes and headed back to their dorms for the day. They still had a whole day of classes before they could fully recover.

Hermione felt exhausted, she had been awake for the best part of the night, on both of her experiences and she would have been happy to just go straight back to bed. There was no way she would, there was too much to do in her classes.

When Draco got back to his common room he headed straight for the mirror. He wasn't that scruffy-looking. He straightened himself up and went to collect his uniform; he had advanced potions first up. Even though it was one of his favourite subjects he wasn't very fond of Slughorn, mainly because he didn't like him. It just made potions class annoying.

Today he didn't feel that irritation at having to deal with the stuffy old professor. He just felt better this morning than he had in a long time. Not even Pansy could bring him back down to the level he had been only weeks earlier.

He strapped up his books and put them in his bag to head off for his first class. He felt strangely motivated to do well in his NEWTS even though he had been given a few less than desirable grades. He took his new seat in potions, at the front-right of the class. The only Slytherin who he used to sit with was Goyle, and he was gone now. He stole a quick glance to the back of the class to where they used to sit and snigger together as first and second year students.

How times have changed.

His thoughts were interrupted by Slughorn and his ability to completely disregard one's personal space.

"Uh, Mr Malfoy, I have received word from the Headmistress requesting that you go straight to her office before the start of class." He said with a loose smile.

"Are you sure I won't miss anything important?" He asked.

"Oh, my no dear boy, just some simple healing potions, well, simple for myself, one of your age may not find them to be so-"

"I'll collect some notes later." He said a little curtly and left his chair to head up to McGonagall's new office.

He hadn't been in the headmaster's office much, a few times for some particularly devious behaviour in the first few years of school but after that he got away with more than he should have. He was about to knock on the door when it swung open before him. Wandering in he looked up at all of the previous headmasters including Dumbledore and the newest addition was Snape. He gave Draco the slightest of smiles and he wasn't sure whether he was wasting his time smiling back at it or not.

"Good morning Mr Malfoy." McGonagall looked up from where she was scratching something in ink to give him one of her forced smiles.

"Morning Headmistress." He said awkwardly as he stood in front of the desk.

"Please, sit." She gestured with her quill to the armchairs before the desk.

He did so begrudgingly. She put down her quill and gave him a quick look-over.

"I don't mean to be rude, but what am I doing here?" He asked with a quizzical look.

"I merely wanted to ask how you were settling back in to life at Hogwarts?" She placed one hand over the other and tilted her head to the side.

He nodded a little. "Do you do this to all students?" He knew that he was being slightly rude but he almost couldn't help it.

"All students who were profoundly affected by the battle, yes." She said.

"Are you worried I'll do something like last time?"

"Mr Malfoy, had I any belief in the idea that you may pose a threat to anyone in the castle do you think I would have allowed you to return to your studies in this institution?"

He looked away and then back up at her. "Why did you let me back here?"

Her expression softened only slightly. "It is my belief that there were many witches and wizards who acted out of fear rather than loyalty. I don't believe that you can be blamed for your actions Draco."

"Is that what the ministry said?" He thought back to the interrogation room he had been forced into and the pressure he had been under to confess things that weren't completely truthful.

"As a matter of fact, the ministry recommended that we did not accept you for the completion of your final year." That hit his quite hard. The look on his face was pure shock. "The choice was mine alone, and I believe that I made the right one so if you don't mind I will ask again. How are you settling in?"

"Um, alright." He said, still a little dumbfounded over the facts that she had laid out for him.

"I would have to say that as of late they have been a little more than that." This time she had a sly twinkle in her eye that he couldn't quite recognise.

"I'm starting to pick up my studies…"

"I am aware of your academic records and current progress Mr Malfoy, it is how you are interacting with the other students that has you here today. I had been worried that you would be chastised for the part you played but as it turns out _some_ students are more willing to forgive than others." He had no idea what to say.

He just sat there staring with his mouth partly open. She didn't know. Impossible.

"I don't know what you mean, everything is the same as it always was." He said.

She smiled a little. "I did not ask you here to embarrass you, I merely wanted to make sure that you were on track and that any distractions, advantageous as they may be, are not going to stop you from reaching your full potential." He just nodded and exhaled heavily.

"I won't hold you back any longer. I am sure that Professor Slughorn will still be mid-way through an old memory of his. You should have plenty of time to make it back before you begin." She smiled and picked up her quill to continue with her paperwork.

He nodded again and got up to leave. He was very much in a daze as the door to the office closed on him .

McGonagall's smile grew substantially larger once he was out of sight. The all-but-lost marauders map sitting beside her ink pot converted back to a plain piece of parchment. During the battle it had been taken from Harry for safe keeping with McGonagall and since then he has not requested it back. She quite liked having the option to keep an eye on her students when they least expected it.

Over the last few weeks she had noticed quite the odd pairing of footsteps on the map. Sometimes it was almost as though one followed the other unintentionally, this was what she had thought it was to start with, or an error on the map. But the map never lies.

Since she first saw the two names meet on the golden parchment she had watched the two of them closely. She would have been a fool to notice nothing different about them. The longer she observed the more she realised that they seemed to complement one another. It was a match that she would never have expected nor that she would have ever thought possible. Yet somehow through the troubled times and strained atmosphere that often hung in the castle walls it had become something. Something quite remarkable.

It seemed like a way to patch a tear in the relationships of the students. The Slytherins had become a segregated part of Hogwarts and this was not something that sat well with the headmistress. Perhaps with the two of them setting an example it would show the others that an individual should not hold the blame for something out of their control and it was hardly the Slytherins who were to blame. Even the first years were being cordoned off and Minerva found it unsettling.

Though she wanted the union of Hogwarts as one, she would let events play out in their own time. She was glad that Draco had not been completely cast away, she didn't believe him to be truly evil after all, just mischievous at heart. She liked to think that she was like Dumbledore in that way. And with that thought in her mind her smile grew wider and she took a moment to remember him.

She looked up at his portrait on the wall and he smiled, looking down over his half-moon spectacles, almost as if he knew what she was thinking.


	26. Chapter 26

Draco had no idea how McGonagall knew about him and Hermione. If this had been a few weeks ago he probably would have flipped out and overreacted but for some reason it didn't seem like a threat. It was almost as though he knew that McGonagall would keep it to herself. He never thought that he might one day trust the old windbag. He was actually starting to like her.

A little, maybe.

The week-long break was only a week away and the more Draco thought about it the happier he became. He hadn't told Hermione that McGonagall knew about them and he probably wouldn't. She hadn't told Hermione, she had told him. That had to mean _something_ didn't it?

She gave him side glances from across the hall every day. She had such a beautiful half smile. She looked over from under her eyelashes and smiled as if she had something funny on her mind, but she wasn't going to tell you. She was stunning.

They saw each other only twice more before the train arrived at the station, waiting to take them home. Hermione couldn't wait to see her parents, she was even more excited about introducing them to Draco. She had never done that kind of thing before but her parents loved her and she knew they would support her no matter what.

A few days before they left she brushed past him in the hallway and slipped a note into his pocket. She could have just sent it to him but she used it as an excuse to be near him. She placed her hand on his chest and tucked the paper into his robes with a lingering touch. All too soon she had to move past him without looking back.

He waited until he was in class before he took it out to read it.

_When we get to Kings Cross catch the train to Nottingham. We'll get picked up from there._

He felt his stomach twist a little, he was nervous. He was only spending a few days there but still. He didn't really want to go home but he supposed that he ought to. He had a sneaking suspicion early in the week that Pansy would try to invite him to her house.

He wasn't wrong.

"Are you going home?" She plopped down beside him at dinner a few nights prior to their departure.

"We have to. That was a stupid question." He said without looking up.

She glared at him and pulled a sarcastic smile across her face. "What I meant was do you really want to stay at your house with _your parents_ for a whole week when I have somewhere far more interesting for you to be?"

"And where is that exactly because spending a week alone at my place sounds pretty good if you ask me." He said coldly.

"Mulciber is holding a meeting. Not too far from your house." Draco looked up at her.

"Mulciber?"

"Keep your voice down. He's staying in this run down old place, the concealment charms are more elaborate than I've ever seen. Meeting is on Thursday. I'll come and get you." She looked excited and it made Draco's stomach churn.

Something was definitely going to happen.

He mumbled something like 'okay' and she began to eat her roast dinner. He had planned to leave Hermione's on Wednesday anyway, he wanted to give her some time with her parents. He didn't really want to head home but he knew he would have to face it at some point.

It was the Saturday night before the departure day and everyone was sitting down to dinner in the great hall.

"Are you sure you can't come to the Burrow for a few days?" Ron said to Hermione as he took a bite of his chicken.

"As much as I love it there I think it would be best if I spend some time with my mum and dad. I haven't really had that much quality time with them. Most of the time after the battle was spent trying to find them." She smiled, still managing to keep Draco a secret from her friends.

"I suppose we see her every day when we're here; we could probably do with time to miss one another." Ginny joked and Hermione laughed.

"My thoughts exactly." She quipped.

"Mum says Teddy's getting bigger, I think she's almost adopted him herself." Ron said through mouthfuls.

"I suppose she's glad for the distraction." Harry said.

"Does anyone know what's going to happen to him when all of you get out into the real world?" Ginny asked.

They all forgot about their food for a moment to think about it, all but Ron of course. The only multitasking he can do is when one of the tasks is eating. Hermione thought that Harry would probably take on a role in his upbringing, it's what Lupin and Tonks would have wanted. Of course he'll be a wizard. With parents like his there was no doubt of that.

All the nostalgic thinking made Hermione a little sad. Things were only going to change more in the future.

Hermione didn't sleep well that night, maybe it was because she knew she would miss them, even if it was only a week. Maybe it was because she was nervous and excited all at the same time. Either way, she was up well into the hours of the morning just thinking about it all.

When she woke up she couldn't remember her dreams, only that she had had some. She slid out of bed and made sure her bag was properly packed before getting dressed and heading down to the common room with her trunk. Ginny was sitting on the couch with her trunk by her side and by the looks of things she had nodded off to sleep again.

Hermione wandered over to her side and gave her a gentle nudge, startling her awake.

"Gosh, was I really asleep? You'd have thought I'd had enough." She rubbed her eyes and sat herself up straight. "All packed?"

"Probably, it doesn't really matter does it?" She smiled.

"I guess not, Hogwarts is as much my home as the Burrow." Ginny yawned.

"Anyone would think you've been sneaking into Harry's dormitory." Hermione joked.

Ginny's cheeks turned as red as her hair. "Well they'd be wrong." She said.

Hermione laughed.

"What's so funny?" Ron came wandering out and plonked himself down next to Ginny.

"We're just discussing the sleeping arrangements of your sister and your best friend." Hermione said through her laughter.

Ron pulled a disgusted face. "I'd much prefer it if we didn't." He said.

They waited for Harry before heading down to breakfast. Hermione sat by Neville as they ate, he told her about bringing Luna to meet his grandmother.

"I know she'll like her. She might be a little cold to start, but she just gets protective is all." He shrugged.

"Well of course she is. Are you going to see Xenophilius at all?"

"Yeah, but only for a few days. Gran wants some time for just the two of us. She's a bit funny like that."

Neville's grandmother has always sounded like a strange woman, but she raised Neville after what happened to his parents so he must see her in a similar way to how others see their mothers. She was very protective and Hermione thought that she and Luna would probably be polar opposites but Luna made Neville happy. Surely his grandmother would see that as soon as she walked through the door.

Hermione glanced over to Draco who didn't seem to be eating much. She used to steal glances from him back before it all happened. Sometimes it would seem as though he was living in slow motion while the rest of the world buzzed around him, completely oblivious to his presence. She used to feel like when she was taking the time to notice she would slow down too, until everything was passing them by.

She broke her gaze and went back into conversation with Neville. Before long they were all heading to the station, then boarding the never-changing Hogwarts Express back to Kings Cross station. Hermione dozed off a little on the way. When she was jolted awake by the train she saw that Ginny had been doing the same thing and the boys had wandered off to different compartments to talk to people.

The two of them rolled their eyes at one another and laughed. It was an hour after midday when the train started to pull into platform 9 ¾. Hermione had to wait for another train so she hugged everyone goodbye as she made her way to her platform. She glanced back to see Arthur greeting the three of them with open arms.

She felt a pang of longing but she knew that she had all the time in the world after she finished school to spend time with them. With that thought she smiled and turned to continue to her platform.

As she waited for her train, it didn't arrive for another fifteen minutes, she looked around to see if Draco was here yet. She hoped he didn't get lost of misguided.

There were only a few other students catching the train with her and it wasn't long before she saw the sleek blonde hair flash in the corner of her eye. She looked over to see him standing nervously on the other side of the platform. Slowly she walked over to stand by him, making sure that no one else was watching the two of them.

"Are you alright?" She asked with a smile.

"Yes, of course, why wouldn't I be?" He said hurriedly.

"Well it's just that your tie is straighter than usual and you seem to have put some real effort into your hair this morning. You know you don't have to be so nervous."

He looked over at her anxiously and nodded a little. "I always put this much effort into my hair. It's not my fault that you seem to catch me at the end of the day when it's lost some of its neatness." She laughed and he turned away.

"Oh don't be like that; I like you when you're a little scruffy." She reached out and brushed his fingertips for a second.

"I never said scruffy. I'm not scruffy."

"Not now you're not."

"I don't get scruffy."

"Everyone gets scruffy."

"I prefer to think of it as dishevelled."

"You know dishevelled is just a synonym for scruffy."

"Can we just get on the train?" He said, a hint of annoyance in his voice but an arrogant smile on his face.

Hermione laughed and they waited for the train to pull in. They didn't sit together for the journey. It was just a habit from school. There were still a few students from Hogwarts in their compartment and so they sat a few rows from one another. They still faced one another so that they could share the occasional gaze and when they reached the Nottingham station they both stood up and dragged their trunks out.

The train pulled away again and Draco looked down at his pocket watch to see that it was almost four.

"Come on, I see my father." Hermione started walking and Draco exhaled heavily before following her.

He watched her walk up to the man in a grey overcoat with a big smile on her face and let go of her trunk to give him a hug.

"You're finally here! I've been waiting for about twenty minutes." Her father said with a beaming smile not unlike his daughters.

"I told you it would probably be four before we got here." She laughed and stepped back to pick up her trunk again.

"Yes well, better to be early than late. And you must be Draco! I'm Michael. Hermione's told us a fair bit about you." He reached out to shake Draco's hand with a warm expression on his face.

"All good I hope." He said nervously giving him a firm albeit clammy hand to shake.

"Well what else?" He laughed heartily and took Hermione's trunk as they started the walk to the car.

They walked up to a silver Lexus and Mr Granger clicked a button on his keys which seemed to do nothing at first but Draco soon realised that it must have opened the doors. Mr Granger opened the trunk of the car to lift Hermione's bag in first. He leaned over to help Draco lift his in next.

"I keep telling them that I could put an extension charm in there to make it easier but he thinks it would just make them very uneasy." Hermione smiled as she opened the door and climbed into the back seat.

"I think it's best to leave the magic to my daughter. Top in all her classes; we're both very proud of her." He beamed to Draco and shut the boot of the car.

They walked around to get into the car. Mr Granger hopped in, buckled his seatbelt and looked back at the two of them in the mirror. "Next stop, Clifton."

Hermione smiled and shook her head a little. She loved her father and his little quirks. Draco on the other hand was sitting like a statue with a nervous look on his face. Hermione reached over and squeezed his hand a little so he looked over. With a reassuring little smile he let out the air he had been holding inside and she laughed.

She was so happy to be exactly where she was.

They drove through the packed suburbs with the houses that looked exactly alike and the roads that wound in circles. This reminded Draco of his own neighbourhood. It was just as bleak and grey though the houses were much more substantial in size. Mr Granger took a left turn that led them out of the maze of identical houses and down through a little woodland road that came out to an expanse of fields with little town houses. More houses started appearing until they were back in the suburbs, but these ones were different. They all had a little more character. One had two stories and a luscious green lawn out the front, another was single with a garden bed of wildflowers and a cobblestone path that wound its way over the grass. He had never been somewhere like this.

Hermione smiled as they pulled into her street and pulled up to number twelve.

"Home sweet home!" Mr Granger pulled on the handbrake and unclicked his seat belt.

"Come on." Hermione smiled at Draco before she opened the door to hop out.

Draco climbed out slowly and looked over at the house. It was two story with a path leading up to the house, there was a small flowerbed and a welcome mat sitting in front of the double wooden doors. He jumped slightly as Mr Granger clapped his hand down on his shoulder.

"She's pretty impressive isn't she? You know I planted those trees myself." Draco could see that he was proud of his home.

And he was right, he was very impressed.

"Dad, Draco's house is probably five time this size." Hermione said as she started pulling her trunk out of the car.

"Even so, the boy can tell something great when he sees it, can't you son?" He beamed at Draco and put his arm around his shoulder.

"It's very nice… I … I like the … path." He said.

Hermione smiled to herself; he was so nervous.

"Oh you do? I laid those stones back before we'd even moved in! We built this place you see…" He began going on and on about the house and its different components as he unloaded the luggage and walked them to the door.

He was going on and on about how they had repainted the hallway and living room so many times that he could hardly remember what colour it had started when they heard a woman's voice from around the corner.

"Oh you're back so soon!" Hermione's mother walked out of the kitchen to greet them with a warm smile. "Darling! Oh, I've missed you!" She threw her arms around Hermione and squeezed her tight.

"Come now Denise, don't suffocate the poor girl." Her father said.

"I'm fine dad." Hermione beamed wider than Draco had ever seen.

"So this is Draco." Mrs Granger looked him up and down and he gave her a polite smile. "It's wonderful to meet you; I do hope you'll make yourself at home." She walked over and gave him a welcoming kiss on the cheek.

"Nice to meet you too." He mumbled.

"Well I'm in the middle of tea dear and I would use your help with the mashed potatoes so if you'll come and give me a hand these two can get settled in." Mrs Granger looked expectantly at her husband.

"Well I was in the middle of a story." He said.

"Yes, yes, you painted the hallways and re-did the carpets and picked out the upholstery; I'm sure they've head quite enough for one day. You can show Draco to the guest room sweet heart." As she walked back into the kitchen she looked back to tell Hermione the last part.

"Well of course when you say it like that it sounds rather dull but I think…" Their voices trailed off as they turned the corner.

Hermione turned to Draco. "Sorry about him, he tends to get a little over excited. Having two magical people in the house has turned him into bit of a teenager really."

"No, I was actually interested." Hermione raised an eyebrow. "People don't usually take the time to tell me little things like that."

Her face softened and he decided that he wouldn't let her feel sorry for him anymore on this day. "So show me this guest room, it has a view I expect. I should hope so anyway." He said arrogantly and she laughed.

"Come on." She flicked her wand at the suitcases and they followed the two of them upstairs.

She opened one door and her case floated through and she walked a little further down the hall and opened a second door. They walked into a moderately sized bedroom and Draco's trunk hit the floor with a little thud. Hermione walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains so that light flooded the room.

Draco looked around. There was a double bed in the centre and a dresser set opposite it. It was simple but somehow it was warm and inviting.

"Why didn't you just use that spell to get the cases out of the car?" He asked as he looked out of the window.

"I don't like to use such menial magic in front of my parents." She sat down on the bed. "I think it makes them feel a little useless. I mean, I could have cast a spell that helped my mother finish the dinner, I could have had it do the entire dinner for her but then what would she do? And I could have loaded the trunks into the car and out of it but then my dad wouldn't feel like he's doing anything to help. Sometimes it's nice to just… not use my magic." She shrugged and he almost couldn't believe how considerate she was.

She is the cleverest witch of their age and it shows, in everything. Not only can she master almost any magical task set before her, but she also knows exactly when magic isn't necessary. Draco sat down beside her and cupped her face in his hand, stealing a lingering kiss.

He pulled his lips back only inches and looked down at her.

"What was that for?" she whispered as her eyes fluttered open.

"It was because I'm… happy." He said.

"Well hold that thought because if I know my father he's about to dive into a whole lot of stories about dentistry and it's really not that interesting a profession." He laughed and kissed her again.

He savoured her warm lips and heavenly taste, this trip may only last a few days but it has already been one to remember.


	27. Chapter 27

They sat together on the guest bed for a while as Hermione's parents finished off dinner.

"Did you grow up in this house?" Draco asked.

"We moved here when I was about three years old. My parents had just started up their own clinic before they had me and they worked really hard to get everything up and running. I think for the first few years of my life we lived in a small flat in the built up part of town. But they're good at their jobs and when they got enough money they built this place and we moved in. Nowhere else would really feel like home." She looked over at him and gave him a smile. "Except for Hogwarts."

Draco smiled back, but it was a hollow one. He wished he knew what it felt like to have such a strong feeling of safety and security enough to call somewhere home. He had felt it once, but the big mansion that he calls his house is very far from a home now.

"Have you always lived in the same place?" She looked over expectantly.

He shrugged. "It's the only place I remember."

"Do you not like to talk about anything Draco?"

He gave another shrug and looked away from her. "Why say anything when there is nothing important to say?"

"That's how you get to know someone. I'm sure people wouldn't know me half as well as they do if I didn't do a lot of my thinking aloud."

"Well my house is just that; a house. As far as I know I didn't live anywhere else."

"Okay." She put up her hand as if to stop him from continuing on to an angry state of being and looked away.

He sighed, but not with annoyance at her, with himself. He could see that all she was trying to do was get him to open up. He just couldn't quite force everything all at once. He knew that she understood but part of him was scared that one day she just wouldn't put up with it anymore. That was probably the one thing that made him try to open up.

"I would like to see the place you lived in. They say a person's room can tell you a lot about them. I mean, I would probably have to drink some polyjuice potion to even walk through the doors but still."

"The state they were in last time I saw them I wouldn't be surprised if you walked in and set of a whole box-load of stink bombs without their noticing." He still wasn't looking at her so she put a hand on his knee and leant her head against his shoulder.

"You'll have to promise to show me one day." She said.

He didn't reply.

"Dinner's ready sweetheart!" Mrs Granger called from downstairs.

Hermione stood up and put her hands in her jeans pockets. "We better get down there."

Draco stood up silently and followed her into the dining room where there were candles lit on the table and some light music playing on the radio.

"We thought we'd have a nice big meal, seeing as we didn't see you for Christmas." Mr Granger said as they took their seats around the rectangular table.

"You really should have come with us to Switzerland darling, it was just beautiful." Mrs Granger said.

"I told you, I wanted the two of you to have a nice vacation together, besides, I had a lot of study to do."

Her mother had made a roast chicken for dinner with three different kinds of potatoes, vegetables and salad, and even a Yorkshire pudding. As they helped themselves to the food in the centre Draco seemed to sit awkwardly without reaching for anything.

"Come now, eat up boy. You look like you could use a bit of stuffing in you!" Mr Granger chuckled.

"I know it's an odd mix but I know what my Hermione likes and I wanted her to have all of her favourites on her first night back home." Her mother gave Hermione a loving smile from across the table.

"You know you could have staggered it out over the week." She laughed.

As they filled their plates Draco slowly reached for a few bits and pieces.

"I know, but I wanted to do something special."

"She's spent all day in that kitchen, you wait until you see what's for desert. Don't fill yourself up too much!" Mr Granger chuckled.

As they settled in to eat Hermione began a conversation with her mother and Draco was left to converse with her dad.

"So tell me… What are you planning on doing when you finish school?" Mr Granger asked through mouthfuls.

"I… uh… well I guess I'm just hoping to pass my NEWTS." He said nervously.

Mr Granger nodded. "You remind me of me at your age. So many things to do and not enough time to think. Why, would you believe that I considered becoming a carpenter at one point? Fancy that, I can't imagine how different my life would have been. But I soon realised that dentistry was my passion. I wanted to help people. Most people ask me, 'why not a doctor? Or even a nurse?' and you know what I tell them?" Draco wasn't sure whether to say anything or not so he just tilted his head to the side a little. "I tell them that teeth are in a world of their own. You get one set of baby teeth and then the adults come pushing their way through but that's it. You can fix everything else… well, more or less… with medicines and surgeries and all the rest but working with teeth is working with something precious. You only have one shot to get it right. It's a fine art, dentistry. Really it is." He took another bit of his food before Mrs Granger piped up.

"Oh darling, you're not giving him the 'teeth are a gift' talk are you? I do apologize for my husband, he doesn't really know when to stop." She opened her eyes wide and shook her head with a smile so similar to her daughter's that it was almost strange.

Mr Granger waved his hand at her as he continued to eat.

"I don't mind, honestly, we don't really have anything like that in our world. It's quite interesting actually." Draco said.

Mr Granger seemed to sit up a little straighter and prouder with that and Mrs Granger merely gave Hermione a sly smile and took another bite of her food. Draco gulped.

After sitting through dinner and listening to Mr Granger detail some of his more interesting cases Mrs Granger cleared the table and went to fetch the dessert.

"Michael, Jimmy Smith's root canal can wait until later, would you come and give me a hand with these plates?" She called from around the corner.

Draco was almost glad because the story he was in the middle of made him clench his jaw at the thought of some of the things that can go wrong with your teeth. When they were alone Hermione reached over and put her hand over his.

"Thank you for humouring my dad, he enjoys telling his stories."

"Really, I don't mind. Though that last one is making me glad that I don't have to go to any dentist." He smiled nervously, his perfect white teeth sparkling in the candlelight.

"Something tells me that you wouldn't ever have to. Try not to show off those things in front of my dad, he'll insist on taking you down to the office for an examination." She shook her head but in an adoring kind of way.

Her father may be slightly obsessive when it comes to teeth and oral hygiene but she wouldn't have it any other way.

When they walked back in they were carrying a large dish of apple pie and a bowl of homemade ice-cream. By the time they finished they were so full that they could hardly move.

"That was beautiful sweetheart." Mr Granger smiled over at his wife.

"Thank you." Draco said.

"You are most welcome." She reached over and gave him a squeeze on the arm.

He used most of his willpower not to flinch away from her; he knew that probably wouldn't look so good for him. But she was kind and gentle and he understood now where Hermione had learned it all.

"So tomorrow we're taking the two of you out for dinner." Mr Granger beamed.

"Dad, you really don't need to go to any trouble." Hermione said.

"I insist, in fact I won't take no for an answer. And you just let us know if there's anything you want to do while we're back here." He grinned at the two of them.

"Well I think that for now it's time for bed. I'm rather exhausted really." Mrs Granger yawned slightly.

"Indeed it is." Mr Granger followed suit with a yawn of his own.

"Well let us clear the dishes away while you go to bed, I can show Draco the rest of the house after." Hermione said.

Her parents exchanged a glance and Draco felt himself getting a little uneasy.

"I'll help you take them into the kitchen dear." Mrs Granger started gathering some dishes with Hermione and Draco looked up with terrified eyes.

"You'll be fine." Hermione whispered to him as she took away their plates into the kitchen.

Draco turned slowly to Mr Granger who was sitting with his arms folded and his eyes glued to Draco. He gulped a little and felt like he may even start sweating.

"Just so we're clear…" He began, Draco's face becoming even paler – if that were possible. "There's to be no funny business while you're here. You may nearly be adults but this is my house and that's my little girl in there."

"Believe me sir I had no intention of… I mean, I wouldn't dream of it sir, honestly." He said, though now that he mentioned it he probably will dream of it, which was annoying.

He eyed Draco suspiciously. "Now you listen here… I told you to call me Michael, none of this 'sir' business." His face softened into a warm smile and he gave Draco a loud clap on the shoulder.

"Oh, I remember when I was your age, I had just started to date my first real girlfriend and she took me to meet her father. Let me tell you that I had never been so scared, and the man was ginormous. Must have been at least six and a half foot tall. And he followed me around that house with a stun gun for Christ's sake! A _stun gun_! I don't even know if that is legal, anyway, probably for the best that we ended on good terms, me and the girl, else I would have had to leave the country! Anyway after that I promised myself that if I ever had a daughter I wouldn't scare the pants off anyone she brought home… oh… wait that was probably a bad turn of phrase…" As he continued to spill everything that was coming to memory Hermione was in the kitchen having a similar talk with her mother.

"Mum, you really don't need to tell me all of this." She wished she could just leave the room at that moment, mostly to save Draco from the horrors that were most likely playing out in the next room.

"I know, you're such a responsible girl but I don't know if they teach you the same things that they taught us at our schools."

"Mum, really, I know anything that you're about to tell me so please spare us both the awkwardness." They both chuckled nervously.

"You are such a wonderful girl, did you know that? I can see that Draco thinks that way about you too. You should see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one's looking." Hermione's cheeks flushed and her mother pulled her into a hug. "You just be safe and don't feel like you _have_ to do anything." She said quickly.

Hermione grumbled. "Mum!" She started laughing again and walked out into the dining room.

"… and I still don't think he likes me all that much, and the man is almost eighty. You'd think he would be able to let something go but he has held a grudge for twenty-three years now!" Draco actually managed to laugh at that last story.

"Oh you're not telling him about how my father gave you a good talking to are you?" Mrs Granger leaned over to Draco. "He will talk until the sun comes up if you let him so get out when you can." She winked and went to stand by her husband. "Come on Michael, time for bed I think. We'll leave them to finish the dishes, I'm sure it will only take them a moment."

Mr Granger stood up with a groan and started to follow his wife into their bedroom.

"You don't have to worry, I don't have a stun gun tucked away anywhere." He laughed. "Oh but don't get too cocky, I may not-"

"Michael! Will you give it a rest for one night?" Mrs Granger called out from the bedroom.

Mr Granger rolled his eyes and gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek before waving at Draco and trudging off to the bedroom.

Hermione shook her head with a smile. "You know I think they're even more mental than before. I hope my dad didn't make it too awkward for you."

"Not really, it was a strange experience but I think I'll survive." Hermione walked over and sat down on his lap.

She gave him a kiss that made him forget everything around him and focus on only how it felt to have his arms around her. Their kiss deepened and he felt himself smiling through it because for the next three days they didn't need to hide from anyone. Her parents knew that they were together and welcomed him with open arms. They actually accepted him.

Not that they really knew him.

He pulled away and Hermione snuggled into him. "We should get the dishes done for your parents." He slipped out from under her and she just watched him for a moment as he walked into the kitchen.

She soon followed.

They took out their wands and soon enough the sponges were scrubbing plates and the dish towels were drying. Draco stood and watched as plates and cutlery whizzed about trying to get to the right draws and cupboards. He flinched a little when Hermione pressed herself against him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He pulled her into him tighter and breathed in deeply.

She smelt so beautiful, even after a long day, she was still so perfect. He closed his eyes and just let himself melt in this moment with her. He swayed her gently and cupped the back of her head with his hand. Nothing had ever felt so perfect.

It didn't take long for the room to be clean and the dishes to clear themselves away so they headed upstairs. Draco gave Hermione a kiss goodnight and they headed into their rooms. She was going to show him around but he told her that he needed to have a good night's sleep.

His room was small but there was quite a pretty view of the street from his window. He walked over to the frame and gave it a little jiggle. He was able to open it slightly so that a small breeze came drifting through.

He stripped down and rummaged through his trunk for a shirt to sleep in and a pair of boxers. As he climbed into the bed he smiled a little to himself. It was nice to be somewhere different, somewhere that he wasn't just known as a Malfoy, or one of _them_.

Here, he was just Draco, the _boyfriend_ of one of his classmates. It could almost have been normal, except he knew the truth. He sighed to himself.

He was starting to like being called by his name again; it made him feel warm when Hermione said it. It made him feel important. It made him feel like he meant something.

The door creaked and he sat up with a jolt.

"Relax, it's just me." Hermione's voice drifted through the door in a subtle whisper.

"What are you doing?" He asked as she slid in beside him.

"What do you think I'm doing?" She chuckled a little.

"I think you should just go back to your room."

"Are you scared of what my dad said?"

"No." He said defensively.

"I think you are."

"I'm not. I just don't think it's a good idea." He said as she wriggled closer and rested her head on his chest. "Really."

She sighed. "Alright, I'll leave if you want, but just let me lie here with you for a while?"

He wasn't going to argue with that. He could have fallen asleep then and there but he was sure to stay awake. He wanted to do the right thing by her parents. If they thought he was someone else then he was going to make sure he was that person because it wasn't just the person they thought he was, it was the person he wanted to be.


	28. Chapter 28

Hermione lay with him for a while more before she felt her eyes growing heavy. It wasn't any time at all before she could barely keep them open. She kissed him goodnight and crept out of his room so as not to wake her parents and have them thinking all sorts of nonsense.

She climbed into her cold bed and sighed. _Why couldn't he go back to breaking the rules?_ She chuckled to herself. She never thought she would think something like that. Maybe it was just that she wanted to fall asleep back in his arms.

She wasn't going to complain though, she loved the fact that he wanted to impress her parents and become a better person for her.

_So why do I feel guilty?_

Suddenly she was so very awake. She sighed again. He was changing so much for her, it almost seemed unfair that she was letting him.

_It's what he wants… or is it? How am I supposed to know when he never talks to me?_

She grunted and rolled over, planting her face firmly into the pillow. Trying to get him to open up is like trying to tell a centaur how to behave; or like pulling teeth.

How was she going to find out whether all of this was something that he wanted for himself or what he thought that she wanted of him? But why would he have approached her in the first place if he didn't want to change something? It was all too much to think about really. For now she was just going to have to accept the fact that everything in his mind was a tightly guarded secret

Soon enough, the sleep that had been evading her since she climbed into bed began to overcome her. It didn't take long for her to drift off to sleep.

The next morning she woke up and stretched out, still groggy and sleepy. She looked over at the clock and saw that it was already nine.

_Had I really slept in for that long?_ She thought to herself as she reluctantly swung her legs over the side of the bed and rubbed her eyes. She stretched her body out and sighed. When she saw her hair in the mirror she pulled a face and decided that she didn't want Draco to see her looking so dishevelled and brushed it down a little before heading downstairs.

She could already hear her parents as she walked down the stairs. There was laughter coming from the kitchen and when she rounded the corner she was surprised to see Draco sitting at the bench with her mother.

The moment he saw her he gave her a big smile and her mother turned around to do the same.

"Morning sweetheart, I was beginning to wonder if you were even still here." She chuckled. "Draco and I were just discussing our love of books, though I must say that I have not heard of half of his favourites, I suppose that's the price I pay for being a muddle."

"I think you mean muggle, mum." Hermione said lightly.

She waved her hands about and made a tsk sound. "Muddle, muggle, it doesn't matter how you say it dear, it's probably true. You will have to get me a copy of that one you were talking about Draco, I would love to read it." She put a hand over Draco's and gave it a little squeeze. "What was it called again?"

"Uh, Blue Cauldron." He said as his eyes darted up to Hermione and back to her mother.

"I shall have to get Hermione to go looking." She whispered. "Your father is just having a shower, we thought we could go for a wander through Arboretum Park before lunch." She said, turning back to Hermione.

"Yeah, that sounds nice." Hermione replied, rubbing her eyes a little.

"Good, well, I'll go and see what's taking your father so long while you get some breakfast." She hopped up and gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek before wandering off into her bedroom.

Draco sat looking a little awkward in the chair. "Why do you look so traumatised? Sorry that I slept so long, I hope my mother didn't ramble too much." Hermione said.

"I didn't mind, honestly. I actually… quite liked it."

Hermione smiled and sat on his lap, giving him a fleeting kiss. "So what's this book you were telling my mother about?"

"Oh, just one I've read." He shrugged.

She felt like screaming right in his face. _Sure, he can talk to my mother but he closes up for me?_ She just couldn't understand him. "I will find out you know, even if it is just to appease my mother." She gave him a little smile and stood up to make herself some breakfast.

Draco had already eaten, Hermione's mother had insisted on making something for him. He thought that he probably had a perpetual pinkness to his cheeks having been given all this attention. It was quite unusual for him.

Hermione finished her breakfast and her parents walked out and sat by the table as they waited for her to grab a warmer coat before heading out for the day.

As they drove the short distance to the Arboretum Draco finally saw everything around him in such colour. He noticed the green of the grass that was coming through after the winter snow, he noticed the red brick roof panels on the houses down the laneways, even the small yellow buds on the new plants; everything seems so different now.

He couldn't remember the last time his parents took him out anywhere, or let him invite someone to their home who wasn't a Slytherin… or worse… Hermione's parents didn't care about any of that. Maybe that was because they were muggles and didn't know, but that didn't matter to him.

They parked outside the visitors centre at the Arboretum and went for a wander through it. Draco wasn't too sure what the point of all this was but he enjoyed it all the same. He liked listening to Hermione's father talk about working here when he was in high school. Muggle jobs were actually interesting, in the fact that they seem rather aimless and he's not sure why they would like to do them, but that was the fascinating part.

They decided to take a walk around the park; Hermione hoped that it would be a brisk one because it was a little chilly. She walked with her mother and discussed her exams while Draco walked alongside her father; who was still going on and on about his past jobs.

The man could definitely talk.

"I suppose you have a whole other spectrum of job choices ahead of you. If I were in your shoes my head would be absolutely spinning." He said.

"It's a bit like that, but I couldn't imagine doing any of your jobs either. I've never even heard of an electrician." Draco said.

He was starting to feel more comfortable around her parents now.

"Are your parents both magical?"

"Yes, they are." Draco gritted his teeth, he really didn't want to talk about them but he didn't want to be rude either.

"So I suppose you're about as used to all this as we were those few times we visited diagonal alley with Hermione." Draco smiled as he mispronounced the name but he didn't correct him.

"It does feel a bit like that." He smiled.

"Well, if you ever need anything, advice or maybe an electrician, you can count on me." He put an arm around Draco's shoulder.

"Thanks."

Hermione and her mother were walking a little way behind the other two and Hermione smiled as she saw her father embrace Draco. She just felt so happy in that moment.

"Your dad seems to have really taken a shine to Draco." Her mother gave her a little nudge.

"I suppose he has. How long do you think we should wait before saving him from any more of dad's stories?"

Her mother laughed. "You know what; I think he rather enjoys it. You should have seen him ranting and raving about his books this morning. You'd think he had no one to talk about them with." She gave Hermione a look that she tried to avoid. There was sure to be some kind of intense questioning to follow.

"I suppose he just loves his books."

"You suppose or you know?" Hermione looked over at her mother and sighed.

"He doesn't much like to talk about himself with me; I think he's just worried about what I would think."

"Perhaps he just needs a little bit more of a push."

Hermione had thought about it, but their relationship had been so volatile early on that she didn't want it to turn back into that. She knew that any arguments that they had would probably turn into those kinds of fights eventually but she didn't want to induce them when they weren't necessary.

"The charity dinner for the community centre is on tonight, we were thinking about going like usual, unless you would rather go out somewhere nice." Her mother said.

"No, I love the dinner. I'm sure Draco will enjoy it."

"You might even be able to coax him up to dance." Her mother laughed and linked arms with Hermione as they walked a little faster to catch up.

"So what is this thing we're going to?" Draco asked as they sat up in the guest bedroom later in the afternoon.

"It's a dinner for charity, you buy a ticket at the door and get a meal. There's dancing and music, and my mother usually lets me have a glass of champagne. It's no butterbeer but it's alright." She smiled hopefully.

"I don't really like to dance much; the ball back in fourth year was bad enough." He shrugged as he sat back against the headboard.

Hermione crawled up to him and pressed her lips against his. "Maybe you could manage just one?" She whispered.

He put a hand on the side of her face and pulled her into him. He parted his lips around hers and closed his eyes, savouring the moment. He felt her hand press against his chest and rested his other hand over it. He felt his heart beat through their hands and snuck his tongue behind her teeth. She let her hand slip down over his stomach and he pulled it back up to his shoulder. Her lips tightened into a smile under their kiss and she whispered against his lips.

"You're so cautious." She laughed.

He curled his lips up into a smile and in one swift move he was hovering his body over hers with a smirk firmly plastered on his face. "You think it's funny do you?" She laughed harder and he pressed himself against her with a hard kiss that, had she been standing, would have knocked her off her feet.

She loved the way his lips felt, the way they tasted. Everything about him intoxicated her. Perhaps it was because it was almost like indulging in a fantasy from a better time. Even back then when she hated him, she couldn't deny the fact that he was attractive, darkness and all.

Just as her fingers had started tangling in his hair, her mother called out from downstairs causing Draco to leap back to the end of the bed.

"Hermione! Did you want to come out and get that hair cut before we go out tonight?" She tried to hide the smile on her face as she looked over at Draco.

"Yes! I'll be down soon." She yelled back. "Are you alright?" She laughed.

"Of course." He said stiffly.

She giggled again and stood up to kiss his forehead. "I won't be long, just find a good book or something, I hear you're quite fond of them." She raised her eyebrows and he scowled over at her before she left.

Hopefully that would make him think a little.

As she headed out with her mother and her father was having an afternoon nap Draco was alone for the first time in what seemed like a long time. Silence may have been a solace for him once, but now he was wishing there was someone around to talk to.

He took it upon himself to look around the house a little more. He walked through the small kitchen and into the living area where there was a small television set and a couch with a rocking armchair. He ran his hand over the furniture as he passed it, there was a fireplace on one side of the room with old pictures and a few cards left over from Christmas. One of the pictures caught his eye; it was Hermione and her mother at what must have been her fifth or sixth birthday party.

She was sitting behind her cake with a sparking candle lit on top and beaming straight up at the camera. If only muggle pictures were like wizard ones.

"She was a beautiful child wasn't she?" Draco jumped as Hermione's father seemed to pop up out of nowhere.

"Sorry, I was just-"

"Don't apologise boy! I'm sorry if I startled you, please feel free to look around however you like. Denise was telling me that you're quite the avid reader, would you like to take a look at our collection?" He offered.

"Uh… well yes, okay."

Mr Granger led him down the hall to his study where there was a stocked bookshelf against one of the walls. Though it paled in comparison to his library at home, he was sure that not one of those books was the same.

"Have you read this one?" Mr Granger pulled a book off the second shelf and passed it over to him.

_David Copperfield_.

"No, I've never heard of it." Draco shrugged.

"Never heard of it! Why, it's a classic!" Mr Granger sounded almost horrified. "Keep it."

"I couldn't take it." Draco protested.

"I insist, I have more than just the one copy I'm sure of it. Please take it, and promise you'll read it." He grinned back at Draco before he headed out of the room.

It was almost two hours later when Hermione returned home with her mother, Draco had made it about a quarter of the way through David Copperfield and was just sitting on his bed. Hermione poked her head around the corner with a little smile.

"Hey, sorry I was longer than I expected." Draco put the book down and smiled back without a word. "We're probably heading out in about an hour, in case you were wondering."

"Okay."

"I guess I'll just be getting ready then." She slipped away and wondered why he had seemed so far away.

He was just enjoying the book.

Hermione walked into her room and closed the door. As she looked through her closet she could almost understand what the other girls meant when they said that they had _nothing_ to wear, despite a fully stocked wardrobe. She wanted something that would impress Draco, but at the same time she thought that she was being ridiculous. She shouldn't let someone else govern what she wears.

She eventually settled on a modest red dress that sat above her knees and had a sweetheart neckline. She found a pair of black kitten heels to match. She wasn't the flashiest girl around, but she wouldn't be able to stand herself if she was. Her mind drifted to Pansy and she felt a pang of jealousy. Of course he had found her attractive, what boy wouldn't? Though in Hermione's opinion she was an overstuffed cocktail frank with a pug face.

She laughed at herself as she thought so spitefully about Pansy. She didn't feel guilty though, Pansy had always been ten times more spiteful than Hermione, and that was just to her face.

She pulled her trench coat over her shoulders, knowing it would be cold outside before she headed downstairs.

Draco considered it lucky that he had developed a decent sense of style in the last few years; he had plenty of nice things to wear. He pulled on some black pants and a dark red shirt under his black blazer before giving his hair a very brief brush and heading downstairs for dinner.

Hermione looked beautiful as always, and even though he didn't notice any difference with her hair he whispered to her.

"It looks very nice."

"Shall we be off then?" Mrs Granger asked as she tucked her purse under her arm and put in her earrings.

"Let's get going!" Mr Granger said.

They headed outside and into the car for their dinner. Every time they left the safe haven of the house Draco felt a little uneasy. There was always the possibility of someone seeing them who knew all about their past. He wasn't ready for people to find out yet. He wasn't ready to make this hard.

They reached the hall and Mr Granger bought tickets for the four of them and they headed inside. As they walked through the doors Draco looked around at all the other muggles. They were dressed in such dull clothing and chattering about such strange things. As they headed to their table Hermione took off her trench coat and Draco almost walked into a man holding a pocket watch.

She was completely stunning.

She was beyond beautiful.

As they sat down he put his hand on her shoulder and whispered in her ear, "You look amazing." She smiled shyly and kissed his cheek.

All through their meal he couldn't stop looking at her and she tried to avoid his eyes even though she could feel his gaze scorching her all over. She laughed as she watched her parents dancing the quickstep on the dance floor.

They looked so happy together and she wished that one day she could be that happy with someone. She looked over quickly and under her eyelashes at Draco just as the music began to slow down.

[press play]

His eyes flickered over to her and her gaze softened. With a small sigh he stood up and took her hand in his.

"Are you asking me to dance?" She said tenderly.

"Would you just stand up?" He said.

She laced her fingers with his as he led her over to the dance floor. He looked as though he would rather be anywhere else but when he slipped his hand around her waist and pulled her into him his eyes said something entirely different.

Their bodies swayed gently to the song that neither of them had ever heard. She rested her head on his shoulder and listened to his heart beating even louder than the music. She couldn't imagine ever feeling better.

His body was warm and comforting, she felt so safe and secure in his arms. His hands slid even further around her and she looked up into his eyes. Those words were itching to come out of his mouth but he knew he could never do it. He just couldn't believe that he could feel it, or that she could feel the same.

"Do you ever just wish that things were different?" Hermione asked softly.

"What do you mean?"

"Look at them," she looked around at all the muggle couples, "they don't have to worry about what other people would think or constantly look over their shoulders in case someone notices them together. Don't you think it would be easier?"

"Maybe it would be." He tilted his head a little and gazed down at her.

"Do you still see me as one of them?" she whispered.

"I… I don't know what you mean." He shook his head and gulped.

"Is that why you won't talk about yourself with me? Are you afraid that I'll think less of you because of who you are and the sides we represented?" She looked so vulnerable, like she was scared that he would snap.

Instead he craned his neck and kissed her lightly on the lips. For a moment she indulged, but pulled away just as fast. "Draco…"

"It's not because of our sides. I don't know how to… to act. I don't want you to think… I'm not good at this." He twirled them around a little and this time she reached up to kiss him.

"Can you just… be you? I don't know who you are, only what you've shown me. I just want to know _you_."

No one had ever told him that before; and meant it. "Okay." He said.

She looped her arms around his neck and gave him a long hard kiss that said more than she ever had. He held her sides in his hands and relished her touch.

He was only here for a few more days but right now, the idea of leaving was the farthest thing from his mind.


	29. Chapter 29

The next few days seemed to fly by in a blur of ecstasy. As far as Draco was concerned there wasn't enough time in the world that he could spend here. As his last day came to a close he could feel the cold tendrils starting to latch onto him again. He tried to resist them but he could feel the anxiety building up inside him.

"Are you sure you have to leave? You're welcome to stay here you know." Hermione said as they lay together in his guest bed on that last night.

"I'm not staying. I'm going home." He said sternly.

He couldn't just look away forever; he had to go back at some point, right? Besides, if he wasn't there, Pansy would perform a curse to turn him inside out.

"Are you sure?"

"Maybe I want to go back, alright?" He snapped.

She didn't say anything back, she could feel the tension building inside him and she knew that when he felt it his anger started to become more pronounced. She felt him release a sigh.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

She nodded into his chest before he sat up and ran a hand through his hair anxiously.

"Maybe we could just try and forget." She said softly.

He scoffed. "Yeah, that sounds possible."

"Even if it's just for one night we could-"

"What? We could pretend like I don't have to go back to a miserably empty house and you don't have a perfect life?" He said coldly.

"I don't have a perfect life." He scoffed again and she stood up and walked out of the room without another word.

Sometimes he was just so infuriating. She stormed into her bedroom and closed the door quite loudly. Her parents were already in bed so odds are they wouldn't have noticed that.

Draco tightened his fingers around the bed sheets. He didn't mean to get her upset; he just seems to have that effect on her sometimes. He breathed deeply for a minute before heading out to knock quietly on her door.

"Hermione, I didn't mean it." He pressed his fingers against the door. "I'm sorry."

She opened the door a little and looked out. "You know you really have to learn to control the way you speak to people when you're angry. It's all good and well to feel like that sometimes but you can't go around making other people feel bad about themselves. It's not always their fault." She said.

"I know." He sighed, still trying to calm himself down. "Can I come in then?"

"No, we'll go to your room." She tried to squeeze out of the small space between the door and the frame but Draco penned her in and tilted his head a little.

"You know I've been here almost three days now and you've never let me into your room. Is there something you're trying to hide in there?" He tried to look past her but she forced herself through the gap and pulled the door shut behind her.

"No, there's not." She looked up at him with a weak smile and he looked slightly bemused.

"So why can't we go in there?"

"Because that bed is bigger."

"It doesn't really matter we only take up half of it anyway." He smirked a little.

"Don't you give me that look." She shook her head.

"What look?"

"That smarmy look you get when you think you're right."

"Well, I think I am right."

"Everyone thinks they're right if they thought they were wrong then that would be kind of pointless."

"Why are you getting so defensive?"

"I don't know!" She leant her head back against the door. "I don't know I guess I just thought it was quite personal. And maybe a little embarrassing."

He stepped in closer so that his body was pressed against hers. "Weren't you the one who told me to just be me? Why can't you do the same?"

"This is hardly the same thing I am an open book compared to you."

He smirked again. "I guess you're all talk Granger."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. "I don't think I've seen much in that respect from you Malfoy." She narrowed her eyes and he smiled.

"Please?" He said gently.

With another roll of her eyes she turned the brass doorknob and opened the door with a flick of her light switch.

Draco stepped inside and took a good look.

The floors were hardwood and there was only a bed, a dresser and a desk, the room was remarkably clean. There was a pile of old textbooks in one corner. Draco recognised the classic Hogwarts: A History from back in first year sitting by the bottom and the newer ones at the top. His old books were probably collecting dust somewhere but hers looked like they had been adjusted and read through many a time since they had been required.

He took a few more steps in and looked around a little more. There were pictures set up on her dresser. One of her and her parents with her acceptance letter, this one was a muggle photograph; all of the others were proper pictures. There was one with _them_; it must have been a few years back though. There was a picture of their little fight club from fifth year with all of them in it. Draco could see Luna at the front of it smiling like she was having such a good time. They were all smiling like that.

He felt his skin prickle with hints of jealousy at that. There were pictures of the Weasley family, all of them, and of Hagrid and Dumbledore. He even saw a picture of Sirius Black and Lupin up there.

"Just looking at some of those makes me sad, to think, a lot of them are gone now." She said.

He nodded without a word and walked over to her bed, which was not all too much smaller than the other one, and sat down.

"I should have brought you in here earlier, I just didn't want you to get upset at those photos or angry."

He looked down at his feet. Was she really that worried about letting him into her room because of those photos? He must have been worse than he thought in the past.

"I'm not angry."

She walked over to sit with him. "I know my father gave you a good lecture about keeping your distance after dark but please stay, it's your last night here." She rested her head against his shoulder and put her arm around his stomach.

"I'm not going anywhere." He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes.

They climbed beneath the covers and she wriggled into his arms as always. As they drifted off to sleep Draco spoke quietly.

"It's about a witch who falls in love with a muggle." He said.

"What?" She murmured.

"Blue Cauldron, the book." He said tenderly and with vulnerability laden in his voice.

"Oh, what else?"

"He's not really a muggle, just a muggle-born that no one really paid any attention to. He was kept out of their school by the headmaster, but they meet three years after school finishes. Its… it's my favourite… book." She could hear his heart thumping like a hummingbird's wings so she leant up to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you." She whispered in his ear, her warm breath caressing his face.

His heart started to slow again and she slid her hand under his shirt to feel his skin. She traced little circles with her finger as they wandered into a well-needed sleep.

Draco left her room at around seven the next morning, just in case her parents came up to rouse them, which was unlikely but possible. He changed into jeans and a fresh T shirt before he headed downstairs with Hermione who had done the same.

"I don't know why we're up so early if you're not leaving until noon." She said as she sat down at the table.

"I don't know, just trying to spend some time doing _something_ today. It's a four hour train ride you know." He sat beside her and rested his chin on his hand.

"Well, you could apparate, it would be quicker." She offered.

He turned up his nose. "I would have to do it on an empty stomach and I'd probably lose my trunk somewhere along the way." He sighed.

He really wasn't used to that feeling yet, let alone trying to take his luggage with him. The train was far easier, and it meant that he didn't get home until later. If he could delay it as long as possible then he was happy.

"I have to say that I don't like the feeling much either, but it goes away with practice. Or so I've heard." She reached out to put her hand on his arm.

He felt colder somehow, she knew he was dreading going home but she didn't think it was quite that much. Maybe there was something else.

Hermione had no idea about Pansy coming to collect him and take him to a meeting to spark some kind of dark revolution. He had kept both halves completely separate. He didn't want to face the wrath of either woman; they would be equally as furious.

She would never guess the reason for his apprehension. If she could, she would never let him leave.

"Are you sure you have to go?" She asked for one last time.

"Yes, I need to go back."

She nodded even though she didn't understand. She had thought that he hated that place so much that he wanted to escape it forever. Her mind trailed to the story he told her about the aconite leaves and she instinctively leaned over to kiss him.

"Well, if you hate it that much promise you'll write to me." She knew that she sounded like one of those sad little fourth ears that you hear about, going after the boys like a crazy person but she was just worried that some of his old ideas might start coming back.

"I'll burn all the aconite if that makes you feel better." He said with a little smirk.

She felt her cheeks flush and she turned away, a little embarrassed.

Was it going to be like this every time he got angry or anxious? It was like he flipped a switch and suddenly all the negative things became prominent in his mind and he acted like he did for all those years. Maybe that was just Draco.

People always say that you have to take the good with bad but Hermione wasn't sure if she could. It was just such a dramatic change. She knew that he had been through a lot but they all had and somehow he just didn't seem to understand that. Being with Draco felt amazing but at the same time it was a daily struggle.

She would have to do some serious thinking over the rest of the week. She pulled away from him once and hated it. He chased her back and they fell straight back into it. She didn't want this to be over but maybe it just couldn't work.

They spent the morning having breakfast and then going for a walk around her neighbourhood. Draco was doubly on edge and it made the atmosphere a little tense but he seemed to loosen up a little. They walked through the streets hand in hand and he kept glancing around from place to place.

"Are you alright?" Hermione asked.

"We're pretty open out here. Anyone could see." He replied.

"What does it matter when we're here? No one from school lives out this way; at least I've never seen them. Someone's going to have to see us at some point, aren't they?" He didn't respond to that one so they didn't say much more.

They didn't say much more for most of the day.

When it got to eleven thirty and they were packing Draco's things into the car his mood had gotten a little worse. Her parents would have never guessed, he was still as polite as ever with them.

That's one thing I suppose, Hermione thought, he obviously wants them to like him, which means something. He's just being cold because he doesn't want to leave.

She tried to convince herself that she believed it. In the drive up to the station they said nothing to one another; instead they looked out their windows and listened to Hermione's father chattering on.

Draco looked over at her from time to time but she never looked back. He didn't mean to push her away. He knew that he had been doing it but for some reason he couldn't stop.

Mr Granger said he would wait in the car as Hermione walked with Draco up to the platform. There were only a few others sitting there waiting so they walked up to the edge of the platform and waited.

"I guess I'll see you when we get back then." She said flatly.

Draco sighed and turned to her, putting his hand on her waist and looked down into her eyes. "I'm sorry. I just… this isn't easy." He put his fingertips on her chin and tilted it up to meet his lips.

He didn't want to leave her; he just hoped that she knew it too. She rested her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tightly.

"Yeah, I know." She still wished that he would stay.

He swayed her gently until they heard the train approaching. He pulled back and she grabbed his neck for a quick hard kiss.

"I'll see you soon." She said as she brushed a short strand of his hair away from his face.

"Yeah." He replied.

With one last stolen kiss he dragged his trunk through the doors of the train and he was gone. Hermione waited to watch it pull away and leave the station but she couldn't see his face, she didn't even know if he was looking back.

She waited until it rounded a bend and disappeared before she headed back to the car.

"He seems wonderful darling. We should invite him back once you've finished school." Her father said as she climbed back into the front seat.

Hermione merely smiled back and they began the drive back to their house. She was going to be doing a lot of thinking for the rest of the week. Why did he always seem to have that effect on her?

For Draco the train ride just wasn't quick enough. It felt like no sooner had he sat down and pressed his hand against the glass as he watched Hermione grow smaller that he was pulling into his station. The light was getting thin and the temperature had dropped quite significantly. He walked off the platform and took out his wand and enchanted his trunk to pull itself along. If a muggle walked past he would just take a hold of it.

It wasn't too far to his house, by car or broomstick, but it was about an hour's walk. Draco wasn't afraid of the night, nothing scared him much anymore, none of the normal things at least. He put his hands in his pockets and scuffed his feet on the clean streets.

Maybe the school has sent word to his house that he would be returning; maybe his parents would have no idea. He had sent them an owl, but whether they had received it was another thing entirely.

It was getting very dark by now and the street lamps were shining yellow light down on the pavement. There weren't many people about but he could smell the muggles cooking their dinner as he walked through the streets of bleak houses and he saw the faint flickering lights of their televisions on in the windows.

As he got closer to his house the blocks began to get larger until he was walking in between houses with three stories and an abundance of grass and trees with long paths leading up to the front door.

He could see his house from the end of the street. Somehow it seemed to stand even further alone than he had ever known it to. The great black fence that surrounded it seemed almost twice as foreboding and the cold that swept over his already icy body was something that could have frozen him in his tracks. Instead he waved his wand to unlock the gates and heard them creak and clang; they probably hadn't been opened in a while.

His body felt heavy as he walked up the long path to his front door and it felt even harder to breath. The cold didn't help him in that regard. As he approached the steps he took as deep a breath as he could and reached out to open the door.

It made even more noise than the old gate and with two more steps he was back inside. It was as bleak as ever.

He let the door close loudly behind him and he released the trunk from its enchantment. It made a little thud as it fell flat. He didn't need to move it again, not until tomorrow.

He could feel the crushing sadness that had once been a part of him start to creep back over him. He didn't want to let it engulf him anymore. His mind flickered to the aconite joke that he had made to Hermione and it made him feel worse still. He shouldn't have said it.

He has said lots of things that he probably shouldn't have. The ones he regrets most are the ones he has said to hurt her. That was the last thing that he ever wanted to do.

To clear his mind he headed to the library, it was the one place that could take his mind of everything, if only for a while. As he made his way there his mother came swooping out of a doorway with her wand at the ready.

Draco leapt back against the wall and just stared at her. For a moment she did the same. Then she lowered her wand with a perplexed look on her face.

"Draco? What are you doing here? What's happened?" She almost sounded… _worried_ about him, but he knew that she was just in shock.

"They gave the students a week long break." He said, not moving away from the wall.

"Oh… funny, I didn't know." She said.

She looked ashamed that she hadn't heard and it made that crushing feeling intensify for Draco.

"I sent you an owl." He said, avoiding her weary eyes.

"We don't much check the owls now." She looked into the distance, a sadness in her eyes that just didn't belong.

"I'll be leaving in the morning." She looked back at him and tilted her head with a longing to reach out and stroke his cheek, but she was afraid that he would flinch away from her touch.

That was something she just couldn't bear. He was her son after all, and she loved him more than anything. She knew that he blamed her and his father for the things that happened to him and that they could never take back what they forced onto him at such a young age. When she had broken down after the war she hadn't been there to comfort him and she could see in his eyes the torture that it was to have to endure what he did.

She should have been there for her son, her husband had needed her more than he ever had, but Draco needed someone too. Anyone.

Now, his eyes were cold, vulnerable. He would never look at her again the way he once had and she had no idea how make him understand that she would always love him. She no longer knew how to reach out and let him know that she never wanted any of this for him.

The damage was done, the wounds were too deep, all she had left was to let her eyes tell him what her words could not.

_I love you_, and her eyes grew glassy and wistful.

She remembered him as a boy, so happy and full of laughter. When he was upset she was the only one who could stop his crying. She would pull him into her arms and hold him against her chest so that he could listen to her beating heart and calm down_. Hush, Draco. I won't let anything happen to you_. She would whisper. And he would look up at her as she cradled him and she would know that he wasn't scared when that twinkle came back into his eyes. It hurt so much to see his grey eyes full of pain and all she had ever wanted was to make that go away.

She looked at him now, almost cowering before her, his eyes despondent, full of so much sorrow, and all she could do was stand before him.

It broke her heart to see him so defeated.

It broke her heart to know that she could have stopped it all.

If she could go back in time she would change everything, even if it meant sacrificing her life, or losing her husband.

If only she knew what she did now.

She took a shaky breath.

"Okay." She said.

He dropped his eyes and walked past her and on to the library.

She remained where she was, the tears finally breaking from her eyes. "I love you…" She whispered in a barely audible breath.

Draco heard nothing, he was already gone.

He fell asleep in the library that night, Blue Cauldron lying precariously on his chest. There was nothing in his dreams, but it was anything but peaceful. By the time he woke up it was mid-morning and he barely had time to pat down his hair before someone was hammering on the door.

He walked slowly down the stairs, in no hurry whatsoever, and waited a moment to pull open the big wooden doors.

Pansy stood before him, looking more than a little annoyed.

"Hurry up, it's time to go." She barked.

He grabbed his trunk and followed her down the pathway and to the street without a word.


	30. Chapter 30

Pansy had made sure to get herself used to apparating. Once they stepped outside the gates she grabbed his trunk with one hand and his arm in the other and that sickly hook-in-your-belly-button feeling engulfed Draco. They landed – Draco with a lack of grace – outside a house that looked even more grim than his own.

"Are we meeting now?" He asked as he put his hands on his knees and tried not to empty his stomach all over his shoes.

She looked over derisively. "You know, we don't always have to do this stuff at night. In fact it might actually be less conspicuous to do this in the day. Not that they're looking for anything like this." She chuckled a little. "Hurry up."

They walked up towards the black doors and Draco knew that the sick feeling he had from apparating was not going away easily. He could feel the beads of sweat starting to form along his hairline.

"Draco, come on." She grabbed him by the coat sleeve and dragged him towards the door a little faster.

As they walked inside Draco noticed that it was dimly lit and it appeared as though no one had lived here in quite some time. He figured that it was part of the concealment. They walked down the hall and into the empty kitchen. There was a door to another hallway and a wall behind a blackened stove.

"We have to go though there." Pansy Pointed at the wall behind the stove and Draco looked over at her, unsure as to what she meant. She rolled her eyes. "It's concealment. You can only get through if you have a Dark Mark." She rolled up a sleeve to show him the faint trace of black ink where her mark used to be. "They got rid of most of ours but it's still there. They can't completely get rid of it." She grinned and Draco pulled up his sleeve to reveal his faded mark.

He could feel the darkness in it even more now that he was in this house. His forearm was throbbing as though it was on fire, but the fire was colder than ice.

"Are you coming?" Pansy was standing by the stove looking over expectantly.

"Yeah." He watched as she climbed up on top of the stove and jumped through the wall.

He sighed shakily before following her. He felt a sensation of ice water wash over him as his body passed through the veil of the wall. He landed a little unsteadily on his feet in a dark room barely lit with old candlesticks.

"Well, well…" Draco's skin prickled as that voice echoed against the stone walls.

He looked up slowly to see Mulciber sitting in a chair in the corner with a grin painted across his face. As Draco straightened up Mulciber stood up and walked purposefully over to stand squarely in front of him.

"If it isn't a traitorous little rat in the flesh." He was still grinning wickedly and Draco gave him a cool glare.

"Mulciber, I can't say I'm pleased to see you either." He said through gritted teeth.

He let out a snide laugh. "At least you're here to redeem yourself, unlike that father of yours." Draco bit down on his tongue, he wanted to spit harsh words at Mulciber but he didn't want to risk an even harsher attack from him.

"Leave the boy, his father is the traitor." Draco almost jumped at the deep Jamaican voice that came from the corner of the room.

He looked over to see a huge man with dark brown skin standing almost stooped over in the shadows.

"Give it a rest Dalton." Mulciber hissed angrily, earning a slow shake of the head from Dalton.

"When are the others getting here?" Pansy asked, pacing back and forth.

"Patience my dear. They'll be here in no time." Mulciber purred as he walked over to Pansy and stroked her cheek.

She gave him a derisive look but said nothing. It was things like this that made Draco wonder whether she had lived a life akin to his, but he didn't ponder on that thought for long.

This was going to be a long night he feared.

Draco's head was spinning. A few more ex-death eaters showed up after he and Pansy did. He knew most of them. It was only Dalton and one other that he had never met. The anger that had been present in that cramped little room was more than evident. It was clear that Mulciber fancied himself as a leader for the revolution, not that any of the others took him seriously. They were all hoping that Yaxley would break out of Azkaban.

Azkaban was guarded by more than just dementors now, after they sided with the Dark Lord the new Ministry agreed that extra precautions would be taken though they were very secretive as to what exactly was guarding the prison.

Mulciber wanted to get things done fast, he wanted to act straight away. The others all seemed content to wait for things to fit. Draco wasn't too sure why someone didn't put Mulciber in his place but he had a feeling that it was because the man had a wicked temper and they couldn't afford to lose any more of their own. Numbers are dwindling as it is.

They had started to make plans about how to get into Hogwarts first. Draco thought through their reasons for wanting to target the school and the only logical reason he could come up with was revenge for taking away the Dark Lord.

"Why are you so quiet boy?" Half way through the meeting one of the men, Donahue, grunted over at Draco who had been sitting contemplatively at the side of the room. "You're starting to seem like the weak link." He grinned with blackened teeth and Draco turned up his nose.

"I've got something here to liven you up." A woman with hair blonder than his grinned and leapt through the wall quite elegantly.

She was back in a minute with a steaming cup.

"Here." She said seductively as she held it out to him.

"You think I'm just going to take that and drink it? I know you think I'm a coward but I hope you don't think I'm stupid." He said with a dark glare at the woman he only knew as Kresta.

She let out a cackling laugh and pouted out her bottom lip. "So untrusting."

She lifted the cup to her lips slowly, her eyes never leaving Draco's. Pansy was glaring over at her, clearly not happy but she wouldn't dare speak up. Kresta took a sip of the liquid and leant in close to press her damp lips against Draco who didn't move a muscle. When she removed her lips she gave him another grin and he looked up at her with a repulsed look on his face.

"You see, perfectly fine." She drawled.

"Kresta, do you have to do that?" Dalton said.

"No one said that I couldn't have a little fun," she took Draco's hand and put it onto the cup, "Drink it." She said as she raised her eyebrows a little.

Once he smelt the fruity liquid he realised that he was actually very hungry. She was willing to drink it and she seemed to be pretty fond of him so he took a small sip. It had a strange taste but it wasn't unpleasant.

The rest of the day felt long and arduous, really, Draco couldn't see a reason for trying to create a revolution but he didn't really have a choice in the matter. He was here now, he was involved. When they could finally escape they walked until they couldn't see the run down old house until Pansy grabbed him and they apparated away.

When they landed in another bland street Draco lost his balance this time and toppled over and onto his knees. "I wish you would warn me when you do that!" He yelled. "I didn't even grab my trunk!"

She rolled her eyes. "No, but I did. Come on." She started dragging his trunk up to a moderately sized house and he gathered himself to follow her.

"I take it this is where we're staying then." He said.

"Unless you would rather apparate home." She turned and looked at him from under her eyelashes with a pout on her lips.

Draco didn't like it but he followed her up the path and into the house. It was well decorated and it looked as though no one actually _lived_ here.

Pansy gave her wand a swish and the trunk made its own way down the hallway and out of sight.

"Where is that going?" Draco said impatiently.

"To my room." She said as she pulled off the black gloves that she had been wearing.

"You just assume that's where I want to be?" Draco said with a scoff to follow.

Pansy turned and smiled sweetly. "You can sleep in there with me or you can sleep outside in nothing but your socks." She smiled smugly and Draco shook his head.

"And how long do I have to think about it?" Pansy's smile disappeared and she looked irate.

"You don't." She stalked away and Draco stood in the living room having absolutely no idea what to do in this foreign house.

He took a seat on one of the sofas and just sat there thinking.

He must have nodded off at some point because it was three hours later when Pansy was shaking him awake. "Get up Draco!"

He looked up drowsily at her glowering face. "What?"

"Come and get something to eat." She shoved him a little bit and walked to the table where she had two plates of food for them.

He got up slowly and straightened out his clothes before he walked over to the table to join her. It was no special meal but at least she had gone to the effort of feeding him. They ate in silence; Pansy spent most of her time looking down into her bowl or making a conscious effort to look anywhere but at Draco. At that point he really didn't care. He ate his food and when he was done he pushed aside his plate.

"I'm going to shower. Can I get some directions?" He said curtly.

"Down the hall. You can find a towel in the cupboard by the bathroom." She grabbed his plate and walked away stormily.

He walked in the direction he had seen his trunk go earlier and saw the open bathroom door. He grabbed a towel and headed straight in for a long hot shower.

Too bad Pansy didn't have continuous hot water. He stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. For some reason he could feel his blood boiling. Everything he felt was twice as pronounced as it had been earlier. He could feel his anger at being stuck here bubbling just under the surface and the churning ache in the pit of his stomach held his yearning to be back with Hermione. He could feel more anger at the fact that she was one of them, that she would never really understand him no matter how much she tried.

He flexed his fingers out and balled them up into fists. He stretched his neck to the side and let the water run over his body. It dripped from his hair down over his shoulders and spread out as it ran along his chest. He tilted his head back and put his hands in his hair. He could hear his heart pounding as he tried to control his emotions but it wouldn't stop pounding like a bass drum.

Every inch of him was tingling with the things he felt. Not all of them were bad. He breathed a little faster as it all completely engulfed him.

The water ran cold and he turned off the taps. He stepped out into the steamy bathroom and dried his hair a little with the towel before wrapping it around his waist and opening the door to find his trunk. He saw the room to the left of the bathroom open and looked around the corner to see Pansy sitting on her bed.

Draco walked in and put his hands on his hips. "Where is my trunk?" He said, small droplets of water sliding down onto the wooden floor beneath his bare feet.

"It's safely away." She pushed out her chest a little and gave him a little smirk.

"I don't want to play your games." He said throatily.

"Well I think you don't need it." Her eyes raked over his towel clad body, biting her lip as they grazed his bare torso.

He smirked and scoffed as he looked away, his heart still pounding in his chest.

Pansy stood up and walked towards him. "I think you look much better just like this." She put the tips of her fingers on his chest and ran them slowly down over his toned stomach until they reached the towel sitting nicely on his hips. She tucked one just under it and pulled him in closer, leaning up with seductive eyes.

His heart thumped harder and he could feel it in every inch of his body, his brain seemed somehow disconnected and all he was experiencing was the dominant feeling in that moment.

With one finger pulling him into her and another hand snaking its way around his neck she reached up and kissed him. The feeling was familiar, and in his state he let her kiss him, and he kissed her back.

He grabbed her and kissed her hard, throwing the both of them against a wall. He opened his mouth and let their tongues collide in a wet twisting motion, he pulled down on her shirt and she tried to remove his towel with snatching hands that had no regard for anything but what they were doing.

And in one moment he shoved her hard back against the wall and drew back, holding his towel tight and breathing fast.

When he thought about what was about to happen he automatically thought of her, and that if he went through with it he would lose her forever. That was already a big enough risk, he didn't want to make that risk higher.

The guilt started to engulf him over all his other emotions and he became enraged at himself.

"Where is my trunk Pansy?" He spat.

She stood panting and looking more confused than ever. "What? Why did you stop?" She demanded.

"Because I don't want this and I don't want you so tell me where my trunk is so I can put some damn clothes on!" He yelled.

She screwed up her face and stormed out of the room only to come back dragging his trunk, leaving it just outside the door. "There, go and do whatever the hell you want Draco!"

He pushed past her and she slammed the door on him.

He was so angry with himself. He was angry with Pansy, he was angry with everything. He blamed himself mainly for letting her get to him when it had barely been a day since he had been in Hermione's arms. He dragged his trunk to the bathroom and dropped it roughly on the ground before he kicked the door shut.

He leant over the sink, gripping the sides tightly with shaking hands. He kept his head down while he tried to control himself, his entire body shook with his rage. He looked up at himself and glared at the man he saw in the mirror.

"You're pathetic." He spat through gritted teeth.

The more he looked at himself the more he hated it. It didn't take long for him to snap.

"You're pathetic!" He yelled and slammed his fist into the mirror, shattering it to pieces.

He ran a hand though his hair and tried to breathe in deeply to get rid of his anger; slowly he began to cool down. He sat on his trunk and looked at the room, covered in glass shards. He sighed and stood up to get some clothes out of his trunk.

Once he was fully dressed he picked up his wand and fixed up the mirror, it wasn't his after all. He sat in the bathroom for a while, his hand throbbing and bleeding a little but physical pain was nothing compared to his heightened emotions.

After what seemed like a very long time he picked up his trunk and dragged it back to Pansy's room. He opened the door slowly and walked in, she was lying in bed facing the wall.

When she heard him come in she turned to look at him. "Are you getting in or what?" She said coolly.

He looked at her double bed and sighed. She watched him closely as he approached and groaned when he grabbed a pillow and pulled back the covers at the opposite end of the bed.

"Really? You're sleeping up that end?"

"I don't want to sleep outside in my socks and I don't want you pouncing on me again so I'm sleeping down here." He said flatly as he climbed in beside her.

She grunted and rolled back over without another word.

He already knew that he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight.

They were meeting with the 'Revolutionaries' for the next few days. Draco couldn't believe that he was actually wishing for school to return. It was only three days until the train left for Hogwarts but it felt like he would have to wait an eternity.

Kresta wouldn't leave him alone whenever she got the chance. She would drape herself over him and touch his face and hair, Pansy hated it. It was clear from the look on her face.

Mulciber wanted to hit Hogwarts as soon as possible while the others wanted to bide their time and come up with better plans.

"Can't we just apparate in?" Mulciber said ignorantly.

"You can't apparate into Hogwarts; they have some kind of enchantment preventing it. Though, since the war you have been able to apparate inside Hogwarts, but not from the outside in or the inside out. It's something to do with the spell they used. We figured that out in the first few weeks." Pansy said.

"What a clever thing you are." Mulciber snickered, causing Pansy to flare her nostrils.

"We already have a polyjuice going, why can't we just stick with that?" Kresta said in a childlike voice with a big pout on her mouth.

"We need someone to turn into for that to work." Mulciber said.

"Do you think I'm some kind of fool?"

"Well yes, now that you mention it." He growled.

Kresta hissed and Dalton piped up. "Why don't you get these two to send it by owl? I'm sure you can snatch a few hairs and put them in the post." He motioned to Draco and Pansy.

"Just so long as I get yours." Kresta ran her finger up and under Draco's chin and he pulled his face away. Kresta laughed wickedly.

"We'll be able to get it for you. Just make sure we stay in the loop." Pansy said.

"Oh believe me dear, we're going to need the two of you on the inside." Mulciber grinned.

"There are more of us, I'll get the ball rolling." Pansy said.

"That's a good girl." Kresta smiled over at Pansy who returned a nasty scowl.

Draco thought that Kresta seemed to be trying to fill the shoes of his lovely aunt Bella. For some reason she must have idolised her and now that she's gone she thinks she can make a move on her quirks. Just like Mulciber trying to take the lead.

"We have many more things to work out before it is time for Hogwarts. I'm sure you'll know when we have started." Dalton smirked and the others laughed.

Draco just couldn't wait to get home; the closest thing to a real home that he had.

He wanted to get back to Hogwarts and see the one person that he was truly missing.

A pang of guilt hit him like a tonne of bricks. Why did he let Pansy seduce him, if only for a moment, and what would he do when he got back to Hermione? What would he say?


	31. Chapter 31

Hermione waited in her usual compartment for the others to join her. They were on their way back to Hogwarts again. Her week had been wonderful. First she got to spend some time with Draco where they didn't have to hide, and then she got three more days with her parents. She hadn't realised just how much she had missed them until she spent some real time with them again. She was so glad that they were able to restore their memories, she doesn't know what she would have done if they hadn't been able to.

"Hermione!" Harry pushed the doors apart and walked in to give her a hug.

"Calm down Harry, it's only been a week." She laughed and he was followed by Ginny and Ron.

"You know, you're going to have to come and spend some time at the Burrow when we finish for the year. Mum is just dying to see you again." Ginny smiled.

"Of course I will, I just needed some time with my family is all."

"What did you do then? Some kind of muggle stuff?" Ron asked and Hermione laughed even harder.

"What exactly is it that you think we do Ronald?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, what do muggles do?"

Harry laughed along with her, having spent most of his years growing up with muggles he could relate.

"Well, basically it's the same thing that we do, just, without magic." Harry said very matter-of-factly.

"Well what's the point then?" Ron turned up his nose and Hermione heard the others laugh.

She had trailed away from the conversation as she looked out the window of the train, hoping maybe to see Draco walk past. She hadn't heard anything from him in the last few days so maybe his stay at home hadn't been too bad. She hadn't really expected him to say anything even if it had been bad, but she tried to think positively. She would see him later that night anyway.

"Hermione?" She turned around to see Ginny looking expectantly at her.

"Sorry, I was daydreaming or something." She smiled.

"Are you alright? You look a bit distant."

"Just thinking I suppose."

"About what?"

Hermione looked back at her and smiled a little sadly. "I just can't wrap my head around the fact that this is our last train ride to Hogwarts." Harry and Ron looked over, a misty look in their eyes that soon turned distant. "What are we going to do when it's all over?"

"I've still got a year." Ginny said, looking a little annoyed.

"Well make the most of it; I'm terrified of not knowing where to go next year. We'll actually have to work for a living." Hermione said.

They all sat in silence for a few seconds before the sliding door opened and Neville poked his head through with a crooked smile. "Hi all, you mind if we join you for a bit?" He pushed it back a little further and Luna smiled in.

"Yeah, come in." Harry scooted down the seat to make room for the other two.

"How was your break Luna?" Hermione asked as she sat down beside her.

"Not too bad, my father took Neville on a tour of his new garden; he's just gotten rid of a nargle problem." She smiled sweetly and Neville looked a little uncomfortable.

"Are you alright Neville?" Ginny asked.

"Tell her what happened at my grandmother's house." He said.

"It couldn't have been that bad, you look absolutely horrified." Ron chuckled a little and Neville looked like he was going to be sick.

"His grandmother wanted me to sleep in the garden." Everyone turned, almost in slow motion, to look at Luna, that docile little smile still plastered as always on her face.

After a few moments Hermione looked back to Neville who was nodding as if he almost didn't believe it himself.

"She… she what?" Ginny asked, her brow furrowed in disbelief.

"Well I was explaining to her about the nargles in the garden at home and she suggested I sleep outside so that I could make sure there were none in her garden." Luna was probably the only person who wouldn't get completely offended by this.

"So… what happened then?" Harry asked.

"I told her that it was unlikely, her garden has a very strong scent and it would probably keep them away. They don't like places like that." Luna shrugged, seemingly unfazed.

"She just kind of turned up her nose and said that she still thought it wouldn't be so terrible if she did sleep outside… it was horrible." Neville said, the look still on his face.

"I'm sure she just wants the best for you." Hermione offered.

"Who does? We're not talking about your bloody grandmother are we? She's absolutely mad." They turned to see Seamus walking into the compartment.

"She told Luna to sleep in the garden when they went back." Ginny said flatly.

"Blimey!" He sat down and sighed. "I'd a told her where to go… you know, if she wasn't such a scary old woman."

"Where's Dean?" Ron asked.

"Few doors down, he's stopped to mingle with some of the girls. You'd think he could get on a train without puttin' on the charm." Seamus slumped into a seat and shook his head about.

Hermione heard the train whistle blow, signalling a minute until it pulled out of the station. She had kept an eye on the platform but she didn't see Draco. He must be here somewhere; it wouldn't have been hard for him to slip through without her seeing.

"Hurry up!" Draco hissed angrily as he dragged his trunk through the crowded platforms at King's Cross.

"Don't you bark orders at me!" Pansy dragged her bags with her and stalked after him.

"It's your fault we're late." He saw the sign for platform 9 and headed towards it, soon seeing the brick wall where platforms 9 and 10 met. "If you don't hurry I'm not going to wait for you."

As he walked briskly through the barrier he heard the train whistle and shook his head.

"Boy that tonic really got _you_ going didn't it?" Pansy looked up at him with dark eyes and he turned away with a distant look in his eye.

He walked briskly towards the doors and quickly loaded on his trunk with Pansy following. As he walked down the corridor he felt the train jolt forward, they had only just made it. He could feel the anger inside of him set to burst and he headed right down to the end of the train. His usual cabinet had a couple of third years in it and when he opened the door they were gathering their things and rushing out before he even said anything.

He was almost glad; he would have just yelled or growled had he needed to tell them to get out. He sat down roughly by the window and stared straight out it. Pansy sat opposite him and he scoffed with disgust.

"Are you still here?" He spat.

"You know I liked you better when you channelled your anger into better things." She grumbled.

He just ignored her. These past few days have been a nightmare for him.

_"Here, have some more." Kresta held out another steaming cup of whatever it was that she has had him drinking and it was on the final day that he became sick of her._

_"What the hell is this stuff? It better not be some silly little love potion you've concocted." He muttered, a little too loudly._

_The others in the room looked over to them and Kresta started laughing._

_"I wouldn't be surprised if she has slipped a little something in there. I hope you haven't been drinking it for long." Dalton laughed._

_"Now why would I need a love potion?" She grinned down at him._

_"Because clearly you need some help in that area?" Draco offered sarcastically._

_The others laughed, even Pansy who loved the way Draco cut down Kresta._

_"This is no love potion." She took a sip from the cup and sighed. "All this does is make you feel everything all the better, even more passionately, even more violently." She grinned with a fiendish delight that made Draco want to strangle her._

_Or maybe that was the tonic._

_He knew he shouldn't have accepted anything from her and now everything he felt was heightened. No wonder he had been dizzy every morning and night. His head was spinning with a mix of so many things that there was hardly room to breathe._

_"And how long does it last?" He said through gritted teeth, a single bead of sweat forming along his brown line where he was struggling to control his anger._

_"About a week or two. So don't worry, I'm sure your feelings for me will grow." She cackled to herself and the others seemed to find the situation amusing._

_Draco on the other hand was livid._

_Only one thing could calm his mind._

_He pictured her face, her bright warm eyes glistening and that smile that gave her cheeks the slightest dimple. Her long wavy hair always felt so soft under his fingers, and the way her skin felt when his fingertips brushed against it was like a dream._

"Draco?" He was woken from his thoughts when Pansy kicked him in the ankles.

"What?!" He growled.

"You want anything?" She tilted her head to the sweets cart; the woman pushing it had a sour look on her face upon coming across the two of them.

"I'll take the sweetest thing you've got." He said.

They had agreed to meet on the first night back, the usual place of course. Draco was anxious to see her. What did he possibly have to say to her? He could tell her where he had actually been, but she would most likely never speak to him again, and he couldn't bear that. That would also mean telling her about staying with Pansy, sleeping in the same bed, albeit top to tail, and then there was the matter of their kiss.

His anxieties were getting the better of him on the train ride back. He could feel himself starting to breath faster and become nervous as to what would happen. He wished that the tonic from Kresta would just leave his system.

Even worse than feeling all of this would be to get angry when he was with Hermione, he didn't know what he would be capable of and he didn't want to risk hurting her, or worse, losing her.

By the time they were climbing into the carriages to get back up to the castle his stomach was churning and dinner just wasn't an option. As soon as they reached the castle he headed straight for the dormitories.

He pushed past all the other students on their way to the great hall and down the stairs towards the dungeons. He hated the walk to his dormitories, even more so today; it always made him feel like this was a punishment for the Slytherin students. Not that they had done anything wrong, more to the point it almost spurred them on to rebel against the rest of the school. It put more hate in their bellies than anything else, except maybe the prejudice against them.

He gave the password to the portrait and it swung open. He raced to the seat by the fire and collapsed. He stared up at the spinning ceiling and tried to switch it all off. This must be the reason that Kresta's so crazy, how could anyone feel this so extremely all at once?

Then he remembered; they had agreed to meet tonight. His anger started to dull and his anxieties seemed to fade in comparison to the relief that washed over him. For a second at least, he could forget about the rest of it and just be happy to see her.

He still wouldn't go down to dinner, one look at Pansy and the rest of them and he would slip straight back to feeling like he did before. Instead he closed his eyes and tried to focus on the only thing that seemed to work at calming him down.

For Hermione, the train ride was wonderful. There she was, laughing with her friends; she could almost forget that there had been a bump in the road only a year earlier. That was one good thing, at least they were moving on.

When they got back to the castle they waved goodbye to Luna as she headed off to the Ravenclaw table. Hermione watched as she sat by herself and pulled a book from her hand. She felt a little sorry for her, it must be so strange to have none of your friends in your house. Then again, Luna is one of the most resilient people she knew and if anyone could find something to do when they were alone it was Luna.

Hermione's gaze shifted past Luna to the Slytherin table. She saw Pansy Parkinson, but no Draco. She turned away and pretended to listen in on Ron and Harry's conversation. Maybe he was there, she just didn't see. She didn't want to make it too obvious that she was looking, someone might get suspicious. She smiled to herself. Funnily enough, no one would ever pick her and Draco to be sneaking around with one another so that alone made it so much easier.

They had even caught the two of them in a kiss and she had been able to talk her way out of it, with help from Luna of course. He had been so wonderful that day, trying to prove to her that he had made a mistake.

She sighed. She had done a lot of thinking in the last few days about her and Draco. She just hoped that he would meet her like they planned tonight. She needed to speak to him. She needed to sort everything out and set it straight.

That was a while away yet, first things first, dinner.

It wasn't too long before McGonagall gave a brief speech and dinner was served. Her stomach growled, she didn't realise how hungry she had been. Clearly Ron did, his appetite never seemed to fade.

Draco didn't come down to dinner at all; at least, Hermione didn't see him there. She was still going to the room of requirement to meet him. When dinner finished Hermione told the others that she was going to the library to check out a few books.

"Bit late isn't it?" Ron asked.

"Not really, I'd probably be up studying that late anyway so it's nothing out of the ordinary for me." She smiled and gave him a little shrug. "You know, I never see you with this mystery girl we've been hearing about." Ron's face grew pink and he looked away.

"I'll see you when you get back." He turned to walk with the others back to the common room.

She smiled a little, he didn't really want to let them know who his girl is, just the same as she didn't want to tell them about Draco. Well, if he was dating a Slytherin she would definitely be on his side. She just wondered if anyone would understand her side.

She walked through the castle until she got to the hallway with the room of requirement. The door was forming as she walked up to it. She waited for it to materialise before she took the handle and opened the door. There was a fireplace on one side and a couch in front of it with a table and two chairs on the other. She took a seat on the couch and flicked her wand to the fireplace, a flame jumping from the tip and landing in the dark. The room started to glow with the flickering firelight and she sat back, closing her eyes.

The fire crackled soothingly and the warmth slowly filled the small space, the time trickled by but Draco still didn't come.

She wasn't really surprised when an hour had passed. Sometimes he would do this kind of thing; maybe he was mad about something again. She went over her speech in her head. She would have to just come out and say it.

It was twenty minutes later that the door swang open and Draco stood panting in the doorway.

"I fell asleep, am I late?" He smiled weakly and she stood up.

He looked a little scruffy and he was still in his jeans.

"Weren't you hungry?" She asked.

"Not really…" He looked her up and down and he felt his heart begin to pound.

She was so beautiful, even in her robes and looking tired from the train ride. She was just so wonderful. He walked towards her quickly and she put her hands up to stop him.

"Wait… I… I need to say something." She said.

"What?" He stopped; his face so curious and vulnerable and she took a deep breath.

"Look I just need to tell you something, I've been thinking about it since you left last week." His heart pumped faster. "I know you don't like to talk when things are going wrong, and you push me away, sometimes it makes me crazy. I don't know how to take it."

"I-" He tried to start defending himself but she cut him off.

"Wait, please, just let me finish. I thought that I needed you to tell me how you feel but… I know that it's not the way you do things. I used to hate that you pushed me away but I know that you do it because you … you care, and you don't want to hurt me. If you need time alone to deal with whatever it is you're feeling I can accept that, I'm not going anywhere so don't push me.

"I just want you to know that I understand that you have things that you need to deal with and for a while I didn't think you were coming tonight. I thought that after being at home you might pull away. Well, you're going to have to push me pretty hard to get me to leave now. I get it, we're different. So if you need time, I just want you to tell me, and I'll leave you alone until you're ready." She smiled over at him and he nodded a little.

"Can I ask you something?" He said.

She gulped. "Yes, of course."

"Is it alright if I kiss you now?" Her cheeks flushed and she nodded.

He rushed forward and took her face in his hands and kissed her. His lips parted to take her in and she closed her eyes as her hands reached up to his sides.

Draco felt himself being completely engulfed by his emotions and he pulled his lips away. She gave him a smile and tried to lean in for another kiss but he held her back. He found it hard enough to control himself around her at the best of times, let alone when he was full of that damn tonic.

He pressed his forehead against hers and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I… I missed you." He whispered.

"I missed you too." She leant up and stole a quick kiss.

He closed his eyes tightly and smiled. "Don't…"

She laughed and pulled him towards the couch for at least a little bit of fun before he goes back to everything else.


	32. Chapter 32

For the next week Draco acted very strangely. Hermione couldn't quite figure out what was going on with him. For some reason he was pulling away from her faster, he would fall into a rage with barely any motivation and he left her abruptly a few times when she thought she could see fear or sadness creeping in. She assumed it was just the strain of being home but she couldn't help feeling that it was more than that.

Still, she didn't bring it up with him; she had decided that if there was something he wanted to tell her he would. Some things might just be better for him to keep inside.

She hated not knowing what was wrong but she knew that if she kept pushing they were going to end up on a roller coaster with no end.

They had done that before and it was worse than not knowing. It just made it worse that she had a thirst for knowledge, one of these days she was going to end up pushing him again, but maybe that would be a better day.

She was trying to build herself up some courage to tell someone other than Luna about the two of them, but somehow just the thought of starting that conversation made her sick.

Maybe she could tell Ginny, but then again what if she freaked out and told the others, no one would understand. What had she gotten herself into?

She didn't want her relationship with Draco to end but that couldn't possibly mean giving up her friends, could it? She gave herself headaches just thinking about it.

"What am I supposed to do?" She asked.

Luna looked away, a pensive look on her face.

It was two weeks after their break and Draco had started to pick up his mood, he was back to the man that she had seen him grow into and Hermione was so happy just to be with him, but everything was weighing heavily on her mind. She had asked Luna if they could meet in the grounds to talk about it. She was probably starting to get on Luna's nerves, but then again, Luna was far too polite to say.

"You're in a bit of a tight squeeze here aren't you?" She said. "I suppose it's a little similar to Neville introducing me to his grandmother. He knew it wasn't going to go well but he loves me so he wanted to do it. It was actually really brave of him. Like Seamus says, she is quite a scary woman."

Hermione thought about it. They were quite similar situations, even if one was probably a little worse than the other. Luna was hardly what Neville's grandmother would call appropriate, but at least she wasn't a former death eater.

"I just don't want to lose them, any of them. This whole war has made everything so much more complicated. It would have been bad enough if this had happened back in fifth year, before things escalated. Now, it's just… I don't know what I want." Hermione said.

"Yes you do."

"I want them both! I want my friends and my… _boyfriend_," It still sounded weird for her to say, but it left a pleasant taste in her mouth. "I just know that I can't choose both so I don't know what I want."

"Why can't you have them both? You shouldn't have to choose between the two things that make you happiest. And if you choose to tell the others, you'll always have me." She smiled and Hermione sighed.

If it wasn't for Luna she probably wouldn't even have a relationship with Draco. She was the one who convinced Hermione to give him the benefit of the doubt, to try and look past what's on the outside and think about the pain that was inevitably on the inside. She helped her to see him for who he is and she was thankful for Luna's help.

"I never really thanked you for everything you've done to help me through this. You don't know how grateful I am." Hermione put her hand over Luna's and gave her a warm smile.

"I do, and you don't have to thank me. Draco's done enough of that for the two of you." She smiled wider.

Had she been talking to Draco? Or better, had Draco been talking to Luna? What had he told her? What did he say? Why didn't he talk to her?

"Besides, it's nice to have someone to talk to sometimes." Hermione felt a pang of guilt at that last part.

She always sought Luna out and asked her for things but she never really talked to Luna like friends do. It was very one sided and she started to feel guilty for not being a better friend, especially when Luna had been such a wonderful one.

"So… apart from clashing with Neville's grandmother, how was your time on the break? I don't think I actually asked you." Hermione said.

"That's alright, and it was lovely actually. My father thinks Neville is just wonderful. They have a lot in common." She smiled.

Hermione didn't know if that was necessarily true, but Luna would be a much better judge of that than she ever would.

"You didn't really sleep out in the garden did you?"

"No, Neville told her that she was out of line. She was just trying to do the right thing by him." Luna said.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Are you telling me that Neville actually stood up to his grandmother?"

"Oh yes, he can be quite forceful when he wants to be." Hermione hid her smile behind her lips and Luna laughed. "Oh Hermione, I didn't mean like that."

"Sorry, I just… sorry, I don't know why that crossed my mind. I just can't imagine Neville ever being like that."

"He saved your life once didn't he?" Hermione looked up perplexed and then remembered.

"The snake…"

"He likes to talk about that, quite often in fact. I think he likes it that he got to feel like he was the hero for once, he always feels like the damsel in distress." Luna smiled to herself a little.

"Well, he does have a bit of a habit of getting himself into trouble." Hermione laughed.

"Don't we all?" She said.

"Why do you always have some philosophical response? If everyone came to you with their problems I think they'd be solved a lot faster."

"I suppose that's what happens when you get a lot of time to think."

"Do you and Neville spend a lot of time apart?" Hermione asked, looking out over the great expanse of the country around them.

"I suppose, we can't just be together all the time. He has a lot of work to do if he wants to be a professor."

"That's what he wants to do?" Hermione didn't know that Neville had been considering becoming a professor, then again, she had never really asked him either.

"Oh yes, or a scholar. He loves herbology. I think he would really love to study it further. But that would mean a lot of time apart, my dad says he can make a position for me at the Quibbler when I leave. We communicate very well via owls anyway." Luna smiled and rested her chin on her hand.

Hermione couldn't imagine the majority of a relationship being via the mail. She would hate it. She would be able to do it, if it meant getting further in a career she could make that sacrifice, but she wouldn't be happy about it. She tried to subtly look down at her watch but Luna noticed.

"You don't have to stay here with me if you have somewhere else to be." She smiled politely.

"Will you go to see Neville?" Hermione asked.

"He has a rather long paper due in a few days so he isn't really focussed on anything else."

"You know, maybe you should be a little more demanding of him. I hardly think he's as forceful as you say. I'm sure he just doesn't know that he's not spending enough time with you. I think he'd sooner say yes to going to Hogsmeade with Seamus and Dean than you if you didn't let him know that you wanted to. He's not like that on purpose, he just doesn't realise." Hermione shrugged, trying to offer Luna some advice for once.

"I think it's important that he spends time with his friends." Hermione laughed a little.

"Well don't let him neglect you. He needs a firm hand and a lot of guidance I think." That sparked a little smile from Luna.

"I see what you're doing. It's very clever. You don't have to stay here chatting; I know you're supposed to be meeting him." She smiled slightly, holding the rest of it in.

"You talk to Draco?" Hermione asked.

"Only very little, a sentence or two here and there." She shrugged.

"What about?" She tried to seem disinterested but she knew that she was being completely obvious.

Luna tilted her head to the side without a word and Hermione blushed.

"There's only really one thing we have in common." Hermione looked away and smiled a little. "Anyway, you best be going, you usually meet about now, don't you?"

"Thank you." Hermione said, putting a hand over Luna's and giving it a little squeeze. "Now don't let Neville push you around." The two of them giggled at the thought and Hermione headed off to the usual meeting place.

They hadn't had a lot of time together in the last few weeks; they both had a lot of study to work on. It would be hard enough to have a relationship during seventh year, let alone a secret one.

When she reached the room of requirement she opened the door to find Draco already inside reading. A smile slipped onto his face when he saw her and she sat down beside him placing a gentle kiss on his lips. She snuggled up to him and he dropped the book by his bag.

"How did your potion work out?" she asked.

They were both taking advanced potions and she knew that even she struggled with the last assignment.

"Pretty well, not that he'd know. Old Slughorn picks his favourite students before he sees what they can do." He spat that last part a little.

"I see you're back to normal then." She gave him a cheeky grin and looked up.

"Shut up." He nudged her with his side.

She reached up to stroke his face with her fingertips and he closed his eyes. He adored it when she touched him like that. She could be so tender, so gentle. He tilted his head and she rested her forehead against his cheek. Her soft fingers traced the lines down his face and over the muscles in his neck.

"I can't stay long." He all but whispered.

She sighed and slipped her hand under the collar of his shirt. He tipped his head up a little and grazed her lips with his. Her small hands ran back up to his neck to hold him there so that he couldn't pull away. He had no intention of doing so. This was the only part of his day that made him feel something, something real and pure.

His mind wandered back to the first time she had touched him. It was back in the prefect's bathroom when he had followed her, trying to get her out of his system.

_"What do you think you're doing?"_

_"Going for a dip. Is that a problem Granger?"_

A smile reached his lips and he kissed her deeper.

_"I knew you were jealous Granger, you can't stand the thought of me with anyone can you?"_

_"You don't know what you're talking about Malfoy."_

"Draco…" She said, pulling him out of his memories.

He pulled away, his… discomfort mildly obvious. He coughed and pulled himself away from her, "sorry."

She smiled as she looked away, her cheeks baring a slight crimson blush. He exhaled heavily and closed his eyes tightly.

He felt her hand, light and hesitant, feather over his knee. She pushed her fingers gently up his thigh a small way and back down again. His eyes stayed closed as she repeated the movement, her hand growing more confident with each stroke. He could feel the heat from her body radiating next to him and he laughed very lightly.

"You're not helping." He said.

"Would it be so bad if I were a burden, just this once?" She leant in and kissed him just beneath his ear.

He breathed in sharply and parted his lips silently. Her fingertips moved only a little higher and his breath became shallow. He opened his eyes, a firm gaze locked on hers.

She blinked in a way that was hardly meant to be seductive but Draco bit down on his lip anyway. He could see in her the vulnerability that she still had but before he had time to think about it her lips were locked into his and her body was pressed against him.

Inside he was burning. He wanted more than anything to cool that fire and let her extinguish the flame, but he just couldn't. He pushed her back and closed his eyes again, entirely focussed on resisting temptation.

Temptation.

_"I don't want to play your games." _

_"I think you look much better just like this." _

And with a single thought it was gone; any fire inside him was drowned by a single memory of guilt and hatred for himself. How could he?

"I just…um…" He started but she put two fingers to his lips and gave him a peck on the cheek with no more than a shrug of her shoulders and a sympathetic smile.

He didn't want it to be like this. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her with everything that he had, with everything he could give. He just couldn't. Not like this.

She was perfect, she was pure. He was certain that she would never forgive him if she knew it all, and he didn't want to spoil something that was so naturally wonderful. He didn't want to expose her to his darkness. In a way he wished that it could stay this way indefinitely, but he knew that things had to change. As happy as he was when he was with her he just couldn't shake that darkness inside of him.

He sighed and looked at her with a tilt of his head. "Like I said, I can't stay long." He said.

"Would it matter? You always stop." She smiled and he looked away.

"Please don't." He didn't want to think about it.

He felt terrible as it was, his memory was betraying him. How often did that happen? He could never forget.

Hermione bit her lip and looked to the fire. Why was he being like this? Usually he would at least participate for a while before shutting her out but ever since the break he just wouldn't have a bar of it. She desperately wanted to ask him why he was like this but she knew that he would never answer.

It's not like she was desperately waiting for something more physical. She was perfectly happy with the way they were, it's not like she has ever experienced it before, what she had never had she couldn't miss. She was in no hurry, but sometimes when they touched her body ached for more. No one had ever made her feel that way. No one had ever made her want something more than just emotional intimacy.

Then again, no one had dismissed her need as quickly as Draco. She just couldn't understand it.

"Does this have something to do with Pansy Parkinson?" She asked very tentatively, not looking up at him.

His head snapped towards her, horror written all over his face. He hid it behind his shock at her random question. "Why would you ask that?" He choked.

She stood up and paced in front of him. "I don't know! I'm sorry I just can't think of any other reason why you wouldn't… why you wouldn't want this." Her cheeks were swimming in crimson. "Is it because I'm not… more like her?"

Draco stepped up and grabbed her arms. "Hey!" He snapped. "Why would I want you to be like her? She's… she's pathetic. All she ever does is try to get into my head, and manipulate me into doing the things she wants." His brow was furrowed and he could feel his nostrils flaring.

"And you always went back."

"Wouldn't you? If that was the only thing…" His eyes darted away but she kept her eyes trained on him. "If she was the only thing that wanted me too?" He said through gritted teeth

"You don't want me to be more like her?"

"Of course not." He shook his head and scoffed.

She smiled, a little too quickly.

"You… you knew that." He said.

"I… No, I just-"

He pulled back and just looked at her. "You already knew that I can't stand her. Why would you ask me that?" The look on his face was a mixture of confusion and betrayal.

It was true she knew that he didn't want her to be Pansy; she just wanted him to say something, for once. She realised now that by putting on even a very small act she was manipulating him, just like her.

"Draco I-"

"Do you want to be just like her?" He spat.

"Of course not I didn't mean to… I just wanted you to give me some indication of what's going on in your head! You can talk to Luna but not to me. I just-"

"So that's what it was about? You get me to talk because you're jealous of Looney Lovegood?" He shook his head and pushed past her to grab his book and bag.

"Where are you going?" She pleaded.

He didn't answer. He just stormed out the door and slammed it back.

Hermione sighed and put her head in her hands. Why did she do that? She knew that Pansy manipulated him so why did she think that tricking him into talking to her would ever work? She sat down on the couch and bit down on her lip. How could she have been so stupid?

Just as she was punishing herself for doing that to him to door opened and he walked back in, bag over his shoulder and hands in his pockets.

"Draco! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't." He said. "Don't apologize."

He walked over to sit by her side. "I never wanted to-"

"Just, don't." He said softly. "I know you want me to talk to you. It's not easy." He sighed. "I want you. I really, _really_ want you." He gave her a small smile. "If I wanted her I could still have her." The guilt was overpowering, that was the worst thing. "I don't want her anymore. I don't want anything to do with her. I just don't want to make you like her. I don't want you to think that doing _that_ will make me happy because… well I mean it might but I don't think it could get much better." He looked away, clearly having trouble expressing himself. "Can I stop now?" He said awkwardly.

She laughed a little and kissed him. "I'm sorry." She said.

He shrugged and kissed her cheek. "I really do have to go now." He said.

"Okay." Her fingertips brushed the side of his face and he closed his eyes before getting up and leaving, again.

He would never have done that a month ago. Never. She smiled to herself.

Progress.


	33. Chapter 33

It was another week before things started to become interesting. Hermione had just finished an essay and dropped it in to her professor's office before breakfast. It was finally the weekend again and she was planning on spending a nice day with her friends in Hogsmeade.

She walked down to the great hall and looked out at the sun coming up over the grounds, the green grass finally beginning to get back to its full growth. She couldn't really believe that in six months she wouldn't be here anymore, she would be out in the real world finding something new to consume her life. That might sound like a life sentence but she was so excited to be moving forward. The only bump in the road was how to tell her friends about Draco.

She wasn't going to think about that now though, today she was halting her study and going out with her friends and spending the evening with her boyfriend. Her lips twitched into a smile; she still couldn't get used to it. If someone had told her two years ago that she would be willingly spending her nights wrapped in Draco Malfoy's arms she would have scoffed and turned away.

Things grow and change over time and she wondered if Draco would even be here if she hadn't entered his life. The cold licked her skin as she thought of the story about the aconite. She had never known such pain as that which she had seen in him. She often wondered how much more he was hiding from her about it. She knew not to push him when it came to deeper wounds. They were still painful and she could see it in his eyes sometimes. All she wanted was for him to stop hurting.

When she sees that look it makes her heart ache, there was more pain in one concealed gaze than she had in her entire being. All she wanted to do was take it away.

She shook her head and tried to forget, that look had been appearing a little less lately and today was not about that. It was about escaping it, and escaping the memories of the painful past.

She walked through the doors of the great hall and saw most of them sitting at the table. She looked over to the Hufflepuff's table to see Dean flirting with a group of sixth years and laughed at the way they were gaping up at him.

She walked down and sat next to Harry who was halfway through a plate of breakfast.

"I see Dean is up to his usual tricks." She smiled and Ron and Ginny turned to see him smiling with those perfectly white teeth.

"I don't know why they fall for that, he's a right git if you ask me." Seamus stabbed his bacon violently and Ginny raised her eyebrows at Hermione.

"You alright there Seamus?" Ron asked with a bit of a grin.

"I'm fine." He said with his thick accent.

"Sounds like you might be a little jealous Seamus." Hermione smiled and Harry sniggered a little.

"Yeah he'd like that. Why would I be jealous of that fool?"

"Don't worry Seamus, you'll find somebody…eventually." Ginny laughed.

"Yeah, I'm sure you will… someday." Harry chuckled.

"I don't know, he's pretty much the last one, even Neville's got himself a girl." Ron said.

"Hey!" Neville piped up.

"Come on mate, you got to admit that no one thought you'd get a girl before Seamus." Ron shrugged, a big grin spreading across his face.

Neville looked away for a moment then shrugged back. "He's right Seamus; I think you've fallen behind a little."

Seamus turned a bright red colour as he seethed over their teasing and the rest of them roared with laughter. Just at that moment Dean wandered over and sat next to Seamus.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

Seamus gave him a hard shove and he almost fell off his chair. Everyone else was giggling to themselves.

"What was that for?" Dean asked.

"Ignore him, he's just jealous." Ginny smiled and Hermione saw Harry grit his teeth a little.

Apparently today was the day for jealousy.

"Of what?" Dean scowled over at Seamus who pulled an equally childish face.

"The fact that you can charm girls without breaking a sweat." Hermione said casually.

"So you don't want to meet them in the Three Broomsticks later for a butterbeer or two?" Dean asked smugly.

Seamus looked up at him quizzically and distrustfully. "Oh yeah? You better not be trying to make me look like an idiot." He said.

"No! In fact, the one in the orange scarf wouldn't stop asking me questions about you. After a while I figured I had better start telling the truth because she was dead serious. Don't ask me why." Seamus looked over very obviously to where they were sitting and the dark haired girl with a line of bright orange fluff around her neck smiled at him and turned back to giggle with her friends. "The other one said she'd only come out with me if I talked to you for her."

Seamus looked pretty happy with himself and went back to eating. Harry leant around Hermione and tugged on Dean's shirt to mouth the word 'really' and Dean scoffed silently and shook his head.

Harry and Hermione chuckled to themselves about that.

"So I guess the two of you will be off trying to romance a few sixth years while we're all having a good time." Ginny said, a little spitefully.

"You know, you're a sixth year so you can't really join in if we tease them." Ron said.

"Excuse you." She retorted.

"That goes for you too Harry, you're just as bad as them, but worse. You honestly need to rethink your priorities." Ron nodded with a mocking tone.

"You are quite possibly the most annoyingly rude person I have ever encountered." Ginny said, clearly getting angry.

The two continued to bicker and Hermione leant in to whisper to Harry. "Are you going to jump in at some point?" She smiled.

"Are you kidding? I've done that once before and neither of them talked to me for a day or two. I got so bored that I let Molly show me how to make some kind of Christmas pie. That was a long day." He grinned back and they just let the siblings continue with their quarrelling.

"Are you and Luna coming too?" Hermione asked Neville who looked a little startled to be included in this discussion.

"What? Oh, yes, we'll be there." He said.

"You know, I barely eve see the two of you together. Where is it that you hide?" Hermione asked with a smile on her lips.

"No-nowhere really." He sent her back an awkward grin.

"Don't make him uncomfortable Hermione." Harry said, taking a sip of juice only to have it run down the sides of his face.

Neville turned away and laughed and Hermione just looked at Harry with a bemused smile as Harry cleaned himself up.

"What are you doing over there Harry? You're worse with food than Weasley." Seamus laughed loudly as he pointed to Ron who was just finishing up the argument with Ginny.

"What?" He asked.

"Look, mail's here." Ginny said and they looked up to see a swarm of owls descend on the four long tables.

Hermione watched them all fly around until they spotted the student they were after, or the teacher. Dean received a letter first, then Ginny and Ron, at least from the loud clanging sound just in front of her Hermione assumed it was Errol. Hermione even got a letter from her parents. They only ever send a few; they didn't particularly like owl post.

Hermione looked over at the Slytherin table and saw that Draco received nothing in the post. He never does, and she couldn't help feeling a little sad at that.

She began reading her letter and the rest of them seemed to be engulfed in their own letters. She smiled to herself and knew she would have to hide all her mail from now on, especially if her father mentions Draco any more.

"Harry, mum has a bit for you in my letter." Ginny handed it over to him with a playful roll of her eyes. "Can I read the prophet while you're not using it?"

Harry nodded and they traded papers.

Hermione was reading through her letter for the second time when she heard Ginny speak up.

"Oh my god…" They all looked up and she had a concerned expression on her face.

"What is it?" Dean asked.

"Three aurors have been sent to St Mungo's Hospital this morning after three separate attacks occurred during the night." She read.

They all looked at one another.

"They were attacked?" Hermione asked.

"What happened?" Seamus pressed.

"The aurors, who will remain nameless, were found unconscious at each scene, all appearing to have been rendered so by-" She cut short and her eyes darted up and slowly over to Neville.

They all seemed confused.

"By what?" Harry said.

Neville looked away and Ginny bit her lip a little before continuing. "All appearing to have been rendered so by the excessive use of the cruciatus curse." This time they all looked over to Neville who had started moving the leftovers on his plate around with his fork. "While the attacks were merciless the aurors are suspected to make a full recovery with time. The Ministry is launching a full scale enquiry into the matter but all witches and wizards are advised to carry on with caution." Ginny looked up at all of the wary faces.

"Who would do such a thing?" Hermione asked and took the paper away from Ginny to read the rest.

"No one's done anything like this… for a while." Ron said, the look on his face betraying everything that they were all thinking.

Hermione felt her heart ache as she read on. The article spoke about the most famous case like this, the picture beside the column was of Alice and Frank Longbottom. She looked up at Neville who appeared to be lost in thought.

"But why would…" Harry looked around and leant in closer to whisper. "Why would the death eaters be rising now? Voldemort is gone."

Everyone, except Neville, leant in. "Maybe they're pissed off." Seamus offered.

"Maybe it's someone trying to take his place." Dean said.

"But why would they want to dredge this up? It's over, they can get on with their lives now." Ginny said.

"Well, not really." They looked over at Hermione. "All I mean is that even now they're still going to be seen as outsiders, maybe that's what they're angry about. Maybe they just don't want to have to try."

"I think they're just bad dudes who are angry that people are trying to tell them what to do." Seamus said.

"I thought most of the death eaters went to Azkaban." Ginny said.

"Not all of them, some of them were released; some of them went into hiding. Most of the worst ones went to Azkaban." Harry said.

"You don't think that there could be a break out… do you?" Ron looked a little nervous.

"They've upped security; no one even knows what else is guarding it." Hermione said, she didn't want to believe that there could be another breakout.

"The dementors took his side once, who's to say they won't do it again? Maybe they don't like being distrusted either, like Hermione said." Harry said.

"I don't think this is the worst thing, I think it's a warning." Neville finally spoke and after that they all went silent.

This was a lot to think about.

They tried to put it to the back of their minds after breakfast so that they could enjoy their day like they had planned. It was going to be difficult.

As they got up to leave Hermione scrawled on a piece of paper for Draco to meet her right then in the usual place.

"I just remembered that I had an extra piece to hand in, I'll meet you guys at the train before it leaves." She said as she left, sending the note to Draco as she did so.

Draco was still picking through his breakfast, alone at his table when the little paper not came flying his way. He snatched it out of the air and opened it.

I need to see you, now.

And that was it.

He had no idea what could make her send something like that. It made him a little nervous.

Still, he headed off to meet her, he had time. He walked to the room of requirement and opened the door to find her already inside.

"What took you so long?" She asked as she paced.

"I… uh… wait, what's wrong?" He asked, trying to stand in her way but she just dodged him

"Did you hear? About those aurors?" she asked. "The story in the prophet?" She looked up at him and he just gave her a questioning look. "The ones that were attacked?"

"There… there was an attack?" He asked, something rising in his throat.

"There were three. They were all tortured with the cruciatus curse." She stopped pacing and sat down, shock written all over her face.

Draco sat by her side, his heart beginning to race with the panic that was setting in. Then he turned to her slightly. "Why are you telling me?" He asked slowly.

She looked up, that worried look still on her face. "I'm not saying that you have anything to do with this, I know you don't." That lump in his throat seemed to get larger. "I just… I thought that you might have some idea… as to who would do something like this." She looked so guilty but he was managing to keep his guilt hidden. "I'm sorry, I know you never wanted any of it but you know a lot of those death eaters, I thought maybe you would know if any were capable of doing that. I'm sorry, I'm just still in a bit of shock."

He put his arm around her and pulled her into him. He felt sick. His heart was beating outrageously fast and he could feel him starting to sweat.

It was starting. Dalton's words echoed hauntingly in his ear. _I'm sure you'll know when we have started_.

"Your heart is pounding… are you alright?" Hermione murmured into his chest.

"Uh, yes. Yes I'm okay, just… shocked like you I suppose." He said, his voice a little croaky.

She leant up to kiss him and sighed. "So you have no idea?" She asked, he big glassy eyes staring straight into his.

This was the time, he knew this was the time to tell her. She was sitting there, in his arms and asking him what he knew.

"No." He said. "None."

She sighed again and snuggled back into his arms. "I just want all of this to end." She whispered.

"Yeah, me too." He closed his eyes because he knew that he had just made a colossal mistake.

Draco stormed through the castle, most students were heading into the grounds on their way to Hogsmeade but he was walking furiously to the dungeons. He had said goodbye to Hermione and let her go on with her day while he went to find Pansy.

He growled the password at the portrait entrance to the common room and tore through it to find Pansy sitting in a corner scribbling something on a bit of parchment. He slammed his hands into the table and she flinched a bit. When she saw it was him she rolled her eyes.

"What?" She snapped.

"Who did it?" He demanded.

"Did what?"

"The…" he looked around to see a few people looking. "The aurors." He whispered in a low growl.

She rolled her eyes again and went back to writing. "I don't know, Dalton maybe? Probably Kresta trying to get her Lestrange on." She muttered.

"So this is the start?" He asked.

"This is most definitely something." She smiled.

His heart sank. There was nothing he could do now, even if he had tried would it have mattered? Or would he have ended up with a worse fate? Would he have seen it as fate or is that just his inevitable future? He could feel the darkness closing in on him, the clouds circling him impossibly close and he felt himself getting dizzy.

"If you want to help you can find someone with a similar hair colour to you so that I can send it to Kresta… preferably a chubby little first year." Pansy grinned wickedly, her hatred or jealousy of Kresta completely obvious.

"Yeah, sure." He pushed the table away and walked over to the couch.

"I'll let you know when I need you to do something else." She called.

His head pounded, a searing pain pressing into the back of his skull. What was left for him to do now?

Hermione and the others headed into Hogsmeade feeling less than cheery. All of them had the recent attacks on their minds but they had promised to try and act like it was just another normal day. Unfortunately they were not the type of people who could just let something like that go by untouched.

They sat in the Three Broomsticks with full butterbeer glasses relatively silently as the crowds around them chattered away noisily.

"So Dean, when are you and Seamus meeting those girls?" Harry asked, earning a minor glare from Ginny.

"I don't know, when they come in I guess." He shrugged.

He was no longer excited at the prospect of some more flirting, neither was Seamus. Hermione sighed.

"Well, this is turning out to be a great day, isn't it?" She said.

"Only because we're trying not to talk about it." Ron said, finally taking a long swill of his butterbeer.

"Do you think it's the death eaters?" Seamus whispered.

"Why would they bother? They don't even have a leader." Neville said, more as a question than a statement.

"Maybe we're over thinking it, maybe it wasn't Voldemort's followers at all. It's a one off thing at the moment, I'm sure bad things happened before he came to power." Harry said.

They all nodded to themselves.

"I think Harry's right. We've probably just forgotten how to have fun." Luna smiled causing the rest of them to laugh a little.

"I don't know, that bonfire out by the lake was pretty good. Next time though I say we branch out and get some new members to join us." Seamus grinned and the girls rolled their eyes.

"Hey, sometimes you need to just spend some time with your friends, not other parties." Ginny laughed.

"Hey, just because the lot of you have it both ways." He pointed around the table and the rest of them laughed.

The slowly pushed the attacks to the back of their minds and distracted themselves. They knew that they would have to come back to it at some point but for once the distraction seemed like the better thing to do.


	34. Chapter 34

The rest of the day ended up running pretty smoothly. They laughed about and drank butterbeer and watched Seamus try to impress the girls in the booth to the side. It looked as though it was going relatively well.

Hermione had a lovely day, the attacks still sat firmly in her mind but she was able to convince herself that the ministry would find out who did it and they would be punished adequately.

It was late in the afternoon and they were sitting in The Three Broomsticks drinking what would be their last butterbeer of the day. Luna and Neville had gone for a walk around the village together. Harry and Ginny had started upon an old argument and Ron sat at the table with Hermione, the both of them feeling slightly awkward.

"So when are we to meet this girl you've been sneaking about with?" Hermione leaned over to Ron with a little smile and he took a breath in, his eyes widening. "Oh come on, it's just me."

She had hoped that maybe they could get straight back to being friends and it seemed like finally things were looking up for them.

"Well, actually, I… well, maybe next week then, when we have some time." His cheeks flushed a little.

"So what's she like then? Is she in our year?"

"Steady on." Ron looked taken aback but he seemed quite happy that someone was asking him.

"Oh don't be so reserved." She smiled.

"Well, she's in Ravenclaw, and yeah, she's our year. Her name's Katherine but she… she likes Kate." He smiled a little and started to talk more about her.

Hermione smiled warmly as she listened, he seemed to like her quite a lot.

When the pub began to get quiet, Dean and Seamus came back over to the booth and sat down.

"No luck?" Hermione asked.

"It was fine." Dean said through gritted teeth.

"Go ahead, you go on and tell them what happened." Seamus was positively beaming while Dean just rolled his eyes.

"I don't know why you think it's so funny."

"Oh I know you do." Seamus laughed.

"What's going on then?" Ron asked, his interest peaking.

"They both wanted to know if _I_ wanted to see them again, both of 'em." He was grinning again and everyone around the table laughed, all except Dean.

"Yeah, yeah, well don't let it go to your head." Dean said, rolling his eyes again.

"Bit late for that don't you think?" Ron chuckled.

They all knew that they were due back at the castle soon and so they downed the last of their butterbeer and headed back. Seamus was very clearly happy with himself and Dean was sulking. Harry and Ginny weren't talking, for one reason or another, and it seemed the only two who were acting like themselves were Ron and Hermione.

They giggled at one another about the demeanours of the others until they reached the train.

"So what are you doing tomorrow then Hermione?" Ginny asked once they were seated.

"I suppose I'll just be studying like always." She shrugged.

"Not sneaking around with your new secret boyfriend?" She said.

She looked a little upset; perhaps it was her argument with Harry but whatever it was it didn't look good on her.

"I don't have a new secret boyfriend." Hermione rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Come on Gin, leave her alone." Ron smiled over and Hermione nodded to the both of them.

"So do you want to talk about your secret _girlfriend_?" Ginny folded her arms, Ron always made things worse with Ginny.

"He was actually talking quite a lot about her before, you were just far to engrossed in your conversation with Harry to notice." Hermione said.

She realised after that it probably sounded a little snappy, and she didn't mean that.

"Well I'm sor_ry_." She folded her arms and turned away from the others.

They all looked around at one another and Harry shook his head a little. Hermione knew when to stop probing and she would have to talk to Harry later on, they all sat rather tensely for the rest of the train ride.

In reality she wasn't going to be studying all day, tomorrow was her day with Draco, for a few hours anyway. She did need to study a little bit. She really did want to tell Ginny, but she knew what her reaction would be already. Sadly she knew that the more she prolonged telling them the worse the revelation would be.

They reached the station and headed back to the great hall for a light supper before they went back to their common rooms. Ginny went straight up to her dormitory and Dean and Seamus headed to their books to make themselves feel better about doing minimal amounts of study. The trio sat themselves down by the fire.

"I told you that she was a bad idea." Ron nodded to Harry who laughed a little.

"She's not that bad, it's just when she gets into a mood."

"I could have told you that." Ron sighed and slumped down in the armchair.

"She's just worried about what's going to happen with the two of you next year when you're gone and she's still here. Not to mention that it's almost a year since Fred… since the war and that probably makes her sad." Hermione offered.

Ron shrugged and began staring into the fire. Any mention of his lost brother usually sent him into a quiet patch. Hermione felt that familiar sting in her eyes when she thought about everyone. Even after all this time she still got choked up, maybe it would be like that always.

They didn't stay up too much longer, it had been a tyring day and they were all well and truly ready for their heads to hit the pillows.

Draco woke up late the next morning. He had lain awake for most of the night thinking about what they did to the three aurors. He knew that he hadn't directly been involved but he had known that something was going to happen; it was just a matter of time. Not just that, he knew that there would surely be other things to come. He just didn't know what, when or where. He didn't really want to know either, the more he knew, the more guilt he felt.

Pansy was sinking right into her role within the group. He knew that they saw her as just a means to an end and that he was the one that they really wanted to test but if she was willing to actively work on the inside then who were they to deny her that?

He couldn't wait to see Hermione later; he just hoped that she wouldn't bring up the attacks. That would put a damper on his mood. He realised that he had missed breakfast but he wasn't overly hungry so he just waited until it was time to see her. It seemed as though that was all he did lately, and that was just fine.

"What did you want to be when you were younger?" Hermione asked as they lay on the fuzzy carpet staring up at the enchanted summer sky ceiling.

They were lying with their cheeks pressed together and their feet pointing in opposite directions.

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"Oh come on, you had to have some kind of idea about what you wanted to be." She smiled, her eyes closed.

"I don't know, what did you want to be?" He said again.

"I wanted to be a dentist." She chuckled to herself.

"Why would you want to do that?" Draco shuddered a little; the idea of doing something that involved quite a lot of being in someone else's mouth made him shiver.

"Because that's what my parents did." This time she shrugged. "Remember I didn't know that I was a witch until I was eleven."

"Yeah, right." In truth he had forgotten about that.

Sometimes she seemed so much like an actual witch that he forgot that she was muggle-born.

His eyes shot open at that thought, it was so much like the person he had been programmed to be. He knew that she was a better witch than he was, that had always been true. He had just always been taught that witches who didn't come from a pure bloodline didn't deserve their wands.

_"Dad? Why can't Annalisa come to play?" A seven year old Draco asked his father._

_He used to play with the little girl down the road who was about the same age as him, until his father had found them together._

_"Because Draco, she's a mudblood." Lucius said, barely looking up from the prophet._

_"Lucius!" Narcissa hissed and he looked up from his paper. "I don't want to hear you using language like that with him. He's just a child."_

_Draco looked from one to the other, not even sure what they were talking about._

_"Fine." Lucius rolled his eyes and turned back to his bright eyed little boy, so oblivious to the world in which he was living. "Draco, in this world there are some wizarding families that are better than others. We don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort now do we?"_

_"Why are they wrong?" He asked and Lucius looked up to Narcissa, almost as if he wanted to share all of his information with him. Narcissa shook her head warningly and Lucius curled his lips._

_"Well Draco, we are what you call pure-blood, and that means that we are at the top, we have the strongest bloodlines. Then there are blood-traitors who sympathise with the mud – muggle-borns. And then there are the half-bloods who don't respect the nobility that there is in magical blood. You don't want to associate yourself with the others Draco, don't lower yourself to their standards, or lack thereof." Draco looked up at his father, he still didn't understand, Annalisa was so nice and there didn't seem to be anything wrong with her. "You can play with Vincent the next time his father brings him over." Lucius went back to reading the paper, sneering at every second headline._

_Draco walked back over to his chair and picked up one of the many books in his 'to read' pile. He never really had toys, not as he started to get older anyway. His parents wanted him to excel in his magic and become a great wizard._

_Annalisa wasn't a muggle-born, she was a second generation half-blood, one of her grandmothers was a muggle. He wasn't allowed to play with her because her family was made up of muggle-sympathisers. That was something that Draco's parents looked down on and they snubbed anyone who dared to speak up for a muggle or blood traitor alike._

"Draco?" He was pulled out of his flashback by the sound of Hermione's voice.

If his father could see him now he would absolutely drop dead with rage.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" He said.

She laughed. "All I said was that it only got so much harder when I realised that there was this whole secret world out there. It really made things harder. What were you thinking about?"

"Oh, nothing really." He mumbled.

"You must have wanted to be something at some point in your childhood."

"Are you still going on about that?" He smirked.

She rolled over to look down at him. "I just want to find out more about you."

"Why?"

"Well because… because I want to know about more than just the last few years, I want to know everything." A lock of hair fell across her face and he reached up to brush it back.

"I really can't imagine why."

"I guess you could call me somewhat of an overachiever." She looked down with a smile, more hair falling over her face.

"I wouldn't have expected that." He grinned.

"Come on Draco… I just want to know you." She whispered.

He felt that familiar warmth spreading through him. This was the first time anyone really wanted to know something about him without having an ulterior motive. He could get used to it.

He rolled over onto his side and pushed her hair back again. He knew that she liked it when he did that.

"Well… I suppose that there was a time when I… well… when I wanted to be…"

_"An auror?" Lucius demanded of his now ten year old son._

_"Yes, it sounds like a lot of fun." Draco shrugged._

_"Fun? Now Draco, it takes a lot of time and work to be an auror. What you should be doing is looking for investments. That is where the money is, and it comes in handy when you need places to hide things."_

_"Lucius…" Narcissa warned._

_"He will have to learn it one day Narcissa!" Lucius snapped. He turned back to Draco who was looking mildly confused. He was used to them arguing over what to tell him and what to teach, he just wasn't sure why his father was trying to talk him out of this. "Perhaps having you as an auror may prove of some use in the future, but I dare say that it is too far ahead to even matter in that regard. Who knows if they will even let you into the auror program?"_

_"And why would you suggest that they might not let him in?" Narcissa asked, flicking her wand over to the cauldron she had just been stirring so that it would resume by itself._

_She folded her arms and walked over to her husband and son sitting by the fire._

_"Can you not imagine?" Lucius said._

_"Are you saying… are you trying to tell me that he's coming back?" Narcissa raised an eyebrow._

_"Come now Cissy, it is far too early to be talking of that."_

_"You know it's rude to leave someone out of a conversation." Draco cut in and Lucius turned his lips up into a half sneer._

_"I see you have a bit of a temper there boy. Nothing wrong with a bit of fire in the blood." He grinned._

_"So long as it's pure." His mother gave Lucius a little smile before sweeping back to her potion._

_Draco stood with a pout on his lip, not really understanding what it was that they were talking about. Lucius looked back to his son and smacked him with his paper._

_"What was that for?" Draco growled._

_"You need to learn that what is on the inside needs to be kept there. Don't go around pouting like some unprivileged half-blood. You are of noble blood and breed and we do not pout. Do something about it if you must, but be clever. And enough of this auror business. We will figure out what it is you will do after school when we get to it. You never know, you may be of better use in some other field."_

"He really told you that you couldn't be an auror?" Hermione asked after Draco briefed over his memory to her.

"Not in those words." He said, lying back down.

"I can't believe that your own father would use you like that." She chewed on her lip as she thought about it.

How dare he deny his only child the right to a future of his choice? It was just wrong.

"Clearly you don't know anything much about my father." He closed his eyes and sneered, the same sneer that his father had pulled.

Sadly it seemed to be one of the many things that ran in his family.

"So what did he want you to be?" She asked, running her fingers gently through his hair.

He shrugged. "It changed a lot, depending on what would best suit him at the time."

"Like what?"

"I think it started out as a banker, that way I'd have access to all the accounts and businesses and he knew quite a few people who would be 'just my kind of clientele'. At one point he wanted me to top the board at Hogwarts so that I could have a say in who would be allowed in. He had quite a few notions over the years." Draco sighed. "Then it got to a point where he needed me to do the bidding of _him_, and we sort of stopped discussing any future plans after that."

Hermione's heart ached for him, luckily he couldn't see the look on her face, he hated it when she felt sorry for him. She could see that this was going to put him in a bad mood, or worse a non-responsive one so she decided to lift the mood.

"Did I hear you say 'all the accounts' just before? Just how many accounts do you have?" She saw the sly grin spread across his face.

"You have no idea."

"You can't possibly be that wealthy."

"My ancestors had a pretty decent fortune, and that's by today's standards, it's only increases since then." He said.

"So how much of that is yours?" He opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"You know, you're starting to sound like you're only interested in my financials." He said with a grin.

She shoved him over a little and he jolted up and grabbed her, pulling her over beside him.

"You know that's not true." She kissed him quickly.

"I know, but it is quite an attractive quality of mine." He smirked.

"Oh really?"

"Are you saying that it's not?" He smiled, leaving little kisses on her jaw, causing her to giggle.

"I'm saying that you have many other attractive qualities that come first." She took his head in her hands and pulled his face in close to hers.

His big grey eyes were almost a bright blue as he smiled back at her. Her lips found his and parted to take him in. His kiss deepened and she closed her eyes, sighing as he locked his hand in her hair. His hot breath washed over her face and as his tongue cavorted with hers in a way so exquisite that it sent a shiver over her entire body.

She let her hand brush over his stomach and she felt his hand tighten in her hair.

All he wanted to do was let himself lose control with her but he wouldn't let himself. He pulled his lips away from hers and brushed another strand of hair away from her face.

She looked into his eyes again. She didn't want him to pull away so she whispered to him.

"Dance with me?"

"I think we'd look a little silly without music." He said.

She looked over his shoulder and he turned to see an old gramophone in the corner.

"Very clever." He shook his head a little.

"Besides, who is there to see us?" She stood up and pulled him with her, flicking her wand over to the player causing classical music to pour out and fill the room.

She looped her arms over his shoulders and he wrapped his around her waist. She stood up on her toes and they swayed gently.

"Let's just stay here, forget about everything else." She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes, focussing on the music and his heartbeat.

"Gladly." He said, knowing that she could never understand how much he meant it.


	35. Chapter 35

Things seemed to go back to normal over the next few weeks. They kept their eyes on the prophet for anything suspect but it was just your average news. Draco had noticed that Pansy was sending more letters than usual; she seemed so desperate to please the others. He wasn't sure why.

He personally wished that they would just leave him out of it but he knew that it would never happen. They were waiting for him to redeem his family for betraying them at the end of the war. Some of them thought that his father has now betrayed them twice, once after the first war and then again by deserting the cause.

Needless to say that this was to be strike three if things didn't go to plan. Draco had no idea what they were capable of or who they'd come after if their plans failed.

He lay back in bed early one morning thinking about it. His mother back home would have no idea what was going on. It seemed that they had been cut off from both sides and left to see if they could survive. Money wasn't the problem, that would still be coming in by buckets, it was the fear.

The fear that was slowly building around the house like a thick murky fog, trapping them inside and preventing them from finding a new life, or forgetting about the old one.

He wondered how they were handling it, cooped up in that house with no one. He knew how hard it was for him to be alone; surely he wasn't the only one to feel pain from it?

Would his parents encourage him to do this or would they condemn it? They did walk away from it after all. He had no idea but there was no way that he was going to ask. It was too late for that now. It's not like they had changed so much that they would accept him dating a muggle-born. Especially Hermione Granger, who had always bested him in his classes and infuriated his father, then again, his father always blamed Draco for that. He refused to believe that a muggle-born witch could achieve better than a pure-blood. Draco had always hated the fact that he wasn't the top of his classes, which he was in many cases. Of course, this was only when she hadn't been in the class with him.

No, they would never accept their relationship. There weren't many pure-blood families left and Draco knew that they couldn't survive forever, at some point there would have to be some impure blood entering the bloodline.

His head spun thinking about it. Everything was so complicated when you had to keep the bloodlines clean. Sometimes he wondered if any of his ancestors were told who they should marry, just to keep the lines pure. It seemed so trivial to him now.

Right now his only worry was when the death eaters would strike next, or whether they had, but this time they'd done a better job of covering it up. Either way, he could feel that something big wouldn't be too far away.

It wouldn't be long until he had to seriously start studying for his NEWTS. Hermione had been preparing since before they started school, of course, and he knew he had the potential to come in second. He might have been able to scrape past her in potions, if it weren't for Slughorn. He loved Hermione, and Potter, they were all a part of his little 'Slug Club'.

He scoffed at the thought of it. At least NEWTS were assessed by outside parties; he might be able to beat her, for once.

He glanced over at his alarm clock to check the time, he was definitely going to have to get up soon or he would miss breakfast. He never really seemed to be hungry anymore but he knew that if he ate nothing it would come back to haunt him.

He climbed out of bed, pulling his black school pants over his boxers and running his hands through his hair. He needed a shower, but he really didn't have time. As he dressed for classes his mind wandered back to the prefect's bathroom and a smile found its way onto his lips.

If only he could go back to that moment with the things he felt now. Back to when the revolution, as Pansy calls it, was furthest from his mind and he could just be there with Hermione. He thought about asking her to meet him there today, but they were going to practice duelling this afternoon. It was her new idea that they study together so that they still saw one another but she didn't fall behind in her studies. He wondered if she really needed to study all that much but he wasn't going to argue.

She was usually right about things, besides; it was basically the only study he had been doing.

"You know, you would be much better at this if you stopped getting so worked up." Hermione said as Draco picked himself up off the floor.

She had sent him spiralling backwards, again, after he failed to block her jinx.

"I didn't want to show you up." He said, brushing off his long sleeved shirt. Today was not the day to be wearing black.

"Oh really? _Confringo_!" She yelled unexpectedly.

"_Deprimo_!" Draco countered and a great gust of wind erupted from his wand sending Hermione flying back into the wall.

He smirked, feeling good that he actually managed to catch her off guard. He walked over and offered her a hand up which she took, shaking her head.

"You know cockiness doesn't actually help either." She said with a small amused smile on her face.

He gave her an overt smirk and turned to walk back to his side of the room. It was only a moment after that he heard her say the word "_flagrate_" and felt a harsh sting on his side.

He leapt out of the way and saw small fiery letters appear in the air in front of him.

_I told you_.

"You should never turn your back on your opponent, and what did I tell you about being cocky?" She tried to hold back her smile but she was failing.

"That hurt!" He yelped, trying to see where she had scored him. There was a singed hole in his shirt and a small red mark on his skin. "And this was one of my favourite shirts!" she let out an audible laugh and this time it was him who shook his head. "I'm glad _you_ think it's funny." He pouted.

"Oh come here!" She walked over to him and pulled at his shirt, he lifted his arms so that she could remove it and inspect the hole in the back.

"_Incarcerous_." He said quietly.

"Hey!" Ropes emerged from the end of Draco's wand and wrapped themselves around her.

As she tried to step back she tripped and fell back onto the floor. Draco roared with laughter. "What was that about never turning your back on an opponent Granger?" He grinned down at her.

"Will you let me out now?" She stopped struggling and looked up at him, grinning like a mad-man. "It is not that funny." She said, trying to sound serious.

He just laughed a little more. "It's pretty funny."

"Draco, you let me out now." She said.

He leant down beside her and made a face as though he was considering it. "Nah, not quite yet." He kissed her quickly and stood up to walk over to the couch.

"Draco that's not funny, let me out now." She struggled a little more, the ropes wouldn't budge. Draco just watched her with a wicked grin on his face, the hole in his favourite shirt forgotten. "Draco, don't just leave me here."

She couldn't help but smile back at him, and soon that smile turned into a laugh. "Do you want me to say that you win? Is that it?"

"It would be nice." Draco shrugged, that smirk just waiting to come out.

She rolled her eyes with a smile. "Fine, okay, you win, can you please untie me now? It's rather uncomfortable down here."

He considered it for a second and then nodded, flicking his wand and drawing the ropes back in. She sat up and shook her head at him to which he replied with a casual shrug. She laughed and got up to sit next to him, giving him a hard kiss on the mouth.

"You are wicked, did you know that?" She said, looping one arm around his shoulders and the other across his bare chest.

"You're the one who started to undress me." He grinned.

"And you're the one who tied me up." He laughed and felt it catch in his throat, he had been trying not to think of her in that way.

Her hand gently stroked his side and he suddenly became aware of how she was touching him, how close his lips were to hers and the smell of her lavender perfume that drifted up off her skin. He leant in for a kiss, still surprised at how good it makes him feel to kiss her.

"Can we please take a break now?" He asked.

She giggled a little. "Fine, but we have to practice for our exams."

He rolled his eyes and she jabbed him in the side with her finger. "Well can you at least do something to this?" He turned to show her the little burn on his back from her spell and she laughed. "It's not funny."

"Just like tying me down wasn't funny either." She said as she gathered her wand off the floor, Draco merely smiled.

It was only small, she was able to fix it. "_Episkey_." She murmured.

"Ouch! What are you doing? What's happening?" The spot on his back became very hot and then almost immediately cooled down like ice.

"Relax, it's working." Hermione said, leaving a kiss on his shoulder.

"I think you'll be set for your exams then." He said, turning to pull her into him.

"I'm nowhere near ready yet." She sighed.

Draco chuckled a little. "You know, the state you're in now is about where everyone else aims to be right before their exams. How much more can you cram in there?" He nuzzled into her hair and gave her a kiss on her temple.

"I still have at least three books to read yet." Draco laughed, she was more than ready but she would never believe that.

He lay back on the couch and she lay with him, resting her head on his chest. His heart pumped slowly and the rising and falling of his torso made her feel so relaxed. She closed her eyes and sighed.

He was happy to just lie with her all afternoon.

"Draco?" She said after a time of silence.

"Mmmm?" He replied drowsily.

"Why did you follow me into that bathroom after the exams?" She propped her chin up on his chest and looked at him.

He smirked a little and shrugged. "Because you wanted me."

She slapped his shoulder and he laughed. "Come on, tell me why."

"You started it."

"How did I start it? You walked in on me, while I was trying to have some time alone I might add."

"You followed me into the restricted section. I can't imagine that even you frequent those books."

"I …" She started, but she soon realised that he was right.

"So let's start again, why did _you_ follow _me_?" Draco said in his smarmiest voice ever.

"That's not fair."

"Hey, I was just reciprocating your gesture. The least you could do is tell me." His arrogance was brimming and Hermione shook her head.

"You know, you're cocky as all hell when you think you're outsmarting someone."

"What do you mean 'when you _think_'? I _am_ outsmarting you."

He was unbelievable, and it made Hermione smile. She had never seen him so happy and light hearted. It was wonderful. Maybe things were finally looking up. They were definitely changing.

"Fine. I just followed you because… well, I don't really know why. I just… I guess I saw you and I thought… I don't know, I _wasn't_ thinking. I mean what would I have done? What did I think would happen? Oh God, I'm so stupid!" She buried her face in between his arm and his side out of embarrassment.

Draco just laughed at her. "Well, if you didn't then we probably wouldn't be here."

"So why did you follow me then?" She looked up a little and he could see that her cheeks were still a very bright shade of crimson.

"I don't know. I thought I could get you out of my system."

"I was… in your system?"

"Well… I suppose. I mean you're… well, you're … beautiful…" He was embarrassed to say that kind of thing to her.

When he thought back to how he was and how he wanted to treat her he felt so bad. How could he ever have wanted to use her like he had Pansy? He should have known that she was different, wasn't that the reason that he was attracted to her in the first place?

"But why did you need to get me out of your system?" She asked.

"We're leaving this year, I thought that maybe if I was with you once then I would get over that stupid need for something else before I had to face the real world. Then I could prove to myself that it wouldn't be different with you and I would feel exactly the same and I guess I'd know exactly where I was going." He looked down at her and she stared back up with a tiny smile. "I don't think that made any sense at all, did it?"

"I think it made perfect sense." She reached up and pecked his chin with her lips. "The only thing that doesn't is why you would think that I was the test. Why me?"

"You're the good one. Everyone knows that. You've got all your friends and you were… _happy_… for a while at least. I was trying to prove that wrong, like it was just an act that I couldn't buy into."

"Well if you thought you could accomplish that by doing what you did back in that bathroom then you were very wrong. Did you think that was the way to make you feel something?" She pushed back his hair and he closed his eyes again.

"It wasn't supposed to. You had to ruin my whole plan by being… you." His lips twitched but he wouldn't spill that smile.

"So what did you feel?" She asked, not looking up even though his eyes were closed.

He pulled his lip into his mouth and bit down a little. "I don't know." He said through his teeth.

She wouldn't push him any further; she knew he was never going to say anything that he didn't want to.

"You know we should probably get back to practicing duelling." She said.

He groaned and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her tightly. "Can we please just relax for one damned day?"

She just laughed.

There was little over two months until their final exams, a few weeks later and they would be graduating. At least, that was the hope. As Draco walked back to the dungeons after studying with Hermione he wondered if he would get the chance to graduate after all of this. Maybe he could convince Pansy to give them a specific time if they were planning on coming to Hogwarts.

He had no idea why they wanted to; they never really explained that part. All they really said was that they wanted them to pay for giving them this life. He just wondered why Hogwarts was a key target. Was it because of Potter and the others or because this was where they lost _him_?

He didn't care anymore; he just wanted to get out of it.

He found Pansy in a corner of the common room, actually studying for her exams. He sat down opposite her and she looked up briefly.

"Are you actually studying?" He asked.

"What do you care?" She said, looking back to her parchment.

"Well what's the point if we're just going to be driven out anyway?" He said.

She looked up a little as if she was thinking. "They asked me when the best time would be… I don't think they've started their polyjuice yet, something about-"

"Boomslang skin, yeah, I remember." Draco rolled his eyes.

They had been having trouble finding the ingredient, most alchemists had been raided while Diagon Alley had been closed and the skin was proving hard to find.

"If you want to pass your exams then wait until after, don't send them any hair or anything until the day of the final exam." He said quietly with a shrug. She looked up at him as if she was confused. "Look, I would like to at least finish school before this is over. I would hate to have repeated this year for nothing, wouldn't you?" He said, one of the first truly honest things to come out of his mouth to her.

"What's the point anyway? I'll be able to do anything when we come through this." She said, writing one last sentence on her parchment before leaving her quill sitting in her ink.

"You say that but you're still here studying." He nodded a little and she sighed with her tongue in her cheek.

"I have been waiting for my N.E.W.T.S for more than seven years now. I don't see the point in them but I'll be damned if I came back for a whole year to fail in the last few months, like you said." She looked away from him with something new in her eyes.

It almost looked like regret, or like she was in over her head. He had never seen her look like that. It was gone in a matter of seconds. She sneered over at him.

"They'll come when I tell them to." He nodded with a roll of his eyes and left her to her books.

There was no way she was that confident. Draco thought that she just acted confident to hide the fact that they scared her, and she knew she had no real power with them.

"By the way…" He turned back to her as she spoke and she looked up with a smile. "You can expect a reunion with Blaise when this thing comes to a head."

Draco cocked his head to the side. "Blaise is coming back?"

"Only when he's needed." She raised her eyebrows a little and went back to reading.

Blaise, now there was a face he hadn't seen in a long time.


	36. Chapter 36

Hermione had started to notice the others all reading the prophet quite thoroughly in recent weeks. To be fair, they weren't just distrustful people, she had a seen a few things that looked suspicious but she knew that they just had post-Voldemort paranoia. These things happened a lot before he returned to power and probably even before he rose to power the first time.

Things like trading banned goods were definitely not uncommon but Harry had mentioned it a few weeks earlier after having seen it in the paper. Ginny saw an article on the mysterious disappearances and re-appearances of some witches and wizards. Hermione had read something two days ago saying that they were having slight problems with the floo powder network and that was probably accountable for that.

All in all, everything seems to be easily explainable in the long run but they couldn't shake that bad feeling. Why were those aurors attacked?

Hermione put down her copy of the prophet and took a spoonful of cereal into her mouth. Dean and Seamus were arguing over the semantics of something in their magical theory class, though it could have been anything. The two of them argue more than anyone else she knew.

Neville and Ron were discussing Quiddich and Ginny was listening in. Harry was reading one of his textbooks. Hermione looked over to see that it was for Arithmancy.

"I didn't know that you took Arithmancy Harry." He looked up and closed his book.

"I thought I should branch out and take something that most people avoid, you know, give myself a bit of a competitive edge when it comes to work but it's absolutely doing my head in. There's only a month until exams and I just don't know if I'm going to pass it." He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, clearly tired from study.

"Well, the last few weeks have seemed to go by very quickly, I don't remember all the other years going by this fast." Hermione sighed.

"Maybe it's because this has actually been a relatively normal year." Harry said.

"Is that a bad thing?" Hermione smiled.

"Well, if you'd have asked me that question two years ago I would have absolutely begged for a normal school year, but this time it's getting closer and closer to exams and I'm starting to think that they aren't going to be cancelled this year." Hermione let out a laugh that echoed in the hall and Harry joined her with his head leaning on his arms and his shoulders shaking.

Draco smiled when he heard the loud outburst from the other side of the hall. There was no mistaking that sound. His eyes darted up to see her smiling and laughing with Potter. Draco's face turned to a grimace and if his face hadn't flushed red with anger it would have been green with jealousy.

He swallowed his feelings and just sighed, going back to eating his breakfast.

"What's wrong with you? You look like someone's just come and ruined your day." Pansy said, looking over at him.

"Nothing." He grumbled.

He hadn't seen Hermione much lately, she told him it was because she needed time to properly study and that he was quite possibly the biggest distraction she had ever had to deal with. She seemed quite happy to spend time with Potter and Weaselby and the others. He couldn't let himself get angry though.

"Is it the little mudblood over there?"

His head shot up and gave Pansy a confused look. "What?"

"Laughing like everything is so perfect. I couldn't think of anything worse than being what she is. Doesn't she just infuriate you?" Pansy glared over at Hermione.

Draco nodded. While he agreed with that last part it was probably in a different context to Pansy's.

"I can't wait to get my hands on her when they finally get here." She whispered with a cruel gleam in her eyes.

"No!" Draco hissed.

Pansy looked up at him curiously. "What did you just say?"

He hadn't meant for it to come out, it had just slipped. "I just meant that you can't call the… mudblood, that's not fair." He hated those words coming out of his mouth but he knew that he had to say them.

She grinned. "Well we'll just have to see who gets there first."

Pansy had stopped receiving information from the group. She hadn't heard anything for over a week now. The last thing that she was told was to send the samples for the polyjuice with their next communication. So it wouldn't be long after that.

He didn't know what to do anymore. He had no idea what they would do to him if he betrayed the cause again and he couldn't risk losing Hermione yet by telling her.

The odds of her staying with someone like him, who conspired against her and kissed his ex and slept in her bed, were not in his favour. Why did he have to be this person?

Why couldn't he have been someone else, almost anyone else would do.

His eyes darted up to her table, she was talking with Potter and Weasley and he felt that jealous wave of anger wash over him again.

He would never admit to himself that he wanted to be like them, to have a group of… of actual _friends_ to spend his time with, people who weren't consumed with more rage and vengeance than he was. Maybe then he wouldn't have turned out this way.

No, he probably would have still become himself; his father is a very controlling man. Well, was.

That still doesn't solve his problem. What was he going to do?

"Honestly I don't know." Luna said

"Oh come on, you have to have something planned for next year." Hermione said as they took a walk through the grounds.

"We'll just send owls to one another and I'll see him on the break for Christmas." Luna shrugged.

"You and Neville are far too casual." Hermione laughed.

"Well there's hardly anything else we can do is there? I just hope he can make up his mind as to what he's going to do, he's hopeless like that." Luna smiled.

"Well I don't know what Draco's going to do; I don't even know how to break it to the others that we're together."

"Do you have to?"

Hermione looked over at her, "what? Of course I do, they're my friends."

"Then they should understand."

"You know what they're like." Hermione looked down at her feet.

"So don't tell them."

"You're going in circles with this." She sighed.

"Maybe we should talk about something else. What are you going to do next year?" Luna asked.

"I still have no idea, it seems so strange having to make a choice that will shape the rest of your life. I mean, up until now it's just been go to school and that was that. Now it's actually up to me. At least you know what you want to do." Hermione sighed.

"Some people know what they want to do their whole lives, the rest just start with something and figure it out along the way. Either way it's an adventure." Luna said.

Hermione smiled and told herself that she would have to start thinking about it in that way. If life was something you could test, Luna would probably get top marks for understanding it.

Oh well, there wasn't much more she could do to stop it. There wasn't much time left.

Over the next two weeks they saw one another twice outside of classes. Hermione was stressing out about getting everything done. Draco suggested she use her time turner to give her a whole lot of extra time to study but she scolded him and gave him the old 'bad things happen to wizards who mess with time' speech.

To be fair, he wasn't missing her quite as much because he was being forced into even more study than he could handle. McGonagall was really pushing him to work harder in transfiguration, which he had only taken to fill the spot, so his time was well thought out. The rest of the time he spent alone tormented over what he needed to do.

He didn't know what they expected of him and he most definitely wanted to tell Hermione about it, he just couldn't bear to lose her, but wouldn't he lose her anyway?

It was all too much.

He was going to see her that afternoon, with ten days until the exams would be over. They started in a few days and he was beginning to push the thoughts of the impending fight to the back of his mind.

"So you only have charms left to prep for?" She asked as they lay on the floor, cheeks pressed together.

This had become their general position for talking; he would never say just how much he loved to do it.

"Can you please stop asking me about exams?" He groaned.

"These are the last few weeks of our lives that we'll spend here; don't you want to make sure you take it all in? Do everything you can to get good marks for the future?" She said.

"Do they even matter once we leave? And the only thing I want to remember is this room." He said and she smiled to herself.

"So we're still going to see one another once the year is finished aren't we?" She asked.

"Well, yeah, if you want to." He mumbled.

"Do you?"

"Of course I do."

"Well why couldn't you say that?"

"Well I don't know what you want do I?"

"I want it to be like it was, on the break, when you came to my house and we didn't have to hide anymore, I mean I know you went home but for half that time it was wonderful." She leant her face against his and he couldn't help but picture himself at Pansy's and he squeezed his eyes shut trying to get that image out.

It wasn't working, all he could picture was him kissing her in her room and he hated it. He didn't want to feel guilty like this.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Draco, are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." He stood up and walked over to the couch.

"Did, did you not like what I was saying?"

"No, no, I did, I just… it was just… nothing." He said.

"What is it? You know you can tell me anything." She walked over to him but he pulled away from her.

"Look I really have to go, I forgot about something that I had to study and I've just remembered it so…" He grabbed his things and walked towards the door.

"Draco wait!" She called as he left the room without any real goodbye.

She couldn't understand it. What just happened? He had just got up and left without any explanation what-so-ever. She knew the study thing was a lie, he rarely wanted to study and the look on his face was not from leaving out a few study notes.

He had been getting stranger and stranger lately.

Maybe it was because of the exams. That was the only possible explanation she could think of, but it didn't seem likely. Well, that was the only thing she had to go on and what reason did she have not to trust him?

Draco walked briskly down the halls, breathing heavily and loosening his tie because it suddenly felt too tight. He could feel the sweat peaking on his forehead and he wiped it away with the back of his hand. The guilt was crushing him. How would he explain it all to her? How would he get through his exams? What the hell was he going to do?

Exams drew closer and Draco grew even more terrified of what was to come. He was almost frantic. Pansy had started to give him strange looks now, even more so than usual and Hermione kept gazing at him from across rooms with doe eyes and a worried expression. He wasn't doing wither of them any favours by avoiding her. This would really be screwing with her study.

He had to do it; he had to tell her about Pansy.

He thought about how he could do it, how he could tell her.

It seemed silly for him to preoccupy himself with the fact that he had kissed Pansy when the reason that he was staying with her was probably more important. Somehow that fact always got caught in his throat.

He paced the room of requirement with just one more day until the start of the biggest exams of his life. Why was he doing this? Why was he going to do this? Maybe she would understand, but she couldn't understand unless he told her the part about Kresta's tea, and he couldn't tell her that unless he told her the rest of the ugly mess. He wasn't going to do that, not before exams, not before he knew that she was in definite danger.

For all he knew they could be out of here before the polyjuice was even ready. He hoped for that every day. Kissing Pansy was something she might be able to redeem him of but plotting against her? That was something that she could never forgive. He just knew it.

He had sent her a note asking her to meet him after dinner. He hadn't eaten because he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to keep anything down. The anger he had for himself was brimming at this point and he couldn't handle it. He kicked the chair and the couch as he passed it with his pacing.

He was so nervous that when he heard the door click open he thought his heart might just pound out of his chest.

Hermione took one look at him and saw the distress he was in.

"Draco! What's wrong?" She ran to him and tried to reach out and touch him but he leapt back.

"Don't!" He said.

"Draco please, you're scaring me. What is it?" He could see the worry in her eyes and he looked away feeling wracked with guilt.

"I need to tell you something." He choked.

"Oh…Okay. What's going on?" She sat on the edge of the couch as he paced back an fourth.

She had no idea what had got him so worked up, she just wanted to hold him and calm him down.

"I wasn't where I said I was… on the break." He blurted.

Her brow furrowed. "You mean… you weren't at home?"

"No. I was…" He stopped pacing and panted a little. "I was at Pansy's." He said flatly and she took a sharp intake of breath.

He didn't say anything; he just let her absorb it.

"I thought you couldn't stand her." She said with bitterness to her words that made Draco's stomach turn.

"I can't but she came to my house to get me and-"

"And you're incapable of saying no?"

"Yes… I mean no! I don't…" He tried to find a good excuse but nothing seemed to be good enough.

"I take it that you're telling me because you did more than just see her behind my back." The pain had started to spread across her face and she wasn't meeting his eyes.

He sighed and hung his head.

"Right." She said with one look at him. "Did you kiss her?" She asked and Draco looked up and nodded, his face showing the agony inside him at telling her. "Did you sleep with her?" She almost spat the words and Draco shook his head.

"No, of course not… I, well we slept in the same bed but I was at one end and she-"

"So you can see how sleeping with her is bad but kissing her is on a whole other level? Why did you do it Draco? Do you want me to be like her? Because if that's the case then you might as well go back to her because I would never sink to her level." Tears spilled from her eyes and she shook her head. "I thought you didn't want to be that person anymore."

"I don't…"

"So why did you let her get to you? Why did you have to wait all this time to tell me? And right before exams? I can't believe you would do that!" She stood up and scoffed as she walked towards the door.

"Wait, please! There's something else…" he grabbed her arm to try and stop her from leaving but she snatched it away.

"No! I don't want to hear anything else you have to say! I have exams to prepare for and you have just made it a thousand times worse!" she stormed to the door.

"Please I need to tell you that-"

"I said no! Please don't try to talk to me anymore, I have work to do." As she opened the door and slammed it back he started to say what he had to but it was too late.

"You're in danger." He said softly to the empty room.

So that was it, that was how it was going to end for them?

He was definitely going to speak to her again; he would just have to wait until after her exams were over. He's done enough damage as it is.


	37. Chapter 37

Hermione tried to hold back her tears and she stormed back to the common room. How could he do that? She was probably angrier at the fact that he had waited until the day before exams to tell her than she was about what had happened.

Deep down she knew that he didn't mean it. She just needed tome to cool down and focus on her exams. It's not like what he had done didn't hurt her, of course it did. She wasn't going to let him just walk all over her, she knew they would have to talk it out. Clearly he was sorry but she couldn't understand why he didn't just say no, why he couldn't have told her to leave him alone. He did it once didn't he? He left her waiting on the train at Christmas.

_Stop it_, she told herself, _you have bigger things to worry about_.

Draco sat with his head in his hands on the couch of the room of requirement. Why did he tell her? Why did he do it in the first place? God, he hated himself in that moment. He wanted to tear the room apart but instead he maintained a firm grip in his hair.

What if she never forgave him?

_Don't be stupid, of course she's not going to forgive you. You betrayed her_.

Then there was the question of whether he should tell her about the plans.

Maybe they wouldn't have the potion ready on time.

Maybe they would take their attack elsewhere.

Maybe they were all in irrevocable trouble.

He couldn't think about all of this now. What was the point of failing all of his exams? What was the point in even doing them? They meant nothing if he faced a life in prison for associating with them.

He knew that he had to tell her. The question was when?

Hermione cleared her head, she put everything aside and let the textbook engulf her the night before her first written exam. When she was too exhausted to think she collapsed in a chair by the fire with weary bloodshot eyes.

Ginny came to sit by her and looked over.

"Are you alright Hermione? You look a bit off." She said.

"I'm fine Ginny; I just have an exam in the morning is all."

"Are you sure that's all?"

Hermione nodded and Ginny picked up one of her books to keep reading, she was finishing off her OWLS this year and halfway through her exams.

After a while of silence Hermione spoke up.

"Ginny? What would you do if… if Harry kissed another girl?" She didn't look up but Ginny shifted her eyes over to her.

"Why? Is something going on?"

"No, no, I was just thinking. It's one of those things isn't it?"

Ginny nodded, "well would he have just kissed her or… taken it further?"

"Just a kiss." Hermione said, because that was all he had told her.

Maybe there was more, but she had to be able to take his word, didn't she.

"Well I suppose I would give him a good yelling at and probably ignore him for a few days… but I think I would forgive him."

Hermione looked up. "Really?"

"Well, people make mistakes I guess. And I know he'd be sorry, you know what he's like, he wouldn't want to hurt anyone, especially me."

Hermione thought about it. Draco had always been so apologetic about everything he had done. He was so gentle and caring with her and she knew how Pansy set him off. The one thing that bothered her the most was that he waited this long to tell her, not to mention the fact that he waited until right before exams.

"Plus, a kiss is just a kiss really." Ginny added, breaking Hermione out of her thoughts.

"I suppose so."

"In all seriousness you don't know something do you because I will march up there and tear into him." Ginny said and Hermione managed a laugh.

"No! I don't." They talked for a little more before Hermione retreated to bed before her exam.

She was going to need an impossibly good sleep before tomorrow.

Draco woke up on the morning of the charms theoretical exam feeling like crap. He rubbed his eyes and sighed as he threw on his clothes and pushed his hair back.

He was just going to have to do the best he could but he was so distracted.

He headed down to the hall where there were rows of seats set up for their exams and waited to be ushered to his seat. It was the same one as always and he looked back a little to see if she was seated yet.

She was taking deep breaths to concentrate. Her eyes flickered up to him and he swallowed hard, that vulnerable look clear on his face. She sent him a small sympathetic smile before looking down at her paper.

He spun back around and exhaled. She wasn't totally repulsed by him.

"Before we commence I will go through with you the rules and structure of the examination…" the stiff looking woman here to supervise the exam began speaking and suddenly he felt ill.

So it begins.

After the exam Draco ran to catch up with her outside the hall. He felt pretty good about his exam and so he had a little more confidence in talking to her. He tapped her shoulder and when she saw that it was him he took her hand and guided her into a hidden corner.

"What are you doing?" She asked, looking around.

"You know that I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure-"

"Draco! Stop." She said, putting her hands on his shoulders. "I forgive you okay? But you just need to leave me alright? You dropped this on me right before exams and I need to focus so please just let me do that."

"But I-"

"No buts! Please, I forgive you but I just need to focus right now. I'll see you after the last exam." She gave him a small smile and pulled away from him.

He wanted to tell her about the possible attacks but he didn't want to burden her during exams. It's not like it would matter though…

Still, he had to leave her. It's what she wanted… but she forgave him. He sighed a little. His guilt was still crushing but if she forgave him and wanted to see him again after exams then she must not want this to end.

He headed off to the grounds before the practical exam and sat in the warm sunlight. Pansy soon came to sit next to him.

"Where did you run off to after the exam?" She asked.

"Out here." He said, pulling out his wand and casting a few simple charms that he knew he would be tested on.

Pansy watched him with a kind of transfixed stare. After a while of this she spoke up again. "I still haven't heard anything from them." She rested her head on her hands and squinted a little in the light.

Draco didn't say anything, he just practiced another spell.

"Maybe they're not even coming." She muttered.

"That'd be a bummer." He muttered back sarcastically.

"Of course it would be. I'm not risking everything for nothing." She hissed.

"So why do we have to?" He asked, almost sounding sincere.

"Because they deserve to be punished!" She spat.

He rolled his eyes and his spell went wrong.

"They humiliated us! They say they want equality but they want to put us beneath them. _Us_, of all wizards."

Something in her eyes told him that she was hurting but right at that moment he didn't care about Pansy.

"Something will be done." She said through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, I guess it will." He said under his breath.

The exam period lasted a while longer. He didn't talk to her at all, he let her have time.

He managed to get through the rest of his exams with a little more ease.

She forgave him at least, that much he knew. The only worrying part was whether she could do it a second time when she found out the whole truth.

He was sure that he passed his potions final without difficulty. It was much better with one of the officials than it was with that brainless professor Slughorn. His final exam was transfiguration.

He had moved through all the simpler tasks quickly but had finally started to struggle. He was on his third attempt at the final transfiguration and he was starting to break a sweat.

Eventually he completed it and he was free to go. It was done, finished. His school life was finally over after eight long years.

Tonight was the final school dinner for all the years. The younger years left in the morning while the sixth and seventh years stay for an extra two days, the sixth to take their apparition exam and the seventh to graduate.

Draco headed down in his full robes and cap, feeling ridiculous as he did every year. He felt no comfort in the fact that everyone else was dressed the same, though somehow Hermione looked quite sweet in hers.

He looked across the room at her as she began to smile again, her exams finally being over. She glanced his way and gave him a surprisingly warm smile before turning away.

"Are you day dreaming or something?" Pansy said and he rolled his eyes.

"Well I was." He scowled.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Well pull your head out of the clouds and get prepared."

"For what?" He said without thinking.

"I sent the stuff away. This is _happening_." She grinned.

His heart started to pound just as McGonagall began addressing the school.

"I want to thank you all for returning to Hogwarts this year, I know for some the decision did not come easily…" Her voice faded away as Draco started to panic.

They would be here is less than forty eight hours. The lower school would be on their way home but the rest of them would be blinded by their graduations. He had to do something… there had to be something he could do.

He had to see her tonight. He had to tell her, no matter what it meant for him. The thought of losing her entirely made his stomach twist and turn far more than knowing that they couldn't be together. He looked over to her, she was watching McGonagall with a little smile on her face that made him sigh. She was just so beautiful.

What was he going to do when he couldn't hold her anymore? Surely there was no one else that could make him ache like she does. But she could never feel for him what he wanted her to. Especially now, especially after his two confessions. She had forgiven one but there was no way she could forgive him twice.

He was anxious for the feast to finish so that he could meet her. Everything around him was going so slowly.

He barely at his food, he mostly picked at it and tapped his foot rhythmically while looking around erratically. Pansy nudged him a few times but he ignored it.

The second they were dismissed he left their table. He was one of the first out of the hall.

He turned the corner and pulled a piece of crumples parchment out of his robes and used his wand to scrawl a message.

_I need to see you now, it can't wait._

He sent it off to her and he made his way straight to the usual spot, hoping that she would show up.

"I can't believe it's finished." Hermione said as they headed back to the common room.

"I know, now I actually have to do something with my life." Ron said.

Harry laughed. "I'm sorry, do you think the last seven years have been a breeze and _now _you're in for trouble?"

"No, he just thinks that fighting off death eaters was a good way to avoid actual work. Now you have to do some serious training to be an auror." Hermione said.

"We should be able to skip the training, we've pretty much done more than that at this school." Ron said.

They were all floating about on that end of school buzz.

Hermione worried that they might drift apart in their new lives but somehow she knew that they were more than just the best of friends. The things they had done together had pretty much cemented that fact. As they climbed the stairs to the dormitory Hermione saw a piece of parchment flying her way. She grabbed it subtly, so that the others wouldn't see and opened it.

When she read the words her brow furrowed and she wondered what could possibly be so important. She looked ahead and the two boys were chatting intently and laughing so she took the chance to slip away.

The seventh floor wasn't that far away and Draco had never sent her a message like that before so something had to be going on. It was probably just that they hadn't seen each other since she said that she forgave him and he was feeling insecure, she thought to herself.

While she still seethed a bit at the fact that he had kissed her she was more annoyed at the fact that he had snubbed Pansy and she wouldn't let him go. Didn't she know when something was gone?

She passed the corridor and the door materialised. As she entered she saw Draco sitting on the couch in front of a roaring fire. She smiled until she saw the look of him.

He had dumped his robe and cap on the edge of the bed on one side of the room and it looked as though he had been running his hands through his hair. His shirt was scruffy and his tie was skewed. She could see the beads of sweat on his forehead and he was clenching and unclenching his fists on his knees.

"Draco…?" she said softly and he spun around as though he wasn't expecting anyone.

She let out a small gasp at his red bloodshot eyes; he hadn't looked like this earlier in the evening. It was almost as though he had been crying.

He looked up at her with his mouth hanging slightly open and the most defenceless look in his eyes. He shook his head a little and she moved forward to sit by him but he put a hand up to stop her.

"Don't…" He said, his voice cracking.

"Draco what's going on?" she asked.

"It's all my fault…" He whimpered, taking a hand to his hair and gripping it tightly.

She ignored his halting movement and took a seat by his side. "What's going on?"

"I should have done something… they're right… I'm nothing but a coward!" He spat the words out and she tried to take him in her arms. "No!" He pushed away from her and leapt off the couch to stand by the wall.

Hermione stood up to face him. "Draco what in the world is it?"

His face showed the hopelessness he felt. He was a failure to both sides, to his family, to the revolution; to Hermione… he couldn't seem to do right by anyone.

"I should have told you… you'll hate me…" He choked.

"I could never hate you…" She whispered.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, breathing heavily.

"Can you please just tell me what's got you so worked up?" He sighed and closed his eyes.

"There's… there's a movement happening…"

Her face turned, "What do you mean?"

He opened his eyes and looked into her eyes. "A revolution from the death eaters in hiding." She took a sharp intake of breath. "That's why I was with Pansy, we were meeting them in the break."

She looked as though she was going to say something but she just closed her mouth and her nostrils flared as she took the information in.

"That's not all…" she looked up at him and all he could see was the betrayal in her eyes but he needed to see it, he needed reality to hit him fully. "They're… coming here. Soon."

"They're what?" She said in disbelief.

"They want to take some pathetic revenge on the school for what happened. They can't handle the fact that they lost. That's why they want me to be a part of their twisted little games, that way they can torture me and use me to get what they want." He said, not really speaking to her anymore.

Hermione took a moment to let it sink in.

Vengeful death eaters were making their way to Hogwarts to exact revenge on its occupants. Draco had met with them months ago to make plans and he hadn't said anything.

Why did they want _him_?

Why wouldn't he say anything?

Why would he hide that?

She looked up at his face, the agony was breaking through and she could see everything.

They wanted him to stand up and prove that he wasn't a pathetic disloyal party, he had left the last war before it had finished, abandoning the cause. His family were outcasts and they would likely be targeted as part of their revenge so assuming Draco into their movement was another form of punishment.

First it was ostracism, next it was threats, then it was a trade; Draco's compliance for their lives. If he joined their cause they would see it as redemption for their past 'mistakes'. Draco hated what his parents did to him but she knew that he could never wish them dead. He had to protect them from what he knew was coming, especially his mother.

The reason that he didn't tell Hermione was because that would mean choosing between her and his family. Something that couldn't have been easy, something that he probably didn't even know he was doing.

And she could see from the guilt in his eyes that this wasn't what he wanted, this was never what he wanted. He was terrified of what could happen and he was pushing her away now so that it hurt less when he lost her.

She knew that he thought she couldn't forgive him again, that was clear, but Hermione has a pure heart and pure intentions. She tried to see the goodness in people and she wouldn't let Voldemort's followers manipulate her the way they did everyone else.

"We have to do something." She said slowly.

He looked up at her, confusion painted on his face. "What do you mean?"

"Well we can't let them get away with this and you know what's happening so we need you." She said.

If he lost her now all the progress he had made would have been for nothing and she knew that he wanted to be a better person.

"Didn't you hear me? I knew about this all along." He said with a little fire in his voice.

"I know you did, and you're telling me now aren't you?"

"How can you stand there and not loath me?" He asked, half angrily and half bewildered.

"I can understand why you did what you did, you might not realise but I know you better than you think." She said, getting a little heated herself.

"How can you possibly forgive a monster like me when I put you and everyone you care about in danger? Why would you do that?" He raised his voice and she rolled her eyes and grunted.

"You have got yourself so hung up on the idea that I would hate you because of this haven't you? Did you ever think that I might need you as much as you need me? And of course I'm going to forgive you, I love you and that means that I'm obliged to forgive you when you come clean with this because you're being honest. It's not your fault that this war happened and the fact that you came forward means you want things to change. That's what matters now." She said, hardly taking a breath.

He just started at her, his expression changed, his eyes softer than before.

"What did you say?" He asked quietly, not sure that he heard her right.

"I said that's what matters now." She repeated her last sentence and he shook his head.

"No, before that." He was hanging onto her words and she rolled her eyes again with another maddened grunt.

"Well I said-" She stopped herself when she realised what had actually come out of her mouth.

She looked over at him, their expressions mirroring one another. She took a deep breath and swallowed hard. Her mouth hangs open a little as he waited for something to come out of it. She sighed and relaxed her tense shoulders.

"I said I love you Draco." He swallowed hard as she repeated herself and then laughed a little. "I actually said it didn't I? Well, I guess this wasn't the best time for that to come out… but I meant it. I really do love you."

The corners of his lips twitched into a smile and he was giving her this look that she couldn't quite figure out. She even thought she saw his eyes get a little glassy as he walked towards her.

He stopped just in front of her and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. He leant in to kiss her and she couldn't help but kiss him back.

She said she loved him. He couldn't believe that she had actually said those words in that order. She _loved_ him. _She_ loved _him_. He had no idea why and he had thought that he would never believe those words if ever he heard them but she meant them. He knew she did.

"Tell me again…" He murmured into her lips and he felt her smile under his kiss.

"I love you." She whispered.

He lifted her up and held her against him, suddenly forgetting about everything else. What did it matter? As she wrapped her legs around him he held her tighter, determined to never let her fall.

She knew that there were more important things at hand but she couldn't bear to pull away from him now. She put her hands around the back of his neck and kissed him even more deeply. He stepped backwards and walked the two of them to the bed where he tore his lips from hers and laid her down.

He stared down at her as she smiled up at him and his heart beat drowned out every other sound. She was perfect, and she loved him. She had seen through the monster he showed and into the man inside who was broken and in desperate need of someone to hold him.

She took his tie and pulled it over his head. He leant over her and kissed her lips with small adoring caresses and she fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. He grabbed her hand and looked down into her eyes, his beaming with bright blue colour.

"What are you doing?" He asked softly.

"I don't want you to think that you don't deserve me, I just want you to… I just want _you_." She said.

He brushed her forehead with his fingertips and kissed her once before pulling his shirt over his head.

He pulled back the covers and they kicked off their shoes as they climbed under.

"Don't think that this is-" Hermione started but Draco cut her off with a kiss.

"Can you just kiss me?" He smiled and she laughed a little.

"Fine by me."

They undressed slowly, more interested in holding one another close than anything else. Her skin was so soft under his hands, every inch of her body as beautiful as the last. No one could possibly be so perfect. This had to be an ongoing dream that he just hasn't woken up from.

How else could he explain how magical he felt?

Her gentle fingers ran from his neck down over his chest and around to his lover back and he felt the shiver lick his skin. She arched her back to let him unclip her bra and he almost didn't look because he felt she was too good for that. He bit his lip a little and pulled back to look into her deep brown eyes.

"I believe you are blushing Mr Malfoy." She whispered with a smile.

He smiled and looked away from her eyes. "Well get used to it." He grumbled and she let out a laugh that filled him with warmth.

This time he didn't want to stop, he wanted every part of her to be his and this time he knew that he wasn't just that bad guy that didn't deserve her. He was the guy that she loved and the one who had done everything to make sure he was good enough for her. He wasn't just anyone anymore, he was the one that she loved.

"Are you sure you want me?" He whispered, rubbing his nose against hers with closed eyes.

"Always." She breathed.

He wasn't going to hold it back anymore because he wanted her too, and he knew that he always would.

They lay in the bed after in silence. He held her against him tightly, tangling his fingers with hers and kissing her shoulder gently. This night had started to badly, he thought that he was going to lose her for good but he knew now that nothing could make him let her go now.

"What are we going to do?" He asked her.

She sighed and pulled his hand to her lips. "You're not going to like it." She said.

"I didn't expect to."

"I have to tell them."

He closed his eyes; their secret was coming to an end. He knew that it would have to happen eventually.

"I want you to be here when I do."

He pulled back and she turned to look at him. "Are you crazy?"

"No, but you're the only one who knows the details about this revolution. Besides, I need you to be here for this." She squeezed his hand tighter and he nodded.

"Okay." He whispered. "When?"

"Tonight."

"What? Don't you think that we could wait until at least the morning?"

"No, they need time to wrap their heads around it before anything happens; I assume it'll be soon." She said.

"Before we leave on the last train." He said with a sigh, still feeling guilty.

"I'll go and get them all; maybe you should take a walk to cool off." She pulled out of his arms and sat up. "We should meet here in an hour."

He lay back and sighed, looking ahead with a blank stare.

Hermione leant back over and kissed his cheek. "You know that I don't blame you for this, don't you?"

He looked up with a weak smile. "I know, but you'll be the only one."

She returned the smile but sighed, knowing that it was the truth.


	38. Chapter 38

Hermione dressed herself quickly and headed out into the halls to round up her friends. Her heart pounded, and not just because she had just told him that she loved him. Maybe slightly because she was still exhilarated from her first time, but mostly because she was nervous about finally telling her friends about her relationship.

She knew that they were not going to be happy about it, how could they be? He had always been the enemy. He had been cruel to her. Sadly, she was the most forgiving of the group and she was the only one who would be so quick to find another reason for people's mistakes.

Well, apart from-

"Luna!" she saw that bouncing blonde hair turn a corner at the end of the passage.

She jogged to meet up with her as she turned and gave Hermione a little wave.

"Hello Hermione, are you alright?"

"Yes… well not really, are you going back to your common room?" She huffed, slightly out of breath from her frantic wandering.

"Actually I was just on my way to congratulate Neville on finishing his exams. What's going on?" she asked.

"I don't mean to butt in and ruin your night but I need you to tell him to gather the others and bring them to the room of requirement, it's urgent."

"Is this about you and Draco?"

"It's so much more than that." Hermione sighed.

"Oh, I thought that it might be." Luna shrugged a little.

"There's going to be an attack." Hermione said.

"My father did hear something like that, but he hasn't had the chance to publish yet." She sighed, "Who does Neville need to gather?"

"Harry, Ron… Seamus, Dean, Ginny, all of them. They should all know."

"I'll tell Neville to get them to meet you."

"As soon as possible. It needs to be now Luna." She looked as though she understood how urgent it was and nodded, heading off quickly to find Neville.

Hermione exhaled heavily. This was really happening; they were finally going to find out the truth about what she had been hiding all year. They weren't going to like it. Not at all.

Harry especially.

How was she supposed to explain to him that she was in love with the one student that he had hated all these years, that they all had? How was she going to tell him that there was more to him than he knew, that Draco was so much more than the bad boy he had portrayed over the last seven and a half years? This was going to be impossible. None of them would look for the good in Draco like she did; they just didn't want to see it.

Hermione wasn't even sure what had made her want to see him differently. Maybe it was that interest she had in him all those years ago that helped her to find who he really is.

She walked back to the room of requirement and when she opened the door she was surprised to see that it had changed.

Draco spun around quickly and instantly relaxed when she saw that it was her.

"What's going on in here?" She asked.

It looked more like the DA practice room than anywhere they had been this year, except with a round table off to one side.

"I left to go for a walk and when I came back it was like this." He sighed, clearly glad that it wasn't Harry or one of the others.

"Well I suppose it fits better than a couch, a cosy little fireplace and a bed." She shrugged and bit her lip a little.

Draco smiled and walked over to her, putting his hands on her waist and swaying her gently.

"When this is all over we'll go somewhere, just us, and I'll show you exactly how I'd like to treat you." He gave his eyebrows a flirty little flick and she laughed, looping her arms around his neck and pulling him in.

She breathed in the smell of his musky cologne and closed her eyes as he swayed her. His lips found the soft skin of her neck and kissed her gently, lingering there for a moment.

"You know what I liked most about what you just said?" She murmured.

"What?" He asked, placing another tender kiss just below her ear and making her giggle slightly.

"The fact that you said when, not if." She smiled into his chest.

"Well I don't plan on going anywhere without you." He said as he rested his head against hers.

Hermione let herself indulge in the moment for a while, taking in everything about him before she sighed and slipped out of his arms.

"Luna will be back with everyone soon. I have no idea how this is going to go." She said.

"They might not come." He said, his face turning sour.

If the hostility he was holding was anything like Harry's then this was not going to go well. They helped each other out last year but neither of them would be willing to admit it to themselves. They were back at school and it really did feel like it.

"They'll come, trust me." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair restlessly.

They sat at the table in mostly silence for over half an hour before the door started to open. Draco leapt out of his chair so fast that Hermione was taken by surprise. He stood by the chair and stared down the door with a look that could have been anger or hatred or terrified or a mix of the three.

When Luna walked through the door alone he almost fell back into his chair.

Hermione left him be and walked over to Luna. "Are they coming?"

"They'll be on their way soon, I didn't tell them about any attack, I figured it might be best to wait." She said, taking a quick look over at Draco. "Is he alright?"

Hermione looked back and Draco looked more than agitated. "I think he'll be fine, it's just getting it all out. He's not exactly the most flexible of beings." She whispered that last part and Luna smiled knowingly.

"Well I'll be on your side, you should know that much."

Hermione smiled; at least she could count on Luna. As she looked back to check on Draco the door began to open again and her head snapped towards it.

She let out a shaky breath. "Okay, just relax." She whispered to herself.

Ron walked through the door first, followed by Ginny and then Neville and Harry.

"Dean and Seamus are on their way." Neville said as Harry shut the door behind him.

"What's going on here?" Ron said, a perplexed look on his face.

"Is that… who I think it is?" Ginny said, pulling a disgusted face as she looked behind Hermione and Luna at Draco, who had now stood up from his chair and was staring back.

"Hermione what is going on here?" Harry asked, looking from Draco to her and then to Luna.

Draco walked over and stood next to Hermione. He didn't dare touch her, he would wait for her to say what she had to.

"What's he doing here?" Harry nodded his head towards Draco and pulled a derogatory face.

Draco gave a dark smirk but bit his tongue.

"He's here because he's the one with something to say." Hermione said nervously.

Draco looked a little smug as Harry just stood there puzzled.

Hermione saw and looked up at him as she spoke. "Don't." She said forcefully, knowing that he was inches from saying something very… _Draco_. She looked back at the others who all looked very confused. "I don't really know how to say this so I'm just going to come out and say it and that is that… Draco and I … have been seeing each other this year." She gulped and watched as all of their mouths dropped in disbelief. "You might not believe it but, it's true." She reached out and took Draco's hand.

"You can't be serious?" Ginny said, giving Draco a dark stare.

"Hermione, are you mad?" Harry said, still in a confounded state.

"Bloody hell."

"Yes I'm serious and no I'm not mad, there's more to him than you give him credit and-"

"Did you know?" Neville piped up, this time talking to Luna who nodded calmly.

Neville's eyes grew wide and his mouth shut abruptly.

"For how long?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed. "Probably about Christmas."

"How dare you." Ron said, looking at Draco. "She's far too good for you." He spat angrily.

"Well she doesn't seem to think so; in fact I think she quite likes me." Draco said, his face betraying the anger that was welling up inside him.

"You pathetic little prick." Ron spat and before anyone had the chance to react his fist had slammed into Draco's face, sending him flying backward.

He recoiled and put a hand to his face before gathering himself and hurtling towards Ron, thumping his fist into his gut and proceeding to try and get the upper hand.

"Stop it!" Hermione yelled, trying to grab Draco by the waist and pull him back as Harry and Ginny did the same for Ron.

When they were separated she put herself between them, a hand on each of their rising chests. "This isn't going to fix anything. Ron, you're going to have to accept that this is happening, I love him." Ron looked at her as though she had just said something that utterly defeated him.

"You what?" Ginny said.

"I said I love him." Hermione threw her hands in the air. "You can hate that as much as you like but it won't change the fact."

It was at that moment that Dean and Seamus walked in. "Blimey, what the hell is going on in here?" Seamus said. He took one look at Draco and pressed his tongue to his cheek. "What's with the snake?"

"Hermione, that's what." Ginny said, folding her arms over her chest.

"Are you mad?" Dean asked and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You know there is more to him than you all know, I happen to like him." Luna said, earning her a roomful of 'you can't be serious' stares, apart from Draco who gave her a weak, almost non-existent smile.

"I know it's a lot to take in but that's not the important thing right now, there's going to be an attack." Hermione said.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked. "What kind of attack?"

"Here, at Hogwarts, some kind of crazy revenge scheme. Draco knows more about it than I do."

"You mean they'd tell a traitor about their top secret plans?" Dean said with a smirk.

"No… they'd tell an accomplice." Ron launched himself at Draco again and the others had to use magic to pry them off one another before they tore each other apart.

"Can't you control yourself Weasley? Keep off me." Draco spat, blood trickling from his nose.

Ron snarled but Harry and Ginny held him back, a puffy blue mark forming under one eye.

"Look, we're going to have to work together for this. Please can we do that for the sake of the greater good?" Hermione asked.

"You think we would want to work with him?" Ron snapped.

"You listen here Ron Weasley!" They all turned to see Luna pointing a finger at Ron forcefully. "This is important and you should be able to work together, if not for Draco then what about for the rest of your friends?" Ron looked almost bashful, it was strange how Luna had that effect on people.

"She's right." Neville said, earning an eye roll from Ginny who probably thought that he was just trailing Luna like he always did. "If there's going to be an attack on Hogwarts then what does it matter? If he's going to help us and he knows what's going on then maybe we should just listen. Not saying I like him but they have got a point." He said.

Hermione didn't say anything for a moment and let it all sink in. She saw Harry's weary face and sent him a sympathetic look. He returned it with a sigh.

"Fine. I'll listen, and I'll do what I had to, but I don't think I can get used to the two of you… together. It's just…" He sighed again and left it at that.

One by one the others all begrudgingly nodded and settled down long enough to listen.

Draco explained their basic plans and how he was supposed to play a part in it and Hermione was impressed at how he managed to keep his mouth shut as they all shot him filthy glares, all but Luna and Neville who seemed to be putting his feelings aside for Luna.

"Well we need to go to McGonagall. She can tell us what we need to do, I'm sure we can get the ministry involved." Harry said.

"Well it'll have to be now; they could be here in the morning." Draco said more calmly than expected.

"So let's go then. The sooner we sort this out the sooner it'll all be over." Seamus said, pulling away from the group and heading for the door.

One by one they filed out and into the hall.

"I knew that there was someone, I just didn't think it would _ever_ be someone like him." Ginny said as she walked out of the door.

Harry didn't bother saying anything back to that, he just followed her out. Ron gave Hermione betrayed looks that make her chest get tight. She didn't want for it to be like this.

When he left it was just Hermione and Draco left.

"Well that went about as well as expected." She said, a tear falling from her eye.

Draco brushed it away and pecked her lips ever so gently with his. "You know I think I forgot to say something back there."

She looked up and into his eyes; hers were so glassy and brown. "What is it? Is it important?"

He smiled. "I meant to say that I love you too."

She closed her eyes slowly with a little smile. "I know." She said as she opened them again.

"Well… that is… quite a story." McGonagall said as she stood in front of the group in a night dress and cap up in the headmaster's office.

"How are we going to go about it professor?" Hermione asked.

Draco stood to one side of the room as the rest of them, Hermione and Luna included, stood on the other.

McGonagall sighed. "I can't say that I haven't been expecting this. We've been on alert from the ministry for weeks to report any suspicious behaviour." She said.

"You mean they know about this?" Harry asked.

"Well, no. Not exactly. They know that there are some who still believe in the purity of blood in the magical world and many who evaded capture at the end of the war. It is the latter that they have been searching for. We were afraid that the only way that they would surface would be in the full swing of an attack." She explained.

"So they've been keeping the wanted signs hidden have they?" Ron asked a little rudely.

McGonagall gave his face a quick examine before she answered. "There is no need for widespread panic in the wizarding community, nor is there reason to keep these people in complete hiding else they would never be caught."

"So what are we supposed to do?" Ginny asked.

"We're supposed to let them come like they planned." They all looked at Draco who had been working it out in his head. "Well if the castle is surrounded by the ministry then they rent going to show, are they?" He hissed a little but felt himself calm a little when he looked at Hermione.

"You're quite right Mr Malfoy, there is little more that can be done in this case. May I ask the rest of you to step outside for a moment; I would like to speak with Mr Malfoy alone." Draco gulped a little but the rest of them headed out without an argument, perhaps hoping that he would be punished.

The door closed slowly and McGonagall motioned for him to take a seat in front of her desk as she rounded the side and sat behind. His pale skin looked almost translucent in the candlelight.

"Am I going to be expelled days before graduation?" He asked.

McGonagall gave him a slight smile. "Not quite." He exhaled nervously. "I believe you are right about what must be done. You must go on acting as though nothing has changed, lure them into the castle before we can try to apprehend them."

"They'll take me to Azkaban, won't they? For working with _them_?" He said, his voice defeated and tired.

"I hardly believe that, and nor should you. After all, you have been informing me of minor developments since you found out, which has not been long at all." Draco looked up, confused.

"What do you mean, this is the first you're hearing of it… isn't it?" he said.

She gave him a look and he thought it through. She was… giving him a way out? But why?

McGonagall looked down at him as he thought about what she was doing for him. She could tell that he had changed his allegiances, she knew that from that day she had spoken to him just after the Christmas break. It was very clear why.

Besides, he was a devious child, not an evil one. If it came to it she would swear by oath that he had been following her direction after seeking her guidance over the matter. She knew very well that once she told the ministry of her plan they would not question it.

They wanted most to catch the remaining death eaters who were likely to act out and the only way was to be given a tip off as to their activities. Even if they were only to capture one or two it would be an endeavour well worth a little trickery.

She would send for the train to be ready by mid-morning so that the lower years were gone and she would make sure to protect every last student with her life if it came down to it.

Draco was one of her students and she would not make an exception to this rule for him. She would not let this boy go to Azkaban.

"I will describe what I need you to do for this to work. If you feel you cannot complete the task then we will just have to find another way." She said.

"I can do it. Whatever you need." He said.

McGonagall smiled. She was glad that he was finally playing for the team of his choice.

_Draco plays his part as he is supposed to, he lures them into a trap and once we have eyes on them, we alert the ministry. If all goes to plan then we won't have to fight them off longer than ten minutes. If you're in over your head you get yourself out, and remember, they might not look like death eaters to start, they're using polyjuice. It should wear off as they make their way through the castle, but be aware._

The plan ran over and over in Draco's head as he waited out in the grounds with Pansy the evening after. His heart pumped in his chest and he needed this to go perfectly. If he had any hope of a normal life after this then it all needed to go well.

It had to go well.

It just had to.


	39. Chapter 39

**_Morning _**_– Draco_

After going over the plan last night I have been running it through my head constantly. I act as though nothing has changed and lead them to the ambush. It sounds simple but I have my doubts about it.

My stomach churned all night with the nerves. If Pansy has any idea whatsoever about this then it might all fall to pieces, but she was too busy worrying about herself to notice. Besides, she has been putting over the fact that I keep turning her away. She can't stand it. Then again, I don't think she'll be too happy when she finds out why.

I thought about how Hermione must feel, she had to go back to her common room and face them all after having them find out about us, and probably not in the best way possible. Not that I care what they think, but she does.

I don't want to have to be nice to them; I know they won't show me that courtesy. I'll do it for Hermione but I'm not going to back down if one of them acts up. Especially if Weasley tries anything again.

I touched the side of my face gently with my hand. He was a pathetic excuse for a wizard but he could throw a punch.

I shouldn't be thinking that, I should be trying to make things work like she would want, but old habits die hard I suppose.

I stood up off my bed and headed out into the great hall for breakfast. I had tried to avoid Pansy all morning but I would have to face her at some point.

As I wandered up to the hall I saw many of the lower years heading out with their trunks and dressed up for going home. They still had time to get out before anything happened. I still didn't know exactly when they were going to arrive, just that it would either be today or tomorrow.

I walked over to the table and sat opposite from Pansy.

"Where have you been all morning?" She asked.

"In bed, school's finished remember?" I replied curtly.

"No need to snap with me, save all of that up for later." She said with a mouthful of food.

"When exactly is later?"

"Well I don't know, I won't know until it's time. Do you really think I get told anything good?"

I rolled my eyes. She never really got told much. She was just one of those people that others used when they wanted something but never really wanted her.

It's not like I feel all that bad about it, she's manipulative and cold to anyone willing to give her the time of day.

"Potter and their little freak show keep looking over here." Pansy said.

I turned to look over my shoulder and saw Potter turning away with a dark look. Weasley was trying to do anything but look this way and Hermione was sitting with her back to me. I wish I could see her face, just to see if she was okay. I just wanted a little smile to let me know that she was handling this alright.

I turned back to Pansy. "What do you think that's about?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Probably nothing. Best just to ignore them. They'll get what's coming to them."

I sighed. This was going to be a very long day. I glanced over my shoulder one last time and saw Hermione doing the same. She gave me the faintest of smiles and a reassuring nod. As I turned back to the table and exhaled shakily.

What have I gotten myself into?

**_Morning_**_ – Hermione_

He looked over from across the room just as I looked back. I could see the fear in his eyes, even from here. I gave him a supportive nod and he turned away.

As I looked back I caught Harry's betrayed face.

"Can you please stop looking at me like that?" I pleaded.

He hasn't said more than two words to me since after our meeting with McGonagall. He has never looked at me like that before.

He looked away and I steadied myself, holding back tears.

Ronald wouldn't even look at me but he seemed more hurt than anything else. Ginny was seething, I could tell from the way she bit down on her lip. I don't know what hurt her more, that it was Draco or that I didn't tell her about it earlier. They sat as far from me as they could manage and Dean and Seamus shook their heads at me whenever we made eye contact.

Neville sat by my side and I looked over at him.

"I suppose you aren't talking to me either?" I said, swallowing hard to stop my voice from cracking.

He looked at me with this confused look, much like his regular look only I know that he was caught between two things.

"I am, I just… don't understand how you could want anyone like him." He shrugged a little.

"I suppose people said that the first time you told them you were mad for Luna." I said, probably a little harshly.

He just looked at me and thought about it. "I guess." And with that he turned back to his food.

I can't stand this silence. We can't be a separated force when we could be attacked at any time. I shoved my food aside and left the table, their eyes burning me as they followed my trail. I hurried over to the Ravenclaw table and found Luna, sitting alone at the back of the hall.

She gave me a warm smile as I sat by her and reached out to give my hand a squeeze. As I looked at her the tears spilled out but I kept a straight face, not wanting to let myself get emotional when I needed to focus.

"They'll come around." She said quietly

"I'm not so sure they will Luna, it's a big adjustment." I wiped the tears away, feeling childish.

"I'm sure you've overcome worse." I laughed a little and shook my head.

"Maybe, but this is Malfoy we're talking about. It would have been like Ronald romancing Bellatrix." This time Luna stifled a giggle.

"It's not quite to that extreme I don't think." I smiled a little.

"No, I suppose not."

"You can't expect them to come around quite so quickly, like you said, it's a big adjustment."

I sighed. I knew she was right but it still hurt to have them snub me like this. It would take some getting used to but surely they couldn't ignore me forever.

This wasn't the end of the world was it? Considering everything else that's happened to us it shouldn't be, but what if this is one of the things they won't be able to ignore?

**_Early Afternoon_**_ – Ginny_

I still can't believe that it's true; I mean how could it be? How could she possibly fall for someone like _Malfoy_? And after everything!

We sat out in the grounds soaking up the sun, by 'we' I mean mostly everyone except Hermione, and Luna. I think that's even harder to believe. Luna knew, she _knew_!

Hermione trusted Luna more than me, and Luna is actually _friends_ with Malfoy? What else has been going on that we don't know about?

"I still can't believe it." I said.

"I don't know what she sees in him, how could she put aside all the crappy things he's done?" Seamus shrugged.

He and Dean were leant against a tree opposite Harry and I, Ron and Neville were sitting on either side.

Neville looked like he was trying to process everything, and failing. Ron was just playing with the grass.

"Well what are we supposed to do about this?" I said.

"There's nothing we can do, clearly she's made her mind up." Ron stated flatly.

I'm not sure if he's upset that Hermione was seeing Malfoy, or the fact that she was seeing anyone. He had a girl of his own now… kind of, but still. This seems like it would be a bit of a blow.

"Does anyone else feel like this is wrong? I mean here we are talking about her, all of us, and just leaving her alone." Dean said.

"Not totally alone…" I grumbled.

"There are probably more important things to be worrying about, like this attack that's supposedly coming." Harry said.

"And how are we supposed to trust that it really will happen? All we have is Malfoy's word for it. How do we know that he isn't working for them and leading _us_ into an ambush?" I asked.

"Hermione trusts him." Seamus said, a little sarcastically.

"McGonagall seemed to believe his story." Ron offered.

"She's got a point; I mean why would he bother changing sides?" Dean said.

I shot his a smile and saw Harry bite his lip a little. He was still a little jealous that Dean and I had been together at one point, I knew that, but right now he seemed to be the only one to be backing me up.

"I suppose he could have bewitched her, some kind of stupid love potion or something. You know, gain her trust and lead them straight to you Harry. It's got to be you that they want revenge on." Seamus said.

"So what part does Luna have in this then?" Ron asked.

"Did you know that she and Malfoy… talked or whatever it is that they do?" I looked over at Neville.

"No, of course not. She knew that I wouldn't like it." He said, his face brooding over everything.

He mumbled something else that I didn't quite catch and then went quiet again.

"I still don't think talking about them like this is going to help. We should just do what we are supposed to do, just be wary of him." Dean shrugged. "You know, if he looks like he's a bit dodgy then sort him out."

Harry and Ron didn't seem to be doing much talking, I suppose it's harder on them than the rest of us, though I am quite upset that both Hermione and Luna knew things and didn't tell me.

"I guess that's all we can do." Seamus said.

"I still don't trust him." Ron shook his head.

"Well none of us do, do we? But we need to just go by what McGonagall said and keep an eye on him. If he is just playing with her then we'll take him down, okay?" Harry said, agitation in his voice.

"Agreed." I said, and the others all nodded.

I didn't trust Malfoy, not one single bit. All it would take is one tiny slip up on his part and I _will_ make sure he goes down.

**_Evening_**_ – Luna_

The students from the lower years have all been sent home, now it's just the sixth and seventh years. The good thing about being a sixth year is that there's only one year above me that finds it amusing to hide my belongings. So far I only have one pair of shoes and two cardigans to find.

It has been quite a good year this time around.

I walked up and down the halls searching. It shouldn't be too hard; they're quite lovely coloured cardigans. I turned down one of the fourth floor corridors when I heard someone calling out my name. Of course I recognised the voice, how could I not?

"Luna, wait!" I turned slowly to see Neville following me, a little out of breath.

"You haven't come to see me all day. I was beginning to think you might not want to see me." I said

He looked a little bashful as his cheeks flushed. "Sorry, I was just… wrapping my head around things."

"You don't need to apologise, I understand." I gave him a smile and he sighed.

"I know you do, you always do. That's why it's so hard." I felt a little nervous for a moment.

I couldn't tell where he was going with his train of thought. He had spent all day, thinking, about things. I hope I haven't pushed him away.

"What's on your mind Neville?"

"I just… I don't know how you could have been friends with him for so long; you know what he's put me through." He sighed; I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"I know how he made you feel, but he was hurting on his own. I couldn't just leave him. The first time I talked to him was in my fifth year." I said.

I didn't want to make excuses; I just wanted Neville to know the truth.

"Why would you talk to him?" He looked so betrayed, but I know he'll come to understand.

"He was upset; he looked like he was in a lot of pain. I didn't want to just leave him alone. Would you have done?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

He sighed and leant against the wall. "I don't know what I would have done." He folded his arms and I looked away.

"I never wanted to hurt you Neville, you have to know that."

"I do! Of course I do! I just… sometimes… I guess I wish I was more like you in that way." He looked up and I didn't quite understand.

"More like me? Why would you say that?"

"You see the good in everyone. I wish I could do that."

"You can, you know that you can choose to look past the things that someone has done." I stepped closer to him and he looked up with uncertainty.

"I don't know if I can, this is Malfoy, it's not like it's just anyone. He tormented me all through the first few years, Hermione too. I just can't see how she could change her mind like this." I pressed a hand to his cheek and smiled comfortingly.

"She knows how hard it was for _her_ these last few years. She just figures that he probably had a lot more to deal with. It's not like he ever asked for what he got. If the Dark Lord had told you he would kill you and your family if you didn't do what he asked would you do it?" He just sighed. "I know, I don't know what I would do either. We're just lucky that we grew up with our parents on the right side. It shouldn't have been our war to fight, not yours or mine, or Draco's."

He just looked at me, his eyes telling me that he understood me, but I don't know if he's completely convinced.

I suppose only time will tell.

**_Evening _**_–_

Hermione sat at her table nervously at dinner that night. She picked at her food in silence as Harry and Ginny sat further than usual from her and Ron sat opposite them. She saw Neville and Luna head into the hall and she sat down alone at the Ravenclaw table while Neville came to sit in front of her.

He smiled weakly but only for a moment before piling a small amount of food onto his plate. She looked over at Draco who was reading a book while Pansy rattled on to him about something. Time was ticking; it had to be happening soon didn't it?

Draco pretended to read as Pansy whispered her complaints to him.

"Why haven't they said anything? Are they planning on taking us by surprise as well? I'm getting really impatient. I just want this to start!" He groaned and ignored her but his heart was pumping.

_What if they were going to surprise them all?_ That would really ruin the plan.

"Are you even listening to me?" Pansy asked in her nasally voice and Draco snapped.

"For goodness sake would you be quiet?"

She rolled her eyes and went back to eating.

It wasn't long before the students started filing out of the hall and Draco snapped his book shut to follow their lead. He took a long detour through the halls before going back to the dungeons. He was surprised to see Hermione standing out in the cool breeze looking over the grounds. He looked around to see if there was anyone nearby before he walked over to her.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked and she jumped a little.

"Oh!" He watched her turn her face away and not so subtly wipe tears from her cheeks. "I didn't know you were there." She turned back and tried to pretend that he hadn't seen.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine, just… I just wish they could understand all of this." He pulled her into him and kissed her head. "Do you know if they're coming yet?" She mumbled.

"Not yet, I don't know anything." For a moment he just held her close to him.

He tried to forget about everything and just hold her but this time it didn't seem to work. She pulled away quickly.

"Someone's coming." She said.

He let her go and stepped back just as she turned the corner and hid behind the wall. Luckily, she was just in time.

"Draco? What are you doing out here?" Pansy asked as she looked around.

"What? Nothing, getting some air."

"Well get it and let's go. It's time. They'll be here in less than half an hour; we need to get to the edge of the grounds!"

Draco's heart almost stopped. He knew Hermione could hear this so he didn't need to bother staying to warn her.

"I'm coming." He said and followed her away.

He looked back down the hall and saw Hermione step out from behind the wall, a worried look on her face.

This is it, this is where it begins.

**_Nightfall_**_ –Draco_

Pansy and I snuck out of the castle not long ago. We made our way through the grounds with just our wands and the moon for lighting. My breath was visible under my nose and I followed Pansy who obviously knew the meeting place better than I did.

I almost tripped over a few times and got increasingly more worked up each time. I could feel my blood pumping and I was starting to doubt the plan. I got worse as we found the place and waited.

"They should be here soon." She said, shining her light in my eyes.

"Would you put that thing down?" I hissed.

She seemed to growl at me a little but then I heard a thud come from my left. Then another one.

They were here.

As I turned to look over a figure on a broom swished past me and caused me to duck.

"Long time no see Draco!" he laughed and landed with an even bigger thud.

I shone my wand light on the man and squinted. "Blaise?" I said.

He grinned at me and pulled me into a hug. I hadn't seen him since after the last war. He just seemed to disappear.

"Where have you been all year?" I said as I pulled away.

"Around." He said.

I noticed that he was wearing his old robes and then a group of students that I recognised from around the place walking towards us as well as some of the old death eaters from the group.

"I wonder whose bright idea it was to give me the skinny little blonde kid." I recognised Kresta from the body of what seemed to be a third year.

She… He, didn't look happy.

"Well I quite like the one I've been given." Mulciber smirked in the body of a fifth year girl and I shuddered.

Dalton hadn't taken any polyjuice and Donahue looked like a fourth year boy from my house. I recognise him.

"What are we waiting for? Let's get going." Dalton said roughly.

"Where exactly are we going?" Kresta asked.

"Follow me." I said and began to lead them back to the castle.

**_Nightfall_**_ – The End_

Hermione had run straight to McGonagall's office to warn her. She waited only as long as it took for Pansy and Draco to leave the hall before she made her move.

McGonagall sent an owl straight to the ministry and sent one of the former headmasters to alert the remaining members of the order. She asked Hermione to rouse her house and tell anyone who did not wish to fight to head straight down to the dungeons. Some of the teachers would be there shortly to guard the entrance.

Hermione went straight to the common room where most of her friends were sitting by the fire.

"It's happening. It's happening now." She said, slightly out of breath.

Harry stood up and nodded, knowing what they had to do. They gathered the other Gryffindors and sent the ones who didn't want to be a part of this into the dungeons. Draco and Pansy had definitely left the castle now and Pansy would be unaware of everything that was happening.

They gathered in the hallway, Flitwick already there and McGonagall on her way.

Luna ran to join them and a few other students milled about just waiting.

She came over and took Neville by the hand. He seemed to appreciate that very much.

"Now listen here students!" McGonagall spoke up and gathered them around. "I do not want to see anyone being reckless. If you believe your life is in direct danger I want you to leave, straight away and without hesitation. I will not put my students' lives at risk. The ministry has been alerted and will be here shortly. If you are able to restrain your counterparts then do so with no hazard to yourself. I will give you all one last chance before they arrive to leave this hallway. Please, if you are unsure about yourself do not stay." No one moved, they just looked around to see if anyone was going to leave. "No matter what happens I will not have any unforgivable cursing in these halls. Am I understood?" Everyone nodded and McGonagall ushered them all into the shadows.

Hermione stood by Ginny who was making a big deal not to speak to her.

"Ginny…" She said to no reply. "Ginny you have to speak to me at some point."

"Well right now I don't because if we keep speaking this won't be a very effective ambush." She snapped and Hermione said nothing in return.

Draco led them over the grounds and up into the castle. The ones who had taken the polyjuice were the first to follow, the others hanging back until they were given the all clear. There were at least twenty of them, as Draco had counted. He hoped that there was more than that to oppose them.

They were almost at the corridor that they had agreed upon and Draco felt like he was going to go weak. He was so nervous. What if it worked? What if it didn't? He just didn't know what was going to happen.

He turned the corner to the hall and stared it down. It looked bare, barren, but he knew that hidden by shadows and pillars were the students and staff, waiting.

"Are you sure this is the right way?" One of the death eaters asked.

"Yes." Draco said as they began walking down the hallway.

"As I remember, this wasn't the way to get to the headmaster's office." Blaise said suspiciously and Draco turned to look at them.

"Are you looking for me?" Draco turned back just as McGonagall was raising her wand. "Well then I think you've come to the right place."

Draco leapt out of the way before she cast a spell that sent a great gust of wind billowing down the hall.

"It's an ambush!" Mulciber roared.

They were knocked off their feet and the lamps on the walls lit up as the students stepped out from their hiding places with their wands at the ready. Draco steadied himself and as the death eaters were readying themselves he aligned himself beside Hermione who gave him something vaguely reminiscent of a smile before turning her attention back to the enemy.

"Draco! What are you doing?" Pansy hissed in a high pitched voice.

"I knew he was a traitor." Mulciber growled, the polyjuice beginning to wear off.

"You're the traitor." Draco said before sending a curse in Mulciber's direction.

With that spell he ignited the battle.

It seemed as though there were more students than death eaters but there was no way to tell, it seemed an even match between them. Hermione sent a spell flying directly at Kresta who blocked it and had something worse spiralling back.

Harry was duelling with an unknown death eater who was very quick on his feet while Seamus took on Dalton. Dean and Ginny battled with Donahue as best they could and Ron was locked in a vicious battle with Blaise.

"Is there really nothing you're good for out there that you had to come back here and fight with _them_?" Ron taunted.

"And what would a blood traitor like you know about it?" Blaise spat, firing a whole lot of red sparks out of his wand and almost into Ron who ducked for cover.

Luna was battling with Pansy who was distracted by Draco and his betrayal of the other side.

"It doesn't have to be like this Pansy!" Luna said as forcefully as she could with her timid voice

"You don't know anything do you Lovegood?! We'd all have been better off if your mother had taken you with her!" Luna felt herself fill with anger and for a moment she froze.

Pansy sent a hex her way but it was blocked as Neville intervened. He stepped in front of Luna and held his wand in front of him.

"You're both pathetic!" She screamed.

McGonagall blocked everything that came at her and came to the aid of the students in trouble. She was undoubtedly the most powerful witch there but she was only aiming to disarm. She knew the ministry were very close by.

Draco and Mulciber battled it out, Mulciber's rage overpowering Draco's. Draco was unable to mount any attack; all he could do was defend himself from the blows.

When Mulciber suddenly spiralled through the air he didn't understand until he looked up and saw Hermione holding out her wand. She ran to him and helped him off the ground. She kept her hand in his for a moment and then they heard the scream.

"_You_!" Pansy's incensed voice rang out through the hall as she saw them together and began an immediate attack on Hermione who dodged and countered.

Draco turned back to Mulciber who had regained his footing.

"I see you like mudbloods; I wonder what your father would say." He grinned with blackened teeth and shot sparks toward Draco.

"My father will hear about this… but it won't be from me." Draco said, deflecting the spell back.

"Oh you're right about that. When we get out of here I'll be _sure_ to pay him a personal visit." Draco sent a curse flying at him and he just laughed back.

The battle ensued, hexes and spells flying through the hall in all directions. McGonagall wasn't about to let her students be killed in the corridors of her school and she saw to it that their safety was put well before her own. Flitwick was standing beside a group of sixth years fighting of two death eaters trying to protect them.

Harry sent his death eater flying into one of the pillars, knocking him out, just as Blaise hit Ron with a stinging jinx.

It was enough for Blaise to strike but he stopped, staring out into the grounds. He saw the brooms and the light and knew exactly what it was.

"It's the ministry! They're here!" He yelled.

"Back _down_!" Donahue yelled when he saw the lights approaching.

As the death eaters began to run to the nearest exits the students held their wands at the ready, some of them chasing after their enemies.

"Pansy let's go!" Blaise yelled as Mulciber created a barrier between the students and the fleeing death eaters.

Hermione turned to look at the flames as the heat licked her skin. She wasn't ready for the strike.

"Not before I _finish_ her!" Pansy shrieked, her eyes full of hatred.

Draco looked over to her just as it happened. He saw her raise her wand, almost as though it was happening in slow motion. Hermione didn't see it coming; she had been caught with a distraction.

Pansy raised her wand, it seemed like it took her forever to do so, and Draco ran for Hermione.

"Hermione!" He yelled.

She looked over to Pansy right as the spell was leaving her lips, the green sparks violently erupting from her wand.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Hermione gasped and had no time to react when Draco leapt in front of her, his body jolted by the impact of the spell and his eyes locked on Hermione's as the air left his body. His hand looked as though it was reaching out for her but no sooner had he appeared before her was he falling to the ground, his eyes rolling back in his head, and coming to a startling halt when his lifeless body hit the floor.

Pansy fell to her knees with tears in her eyes and a pained howl as Blaise dragged her away, a mistiness in his eyes as he realised what she had done.

Hermione just stared down at him lying there. She collapsed to her knees and rolled him onto his back.

"Draco?!" She screamed. "_Draco_!" she shook his body but he didn't move, he didn't startle.

He just lay there on the cold stone floor as the death eaters disappeared into the dark castle halls and the ministry advanced on them.

Tears streamed down her face as she tried to comprehend what had just happened.

"No!" She cried, the other students slowly noticing the scene amidst them. "No, please! Draco no!" she wailed and pressed a hand to his cheek.

This couldn't be happening.

Luna looked over with cloudy eyes and McGonagall put a hand to her chest, guilty for the part that she played.

Hermione held tightly onto his limp hand and brushed the hair out of his face but he wasn't going to wake up. He was never going to wake up.

Draco was dead.


	40. Chapter 40

Hermione sat alone on the stairs as Madame Pomfrey attended to some of the students' minor wounds and abrasions. She felt numb in her entire body. It couldn't be happening. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

She had pleaded for what felt like so long for him to come back to her. She screamed and kicked when Ron pulled her away and held her so that they could take his body up to the infirmary until something else could be done.

She fought so hard against him but Ron wouldn't let her go.

The ministry had apprehended some of the death eaters, but not enough. Only six of them were caught. The rest of them, including Pansy, Blaise and Mulciber, got away. They must have left the grounds and apparated.

The ministry didn't seem too upset about Draco's death, in fact, they seemed to think it was probably for the best.

"A boy like that would never find a proper job, not after everything." One of them had said.

Why had he done that? Why did he have to save her? Her eyes were sore from the tears and so far Luna has been the only one to come and sit by her. She didn't say anything; she just sat there by her side and rested her head against Hermione's shoulder for a while before getting up and walking away.

What felt like forever had really only been a few hours but it was a few hours since Draco's death. If this was what it was going to feel like from now on then she didn't know if she could take it.

The look in his eyes when it happened wouldn't leave Hermione's mind. It was like they were saying I love you, something he had only said the once but she knew that if he could say one last thing, that would be it.

She had an ache in the pit of her chest where she had loved him. It was like an angry clawing beast that would not stop and she feared that it would never do so.

As she stared off into the empty space ahead she heard someone sit down by her side. She looked over to see Ron sitting next to her and giving her a feeble smile. She turned away again and he cleared his throat.

"I uh… I just wanted to see how you were doing." He said softly.

She just sighed and tried to stop any more tears from falling.

"I um, I also wanted to say sorry for not being more… supportive of… everything yesterday." He said.

"You don't have to apologise. I didn't think your reaction would be any better. But it doesn't matter now." She sniffed and turned even further away so that he couldn't see the tear fall.

"Well, still. I guess I didn't think it could possibly be true. You know… that you… _loved_ each other. I just want to say that I was wrong for thinking that."

She looked back. "Why? I know how much you hated it."

"Well that was before…"

"So because he's… dead, that makes a difference?" That word got caught in her throat as it came out.

"No, because I saw everything. You don't go jumping in front of the killing curse for just anyone." Hermione sighed. "I mean, I watched it happen. Pansy yelled something and I looked over, then I heard him call out to you. He just… Ran… he must have known it was coming but he just jumped right in front of you. I don't know if I could do that. I mean we all like to think that we would do that for someone we love, but I don't know if I could you know?"

He tried to think it all through. He saw Draco give up his own life for Hermione. Would he have done that? Like he said, he hoped he would have but you never really know until you reach that penultimate moment. When you see that someone is about to die and the only way to save them is to sacrifice yourself you have to just react. No thinking.

Draco just saved her life without needing to think. How else could you explain that other than coming to the conclusion that he loved her? He must have loved her a lot to do that.

Hermione looked up at him and forced a smile. "Thank you." She whispered.

He put his arm around her shoulders and she nuzzled into him. It had always been Harry that she looked to for comfort like this but surprisingly it wasn't weird for Ron to console her. She let herself cry for a while as Ron thought things over. When the thought was straight in his head he cleared his throat again.

"Hermione…" He said slowly.

"Yes?"

"I was just thinking… I mean… I don't really know how you did it I only remember you and Harry telling me about it…" He started.

She pulled away a bit and looked up at him. "What is it Ron?"

"Well, you remember back in third year… after Sirius dragged me to the Shrieking Shack and all of that… you and Harry used some-"

"The time turner…" She breathed.

"Yeah, you used it to-"

"Oh my god, Ron, you're right."

"So would that work?"

"Yes, well, maybe, if we do everything right. I can't believe I didn't think of that…" Her eyes grew wide as she thought it through.

It might not work but it was the only way that she could change this. She had to try, she had to do something.

"Well just tell me what you need. I'll help you." Ron said.

"We have to go, now." She said, suddenly all feeling coming back to her.

She stood up quickly and pulled Ron up with her.

"Where?" He began to follow her as she led him down the halls, past all of the students recovering.

One student was being treated for a broken arm and another for a nasty case of one stinging jinx or another but Hermione kept moving.

"Slow down!" Ron called.

"To the common room, I have to get it first, I'll explain it later but we need to go!" Hermione started to run.

In her opinion she couldn't get there fast enough. This was her only chance at saving Draco and she wasn't going to mess it up.

They made their way to the common room and Ron waited by the fire while Hermione headed up to her dormitory and fumbled about for her time turner. When she found the little pouch with it inside she grinned. It had to work, it just had to.

She ran down the stairs and Ron hopped out of the chair when he saw her coming.

"Is that it?" He asked as she put it around their necks.

"Yes, that's it. How long ago did we find out about this?"

"I don't know, about three and a half hours?"

"I'll do four turns, we weren't in here four hours ago were we?"

"No, we were at dinner." He said.

"Good." She said as she exhaled. "Here goes nothing."

She turned the little hourglass back four times and watched it spin as they tried the only thing that could save him.

**_Nightfall 4 hours prior_**_ – Ron_

Alright, first things first, I'm not sure I have any idea what just happened. Everything around us went all blurry and then suddenly it all stopped. The weird thing is that it's just about sunset outside.

I stared out the window but Hermione just pulled the necklace off my neck and went to sit on the couch.

"This is just mental." I said.

"Ron come over here we need to figure out what we're going to do." I turned away from the window and walked over to sit with her.

"Alright well, before we do, can you just explain this thing a bit?"

"Yes but it'll have to be quick."

"Well just tell me; we've gone back four hours right?" She nodded. "Okay, so what we want to do is change what happened, obviously, but what happens if we do change it? Do we change everything?" I was starting to get a little more confused but she just stopped me.

"Alright, the first thing you need to know is that you shouldn't think about it too much or you'll drive yourself mad. The second thing is that you can't let yourself see you, you'll _think_ you're going mad."

"So I'm sensing a lot of me going mad." I said and she gave me a stern look so I shut my mouth. She was dead serious about this.

That was probably a bad phrase; she was _really_ serious about it.

"So here's the basics… What happens is that yes, we've gone back four hours but everyone else is still doing exactly what they were at this time, including us. The only time it changes is when we make it change. So if we do change things, we'll be the only ones who know what really happened, the rest of them will only have the one memory of it."

I nodded, not entirely sure what was going on but I think I understand the important parts.

"The minute we change something it will affect everything else, and like I said, don't let yourself see you, bad things happen when you mess with time." When those words came out her face dropped a little, like she was remembering something, but I wasn't about to ask.

"Dumbledore always said that you can't bring back the dead but he knew about this. I mean why didn't we use it more often?" I asked.

"Because this kind of thing is risky. We used it for Buckbeak and Sirius because we had to, sometimes things just need to play out the way they do for everything to work properly in the end. This is a pretty big risk actually and if McGonagall knew she would probably have a massive fit. I just…" She sighed and then took a deep breath.

"Hey…" I put my hand on her shoulder and she looked up at me. "This was pretty much my idea so if she ever does, just tell her I talked you into it." She laughed a little and I smiled.

She had such a beautiful smile.

Sometimes I wish that we had worked out for the better, but I don't think I love her that way. I always thought I did but I guess I liked the idea of us more than actually being together. I know she felt the same. Beside, things seemed to be going well with me and Kate. I really do like her and she seems pretty happy with me. If we get through this alright I'll have to introduce her to everyone.

"I think it's both of our faults." She said. "So what we have to do is find somewhere that we can interfere without being seen… or killed."

"Ah…" I said.

"We didn't think this through, did we?"

"Not really but I guess we have a bit of time now."

"About an hour."

"Well let's get on with it then."

We sat down for about half an hour trying to come up with a plan, there was less than an hour to go after that. Plus, we had to leave the common room because people had started to come up and I knew that we would be here soon.

That is still so weird.

Eventually we decided that we would wait at the end of the hall, far enough away from the battle to stay out of everyone's way but not so far that we couldn't see what was happening. We made a deal that if anything went wrong for us we would have to help out the other versions of ourselves… I know it's confusing but I sort of understand it.

I just mean that I need to keep an eye on her in the battle and she needs to keep one on me. This whole thing could go wrong if we make a mistake. I still don't fully understand how it works. I just know that if it goes right we will save Malfoy and no one will ever have to know that he died.

I never thought I'd say that.

"Hermione?" I said.

We were waiting at the end of the hall for everything to begin, it would only be another twenty-or-so minutes before it started.

"Yes?" She looked over, I could see that she was nervous but she was trying to hide it.

"I… I just want to say that I'm sorry for punching him and ignoring you…" I turned away, embarrassed at how I had treated her. "I mean if I could go back now I would have stood by your side. I just couldn't believe that it was the truth you know? I'm not saying that I'm happy about it… it's just weird… and I'm not saying that I like the guy because… well frankly he's a bit of a mop head – no offence – but you… _love_ him, so if this works out then I promise I'll try to… not punch him in the mouth." I looked back up at her and she smiled and hugged me.

"Thank you." She whispered.

I thought she might let go of me sooner but she didn't. I think she just needed a moment to cool down and relax before we did this again.

I really did mean it though. I think Malfoy's a right git, but he's not to her, and he saved her, so I guess I can tolerate him for her sake. I think I owe her that, as her friend.

It wasn't long before we heard McGonagall's voice ring out in the hall and look around the corner to see everyone gathered around her.

I had a slight panic when I saw myself standing there. Hermione reassured me that it would be fine, or maybe she was just telling herself. Whatever happens, we really needed to make sure we got this right.

**_The Battle_**_ – _

Ron and Hermione waited patiently as everyone hid in the shadows. Ron looked out over the grounds and pointed out silently the small light that was almost at the castle doors. They looked at one another and nodded.

They had promised not to interfere unless they had to. They only wanted one thing to change and that was right at the very end.

Hermione was breathing very hard and Ron had his fingers wrapped so tightly around his wand that it could have splintered into his hand. When they heard Draco speak they didn't dare look around the corner, McGonagall needed to be the one to break this ambush open.

On her cue they looked around and the students formed their barricade. When Draco began his battle with Mulciber all hell broke loose. They watched as the students fought with the death eaters, one of them sending a student flying back towards them. Hermione reacted and cushioned his blow, the student standing up a little dazed before rushing back in.

"It's completely mental." Ron said as he stared into it.

Hermione watched Neville run to help the boy who had just flown past them and she looked for Luna, she was dealing with Pansy.

"Oh no…" She remembered what came next and thought fast.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" She whispered.

The otter expelled from her wand and weaved through the students until it reached Pansy and twisted around her.

"What is this!" She squealed and Luna looked around at Hermione who was struggling with Kresta.

She looked a little confused and sent another jinx towards Pansy.

Draco looked over at the patronus and recognised it instantly. It was enough of a distraction to let Mulciber get the upper hand and send him flying back into a wall and into the ground. The otter made its way over to him and twirl around his body but he screamed so violently at it that it dissipated in the air.

Hermione watched as Ron battled with Blaise, the two of them letting their angers out on one another.

"It's almost finished." Ron whispered to her as he saw Blaise send him soaring into a pillar.

Neville hexed Blaise and Ron had a panicked look on his face.

"This didn't happen before." He said.

"I changed it with my spell, he's supposed to see them coming." Hermione said.

"Well that's good isn't it? The ministry will catch them." Ron said.

"Not necessarily…" Their heads whipped around to the sound of Seamus' screams and saw him holding his arm.

"What are we going to do?" Ron said, his breathing getting heavier.

"Go around and try to help the ministry cut them off, now!" She yelled and he ran as fast as he could down another passage.

She thought for a minute and knew that she had to do it.

"It's the ministry! They're here!" She cupped her hands over her mouth and yelled into the corridor.

She flung herself back around as they looked in her direction and one of them must have seen them coming.

"Back down!" Yelled Mulciber as the other death eaters began to run.

She saw the yellow light illuminate the hallway as the flames prevented students from getting past the death eaters. She didn't know what had changed but she knew that she had changed things with her patronus.

Then Hermione heard Pansy's jealous shriek and stepped out from behind her wall.

"Oh no you don't." She muttered to herself and sent a stinging jinx heading straight for Pansy's face.

She had only just begun to raise her wand when she was propelled backward by the force of the spell and into the arms of Blaise who proceeded to drag her away with the others.

Hermione let out the breath that she had been holding and couldn't believe that it had just worked. She watched as the flames died down and Draco and a few of the others chased the death eaters down the passage.

He was alive. Draco was alive.

She felt the smile spread to her lips and couldn't help but laugh at her luck. She couldn't believe that it had worked.

She almost forgot that by keeping him alive she had inadvertently changed the future, probably in a dramatic way. The difference one life makes is quite extraordinary really. She let herself slump to the ground against the wall as she took everything in.

What did any of the rest of it matter? Draco was alive.

The ministry had still only managed to catch eight of the death eaters, this time they were able to capture Donahue. Ron had tried to help but when he saw that he had been one of those to chase after the death eaters he backed away, managing to stun one of them which led to his capture.

He came back around to find Hermione watching the scene unfold in the aftermath of the battle. When she saw him she jumped up and threw herself into his arms.

"We did it." She said and he just hugged her back.

They watched as Madame Pomfrey came down to assist and Hermione gasped when she saw Seamus lying limp on the ground. They saw Harry walk up to him and put a hand against his neck.

Ginny watched him and held her breath. "Is he…?" She asked quietly.

Harry shook his head. "He's alive."

Ron and Hermione let out a sigh of relief, neither of them would have been able to forgive themselves if they had come back to save a life only to have another one taken away. Stretchers floated in and began carrying people off to the sick bay while Madame Pomfrey pulled a whole number of tonics out of her pockets and gave them to injured students.

The aurors from the ministry came back to thank McGonagall for the warning and scolded her only a little for allowing the students to fight. They saw Harry and decided that they wouldn't say any more, knowing that he had done a lot of fighting only a year ago.

"It's almost time." Hermione looked at her watch and Ron looked puzzled. "I need you to distract me long enough for us to return." He still looked confused and Hermione laughed. "We have about five minutes so on my word I need you to go in there and get me away from everybody because that version of me won't be there after that."

"Right… yeah." She shook her head.

He was never going to understand it, though she took a while to get used to the idea too.

When the time came they crept into the hall and distracted one another long enough for them to fade away without anyone noticing.

When Hermione next saw Ron he looked as though he had seen a ghost and she couldn't contain her laughter.

"And what may I ask is so funny?" _That voice_.

She spun around with the widest grin and launched herself at him. She jumped into his arms and kissed him hard on the lips.

"What was that for? You only saw me a minute ago." Draco asked as he held her into him as tightly as he could.

"I love you. That's all. I just… I love you." She said, her eyes glassing over again.

He laughed a little. "I love you too." She kissed him again and again and she knew that she wasn't going to stop because she knew what it felt like to lose him and she wasn't about to do it again. "You know this isn't over right?" He murmured.

"I know it's not but for five minutes could you just shut that arrogant mouth and kiss me with it?" she muttered.

"I think I can manage that."


	41. Epilogue

Hermione sat with Draco looking out over the grounds. Somewhere out there were the remaining death eaters, though probably miles away by now. Draco looked out into the darkness while she just smiled over at him.

It was only hours ago that he had died right in front of her and now here he was, perfect. He had no idea that if it wasn't for her and Ron he would still be lying cold under a sheet in the hospital wing.

He caught her staring and shuffled awkwardly. "Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?" She asked.

"Staring at me. It's actually quite annoying." She laughed and turned away.

"I'm just proud of what you did tonight. I can't imagine how scared you must have been."

He scoffed. "I wasn't scared."

She hid her smile from him as he brushed her off. He would hate to admit it but at some point he will. Probably not for a long time.

They headed down to the great hall where McGonagall and the other teachers were addressing the rest of the students. It was mostly formalities.

"I will make sure your families are well aware of what happened here tonight and you should all know that extra measures of security will be taken before you return to school next year. Now to those of you who won't be returning… Graduation will run as planned and invitations have already been sent to your families. Those of you who have muggle parents can rest assured, we have arranged for them to arrive promptly. Despite this shadow, you will still be graduating tomorrow.

"If there are any sixth years that have siblings graduating they will be permitted to stay, otherwise the train leaves tomorrow morning. I assure you that you will have a safe journey home, preparations have already been made." She finished with a curt little nod. "Now, it is well past the curfew so I recommend you all head back to your dormitories for some well-deserved rest."

The students began to disperse and Hermione turned to Draco. "I'll see you tomorrow at graduation then?"

"Of course, it's not like we really need to hide anymore." He shrugged and she hugged him.

"No we don't." She said into his shoulder.

They headed out of the hall and Hermione was reluctant to let him leave as he headed to his dormitory. She watched him until he turned the corner, pausing for a moment to smile back at her, and then he was gone.

"Are you ever going to tell him?" She turned to see Ron standing beside her.

"I think it would be better left as our little secret don't you?" She smiled.

"Considering you could get into a lot of trouble, yeah, probably for the best." She put her arm around him and they walked back to their common room.

"Wait! Is Seamus alright?" She asked.

"He's fine. A broken arm and a few bruised ribs, he was just knocked out. He'll be right to graduate tomorrow." Ron said.

"I'll bet he'll milk it for as long as it'll last though."

Ron chuckled. "I'll say. Let's not tell him it was our fault or he'll never let us forget it."

Hermione giggled and sighed to herself. They made it through another year; she just hoped they wouldn't all be like this.

**_Graduation Day_**_ – _

Hermione woke up and smiled. She still couldn't believe what they had done. Even though she wished that she could have spent the night with Draco she knew that it was probably better for them to get some real sleep before they graduated.

She couldn't wait to see her parents out in the grounds watching, they would probably have a lot to talk about with Seamus' dad, he was also a muggle.

She stretched as she got out of bed and picked up her graduation robes that she had laid out neatly on top of her trunk. This was it; this was her last day as a Hogwarts student.

What was she going to do now that it was all over? Hogwarts was like a second home. She felt even sorrier for Harry; this was the only place he really felt was home anymore. He had moved into the burrow with the others and that was where he seemed to fit, but there's nothing like your first _real_ home.

Her heart sank a little. Harry still hadn't said anything to her since the battle. Surely he would have to speak to her at graduation.

She looked at her watch. There were only a couple of hours until it began so she packed her cap into her bag and decided to take a stroll through the castle. It would be her last time as a student.

The walls seemed smaller than they used to, older and wiser. It was almost like Hogwarts had grown with her and she knew that it had helped her become the person she was today. She remembered her first year and how utterly impossible everything had seemed when she had gotten her letter. Now she would probably graduate at the top of her class.

When it was time she headed towards the lake where they had set up a small stage and seats for their families. She saw some of the students talking with their parents and noticed that Molly and Arthur were fussing over Ron and Harry, well Molly was fussing. Luna was dressed normally as she still had a year left at school but her father had come to watch as her friends and boyfriend graduated.

Neville was looking about as sour as ever as his grandmother tutted about one thing or another and Dean and Seamus were introducing their families.

"Hermione! Sweetheart!" She spun around to see her mother striding towards her with her arms outstretched.

Hermione grinned and embraced her. "I'm so glad you're here!"

"We're glad to be here." Her father stood beside her and kissed her head. "I have to say this place is remarkable for a school."

She giggled, "I'll have to show you around after."

"We've just been talking to Draco, he says his parents won't be coming, is that true?" Her mother asked with a shocked look on her face.

Hermione felt a pang and looked over at the seats where Draco sat alone. Wouldn't they even make an attempt for their son's graduation?

"Probably, they're um… well they have a lot on their plates." She said.

"Well we shall cheer for him too." Her father said.

Hermione smiled and hugged them.

"I better go and get ready, we'll be starting soon." She said as she walked over to where Draco sat.

He looked up to see her and smiled.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked.

"You have never once asked me that." She said and he grinned.

"Well I thought it might be nice."

She bent over and kissed him on the cheek. "I like being able to do that." She smiled, her cheeks going faintly rosy.

"Me too." He pulled her back for a quick kiss.

"You're scared because you think my parents are watching aren't you?" she laughed and he rolled his eyes.

"Come on, let's get up there then." He took her hand and they walked to the stage together.

She could see the people staring but she didn't care. The feeling of his hand in hers was better than anything else in that moment.

It wasn't long before the ceremony had started. McGonagall gave a speech and a few of the other teacher spoke kindly of their students. It was wonderful.

"I have had the privilege of teaching these students since they first came to this school. While some of them passed through gracefully, others had a rather turbulent time." McGonagall eyed the golden trio as she spoke and then turned her gaze to Draco and smiled slightly. "It is my great honour to present them to you today, on their final day in this school, as graduates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." She pulled out a scroll from her pocket along with her wand. "Seamus Finnigan!" She called.

The crowd applauded and Hermione saw his parents stand and cheer for him. He gave the crowd a smile and with one arm in a loose sling he gave McGonagall a big grin before she signed his parchment and had him stand to one side of the stage.

Hermione waited for her turn to be called and when McGonagall read her name she couldn't help but smile at the reaction from her parents as she walked toward her and took her parchment.

"Well done Miss Granger." McGonagall said.

She almost seemed teary but Hermione thanked her and went to stand with the other students.

One by one their names were called and slowly the group of students waiting became a limited few. Draco and McGonagall exchanged silent nods as she handed him the parchment and soon there was only one more name to be called.

"Ronald Weasley!" Molly screamed and Arthur shushed her with embarrassment.

And once he had made it to the other side of the stage, it was finished. It was the end of their lives at Hogwarts.

They all gave one last throw of their caps as they made their way off the stage and behind it to say their goodbyes.

Hermione found Draco and hugged him. "I'm so glad we got to do this." She said.

"I know, me too." He said with a hand on her cheek.

"What's that?" Hermione pointed to an envelope floating down to them.

She looked up to see an owl flying away as Draco caught it. On the front was his name written in bright red ink. He looked up suspiciously and slowly opened it. With a sigh, he read it aloud for Hermione to hear.

"Dear Mr Malfoy, one betrayal can be redeemed, but two is a declaration of your treachery. You didn't think we'd let you get away with it did you? You best keep your wits about you because this isn't over until your blood is spilt, not to mention the… filthy mudblood's. You have been forewarned, next time we will not hesitate to act." He closed his eyes and bit his lip. "I am so sorry." He said. "They won't stop."

"I know, it's not your fault. We're just going to have to find a way through this, together." She squeezed his hand tightly. "Come on, I think it's time to ask if I still have anyone on my side, we'll need them for this." He looked like he was about to object but instead he sighed and followed her to where the rest of them were standing.

They all stood together, even Luna and Ginny had come out to see them. Hermione cleared her throat and they turned slowly, most of their faces dropping when they saw her standing there with Draco.

"I know that I've done something that you see as a betrayal, and that I should have told you before, but right now I need to know who I can count on." She said.

She took the letter and Draco nodded as she handed it to Harry. They closed in to read it and Harry looked back up at her.

"This isn't our fight anymore." He said.

"Well it is mine. So long as we're together this is my fight and before you say anything, no, leaving him isn't an option for me."

"You can't seriously be putting your own life on the line for _him_?" Ginny said.

"I know that you don't understand it but a great man once said that it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. That's what I'm doing now. I need to know if any of you are going to stand by me for this, stand by us." She stepped back so that she stood next to Draco and looked up at him.

He gave her a weak smile and looked back at the group who stood silently staring at the two of them. Hermione almost thought that no one would stand with them but Luna stepped forward and stood by her side.

"You'll always have me." She said.

Hermione mimed a thank you to her just as Neville stepped forward.

"Me too." He said.

"Neville you don't have to do everything Luna does." Seamus said with a look of disgust on his face.

"I'm not doing it for her!" He snapped. "I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do. It's what Dumbledore would have wanted us to do." Luna took his hand and he seemed to calm down instantly.

As Hermione looked at the rest of them she knew that this was it, this was the telling moment. Could they really not forgive her for the choice she had made? Was it really such a terrible thing?

She looked to the ground and nodded. She was about to say something when she heard Ron's voice moving towards her.

"Yeah, he's right." He stopped in front of her and they exchanged a smile before he looked up at Draco and gave him a curt nod and stood behind the four of them.

"Ron!" Ginny hissed.

"You're not going to change my mind." He said flatly.

"Well I guess that's that then." Harry said, the look of betrayal in his eyes now doubled as his best friend left him to join his first real enemy.

"I guess it is." Ron said finally.

So the group remained divided. Harry, Dean, Seamus and Ginny turned to walk away leaving the rest standing together.

"I know that wasn't easy for any of you…" Hermione said.

"You just let us know what you need. We're not going anywhere." Ron said, his eyes still following the others away.

So Hermione had her love and half of her friends on her side. She also had a battle ahead of her. She wouldn't trade it though, Draco has shown her things that she had never felt before, and she had awoken in him the desire to love and be loved.

Her friends would come around one day, whether it be tomorrow or ten years from now, and if they didn't then she would have to live with what she had.

For now, that didn't seem like a half bad idea.

**_End._**


	42. SEQUEL

The Sequel for this story is now online! Copy and Paste this link to find it!

s/9560972/1/The-Long-Journey-Home-Dramione


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